Empty Spaces [3/3]
Title: Empty Spaces [3/3]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: broken!JunSeung
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Six persons. Six fates. One conclusion.
Author’s Note: Unbeta-ed. Please, no translations allowed!
[2]
Hyunseung stopped wiping his glass and listened. He heard his neighbor’s sister closed the door before humming a song-a famous song that’s been on radio recently-and walked away. When the footsteps faded away, Hyunseung put the glass in the cabinet. He walked to the front door and opened it-and it creaked.
He sighed and thought he needed to remind Doojoon that the taller male promised to fix his door. And Doojoon always groaned everytime he came to Hyunseung’s apartment because the door creaked no matter how careful they tried to open it. Since Hyunseung was working as a bartender and he always came home late, it was actually annoying to hear the sound in the middle of the night.
But no one protested.
At least, not yet?
But it won’t be a problem anymore. Since Hyunseung’s going to move in soon with Doojoon.
The light brown haired male tilted his head as he leaned on the door frame. He dreamily stared at the garden in front of his apartment. The garden was one of the reasons why Hyunseung picked this one. It was a bit far than Doojoon’s house-and much too far from Doojoon’s store. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons Doojoon asked him to move to his place.
I’m gonna miss this view...
Hyunseung softly sighed. It was actually a big decision, to move in together. But he and Doojoon had been dating for two going three years already. He honestly thought Doojoon was the perfect man for him. Hyunseung actually should be happy that by asking him to live together, Doojoon was serious about their relationship and willing to take a step further.
He should be happy.
Instead, Hyunseung was feeling empty. He cared about Doojoon so much, he felt secure leaning to those arms, he was perfect...but, there’s just something...something that Hyunseung couldn’t explain. Maybe it was just nervousness. Maybe he was actually really excited. Maybe.
“Hyunseung-ah?”
Hyunseung blinked and turned to stare at Gina. His neighbor was standing in front of him, and she’s been waving her hand in front of the male’s face. “Ah. Good morning Noona.”
“Earth to Hyunseung-ah,” Gina joked and tucked her hands into her blazer. “What were you thinking?”
“Something,” Hyunseung replied nonchalantly. “Going to work already?”
“Yeah. Well then, see you later, Hyunseung-ah.”
Gina patted his head like a big sister and waved goodbye. When she was about to walk away, Hyunseung abruptly called her.
“Noona?”
“Hm?”
“...Doojoon asked me to move in with him.”
“He did?,” Gina’s eyes widened in happiness. “You lucky thing! Oh, I’m so happy for you! So moving in is like...a step closer to marriage, right? Is that a hint? Oh my God you’re so lucky! Doojoon-ah is so reliable and so caring and so lovable and he’s so handsome and he’s really a gentleman and he’s-“
Hyunseung giggled. “I see my boyfriend got a fangirl.”
Gina grinned and flashed him a peace sign with her fingers. “Okay then. I’ll stop spazzing for now. Go inside and get some rest. You must be tired since you came home around three.”
“Damn, this creaking door. I’m so sorry, Noona, I’ll have it fixed right away-“
“The same thing you’ve been saying for the past few months. Naah. At least I know you’re coming home. And can’t help it since our apartment’s cheap,” Gina laughed before glancing at her watch. “Crap, I’m gonna be late. See you, Hyunseung-ah!”
***
Junhyung thought Kikwang was bored.
And it was perfectly normal to feel that way.
Kikwang didn’t return his kisses as passionately as usual, he didn’t look like he’s in the mood whenever Junhyung wanted to do more than just cuddling and it seemed like they only talked to each other at the dining table.
Was it because of Junhyung’s work? But they’ve been in a relationship for a few years and Kikwang had never protested. So if it was because of the job, why start now?
Junhyung looked up as Kikwang walked into the living room. Their gazes met and for a moment, they only stared at each other wordlessly. This seemed to happen a lot lately. It felt like they’re strangers and not lovers. But Junhyung didn’t want to believe that. This situation was just temporary, he’s sure of it.
