Confession: Lovers [1/2]
Title: Confession: Lovers [1/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: It happened spontaneously, but their love didn’t.
No one wanted to get close to Wu Yifan because of his personality.
He was known for his amazing skills in basketball, but his moodiness and grumpiness were more famous than his sport activities. Some said he was a hitman who just happened to fake his identity by going to the university. Others said he was a part of a well known gangster who currently tried to expand the group by recruiting university students. They were just rumors, of course, but it was true, Yifan had such an intimidating aura that it got people to think twice before talking to him-or to even be his friends. Upon seeing his face, anyone would probably choose to run for their lives instead than to have a nice chat.
Junmyeon was never really bothered by it.
Afterall, he rarely met Yifan. They had different classes and Junmyeon only saw Yifan once or twice at the basketball practice-simply because Chanyeol was there for the practice, too.
So when Yifan suddenly cornered him against the wall with his hands pinning Junmyeon’s sides as a sign that he didn’t have any intention of letting him walk away, Junmyeon felt his knees wobbling and his heartbeat dramatically increased as if he was in a horror movie. Junmyeon wondered if he had done any mistake or even owed him some money, but then Yifan spoke so closely to his ear, asking him to be his boyfriend. It almost took a whole minute for Junmyeon to realize that the scary Wu Yifan was confessing to him.
Love confession, to be exact.
Junmyeon was so shocked that he couldn’t even utter a proper response. He felt himself squirming under Yifan’s unreadable gaze as he glued his back onto the wall, trying to inch away but of course to no avail. If it was any other person, he probably would just stay calm and shrug it off, but this was Wu Yifan he was facing at the moment.
The poker face person. The man everyone feared. The man everyone tried to avoid.
Junmyeon mentally whimpered and wondered if Yifan would let him go if he said he needed time to think...
He wouldn’t know until he tried.
“C-can-can I think about it...?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes at Junmyeon. “You have five minutes.”
“N-no, I mean-“ Junmyeon hugged the books in his chest even tighter and absently wondered why there wasn’t a single person around them at the moment. Oh right, they were probably too scared to interfere. “I-I need...some time to-“
“I said,” Yifan interrupted his stuttering and his low tone sounded dangerous. “Would you-“
Junmyeon squeaked a yes without thinking.
“R-really?”
It took him the entire strength he had in his body to just answer the question that unconsciously, Junmyeon closed his eyes in fear because he had a stupid thought that Yifan would snap or hit him or something, but something about his reaction earlier made him cracked his eyes open. Junmyeon was a bit taken aback by Yifan’s disbelief expression and did the Chinese male just...stutter?
“I said-“
“Y-yes! R-really!”
This time, it was Yifan who seemed a bit taken aback by Junmyeon’s reaction. The taller of the two carefully took a step back, giving the other male some space. Junmyeon’s lips trembled as he finally let out the breath he had been holding, but his back was still pressed tightly against the wall.
“Wow,” Yifan breathed quietly, but it was more to himself than to Junmyeon. “So, uh...I still have class today, but...do you want to go home together...tomorrow?”
Junmyeon’s jaw almost dropped because suddenly, Yifan’s scary image vanished to God knew where. The male tried his best to remember if he had any other appointment tomorrow, but his mind could barely function at the moment. Everything that happened was just too overwhelming that Junmyeon could only nod dumbly in reply.
Tomorrow.
“Great,” Yifan murmured to himself. The male took another step back and stared blankly at Junmyeon. “I’ll...wait for you after class.”
Again, Junmyeon could only nodded dumbly. Both of them did nothing but stared at each other for a while. It was funny because Junmyeon had a feeling that Yifan was as shock as him. Their eyes lingered at each other more than it was supposed to. Junmyeon felt heat was starting to creep to his cheeks and he had to look away.
He never knew Yifan was this breathtaking.
Junmyeon felt a gentle pat on his head and he glanced up. It surprised him to know that Yifan gave him a calming smile before turning around to walk away.
Wu Yifan is...smiling...?
When Yifan was out of his peripheral vision, Junmyeon felt like his whole body had stopped functioning because he helplessly fell onto the floor and his books scattered everywhere. He hugged his body in attempt to stop the trembling, but he wasn’t sure if it was fear anymore.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what he felt.
***
Junmyeon thought he was probably out of his mind.
The confession shocked him too much that he missed his train twice and missed his station once. Junmyeon couldn’t help but wondering if what he had just done was right. Because honestly, he felt nothing toward Yifan and the ‘yes’ basically slipped out as a panic respond. Sure, there were times when Junmyeon thought Yifan was handsome but that was all. Like anyone else, he was too scared to approach Yifan. Like anyone else, he didn’t want to get himself into trouble. It had never occurred to him to be romantically involved with the taller male because, once again, everyone in their university tried to avoid the Chinese male.
Junmyeon had a nightmare that night.
Morning came too soon to his liking because when he woke up, it was when he realized that he had an appointment with Chanyeol.
Junmyeon felt doomed.
He knew for a fact that Chanyeol disliked Yifan for no reason. He just did. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if it had something to do with the basketball match the other day-Yifan beat his team with a jaw dropping score and ever since, Chanyeol seemed to be irritated whenever the Chinese male was near.
Is Chanyeol gonna be angry?
Junmyeon whimpered weakly to himself.
The male hadn’t been himself for the whole day. He was too scared to face everything that he was late for class. Fortunately, the only seat available was the one in front-which was something he seldom felt grateful of because only that way, he wouldn’t have to talk to his friends the whole hour. Junmyeon nervously sent Chanyeol a smile before fixing his attention to the lecturer.
