i'm crushed black and blue (but you know i'd do it all again for you); kyuhyun/sungmin; r
Title: i'm crushed black and blue (but you know i'd do it all again for you)
Author: flusteredmess
Rating: R
Pairing/Focus: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
A/N: NO CAPS (CAPITAL LETTERS). Beware. Also, dark!Kyumin up in hurr. By the way, this was inspired by All Again For You by We The Kings.
when we couldn’t hook up at home
sungmin woke up to a constant toktoktok on his bedroom window.
at first, everything was blurry and confusing, and he had to fumble out of his blanket. when that was finally done, everything seemed to focus, and he found himself staring at his bedside digital clock, which blinked 11:56 PM in a neon red color.
then the toktoktok started again. sungmin turned to his bedroom window, and was confronted with a set of pebbles plummeting and hitting the window unceasingly.
“oh.” he merely said as he walked over to his window, opening it without thinking. he was about to look down, but was instead hit by a pebble straight to his forehead. sungmin stepped back and hissed in pain.
“shit.” someone cursed far below. then, “hey sungmin, you okay?”
sungmin felt a thin line of blood run down his forehead and then down one side of his face, just by his right eye. it looked like he was crying blood.
“i… it’s bleeding, kyuhyun.”
sungmin whimpered as he wiped it away with the back of his hand.
kyuhyun cursed again.
“look, can you come down? just- let me check it for you.”
sungmin could taste the lie in kyuhyun’s words. he looked over his digital clock, which now blinked 12:00 AM.
“it’s so late, kyuhyun.” sungmin said without moving. it was so silent and dead that he didn’t have to raise his voice. he spoke normally, as if kyuhyun was just in front of him. “i’ll just wash the blood away and put some ointment on it. you can go.”
“no, that’s not-“ kyuhyun paused, and he made a noise. a plastic bag being shifted to one hand. then clinking. “i bought beer. come down and drink with me, sungmin. i missed you.”
sungmin winced.
he walked over to the bedroom window, and looked down. blood had started to slide down his face again.
far below, kyuhyun looked up at him, a tight-lipped, one-sided smile on his lips. sungmin contemplated.
“i’m sorry.” he finally whispered. “my parents are home, and i can’t. i can’t break the rules in my own house.”
“we’re not going to drink inside, duh.” kyuhyun rolled his eyes, trying to humor himself. “come down here, sungmin.”
“you don’t understand.”
sungmin shut the window.
kyuhyun stayed for a few more minutes, musing at the fact that it looked like sungmin was crying tears of blood out of one eye.
*
and the cops chased us again
sungmin trembled as the blinding light from the flashlight flashed before his face. he was so scared. so, so scared.
hidden from view, kyuhyun gripped sungmin’s hand, reassuring him that everything was going to be alright.
the flashlight flashed on kyuhyun’s face again, and the cop grunted.
“get out of the car.”
then he withdrew, stepped a few feet backward, and waited.
that was when sungmin panicked and broke down. he clutched kyuhyun tight, his whole body shaking as he felt the cold fear dousing him.
earlier, when the police car had first appeared in the rearview mirror, sungmin had felt a certain numbness. it must’ve been the adrenaline, since kyuhyun had tried to pick up a chase, but of course, he had to stop, because beside him, sungmin had looked more or less dead with the numbness.
it had eaten sungmin whole, and kyuhyun had slapped him. the stinging pain made sungmin jerk, and that was when the trembling began.
“kyuhyun, w-what are… what’s-“ sungmin choked. “just… i-i’m so scared.”
kyuhyun withdrew and pressed a kiss on sungmin’s forehead. “i’m just going to talk to him. try to worm us out of this.”
