A new beginning always starts at the end
Title: A new beginning always starts at the end
Rating: PG.
Pairing: Jared/Tomo, hints of Tomo/Matt.
Summary: “I'd like to read a fic about the beginnings of a relationship between Jared and Tomo once Matt left the band.” - hxcfairy
Disclaimer: I don’t know nor own anything. This is just a work of fiction.
Warning(s): none.
Author’s Note: fanfiction written for hxcfairy for the Secret Mars Santa 2007.
Thanks to seasidh for beta-reading it.
The title is a verse of the song “Mother Earth” by Within Temptation.
“So, you’re really leaving, aren’t you?” Jared looked the bassist in the eyes for the first time that morning. He’d known this moment was coming. Matt had told them months ago, but he still couldn’t believe it.
The blond bassist had been with them since the very beginning, he was part of the family.
“I told you I would…” answered Matt, calm as always.
Jared nodded slightly. “You did. I just didn’t think you would actually do it. Stupid, uh?”
Matt was about to say something, probably about how great the time with 30 Seconds to Mars had been, how grateful he was for everything, that he would never forget it, but Jared didn’t let him. He’d told them those things again and again in the last few days, and yet Jared didn’t seem to believe he really meant them. If Matt did, he wouldn’t leave, would he?
Jared knew why his friend was leaving the band and he did understand his reasons. Deep inside, though, he couldn’t help but feeling angry and betrayed.
“Don’t say anything else, Matt,” he said, “I’m leaving this room now. I’ve got things to do. You’re leaving a mess behind.”
He didn’t mean it to sound so accusing, but in that moment he hadn’t full control over his emotions.
“I told you I can play a few more shows if you can’t find a replacement in time…,” offered Matt.
Jared sighed. “That’s not the problem: Tim Kelleher’s already on his way and will play the bass for the rest of the tour, maybe even longer.”
Without giving further explanation, the man left the room.
It was not the tour what he worried about, nor how he felt. Once again, someone he loved was leaving him and that hurt like hell. But he had Shannon, who would always be there for him, letting him know that he’ll never be alone.
Tomo, though, was losing his best friend and lover on occasions, the person he said to be the most important in his life.
***
Jared closed the door and made his way through the darkness to the bunk his friend was lying in. He kneeled down on the floor and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You sleeping?” he whispered.
Tomo’s eyes flew open and looked up at him in a silent answer.
“Feel like talking?” Jared’s hand kept caressing him tenderly.
The guitarist shrugged. “‘bout what?”
“About the show. The -.“ He hesitated. “The first show without Matt.”
Tomo broke their eye contact. No, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it.
When he had joined the band, he had been knowing Shannon for a while: they weren’t friends, but they sometimes hung out together. After becoming a member of 30 Seconds to Mars, though, it hadn’t been Shannon he had grown most fond of. It had been Matt.
The brothers were, in a way, a closed circle. It was natural for them to share everything and they were so close it had looked impossible to get into his circle at the beginning. They had opened up to Matt and Tomo, eventually, and even started to think of them as family, as brothers, but during the guitarist’s first months in the band, he and Matt had become close friends.
Now it was really hard to let go. He could still phone Matt and they could meet when they had time, but it wasn’t going to be the same. What hurt most, was that he gave up the band so easily, without even fighting. He just left, as though it wasn’t important, as though there was nothing, no-one to fight for. As though his friendship with Tomo and the brothers was meaningless.
“No, I don’t wanna talk about it,” he said.
“Ok. Then I’m just gonna stay here with you, how does that sound?”
“Thank you, Jay.”
***
“HE WHAT?!” shouted Shannon, getting closer to Jared and his laptop to read the news himself. “This must be joke!”
But it wasn’t and they all knew it. It was on the official website of Angels and Airwaves, so it had to be true. Matt had really joined that band a few weeks after leaving 30 Seconds to Mars.
“We knew it would happen,” said Jared. He was trying to be calm and rational as usual, but it was crystal clear that he was hurting. He closed the webpage and got up. “I just thought he would wait a little longer, but it’s his own life, right?”
Shannon hugged him from behind and rested his forehead on his shoulder.
“Come here, Tomo, join the hug,” the singer said after a few moments, opening his arms.
Tomo got closer and let himself fall into Jared’s embrace. He closed his eyes and focused on Shannon’s hand on his shoulder and Jared’s arms around his waist.
***
Jared was sitting on the floor, surrounded by a bunch of papers, his guitar, and some pencils. He looked up at Tomo and smiled.
“Want me to play ‘Happy Birthday’ for you?” he asked.
Tomo joined him on the floor, putting a few sheets aside. “Maybe later.”
Jared could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong. “What’s the matter?”