Time passed by painfully slow.
Chanyeol’s cheerful laugh snapped Junmyeon out of his trance. The bell had rung and their class was done. Chanyeol could approach him any minute now... Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder and noticed his tall friend was walking toward him. He felt himself breaking into a cold sweat and tried to hide his trembling hands by shoving his books into the bag.
What should I do?
“Hey.”
Junmyeon visibly tensed at Chanyeol’s voice. “H-hey...”
What should I tell him?
“So, you’re ready for Hummingbird?” Chanyeol asked with a wide grin as he placed an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder.
“I-“ Junmyeon stared at Chanyeol nervously. “I-right. Jason Statham.”
Should I lie?
“Yixing said he fell asleep while watching the movie, but then again, he was never fully awake,” Chanyeol laughed. “Let us prove that.”
“Right,” Junmyeon shifted his eyes back onto his bag. His mind quickly swam through a hundred of reasons to decline, but when he couldn’t find any, he tried to change the subject casually. “Kyungsoo-he’s not coming with us?”
“Nope. You know that Kyungsoo doesn’t like this kind of movie. And isn’t it supposed to be our quality time together?”
Junmyeon felt helpless. “R-right...”
Chanyeol gave him a frown. “Is there something wrong, hyung?”
Junmyeon took a deep breath before lifting up his head to stare at the taller male. “I... I can’t today, Chanyeol. I’m-I’m really sorry...”
It took Chanyeol a few seconds to register his words and his eyes widened in disbelief. “Eh? Why? We’ve planned this from a week ago.”
Junmyeon was unable to look at Chanyeol anymore. “I-I know... It’s just...something came up...”
“And what is more important than this?”
“It’s...”
“It’s what?”
“That’s...”
“What?”
Junmyeon was obviously desperate and lost that he couldn’t bring himself to say what was on his mind. It caused Chanyeol to groan in frustration.
“Hyung, what is it???”
With a heavy sigh, Junmyeon brought his hands to his face. Why was it so hard to just tell him? But...now that he thought about it, how could he ditch his best friend for a stranger? (Well, you were scared and you couldn’t think clearly yesterday, Junmyeon reasoned to himself). Chanyeol was right, they had planned to watch the movie since last week. He was so excited for the movie that Junmyeon felt very guilty about it.
“I...I promised Yifan I would go home together with him...”
They were drowned in an uncomfortable silence. Chanyeol’s expression hardened at the mention of the name and Junmyeon noticed it.
“...you what?”
“I-I’m going home with Yifan...”
“Yifan-Wu Yifan?”
Chanyeol got a weak nod as a reply.
“What do you mean by that-“ Chanyeol gasped dramatically. “Going home together like-like dating?”
“I’m...I’m not sure-“
Chanyeol grabbed Junmyeon’s arm roughly all of a sudden and forced the older male to look at him. “What do you mean, hyung??”
“I said yes to him, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon cried and did his best to not freak out. Chanyeol was starting to scare him. His friend was glaring at him and he hated it. Junmyeon tried to detach himself from Chanyeol’s grip but the latter was too strong for him.
“You said...yes? What-what the hell were you thinking, hyung???”
“I wasn’t thinking, that’s why!” Junmyeon cried weakly. “I was-I was scared, Chanyeol! He came to me, asking me out and I-I was scared-“
“That bitchface,” Chanyeol growled in dismay. “Taking advantage of your fear-what a gentleman. Let me talk to him and tell him that you were drunk yesterday-“
“No!!”
Chanyeol stared at him in disbelief. “No...?”
Junmyeon brought a hand to his mouth. No...?
“I-I mean...no, not...now. It would be too cruel...”
Chanyeol grimaced darkly. “Aside from is it cruel or not, still, it isn’t right to say yes. You didn’t even know the guy. You didn’t even like him.”
“I-I know...” Junmyeon’s eyes drifted subconsciously to the door and he caught a glimpse of Yifan standing across the hall. Something about the view made his heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t sure if it was fear. Yifan was already waiting for him. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry. I have to go...”
Chanyeol followed Junmyeon’s line of sight and he pouted in great dislike. “Just tell him that it’s not working, alright? As soon as you get home, tell him that it’s not working.”
Chanyeol just doesn’t want me to get hurt.
“I will,” Junmyeon whispered. “I will, Chanyeol-ah.”
But he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do such thing.
***
‘Going home together’ really meant going home together.
Both Yifan and Junmyeon were awfully awkward with each other and none of them managed to say a word.
Yifan opened his mouth a few times to say something to break the tension but then he closed it back, unsure of what to say. Junmyeon, mostly consumed by fear, kept his mouth shut the whole time-he didn’t want to say something wrong and got scolded by the Chinese male. They were walking side by side and Junmyeon was amazed at how tall Yifan was. He was probably even taller than Chanyeol.
“Do you like bubble tea?”
Junmyeon jolted out of his reverie and glanced at Yifan in surprise. The taller of the two had stopped walking and had his thumb pointing to a bubble tea store behind him. Junmyeon was blank for a moment before shifting his gaze to the said place and Yifan seemed to realize his hesitation.
“Too childish? Maybe...coffee?”
There was a hint of worry laced underneath Yifan’s tone.
Junmyeon almost broke into a smile because no, he didn’t think bubble tea was childish but the moment he stared at Yifan, the feeling of fear resurfaced and he only shook his head in return. “B-bubble tea sounds nice...”