“y-yeah… okay.”
sungmin willed himself to relax as he watched kyuhyun slip out of the front seat and out to the darkness, right to where the cop stood a few feet away, under a streetlamp.
then, after a few moments, kyuhyun and the cop disappeared. sungmin tried, and failed, to figure out where they had headed. the night was long and harsh, and the cold enveloped the car. fog cast itself around the deserted road, and sungmin willed himself to become numb once more.
and then kyuhyun appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. sungmin nearly screamed, but kyuhyun shushed him.
“it’s okay. everything’s okay.” he said, rubbing sungmin’s cheek before starting the car. it roared to life, and before sungmin could fully register everything that had happened, he found himself being drove home.
“kyuhyun?”
“mmm?”
“what happened?”
kyuhyun’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.
“i talked it over with him.” then, like earlier, he said, “it’s okay.”
and then the traffic light flashed red. kyuhyun leaned back on the driver’s seat, and sungmin watched. he saw angry marks on kyuhyun’s neck. sungmin knew what those were.
he had his own set all over his shoulders and torso, where no one except kyuhyun was allowed to see.
as the traffic light flashed green, sungmin began to tremble once more.
*
when you were mine
“let’s do something we haven’t done before.”
sungmin, through the thick haze of lust, blinked and looked up at kyuhyun.
“what?”
kyuhyun bit sungmin’s shoulder harder than usual, as if he wanted to break the skin there. sungmin winced, biting his bottom lip to stop the pained whimper that was threatening to spill.
“i said, let’s do something we haven’t done before.”
kyuhyun could read i don't think that's a good idea in sungmin’s eyes before he could even word it out properly.
“if you love me, you’d do it.”
it was stupid. it was stupid and fucked up and sungmin had never imagined that he would be in this kind of situation.
“i love you." sungmin said as kyuhyun entered him, tearing him in half. he felt himself bleeding as kyuhyun's face contorted in pleasure. "i love you. i love you. i love you."
kyuhyun pulled out, and sungmin felt comforted, but kyuhyun slipped inside again. sungmin wanted to scream, but he stopped himself. his parents were downstairs. all they knew was that their son was doing his homework with his 'strange' friend (as sungmin's mother called kyuhyun). they weren't supposed to hear.
kyuhyun knew this perfectly well, and changed the angle of his thrusts to where it would hurt more for sungmin.
"tell me it hurts." kyuhyun said in a raspy voice. "tell me to stop."
sungmin wanted to throw up.
he looked at kyuhyun straight in the eyes.
"i love you, kyuhyun." sungmin said with all the emotion he could muster. kyuhyun's thrusts became erratic, and he came, pressing himself deep inside sungmin.
"god, fuck--" kyuhyun gulped as he came down his high. "oh shit, that was the best sex i've ever had."
sungmin jumped to his feet, ran, and stumbled to the bathroom. he emptied his stomach's contents down the sink.
*
you were everything that's bad for me
sungmin packed the last of his things, nostalgia filling him as he looked around his empty bedroom, stripped bare and left of nothing. he felt his heart twitch painfully.
"sungmin, hurry up! truck's about to leave." his father called out. sungmin took one last look at his room. memories flashed before his eyes, and all of them involved kyuhyun.
the name in his tongue was foreign and bitter.
he went down the steps, out the front door, and was greeted by his mother, who ushered him inside their car. sungmin obeyed, watched as his parents spoke with some people, finalizing their transfer.
sungmin's phone began buzzing, and he reached into his pocket. he stared at the caller id.
kyuhyun
sungmin wanted to press the red button, but he found himself pressing the green one instead.
"you're moving away?" kyuhyun's voice was low, as if he was whispering against sungmin's ear. sungmin shivered and nodded, then foolishly, he remembered that kyuhyun wasn't there.
"yes." he managed to say. his parents were shaking hands with the people. they were bidding farewell.
"and you weren't going to tell me?"
