Prompt 171, Stone, "Heart of Stone"

[gretchen8642]

Title: Heart of Stone
Author: gretchen8642
Series: manga
Word Count: 250
Rating: Heavy PG13
Character(s): Roy Mustang & Riza Hawkeye
Summary: we give up so many things for our dreams.
Notes: i. am. so. depressed XD

Comments

[tirinkadink]

I could really see this happening, and that's what breaks my heart about it. At the same time, I'm going to cling to the shred of hope I have that Roy could be (willingly, mind you) talked into a decision far happier for the both of them, because, man, this is too good at the angst. >:U Dang it, you.

This is wonderfully written, though. I'm not usually a fan of splitting sentences and paragraphs like this, but it works well for this fic. Heartwrenching, really. Aside from that... I noticed a few proofreading errors, but nothing major. And I imagine you tried to get it in quickly before the deadline so that's understandable. ;3 Good job anyway.

[gretchen8642]

where are the errors? I wanna fix them XD

[sonjajade]

T______T

I wasn't sad before I read this, but I am now :_(

[bay115]

Oh ouch. D: I always imagine Roy not wanting children for those reasons and it hurts to see him feeling conflicted. I actually thought Riza wouldn't want children either, but it could be a chance she would want one eventually. I admit at first slightly confused how this fits the prompt, but like your different approach to it (I is slow XD ). Overall, great work!

[sofipitch]

God, this is sad.

[ghostfriendly]

A sad story told in direct realistic terms. Very sad, and certainly what might happen with Roy and riza, though we hope it doesn't.