They went into the store, but it turned out that the place was pretty crowded. Most of them were highschool girls who snapped their heads to their direction-to Yifan, mostly-the moment they stepped inside. Junmyeon blinked at the huge amount of interest displayed against the person beside him. He observed Yifan’s features absently from the corner of his eye as they waited for their turn and a simple smile tugged on his lips.
Yifan was definitely handsome.
The Chinese male paid for them both before Junmyeon even got to take his wallet. He tried handing Yifan a few bills, but a glare was all he got in return so he kept his money back. They snatched their orders on the counter and continued walking home. Their journey was soon filled with another uncomfortable silence.
Junmyeon carefully stole a few glances at Yifan as he sipped his drink. He was never this close before, but now that Junmyeon was able to stare at him closely, Yifan seemed...pretty normal. He seemed strong, mature and wise. His scary image hadn’t completely disappeared, but it wasn’t that scary like people said. Sure, he had a grumpy bitchface, but seeing him walking quietly beside Junmyeon, holding his drink with a hand and the other hand was fished into his pocket...
He was starting to feel comfortable.
Something grew weak within Junmyeon.
I...I need to tell him that it’s not working.
Junmyeon pressed his lips together as he looked down.
What if-what if he gets angry?
For a first date-if what they had could be categorized as date anyway, because all they did was walking together in silence-Yifan was being nice, but Junmyeon didn’t want him to walk him home...yet. Maybe it was better if they separated at the station. The place was flooded with people, and it probably would be the best place to reject him-just in case if Yifan got angry and snapped. Wouldn’t want the other male to murder him in a quiet place and bury his body someplace unknown-
Stop that stupid thought, Junmyeon.
Junmyeon played with the straw his drink as they waited for the train to come. He didn’t know how to start. It took him quite a while to gather the strength to talk and Junmyeon cleared his throat.
“Yi-Yifan?”
The said male turned to him with a questioning look on his face. “Yes?”
We’re not-it’s not-
Junmyeon lowered his head. Suddenly his heart beat so fast and he felt extremely nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was alright...but he needed to say it. He needed to say it, right...? That-that they were rushing. That-that Junmyeon wasn’t even thinking when he said yes. That-that they barely knew each other. That-that they still had a lot of ‘that’s.
“I-“
Someone accidentally bumped onto Junmyeon and he stumbled forward before he got the chance to say anything.
Yifan caught him by reflex and held him close protectively. With their height, Junmyeon’s head was on Yifan’s chest and the latter instinctively placed a hand on the back of his head, as if to protect him.
“Are you alright?”
Junmyeon’s heart quivered at the gesture and he slowly glanced up.
Yifan’s look was sincere on him. He was genuinely concerned.
What is it that I’m feeling?
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon nodded nervously and pulled away. He pulled away, but he wasn’t able to make it very far because Yifan’s hand was still on his hair. “I’m-I’m sorry.”
“As long as you’re not hurt,” Yifan shook his head. “Anyway, what is it that you were about to say?”
It-it’s not working.
Junmyeon swallowed because Yifan smelled really nice and their height fit and the way Yifan had his fingers on his hair felt nice-
“I...I just want to say thank you...”
Yifan looked a bit surprised at his words. The Chinese male gave him a kind smile before replying,
“I’m the one who should say that. Thank you for today, Junmyeon.”
Yifan’s smile made Junmyeon felt a bit difficult to breathe.
When the train came, Junmyeon’s plan of saying goodbye to Yifan was forgotten. He let Yifan guided him into the train.
He let Yifan walked him home.
***
Sometimes when things happened spontaneously, it would be followed by regret.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure if he felt it.
All he knew was that he felt a new feeling, a mixture of confusion and fear and excitement and uncertainty and the list was endless. Everytime he remembered the night when he let Yifan walked him home, his stomach would be filled with butterflies. It was weird because Yifan did nothing when they finally reached his apartment but to wish him goodnight and to not forget to lock the door.
Junmyeon couldn’t sleep well that night.
He didn’t meet Yifan for the following week.
Which was good, because he wasn’t sure of what he felt toward the other male. Were they in a relationship...? Perhaps, because Junmyeon had said yes, but were they really in one? Like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo...? Junmyeon didn’t know. Yifan hadn’t contacted him ever since, but it occurred to him that the male probably didn’t have his number...
Junmyeon’s mind was occupied with Yifan that he completely forgot about Chanyeol. He was soon reminded the moment his friend walked into the class and Junmyeon held his breath. He wished Chanyeol wouldn’t remember their conversation last week, but as the male turned to him and gave him a demanding look, he knew he remembered.
“How did it go?”
Junmyeon dreaded the question so badly that he wasn’t able to calm down. His voice was surprisingly indifferent, but his stammering showed otherwise. “W-what?”
Chanyeol gave him a stern look. “Don’t act stupid, you know what I’m talking about.”
“Oh,” Junmyeon feigned a surprised look. “Uh...”
“What does ‘uh’ mean?”
“It-it means...” Junmyeon trailed off and he knew Chanyeol knew. The latter had been his closest friend since high school and with the years they had been through, it was easy for Chanyeol to notice his behavior. “I...”
Chanyeol groaned in distaste. “You haven’t.”
“Chan-“
“You haven’t,” Chanyeol facepalmed and shook his head. “Why?”
“I-I don’t know,” Junmyeon honestly answered. “It...it just seemed inappropriate in the first day... I mean, if I want to say that it’s not working...at least I should wait for a few days...right?”
“There’s no such thing as inappropriate-oh dear God, hyung,” Chanyeol’s hand was still pressed against his face and he heaved. “Fine. So when?”
Junmyeon’s shoulders flinched slightly.
When...?
“When, hyung?”
“S-soon...”