"no." sungmin felt the dread seeping through as his parents walked towards the car. "listen, i'm going to move away. for good. forget about us. forget about me. forget about everythi--"
"don't fucking say what you don't mean." kyuhyun said harshly. sungmin could hear the anger in his voice. "--so selfish, so fucking selfish. min, don't you know how much i care for you?"
sungmin's parents were already just a few feet away--
"i'm gonna hang up." sungmin said.
"tell me where you're moving."
"i can't. i'm sorry." sungmin's thumb was already lingering on the red button.
"then turn around."
sungmin ended the call. he didn't turn around. his parents greeted him with a smile. his father started the engine. they drove off, and that was when sungmin finally stole a glance back.
kyuhyun was there, standing underneath the shadow of a tree, a broken smile on his face as he watched sungmin go.
*
i'm crushed black and blue
sungmin watched the days go by.
everything was new, but that didn't mean anything to him at all. he was satisfied just to sit back and pretend that everything was normal; that he didn't have to cope.
at night, though, he dreamed.
he dreamed of dark eyes and side smiles. he dreamed of wicked dreams, of hands touching him everywhere. he dreamed that he was drunk out of his mind. he dreamed of being fucked.
he dreamed of the past.
days came and went. it was far too long now.
but then, one day, he remembered.
he remembered everything.
he remembered kyuhyun.
*
but you know i'd do it all again for you
sungmin felt cold. he wrapped his arms around himself. he watched as his breath fogged up against the window. he tried to make out something of the scenery outside, but it was too dark.
sungmin leaned back against his seat and eyed the backpack beside him, checking off things in the list in his mind.
"aren't we going a little too fast?"
kyuhyun gave him a sideways glance and grinned. "i just want to make sure that by the time your parents wake up and find you missing, we'll be so far away that they'd have no choice but to forget that they have a son."
sungmin found this both profoundly horrible and beautiful at the same time.
"i'm not losing you again, lee sungmin." kyuhyun pulled him into a kiss, causing them to nearly hit a passing vehicle.
and before they knew it, a police car was hot on their trail.
this time, sungmin met kyuhyun's eyes and said, "drive faster." as he fastened his seatbelt.
kyuhyun complied and sped away.
*
end
Author: flusteredmess
Rating: R
Pairing/Focus: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
A/N: NO CAPS (CAPITAL LETTERS). Beware. Also, dark!Kyumin up in hurr. By the way, this was inspired by All Again For You by We The Kings.
when we couldn’t hook up at home
sungmin woke up to a constant toktoktok on his bedroom window.
at first, everything was blurry and confusing, and he had to fumble out of his blanket. when that was finally done, everything seemed to focus, and he found himself staring at his bedside digital clock, which blinked 11:56 PM in a neon red color.
then the toktoktok started again. sungmin turned to his bedroom window, and was confronted with a set of pebbles plummeting and hitting the window unceasingly.
“oh.” he merely said as he walked over to his window, opening it without thinking. he was about to look down, but was instead hit by a pebble straight to his forehead. sungmin stepped back and hissed in pain.
“shit.” someone cursed far below. then, “hey sungmin, you okay?”
sungmin felt a thin line of blood run down his forehead and then down one side of his face, just by his right eye. it looked like he was crying blood.
“i… it’s bleeding, kyuhyun.”
sungmin whimpered as he wiped it away with the back of his hand.
kyuhyun cursed again.
“look, can you come down? just- let me check it for you.”
sungmin could taste the lie in kyuhyun’s words. he looked over his digital clock, which now blinked 12:00 AM.
“it’s so late, kyuhyun.” sungmin said without moving. it was so silent and dead that he didn’t have to raise his voice. he spoke normally, as if kyuhyun was just in front of him. “i’ll just wash the blood away and put some ointment on it. you can go.”
“no, that’s not-“ kyuhyun paused, and he made a noise. a plastic bag being shifted to one hand. then clinking. “i bought beer. come down and drink with me, sungmin. i missed you.”
sungmin winced.
he walked over to the bedroom window, and looked down. blood had started to slide down his face again.
far below, kyuhyun looked up at him, a tight-lipped, one-sided smile on his lips. sungmin contemplated.