It was Kikwang who broke the silence first. “Junnie. What do you want for dinner?”
Junhyung looked like he was thinking. “Hmm... I was thinking...let’s go out tonight.”
“Eh? You’re not working?”
“I can always take a day off,” Junhyung shrugged and walked closer to Kikwang. The latter flinched a bit, but did nothing when Junhyung embraced him into his arms. “I miss you...”
Kikwang closed his eyes and slowly hugged the taller male back. Junnie...
Junhyung kissed Kikwang’s forehead softly and smiled at his boyfriend. Kikwang slowly smiled back, and Junhyung tilted his head before leaning forward, a sign that he wanted to kiss Kikwang more. Kikwang looked hesitant at first, but he let himself be kissed and after a while, he started to kiss Junhyung back. Junhyung felt relieved and held the back of Kikwang’s neck as their kiss deepened.
Kikwang was pushed softly backwards and his back was against the wall. Now he got nowhere to run from Junhyung. The taller male kissed him passionately, and Kikwang mentally wanted to cry, because something in his heart was screaming. But he, even though Kikwang himself wondered where did he get such strength, kept on kissing Junhyung back. Kikwang felt Junhyung was searching for his hand, before moving down to suck on Kikwang’s neck.
Sh-should I moan?
Kikwang bit his lip in uncertainty and stopped as Junhyung claimed his lips again. Their hands kept on entwining and he could feel Junhyung was stroking his fingers each by each. Then something strange was on his finger, and Kikwang stopped their kiss to look down.
Junhyung had slipped a ring to his finger.
Kikwang stopped breathing. “Jun-Junnie-“
“Please say yes,” Junhyung mumbled and buried his face in Kikwang’s hair.
The latter felt like someone had just slapped his face, hard, so hard, it was making him numb. Then involuntarily a tear fell on his cheek as he heard Junhyung spoke,
“Please be a Yong.”
Junhyung’s arms around him were strong, and he remembered that he once loved being hugged by those arms, to have Junhyung whispered sweet things to his ears...even to this day. But why...why did Kikwang feel this way? Kikwang glanced to his finger again, to the shiny thing, something that probably a lot of people would kill to have. Someone to live with. Someone to grow old with. How he supposed to feel grateful instead of fear.
Kikwang closed his eyes. He really cared about Junhyung. He cared about him...
Then why, the person that keeps on appearing in your head is not Junnie?
“...yes.”
Why do I feel so much pain?
Junhyung’s eyes widened and he pulled away from Kikwang, hands still on the latter’s waist. “Yes?”
Kikwang caressed Junhyung’s cheek with a thumb softly. “Yes.”
Yes... I’d be a Yong.
Junhyung exhaled, hugged him tightly and talked about his plans for tonight. Kikwang listened to him silently and wiped his tears away. Junhyung looked so happy. He looked up and smiled for the sake of Junhyung.
Kikwang smiled, even though it hurts so much inside.
***
“Don’t worry Doojoonie, I’ll be alright,” Hyunseung screamed to the phone. The music was loud and Hyunseung knew if it wasn’t urgent then Doojoon wouldn’t have called him. But something came up, it was his parents and Doojoon wouldn’t be able to pick him up tonight. “I know, I’ll call you later when I got home. I’ll probably just hail a cab or something. Please say hi to your parents and hopefully they’ll be alright.”
“Oi Hyunseung!”, the other bartender called. “One for your specialty!”
Hyunseung gave him a thumb up. “Doojoon-baby I gotta go. See you tomorrow. I know, I love you too. You helpless lover,” he laughed and disconnected the call. Hyunseung put the phone back into his pocket and started working. “One special is coming up! Sorry for the wait!”
“It’s not the usual DJ?”, one of the customer asked while waiting for her drink.
“Yeah,” his friend replied and Hyunseung immediately gazed to the stage. His friend was right, it wasn’t Junhyung.