“The sooner, the better,” Chanyeol firmly said as he placed a hand on the older male’s shoulder. “I just...I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Junmyeon weakly smiled. “I-I know...”
“And I don’t want you to hurt him. You have nothing for him, hyung. I just...I don’t want you to toy with his feelings. You get what I’m saying, right?”
That we can’t be together...?
“Anyway, you still owe me a movie. I canceled it last week. Luhan-hyung and Minseok-hyung said they would meet me there...us, if you’re free, though.”
Junmyeon unconsciously directed his eyes at the empty hall outside the classroom. Last week, Yifan was there, waiting for him. A part of him wished that Yifan would be there, and another part of him wished that he wouldn’t (because there was Chanyeol and Junmyeon wasn’t sure what would happen when the two meet).
“Okay...I’ll go with you.”
“You will?” Chanyeol’s expression brightened and he seemed to forget about Yifan already. “Awesome! Hummingbird, here we come!”
Junmyeon chuckled at Chanyeol’s reaction and gathered his things. He glanced at the empty hall once again before looking away. Chanyeol couldn’t stop talking about Jason Statham and how it was supposed to be a great movie (judging from the reviews he read) and Junmyeon could only smile at his friend’s behavior.
He was smiling, but something inside him felt empty.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure what it was.
***
Junmyeon fell asleep the whole movie and he was woken up by Minseok when it was over.
Chanyeol seemed to be only person who was still excited after the movie. Luhan and Minseok almost looked as bored as him but they said nothing because at least Chanyeol was happy.
They decided to just go home because most of them were still full from the popcorns in the movie. The group was heading to the station when they passed by the bubble tea store. Junmyeon’s steps slowly came to a stop because the place reminded him of Yifan. The name brought an uncanny feeling upon his chest and he wondered what the male was doing right now.
“Guys? Bubble tea?”
Luhan glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “Bubble tea? Since when...?”
Junmyeon sheepishly smiled. “I just feel like it.”
“I’ll pass,” Minseok wrinkled his nose. “I’m still full from the soda.”
“Yeah, me too,” Luhan nodded. “Why don’t you go inside and we’ll wait for you here?”
Junmyeon stared at the store momentarily before shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. You guys go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Luhan and Minseok stared at each other reluctantly.
“I’ll go with you,” Chanyeol offered.
“It’s really okay,” Junmyeon shook his head apologetically at his friends. “I just... I want to be alone.”
He waved them goodbye without waiting for any reply and headed inside the said place. After queuing for a while, Junmyeon finally got his order-the same one with the one Yifan got him last week-and walked out of the store. His friends were nowhere to be found, which was good, because he had a feeling Chanyeol would ignore his words and stayed with him. Luckily he was wrong.
“Yifan,” Junmyeon murmured quietly to himself. “I’m drinking bubble tea...”
“I can see that you are.”
Junmyeon choked on his drink and coughed uncontrollably. He felt someone patted his back a bit panickly. When his cough finally subsided, Junmyeon looked up with teary eyes-
-only to almost lose his breath when he realized it was Yifan.
“Yi-Yifan?”
Yifan bit his lower lip worriedly. “Did I surprise you? I’m so sorry.”
“No, I was...” Junmyeon trailed off because Yifan was clad in a t-shirt and shorts and he was a bit sweating-maybe he just had a basketball practice?-but overall he was...
...handsome.
“It’s nice to bump into you here,” Yifan smiled warmly. “I’m heading to the station. Are you going home?”
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon replied and he mentally whined for his stuttering. He couldn’t help but feeling terribly nervous whenever Yifan was around. “I just went to the movie with Chanyeol and the others-“
“Chanyeol?”
Junmyeon went pale at the way Yifan mentioned his friend’s name. The Chinese male had his eyebrows furrowed together into a line and the look he gave was a mixture of dislike and curiosity. Junmyeon felt fear seeped into him at the taller male’s expression. Did he say something wrong?
“H-he’s a friend,” Junmyeon stammered and his fingers tightened around his drink. Yifan’s expression didn’t change and it scared him even more. “We-we did nothing. We just went to the movie because I promised him last week I would go with him but then it got canceled and-please don’t-”
Junmyeon shut his eyes in distress when Yifan extended his arm toward his direction. He waited for a hit, a punch, anything but nothing came. Instead, Junmyeon felt a gentle tug on his arm to pull him forward and he gasped as Yifan brought him closer to his chest.
“You’re in the way,” Yifan said.
Junmyeon hastily glanced over his shoulder and realized that Yifan was right. Had the taller male not pulled him, people might have bumped onto him. Again.
“I’m sorry, please don’t what...?”
Junmyeon’s hands were trembling as he looked up to catch Yifan’s black orbs.
Please don’t get...angry?
“I... I thought you might scold me...”
But...but you’re not...
Yifan batted his eyelashes in confusion at his sentence. The male finally seemed to understand what Junmyeon was saying and his mouth formed a small ‘oh’.
“...it’s the face, Junmyeon.”
“Huh?”
“It’s the face,” Yifan repeated and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m not-I’m not angry.”
Junmyeon went speechless at how flustered Yifan had become. The taller of the two looked somewhat embarrassed and looked away. It was cute and Junmyeon knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but...it was cute to know the other side of Yifan. Slowly, but surely, his fear dissipated and Junmyeon’s lips curved upward.
Maybe Yifan’s not that scary afterall...
Something beat differently within him the moment Yifan caught his gaze and spoke,
“Let’s go. I’ll walk you home.”
Junmyeon felt his chest was filled with something foreign and he nodded shyly in response.