“i’m sorry.” he finally whispered. “my parents are home, and i can’t. i can’t break the rules in my own house.”
“we’re not going to drink inside, duh.” kyuhyun rolled his eyes, trying to humor himself. “come down here, sungmin.”
“you don’t understand.”
sungmin shut the window.
kyuhyun stayed for a few more minutes, musing at the fact that it looked like sungmin was crying tears of blood out of one eye.
*
and the cops chased us again
sungmin trembled as the blinding light from the flashlight flashed before his face. he was so scared. so, so scared.
hidden from view, kyuhyun gripped sungmin’s hand, reassuring him that everything was going to be alright.
the flashlight flashed on kyuhyun’s face again, and the cop grunted.
“get out of the car.”
then he withdrew, stepped a few feet backward, and waited.
that was when sungmin panicked and broke down. he clutched kyuhyun tight, his whole body shaking as he felt the cold fear dousing him.
earlier, when the police car had first appeared in the rearview mirror, sungmin had felt a certain numbness. it must’ve been the adrenaline, since kyuhyun had tried to pick up a chase, but of course, he had to stop, because beside him, sungmin had looked more or less dead with the numbness.
it had eaten sungmin whole, and kyuhyun had slapped him. the stinging pain made sungmin jerk, and that was when the trembling began.
“kyuhyun, w-what are… what’s-“ sungmin choked. “just… i-i’m so scared.”
kyuhyun withdrew and pressed a kiss on sungmin’s forehead. “i’m just going to talk to him. try to worm us out of this.”
“y-yeah… okay.”
sungmin willed himself to relax as he watched kyuhyun slip out of the front seat and out to the darkness, right to where the cop stood a few feet away, under a streetlamp.
then, after a few moments, kyuhyun and the cop disappeared. sungmin tried, and failed, to figure out where they had headed. the night was long and harsh, and the cold enveloped the car. fog cast itself around the deserted road, and sungmin willed himself to become numb once more.
and then kyuhyun appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. sungmin nearly screamed, but kyuhyun shushed him.
“it’s okay. everything’s okay.” he said, rubbing sungmin’s cheek before starting the car. it roared to life, and before sungmin could fully register everything that had happened, he found himself being drove home.
“kyuhyun?”
“mmm?”
“what happened?”
kyuhyun’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.
“i talked it over with him.” then, like earlier, he said, “it’s okay.”
and then the traffic light flashed red. kyuhyun leaned back on the driver’s seat, and sungmin watched. he saw angry marks on kyuhyun’s neck. sungmin knew what those were.
he had his own set all over his shoulders and torso, where no one except kyuhyun was allowed to see.
as the traffic light flashed green, sungmin began to tremble once more.
*
when you were mine
“let’s do something we haven’t done before.”
sungmin, through the thick haze of lust, blinked and looked up at kyuhyun.
“what?”
kyuhyun bit sungmin’s shoulder harder than usual, as if he wanted to break the skin there. sungmin winced, biting his bottom lip to stop the pained whimper that was threatening to spill.
“i said, let’s do something we haven’t done before.”
kyuhyun could read i don't think that's a good idea in sungmin’s eyes before he could even word it out properly.
“if you love me, you’d do it.”
it was stupid. it was stupid and fucked up and sungmin had never imagined that he would be in this kind of situation.
“i love you." sungmin said as kyuhyun entered him, tearing him in half. he felt himself bleeding as kyuhyun's face contorted in pleasure. "i love you. i love you. i love you."
kyuhyun pulled out, and sungmin felt comforted, but kyuhyun slipped inside again. sungmin wanted to scream, but he stopped himself. his parents were downstairs. all they knew was that their son was doing his homework with his 'strange' friend (as sungmin's mother called kyuhyun). they weren't supposed to hear.
kyuhyun knew this perfectly well, and changed the angle of his thrusts to where it would hurt more for sungmin.