“He didn’t call. It’s almost midnight and he didn’t call. Maybe he will, tomorrow or the day after. But… Couldn’t he call today? Is it that much to ask for a friend remembering your birthday?” said Tomo.
He had waited and waited, but whenever the phone rang, it was never Matt. They hadn’t talked in a while, even though Tomo called him once a week. At first, right after his leaving the band, Matt used to call as well, and they’d spend some time talking about everything just like they did when Matt was still a Mars man.
Then, at some point, Matt had stopped calling, and when it was the guitarist who phoned him, he never had time or he wouldn’t even take the call. He would just ignore the telephone ringing and send a text message a few hours later saying he was busy.
Too busy, it looked, even to call Tomo on his birthday.
“I’m sorry, man.” Jared placed a comforting hand on his friend’s knee.
“I think I’m done with him. I tried to make things work, but it’s getting worse every week. He’s someone else. The Matt I know would never do what he’s doing.” It was the first time Tomo talked about it with Jared. They had grown closer during those months but he’d said nothing about how things were bad with Matt. Finally letting it all out was like acknowledging that it was actually happening, that it wasn’t just in his mind.
“Fuck him. Tomo, don’t let him make you sad. I know damn well it’s not easy, but maybe… maybe you should let go? Maybe we should all take this as a chance for a new beginning?” Jared said. The tone of his voice was firm: he really meant it, he wasn’t saying it just to comfort him.
Tomo chuckled. “Are you saying we should ask Tim to join the band?”
“Not in a lifetime. I’m saying that…” Jared stopped and looked at him for a long time before speaking again. “What if kissed you, Tomo?”
Taken aback, the younger man didn’t know what to say. Not that he didn’t want Jared to kiss him. Actually, he’d been fantasizing about that for a while, but always thought of it as something that was never going to happen. Just a little fantasy.
Well, it looked like it was happening.
He got closer to Jared, their lips almost touching. “If you’re joking I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Jared’s answer was a long, breathtaking kiss. He ran his fingers through Tomo’s hair, the other hand placed on the younger man’s hip, his tongue pressing against his lips. The guitarist opened his mouth just a little and immediately felt his friend’s tongue playing with his own.
When they parted, both needing for air, Jared smiled. “Does it look like I’m joking?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Jared caressed his cheek. “Happy birthday, Tomo.”
(Totally forgot to post this one here, LOL)
Rating: PG.
Pairing: Jared/Tomo, hints of Tomo/Matt.
Summary: “I'd like to read a fic about the beginnings of a relationship between Jared and Tomo once Matt left the band.” - hxcfairy
Disclaimer: I don’t know nor own anything. This is just a work of fiction.
Warning(s): none.
Author’s Note: fanfiction written for hxcfairy for the Secret Mars Santa 2007.
Thanks to seasidh for beta-reading it.
The title is a verse of the song “Mother Earth” by Within Temptation.
“So, you’re really leaving, aren’t you?” Jared looked the bassist in the eyes for the first time that morning. He’d known this moment was coming. Matt had told them months ago, but he still couldn’t believe it.
The blond bassist had been with them since the very beginning, he was part of the family.
“I told you I would…” answered Matt, calm as always.
Jared nodded slightly. “You did. I just didn’t think you would actually do it. Stupid, uh?”
Matt was about to say something, probably about how great the time with 30 Seconds to Mars had been, how grateful he was for everything, that he would never forget it, but Jared didn’t let him. He’d told them those things again and again in the last few days, and yet Jared didn’t seem to believe he really meant them. If Matt did, he wouldn’t leave, would he?
Jared knew why his friend was leaving the band and he did understand his reasons. Deep inside, though, he couldn’t help but feeling angry and betrayed.
“Don’t say anything else, Matt,” he said, “I’m leaving this room now. I’ve got things to do. You’re leaving a mess behind.”
He didn’t mean it to sound so accusing, but in that moment he hadn’t full control over his emotions.
“I told you I can play a few more shows if you can’t find a replacement in time…,” offered Matt.
Jared sighed. “That’s not the problem: Tim Kelleher’s already on his way and will play the bass for the rest of the tour, maybe even longer.”
Without giving further explanation, the man left the room.
It was not the tour what he worried about, nor how he felt. Once again, someone he loved was leaving him and that hurt like hell. But he had Shannon, who would always be there for him, letting him know that he’ll never be alone.
Tomo, though, was losing his best friend and lover on occasions, the person he said to be the most important in his life.
***
Jared closed the door and made his way through the darkness to the bunk his friend was lying in. He kneeled down on the floor and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You sleeping?” he whispered.
Tomo’s eyes flew open and looked up at him in a silent answer.