[2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: It happened spontaneously, but their love didn’t.
No one wanted to get close to Wu Yifan because of his personality.
He was known for his amazing skills in basketball, but his moodiness and grumpiness were more famous than his sport activities. Some said he was a hitman who just happened to fake his identity by going to the university. Others said he was a part of a well known gangster who currently tried to expand the group by recruiting university students. They were just rumors, of course, but it was true, Yifan had such an intimidating aura that it got people to think twice before talking to him-or to even be his friends. Upon seeing his face, anyone would probably choose to run for their lives instead than to have a nice chat.
Junmyeon was never really bothered by it.
Afterall, he rarely met Yifan. They had different classes and Junmyeon only saw Yifan once or twice at the basketball practice-simply because Chanyeol was there for the practice, too.
So when Yifan suddenly cornered him against the wall with his hands pinning Junmyeon’s sides as a sign that he didn’t have any intention of letting him walk away, Junmyeon felt his knees wobbling and his heartbeat dramatically increased as if he was in a horror movie. Junmyeon wondered if he had done any mistake or even owed him some money, but then Yifan spoke so closely to his ear, asking him to be his boyfriend. It almost took a whole minute for Junmyeon to realize that the scary Wu Yifan was confessing to him.
Love confession, to be exact.
Junmyeon was so shocked that he couldn’t even utter a proper response. He felt himself squirming under Yifan’s unreadable gaze as he glued his back onto the wall, trying to inch away but of course to no avail. If it was any other person, he probably would just stay calm and shrug it off, but this was Wu Yifan he was facing at the moment.
The poker face person. The man everyone feared. The man everyone tried to avoid.
Junmyeon mentally whimpered and wondered if Yifan would let him go if he said he needed time to think...
He wouldn’t know until he tried.
“C-can-can I think about it...?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes at Junmyeon. “You have five minutes.”
“N-no, I mean-“ Junmyeon hugged the books in his chest even tighter and absently wondered why there wasn’t a single person around them at the moment. Oh right, they were probably too scared to interfere. “I-I need...some time to-“
“I said,” Yifan interrupted his stuttering and his low tone sounded dangerous. “Would you-“
Junmyeon squeaked a yes without thinking.
“R-really?”
It took him the entire strength he had in his body to just answer the question that unconsciously, Junmyeon closed his eyes in fear because he had a stupid thought that Yifan would snap or hit him or something, but something about his reaction earlier made him cracked his eyes open. Junmyeon was a bit taken aback by Yifan’s disbelief expression and did the Chinese male just...stutter?
“I said-“
“Y-yes! R-really!”
This time, it was Yifan who seemed a bit taken aback by Junmyeon’s reaction. The taller of the two carefully took a step back, giving the other male some space. Junmyeon’s lips trembled as he finally let out the breath he had been holding, but his back was still pressed tightly against the wall.
“Wow,” Yifan breathed quietly, but it was more to himself than to Junmyeon. “So, uh...I still have class today, but...do you want to go home together...tomorrow?”
Junmyeon’s jaw almost dropped because suddenly, Yifan’s scary image vanished to God knew where. The male tried his best to remember if he had any other appointment tomorrow, but his mind could barely function at the moment. Everything that happened was just too overwhelming that Junmyeon could only nod dumbly in reply.
Tomorrow.
“Great,” Yifan murmured to himself. The male took another step back and stared blankly at Junmyeon. “I’ll...wait for you after class.”
Again, Junmyeon could only nodded dumbly. Both of them did nothing but stared at each other for a while. It was funny because Junmyeon had a feeling that Yifan was as shock as him. Their eyes lingered at each other more than it was supposed to. Junmyeon felt heat was starting to creep to his cheeks and he had to look away.
He never knew Yifan was this breathtaking.
Junmyeon felt a gentle pat on his head and he glanced up. It surprised him to know that Yifan gave him a calming smile before turning around to walk away.
Wu Yifan is...smiling...?
When Yifan was out of his peripheral vision, Junmyeon felt like his whole body had stopped functioning because he helplessly fell onto the floor and his books scattered everywhere. He hugged his body in attempt to stop the trembling, but he wasn’t sure if it was fear anymore.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what he felt.
***
Junmyeon thought he was probably out of his mind.
The confession shocked him too much that he missed his train twice and missed his station once. Junmyeon couldn’t help but wondering if what he had just done was right. Because honestly, he felt nothing toward Yifan and the ‘yes’ basically slipped out as a panic respond. Sure, there were times when Junmyeon thought Yifan was handsome but that was all. Like anyone else, he was too scared to approach Yifan. Like anyone else, he didn’t want to get himself into trouble. It had never occurred to him to be romantically involved with the taller male because, once again, everyone in their university tried to avoid the Chinese male.
Junmyeon had a nightmare that night.
Morning came too soon to his liking because when he woke up, it was when he realized that he had an appointment with Chanyeol.
Junmyeon felt doomed.
He knew for a fact that Chanyeol disliked Yifan for no reason. He just did. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if it had something to do with the basketball match the other day-Yifan beat his team with a jaw dropping score and ever since, Chanyeol seemed to be irritated whenever the Chinese male was near.
Is Chanyeol gonna be angry?
Junmyeon whimpered weakly to himself.
The male hadn’t been himself for the whole day. He was too scared to face everything that he was late for class. Fortunately, the only seat available was the one in front-which was something he seldom felt grateful of because only that way, he wouldn’t have to talk to his friends the whole hour. Junmyeon nervously sent Chanyeol a smile before fixing his attention to the lecturer.
Time passed by painfully slow.