“That’s too bad, I came to this club because my friend said his mixings are soooo damn good,” she whined. “Is he going to be here tomorrow?”
“Who knows.”
The girl pouted in disappointment and Hyunseung could feel what she felt.
He was, in a tiny amount, felt disappointed too, because he couldn’t see him for the last time.
***
Junhyung couldn’t sleep.
He sat on a chair with his glasses on, trying to read a book, but it didn’t do any good. Kikwang was on the bed, sleeping soundly, curling under the blanket cutely. Junhyung smiled at the sight, closed the book and put it away. He wondered why he couldn’t sleep. Perhaps it was because usually at this hour he would still be in the crowd of people who’s screaming his name like he was a God.
Junhyung’s eyes lingered to Kikwang’s ring.
To celebrate the occasion, they went out to the movies, had dinner, window shopping and went home hand in hand. Junhyung wouldn’t let go of Kikwang’s hand, even if their palms were sweaty, he would hold Kikwang’s hand so tight that it made the shorter male turned and stared at him questioningly.
I’m not going anywhere, Junnie.
Of course Kikwang wouldn’t. Of course Junhyung wouldn’t let him. But Junhyung just wanted to do that. He just wanted to keep Kikwang close. He just wanted to...
Junhyung glanced at the clock and stood up. After placing a kiss on Kikwang’s cheek, Junhyung grabbed his coat and decided to go out.
***
It was almost four in the morning when Hyunseung’s shift was over.
After changing his uniform and filing his resignation letter, Hyunseung walked outside the club. The security guards raised their brows at him, as if to say ‘where’s your husband?’ and Hyunseung just rolled his eyes. His manager asked him why did he want to quit and Hyunseung just couldn’t bring himself to answer that it was something that he promised Doojoon. The reason why his boyfriend agreed to let him work there in the first place was because Hyunseung had said yes, he would quit when they’d move in together.
Hyunseung still stood outside the club, and he gulped at how scary it would be to walk alone in this night without Doojoon by his side. Maybe he should just call for a cab instead...or he could sleep just for a few hours in the club... Hyunseung was still battling with his inner self when he heard the security guards talked with someone.
“Yo Junhyung-shii, why come here?”
Junhyung? Hyunseung turned his head and held his breath.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Junhyung replied casually. He looked even stunning with the coat, not forgetting to mention at four in the morning. Or Hyunseung must be so sleepy that he’s seeing things. “Everyone home yet?”
“It’s empty.”
“Yeah, Hyunseung’s here the last one.”
Why do you have to say my name and ruin everything? I just want to be able to see him quietly-
Junhyung seemed to acknowledge Hyunseung’s presence and stared at him. “...hey.”
Hyunseung’s heart skipped a beat at the casual greeting. “Hey...”
“Waiting for someone?”
The asked male could only shook his head as an answer. He couldn’t believe that Junhyung-the famous DJ Yong Junhyung-talked to him, and moreover asked him a question. Hyunseung stood dumbly in his track, unable to say or did anything.
“Why? Where’s your...friend?”
“H-he c-couldn’t make it,” Hyunseung stuttered and mentally kicked himself. Relax, stupid Jang Hyunseung.
“Oh,” Junhyung had walked closer and Hyunseung almost stepped back. The former looked around before going back to stare at him. “Taxi, then?”
“I-I think I’ll walk,” Hyunseung quickly replied and bowed. He quickly turned around and walked away, clutching his chest because Hyunseung was scared it might explode any minute. He needed to get away from this charming man who made his heart skipped a beat everytime their eyes met for reasons he didn’t know why.
“Wait!”
Hyunseung stopped walking but he didn’t look back. His heart just wouldn’t stop pounding.
“I’ll walk you home,” Junhyung said and followed his steps. “It’s dangerous for you to walk by yourself in this hour.”
“You-you’re going to-“, Hyunseung turned around, gaped and shook his head. “It’s not necessary. My apartment is not too far from here. I’ll be okay.”
“But still I wanna walk you home.”