“Feel like talking?” Jared’s hand kept caressing him tenderly.
The guitarist shrugged. “‘bout what?”
“About the show. The -.“ He hesitated. “The first show without Matt.”
Tomo broke their eye contact. No, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it.
When he had joined the band, he had been knowing Shannon for a while: they weren’t friends, but they sometimes hung out together. After becoming a member of 30 Seconds to Mars, though, it hadn’t been Shannon he had grown most fond of. It had been Matt.
The brothers were, in a way, a closed circle. It was natural for them to share everything and they were so close it had looked impossible to get into his circle at the beginning. They had opened up to Matt and Tomo, eventually, and even started to think of them as family, as brothers, but during the guitarist’s first months in the band, he and Matt had become close friends.
Now it was really hard to let go. He could still phone Matt and they could meet when they had time, but it wasn’t going to be the same. What hurt most, was that he gave up the band so easily, without even fighting. He just left, as though it wasn’t important, as though there was nothing, no-one to fight for. As though his friendship with Tomo and the brothers was meaningless.
“No, I don’t wanna talk about it,” he said.
“Ok. Then I’m just gonna stay here with you, how does that sound?”
“Thank you, Jay.”
***
“HE WHAT?!” shouted Shannon, getting closer to Jared and his laptop to read the news himself. “This must be joke!”
But it wasn’t and they all knew it. It was on the official website of Angels and Airwaves, so it had to be true. Matt had really joined that band a few weeks after leaving 30 Seconds to Mars.
“We knew it would happen,” said Jared. He was trying to be calm and rational as usual, but it was crystal clear that he was hurting. He closed the webpage and got up. “I just thought he would wait a little longer, but it’s his own life, right?”
Shannon hugged him from behind and rested his forehead on his shoulder.
“Come here, Tomo, join the hug,” the singer said after a few moments, opening his arms.
Tomo got closer and let himself fall into Jared’s embrace. He closed his eyes and focused on Shannon’s hand on his shoulder and Jared’s arms around his waist.
***
Jared was sitting on the floor, surrounded by a bunch of papers, his guitar, and some pencils. He looked up at Tomo and smiled.
“Want me to play ‘Happy Birthday’ for you?” he asked.
Tomo joined him on the floor, putting a few sheets aside. “Maybe later.”
Jared could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong. “What’s the matter?”
“He didn’t call. It’s almost midnight and he didn’t call. Maybe he will, tomorrow or the day after. But… Couldn’t he call today? Is it that much to ask for a friend remembering your birthday?” said Tomo.
He had waited and waited, but whenever the phone rang, it was never Matt. They hadn’t talked in a while, even though Tomo called him once a week. At first, right after his leaving the band, Matt used to call as well, and they’d spend some time talking about everything just like they did when Matt was still a Mars man.
Then, at some point, Matt had stopped calling, and when it was the guitarist who phoned him, he never had time or he wouldn’t even take the call. He would just ignore the telephone ringing and send a text message a few hours later saying he was busy.
Too busy, it looked, even to call Tomo on his birthday.
“I’m sorry, man.” Jared placed a comforting hand on his friend’s knee.
“I think I’m done with him. I tried to make things work, but it’s getting worse every week. He’s someone else. The Matt I know would never do what he’s doing.” It was the first time Tomo talked about it with Jared. They had grown closer during those months but he’d said nothing about how things were bad with Matt. Finally letting it all out was like acknowledging that it was actually happening, that it wasn’t just in his mind.
“Fuck him. Tomo, don’t let him make you sad. I know damn well it’s not easy, but maybe… maybe you should let go? Maybe we should all take this as a chance for a new beginning?” Jared said. The tone of his voice was firm: he really meant it, he wasn’t saying it just to comfort him.
Tomo chuckled. “Are you saying we should ask Tim to join the band?”
“Not in a lifetime. I’m saying that…” Jared stopped and looked at him for a long time before speaking again. “What if kissed you, Tomo?”
Taken aback, the younger man didn’t know what to say. Not that he didn’t want Jared to kiss him. Actually, he’d been fantasizing about that for a while, but always thought of it as something that was never going to happen. Just a little fantasy.
Well, it looked like it was happening.
He got closer to Jared, their lips almost touching. “If you’re joking I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Jared’s answer was a long, breathtaking kiss. He ran his fingers through Tomo’s hair, the other hand placed on the younger man’s hip, his tongue pressing against his lips. The guitarist opened his mouth just a little and immediately felt his friend’s tongue playing with his own.
When they parted, both needing for air, Jared smiled. “Does it look like I’m joking?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Jared caressed his cheek. “Happy birthday, Tomo.”
(Totally forgot to post this one here, LOL)