Chanyeol’s cheerful laugh snapped Junmyeon out of his trance. The bell had rung and their class was done. Chanyeol could approach him any minute now... Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder and noticed his tall friend was walking toward him. He felt himself breaking into a cold sweat and tried to hide his trembling hands by shoving his books into the bag.
What should I do?
“Hey.”
Junmyeon visibly tensed at Chanyeol’s voice. “H-hey...”
What should I tell him?
“So, you’re ready for Hummingbird?” Chanyeol asked with a wide grin as he placed an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder.
“I-“ Junmyeon stared at Chanyeol nervously. “I-right. Jason Statham.”
Should I lie?
“Yixing said he fell asleep while watching the movie, but then again, he was never fully awake,” Chanyeol laughed. “Let us prove that.”
“Right,” Junmyeon shifted his eyes back onto his bag. His mind quickly swam through a hundred of reasons to decline, but when he couldn’t find any, he tried to change the subject casually. “Kyungsoo-he’s not coming with us?”
“Nope. You know that Kyungsoo doesn’t like this kind of movie. And isn’t it supposed to be our quality time together?”
Junmyeon felt helpless. “R-right...”
Chanyeol gave him a frown. “Is there something wrong, hyung?”
Junmyeon took a deep breath before lifting up his head to stare at the taller male. “I... I can’t today, Chanyeol. I’m-I’m really sorry...”
It took Chanyeol a few seconds to register his words and his eyes widened in disbelief. “Eh? Why? We’ve planned this from a week ago.”
Junmyeon was unable to look at Chanyeol anymore. “I-I know... It’s just...something came up...”
“And what is more important than this?”
“It’s...”
“It’s what?”
“That’s...”
“What?”
Junmyeon was obviously desperate and lost that he couldn’t bring himself to say what was on his mind. It caused Chanyeol to groan in frustration.
“Hyung, what is it???”
With a heavy sigh, Junmyeon brought his hands to his face. Why was it so hard to just tell him? But...now that he thought about it, how could he ditch his best friend for a stranger? (Well, you were scared and you couldn’t think clearly yesterday, Junmyeon reasoned to himself). Chanyeol was right, they had planned to watch the movie since last week. He was so excited for the movie that Junmyeon felt very guilty about it.
“I...I promised Yifan I would go home together with him...”
They were drowned in an uncomfortable silence. Chanyeol’s expression hardened at the mention of the name and Junmyeon noticed it.
“...you what?”
“I-I’m going home with Yifan...”
“Yifan-Wu Yifan?”
Chanyeol got a weak nod as a reply.
“What do you mean by that-“ Chanyeol gasped dramatically. “Going home together like-like dating?”
“I’m...I’m not sure-“
Chanyeol grabbed Junmyeon’s arm roughly all of a sudden and forced the older male to look at him. “What do you mean, hyung??”
“I said yes to him, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon cried and did his best to not freak out. Chanyeol was starting to scare him. His friend was glaring at him and he hated it. Junmyeon tried to detach himself from Chanyeol’s grip but the latter was too strong for him.
“You said...yes? What-what the hell were you thinking, hyung???”
“I wasn’t thinking, that’s why!” Junmyeon cried weakly. “I was-I was scared, Chanyeol! He came to me, asking me out and I-I was scared-“
“That bitchface,” Chanyeol growled in dismay. “Taking advantage of your fear-what a gentleman. Let me talk to him and tell him that you were drunk yesterday-“
“No!!”
Chanyeol stared at him in disbelief. “No...?”
Junmyeon brought a hand to his mouth. No...?
“I-I mean...no, not...now. It would be too cruel...”
Chanyeol grimaced darkly. “Aside from is it cruel or not, still, it isn’t right to say yes. You didn’t even know the guy. You didn’t even like him.”
“I-I know...” Junmyeon’s eyes drifted subconsciously to the door and he caught a glimpse of Yifan standing across the hall. Something about the view made his heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t sure if it was fear. Yifan was already waiting for him. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry. I have to go...”
Chanyeol followed Junmyeon’s line of sight and he pouted in great dislike. “Just tell him that it’s not working, alright? As soon as you get home, tell him that it’s not working.”
Chanyeol just doesn’t want me to get hurt.
“I will,” Junmyeon whispered. “I will, Chanyeol-ah.”
But he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do such thing.
***
‘Going home together’ really meant going home together.
Both Yifan and Junmyeon were awfully awkward with each other and none of them managed to say a word.
Yifan opened his mouth a few times to say something to break the tension but then he closed it back, unsure of what to say. Junmyeon, mostly consumed by fear, kept his mouth shut the whole time-he didn’t want to say something wrong and got scolded by the Chinese male. They were walking side by side and Junmyeon was amazed at how tall Yifan was. He was probably even taller than Chanyeol.
“Do you like bubble tea?”
Junmyeon jolted out of his reverie and glanced at Yifan in surprise. The taller of the two had stopped walking and had his thumb pointing to a bubble tea store behind him. Junmyeon was blank for a moment before shifting his gaze to the said place and Yifan seemed to realize his hesitation.
“Too childish? Maybe...coffee?”
There was a hint of worry laced underneath Yifan’s tone.
Junmyeon almost broke into a smile because no, he didn’t think bubble tea was childish but the moment he stared at Yifan, the feeling of fear resurfaced and he only shook his head in return. “B-bubble tea sounds nice...”
They went into the store, but it turned out that the place was pretty crowded. Most of them were highschool girls who snapped their heads to their direction-to Yifan, mostly-the moment they stepped inside. Junmyeon blinked at the huge amount of interest displayed against the person beside him. He observed Yifan’s features absently from the corner of his eye as they waited for their turn and a simple smile tugged on his lips.
