Comments | fma_fic_contest: Prompt 167, Overheard, "Bastard"

gretchen8642 in fma_fic_contest

Prompt 167, Overheard, "Bastard"

May 17, 2012 23:08

Title: Bastard
Author: gretchen8642
Series: Pre-Brotherhood/Manga
Characters: roy and his parents
Word Count: 247
Rating: R
Summary: he wishes he couldn't hear it.
Warning: domestic and child abuse, implied sexual assault

( Little fucker’s costing me an arm and a leg. )

gretchen8642, prompt 167

Comments 12

baroqueangel May 17 2012, 22:16:18 UTC

D: Poor Roy <3333

I do love a good bit of angst and this is definitely a very good bit of angst :)

47thlight May 17 2012, 23:23:29 UTC

My heart... is breaking at an unstoppable rate...!!

That is so damn tragic, and while I usually don't find the use of extra language very tasteful, it really brings the piece to life in this case. I wouldn't have caught the vividness you were trying to depict without it, so it works. Nicely done!

Imma go cry for Roy and his momma now.

antigone_rex May 18 2012, 04:43:43 UTC

Given my profession, this hits quite close to home. I have seen such children far too many times, with their quiet hands and too-wide eyes.

Your piece is brutal (and exceptionally well-written I might add). Unfortunately such violence is a reality for many, many kids in this world.

Sad thoughts...

ghostfriendly May 18 2012, 10:51:59 UTC

Very strong right to the end; the horror of Roy's situation is put to us in clear, unambiguous terms. Well done.

manarai May 18 2012, 23:22:20 UTC

I agree with the previous commenters - this was very brutal, vivid, naturalistic even. And very well written in itself.

I never noticed any hints of possible abuse in Mustang's childhood in the anime-verse(or I tuned them out if there were any) so the choice of his character for this topic came as a surprise.

gretchen8642 May 19 2012, 07:26:28 UTC

it's in my personal headcanon, how he ended up with Madame with no parents or family. roy's gonna run for it after a while XD