Away From His Hand Chapter 4

[forever9218]

Title: Away From His Hand
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye
Author: forever9218
Pairing: Ennis and Jack
Genre: AU/Canon
Rating: Adult

Word Count: 3482
Disclaimer: Brokeback Mountain is the intellectual property of Ms. Annie Proulx. No money is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended. Just

Comments

Passion and confusion

[joetheone]

The feelings and emotions came out very well in this chapter the torment they have felt and the heartache that affects them both living this lie of a half life trying to hold onto a few precious moments and the fear of what could happen to both of them or to one or the other if the one was not around. So well done!! Joe

Re: Passion and confusion

[forever9218]

Thank you, Joe. I was definitely trying to capture the intense and conflicting emotions these two men share as they struggle to find a way to make it all work. One of my goals, in this story, is to honestly display the deep feelings they have for one another, as well as provide an opportunity for them to break the pattern of their embedded, silent rituals. We finally got Ennis to the place where he actually wants to talk about an "us." It won't be easy, but it's an important breakthrough to be sure.

Thanks so much for reading and leaving such an insightful comment. Love, Debra.

Away from his hand

[argentine65]

In that long paragraph where Ennis is looking Jack sleeping, I found one of the most believable Ennis according to the BBM story in fan fiction, but he is moving on, slowly but now it is he who wants to speak. Wonderfully written. Thank you so much for sharing.

Re: Away from his hand

[forever9218]

Hi, Martha. Yes, Ennis is ready to talk. How's that for a miracle?! The boys are finally making some progress, instead of spinning their wheels, going nowhere.

The paragraph you mentioned does capture how Ennis thinks. More than anything else, fear is at the core of every decision he makes. Let's see if Jack can get him to see that other emotions are important too.

As always, thanks for reading and leaving such a supportive comment.

Love, Debra.

[krokomaus]

I´ve read this chapter finally. Wanted to read it days ago but didn´t have the time to read it.

So, I like your writing and the way you let Ennis think. Hope they eventually talk things out. Sex is no solution ;)

Love and hugs,
Dagi

[forever9218]

Hi, Dagi.

Fast or slow, I love seeing you here...ANYTIME! Yes, you are absolutely right. Sex is no solution, and I think Ennis realizes why Jack was sadden by him wanting to quicken the pace, instead of taking it slow and letting each other emotionally experience what they share together (truly making love instead of a quick, physically-based release).

Ennis thinking can be a dangerous thing (as we found out in Chapter 3). But, Ennis speaking might just be another challenge altogether. Who knows what that man will come up with next? At least, he told Jack he wants to talk, instead of Jack always being the one to be the initiator. That's a good thing, for sure.

Thanks so much for reading and the perceptive comment. Take care.

Love, Debra.

Just found this last chapter.

[wayne1932]

I had the first three squirrelled away on my hard drive with your livejournal address. I wondered if anymore had been written. Now I'm wondering if you are going to finish? It's been almost a year. Yeah, I know real life can get in the way.

I love the story. Good writing.

Re: Just found this last chapter.

[forever9218]

Happy New Year's, Wayne. How sweet of you to stop by my journal and leave such a kind and encouraging note. You're right. Real life has been a bitch this past year and has definitely taken me away from most of my Brokeback friends. Who I miss immensely

Re: Just found this last chapter.

[wayne1932]

Thank you Debra,

There are lots of incomplete BBM stories languishing on my hard drive, several with good promise, but maybe the author lost his/her muse. Look forward to your completion.
.
Thanks for your concern, but I am almost completely recovered, as well as a 78 YO can be. Just had surgery to fix up some scar tissue and hernias, but its coming along fine.

[grlewis]

this chapter seesawed me back and forth between tears and smiles, but mostly i feel melencholic. it's a sad one. jack is on the verge of a breakdown, i swear.

i didn't get quite the sense of ennis that i have in your preceeding chapters. his thoughts, at least in the beginning of the chapter, seemed a little well, expansive than i feel ennis' thoughts might be.

the tenderness ennis displays, and the realizations he's coming to move me very much. i'm looking forward to starting chapter 5 which you've just posted.

i do sort of lose track of your story between postings, but i, like wayne, dearly hope you will be able to complete the story and not have to abandon it before. i don't mind having to reread to refresh myself, take as long as you need between chapters. just please, keep plugging away at it.

gr