Yifan was definitely handsome.
The Chinese male paid for them both before Junmyeon even got to take his wallet. He tried handing Yifan a few bills, but a glare was all he got in return so he kept his money back. They snatched their orders on the counter and continued walking home. Their journey was soon filled with another uncomfortable silence.
Junmyeon carefully stole a few glances at Yifan as he sipped his drink. He was never this close before, but now that Junmyeon was able to stare at him closely, Yifan seemed...pretty normal. He seemed strong, mature and wise. His scary image hadn’t completely disappeared, but it wasn’t that scary like people said. Sure, he had a grumpy bitchface, but seeing him walking quietly beside Junmyeon, holding his drink with a hand and the other hand was fished into his pocket...
He was starting to feel comfortable.
Something grew weak within Junmyeon.
I...I need to tell him that it’s not working.
Junmyeon pressed his lips together as he looked down.
What if-what if he gets angry?
For a first date-if what they had could be categorized as date anyway, because all they did was walking together in silence-Yifan was being nice, but Junmyeon didn’t want him to walk him home...yet. Maybe it was better if they separated at the station. The place was flooded with people, and it probably would be the best place to reject him-just in case if Yifan got angry and snapped. Wouldn’t want the other male to murder him in a quiet place and bury his body someplace unknown-
Stop that stupid thought, Junmyeon.
Junmyeon played with the straw his drink as they waited for the train to come. He didn’t know how to start. It took him quite a while to gather the strength to talk and Junmyeon cleared his throat.
“Yi-Yifan?”
The said male turned to him with a questioning look on his face. “Yes?”
We’re not-it’s not-
Junmyeon lowered his head. Suddenly his heart beat so fast and he felt extremely nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was alright...but he needed to say it. He needed to say it, right...? That-that they were rushing. That-that Junmyeon wasn’t even thinking when he said yes. That-that they barely knew each other. That-that they still had a lot of ‘that’s.
“I-“
Someone accidentally bumped onto Junmyeon and he stumbled forward before he got the chance to say anything.
Yifan caught him by reflex and held him close protectively. With their height, Junmyeon’s head was on Yifan’s chest and the latter instinctively placed a hand on the back of his head, as if to protect him.
“Are you alright?”
Junmyeon’s heart quivered at the gesture and he slowly glanced up.
Yifan’s look was sincere on him. He was genuinely concerned.
What is it that I’m feeling?
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon nodded nervously and pulled away. He pulled away, but he wasn’t able to make it very far because Yifan’s hand was still on his hair. “I’m-I’m sorry.”
“As long as you’re not hurt,” Yifan shook his head. “Anyway, what is it that you were about to say?”
It-it’s not working.
Junmyeon swallowed because Yifan smelled really nice and their height fit and the way Yifan had his fingers on his hair felt nice-
“I...I just want to say thank you...”
Yifan looked a bit surprised at his words. The Chinese male gave him a kind smile before replying,
“I’m the one who should say that. Thank you for today, Junmyeon.”
Yifan’s smile made Junmyeon felt a bit difficult to breathe.
When the train came, Junmyeon’s plan of saying goodbye to Yifan was forgotten. He let Yifan guided him into the train.
He let Yifan walked him home.
***
Sometimes when things happened spontaneously, it would be followed by regret.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure if he felt it.
All he knew was that he felt a new feeling, a mixture of confusion and fear and excitement and uncertainty and the list was endless. Everytime he remembered the night when he let Yifan walked him home, his stomach would be filled with butterflies. It was weird because Yifan did nothing when they finally reached his apartment but to wish him goodnight and to not forget to lock the door.
Junmyeon couldn’t sleep well that night.
He didn’t meet Yifan for the following week.
Which was good, because he wasn’t sure of what he felt toward the other male. Were they in a relationship...? Perhaps, because Junmyeon had said yes, but were they really in one? Like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo...? Junmyeon didn’t know. Yifan hadn’t contacted him ever since, but it occurred to him that the male probably didn’t have his number...
Junmyeon’s mind was occupied with Yifan that he completely forgot about Chanyeol. He was soon reminded the moment his friend walked into the class and Junmyeon held his breath. He wished Chanyeol wouldn’t remember their conversation last week, but as the male turned to him and gave him a demanding look, he knew he remembered.
“How did it go?”
Junmyeon dreaded the question so badly that he wasn’t able to calm down. His voice was surprisingly indifferent, but his stammering showed otherwise. “W-what?”
Chanyeol gave him a stern look. “Don’t act stupid, you know what I’m talking about.”
“Oh,” Junmyeon feigned a surprised look. “Uh...”
“What does ‘uh’ mean?”
“It-it means...” Junmyeon trailed off and he knew Chanyeol knew. The latter had been his closest friend since high school and with the years they had been through, it was easy for Chanyeol to notice his behavior. “I...”
Chanyeol groaned in distaste. “You haven’t.”
“Chan-“
“You haven’t,” Chanyeol facepalmed and shook his head. “Why?”
“I-I don’t know,” Junmyeon honestly answered. “It...it just seemed inappropriate in the first day... I mean, if I want to say that it’s not working...at least I should wait for a few days...right?”
“There’s no such thing as inappropriate-oh dear God, hyung,” Chanyeol’s hand was still pressed against his face and he heaved. “Fine. So when?”
Junmyeon’s shoulders flinched slightly.
When...?
“When, hyung?”
“S-soon...”