"tell me it hurts." kyuhyun said in a raspy voice. "tell me to stop."
sungmin wanted to throw up.
he looked at kyuhyun straight in the eyes.
"i love you, kyuhyun." sungmin said with all the emotion he could muster. kyuhyun's thrusts became erratic, and he came, pressing himself deep inside sungmin.
"god, fuck--" kyuhyun gulped as he came down his high. "oh shit, that was the best sex i've ever had."
sungmin jumped to his feet, ran, and stumbled to the bathroom. he emptied his stomach's contents down the sink.
*
you were everything that's bad for me
sungmin packed the last of his things, nostalgia filling him as he looked around his empty bedroom, stripped bare and left of nothing. he felt his heart twitch painfully.
"sungmin, hurry up! truck's about to leave." his father called out. sungmin took one last look at his room. memories flashed before his eyes, and all of them involved kyuhyun.
the name in his tongue was foreign and bitter.
he went down the steps, out the front door, and was greeted by his mother, who ushered him inside their car. sungmin obeyed, watched as his parents spoke with some people, finalizing their transfer.
sungmin's phone began buzzing, and he reached into his pocket. he stared at the caller id.
kyuhyun
sungmin wanted to press the red button, but he found himself pressing the green one instead.
"you're moving away?" kyuhyun's voice was low, as if he was whispering against sungmin's ear. sungmin shivered and nodded, then foolishly, he remembered that kyuhyun wasn't there.
"yes." he managed to say. his parents were shaking hands with the people. they were bidding farewell.
"and you weren't going to tell me?"
"no." sungmin felt the dread seeping through as his parents walked towards the car. "listen, i'm going to move away. for good. forget about us. forget about me. forget about everythi--"
"don't fucking say what you don't mean." kyuhyun said harshly. sungmin could hear the anger in his voice. "--so selfish, so fucking selfish. min, don't you know how much i care for you?"
sungmin's parents were already just a few feet away--
"i'm gonna hang up." sungmin said.
"tell me where you're moving."
"i can't. i'm sorry." sungmin's thumb was already lingering on the red button.
"then turn around."
sungmin ended the call. he didn't turn around. his parents greeted him with a smile. his father started the engine. they drove off, and that was when sungmin finally stole a glance back.
kyuhyun was there, standing underneath the shadow of a tree, a broken smile on his face as he watched sungmin go.
*
i'm crushed black and blue
sungmin watched the days go by.
everything was new, but that didn't mean anything to him at all. he was satisfied just to sit back and pretend that everything was normal; that he didn't have to cope.
at night, though, he dreamed.
he dreamed of dark eyes and side smiles. he dreamed of wicked dreams, of hands touching him everywhere. he dreamed that he was drunk out of his mind. he dreamed of being fucked.
he dreamed of the past.
days came and went. it was far too long now.
but then, one day, he remembered.
he remembered everything.
he remembered kyuhyun.
*
but you know i'd do it all again for you
sungmin felt cold. he wrapped his arms around himself. he watched as his breath fogged up against the window. he tried to make out something of the scenery outside, but it was too dark.
sungmin leaned back against his seat and eyed the backpack beside him, checking off things in the list in his mind.
"aren't we going a little too fast?"
kyuhyun gave him a sideways glance and grinned. "i just want to make sure that by the time your parents wake up and find you missing, we'll be so far away that they'd have no choice but to forget that they have a son."
sungmin found this both profoundly horrible and beautiful at the same time.
"i'm not losing you again, lee sungmin." kyuhyun pulled him into a kiss, causing them to nearly hit a passing vehicle.
and before they knew it, a police car was hot on their trail.
this time, sungmin met kyuhyun's eyes and said, "drive faster." as he fastened his seatbelt.
kyuhyun complied and sped away.
*
end