“The sooner, the better,” Chanyeol firmly said as he placed a hand on the older male’s shoulder. “I just...I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Junmyeon weakly smiled. “I-I know...”
“And I don’t want you to hurt him. You have nothing for him, hyung. I just...I don’t want you to toy with his feelings. You get what I’m saying, right?”
That we can’t be together...?
“Anyway, you still owe me a movie. I canceled it last week. Luhan-hyung and Minseok-hyung said they would meet me there...us, if you’re free, though.”
Junmyeon unconsciously directed his eyes at the empty hall outside the classroom. Last week, Yifan was there, waiting for him. A part of him wished that Yifan would be there, and another part of him wished that he wouldn’t (because there was Chanyeol and Junmyeon wasn’t sure what would happen when the two meet).
“Okay...I’ll go with you.”
“You will?” Chanyeol’s expression brightened and he seemed to forget about Yifan already. “Awesome! Hummingbird, here we come!”
Junmyeon chuckled at Chanyeol’s reaction and gathered his things. He glanced at the empty hall once again before looking away. Chanyeol couldn’t stop talking about Jason Statham and how it was supposed to be a great movie (judging from the reviews he read) and Junmyeon could only smile at his friend’s behavior.
He was smiling, but something inside him felt empty.
Junmyeon wasn’t sure what it was.
***
Junmyeon fell asleep the whole movie and he was woken up by Minseok when it was over.
Chanyeol seemed to be only person who was still excited after the movie. Luhan and Minseok almost looked as bored as him but they said nothing because at least Chanyeol was happy.
They decided to just go home because most of them were still full from the popcorns in the movie. The group was heading to the station when they passed by the bubble tea store. Junmyeon’s steps slowly came to a stop because the place reminded him of Yifan. The name brought an uncanny feeling upon his chest and he wondered what the male was doing right now.
“Guys? Bubble tea?”
Luhan glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “Bubble tea? Since when...?”
Junmyeon sheepishly smiled. “I just feel like it.”
“I’ll pass,” Minseok wrinkled his nose. “I’m still full from the soda.”
“Yeah, me too,” Luhan nodded. “Why don’t you go inside and we’ll wait for you here?”
Junmyeon stared at the store momentarily before shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. You guys go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Luhan and Minseok stared at each other reluctantly.
“I’ll go with you,” Chanyeol offered.
“It’s really okay,” Junmyeon shook his head apologetically at his friends. “I just... I want to be alone.”
He waved them goodbye without waiting for any reply and headed inside the said place. After queuing for a while, Junmyeon finally got his order-the same one with the one Yifan got him last week-and walked out of the store. His friends were nowhere to be found, which was good, because he had a feeling Chanyeol would ignore his words and stayed with him. Luckily he was wrong.
“Yifan,” Junmyeon murmured quietly to himself. “I’m drinking bubble tea...”
“I can see that you are.”
Junmyeon choked on his drink and coughed uncontrollably. He felt someone patted his back a bit panickly. When his cough finally subsided, Junmyeon looked up with teary eyes-
-only to almost lose his breath when he realized it was Yifan.
“Yi-Yifan?”
Yifan bit his lower lip worriedly. “Did I surprise you? I’m so sorry.”
“No, I was...” Junmyeon trailed off because Yifan was clad in a t-shirt and shorts and he was a bit sweating-maybe he just had a basketball practice?-but overall he was...
...handsome.
“It’s nice to bump into you here,” Yifan smiled warmly. “I’m heading to the station. Are you going home?”
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon replied and he mentally whined for his stuttering. He couldn’t help but feeling terribly nervous whenever Yifan was around. “I just went to the movie with Chanyeol and the others-“
“Chanyeol?”
Junmyeon went pale at the way Yifan mentioned his friend’s name. The Chinese male had his eyebrows furrowed together into a line and the look he gave was a mixture of dislike and curiosity. Junmyeon felt fear seeped into him at the taller male’s expression. Did he say something wrong?
“H-he’s a friend,” Junmyeon stammered and his fingers tightened around his drink. Yifan’s expression didn’t change and it scared him even more. “We-we did nothing. We just went to the movie because I promised him last week I would go with him but then it got canceled and-please don’t-”
Junmyeon shut his eyes in distress when Yifan extended his arm toward his direction. He waited for a hit, a punch, anything but nothing came. Instead, Junmyeon felt a gentle tug on his arm to pull him forward and he gasped as Yifan brought him closer to his chest.
“You’re in the way,” Yifan said.
Junmyeon hastily glanced over his shoulder and realized that Yifan was right. Had the taller male not pulled him, people might have bumped onto him. Again.
“I’m sorry, please don’t what...?”
Junmyeon’s hands were trembling as he looked up to catch Yifan’s black orbs.
Please don’t get...angry?
“I... I thought you might scold me...”
But...but you’re not...
Yifan batted his eyelashes in confusion at his sentence. The male finally seemed to understand what Junmyeon was saying and his mouth formed a small ‘oh’.
“...it’s the face, Junmyeon.”
“Huh?”
“It’s the face,” Yifan repeated and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m not-I’m not angry.”
Junmyeon went speechless at how flustered Yifan had become. The taller of the two looked somewhat embarrassed and looked away. It was cute and Junmyeon knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but...it was cute to know the other side of Yifan. Slowly, but surely, his fear dissipated and Junmyeon’s lips curved upward.
Maybe Yifan’s not that scary afterall...
Something beat differently within him the moment Yifan caught his gaze and spoke,
“Let’s go. I’ll walk you home.”
Junmyeon felt his chest was filled with something foreign and he nodded shyly in response.
[2]