“My-my apartment’s cheap-“
Junhyung looked amused. “Oh? At least you pay the bills.”
“And my door creaks!”
Junhyung went blank for a moment before burst out laughing and Hyunseung turned a deep shade of red. The latter looked down to his shoes while the former kept on chuckling to himself. “Well, then let’s fix the door.” Junhyung stepped even closer and Hyunseung, just let him invaded his personal space. “I’m Yong Junhyung.”
“Jang Hyunseung,” he whispered nervously.
“I know,” Junhyung smiled.
Hyunseung’s heart almost stopped working. “You-you know?”
“Yeah. Pretty bartender. They hit on you a lot.”
“Hit on me,” Hyunseung repeated dumbly. “That-that’s not true.”
Junhyung smiled in amusement. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
***
Hyunseung wished he hadn’t done that.
But he did.
He had let Junhyung walked into his apartment.
Hyunseung thought he was just doing it as a token of gratitude, it’s almost dawn and Junhyung’s been walking him home and he couldn’t possibly not offering the taller male a cup of coffee, and Junhyung-who was supposed to say no, thank you and should just go back home-agreed. He said yes, accepting the offer, and now here he was, in Hyunseung’s small, cheap apartment-and the DJ did laugh when he opened the door and it creaked.
He immediately went to the kitchen to make some coffee and to have some time to calm himself.
Calm down, Hyunseung.
But Yong Junhyung’s in your place.
Someone you’ve adored so freaking much.
Hyunseung brought a hand to his chest and sighed. He loved seeing Junhyung on stage. The male was really attractive, and from the bar, he could see the view perfectly. Hyunseung idolized him, and he would never thought things would be like this. To be talking with Junhyung-it’s like a dream comes true. After calming himself, he went back to the living room with a tray and stopped as he saw Junhyung was lying on the carpeted floor, in front of the TV, with a pillow beneath his head. Hyunseung slowly walked to the nearest table and put the tray on it. Maybe he should just leave Junhyung alone...he must be tired too.
All of a sudden, Junhyung opened his eyes and stared at Hyunseung. The latter held his breath.
And Hyunseung thought Yong Junhyung should stop making him running out of breath.
“Come here,” Junhyung gestured and Hyunseung slowly obeyed. He sat beside Junhyung at first, before following the latter and lay his back on the carpeted floor. He moved the pillow so that Hyunseung got a half part for his head. “Despite the creaking door, this place is nice.”
Hyunseung smacked Junhyung playfully and the latter snickered. “...I won’t be living here anymore.”
“Are you moving somewhere?”
“...with my boyfriend.”
“Ah...”, Junhyung put the back of his hand on his forehead. “It’s a big decision.”
“...yeah...”
They fell silent shortly after that and the only thing that could be heard was the ticking sound of the hanging clock.
“I’m quitting, too,” Hyunseung said softly. “I won’t be working anymore in the club.”
“Why?”
“...just because.”
“Don’t,” Junhyung stared at him with pleading eyes. “Please?”
Hyunseung frowned. “Hm? Why?”
“Because then I won’t be able to see the pretty, light brown haired male in the bar making drinks when I’m DJ-ing.”
Hyunseung blinked rapidly before palming his mouth.
“Even though it hurts me a lot to see his boyfriend picked him up every single night.”
Junhyung smiled in pain as he stared at the ceiling.
“But at least I know, and I can be sure, that he’s really taking good care of him.”
Hyunseung gasped and sat up. Junhyung did the same, and he stared at Hyunseung deeply.
“Because his smile’s so precious, everytime he looks to the stage.”
He...knew all along?
“And I love it, I really love it everytime he looks at me while I’m mixing my songs.”
He paid attention to me?
Junhyung licked his lips. “Can I...have a confession to make?”
Junhyung shifted slightly closer and Hyunseung slowly nodded. He now believed something call ‘personal space’ was just something stupid. To have Junhyung this close to him and he didn’t even feel like he wanted to push the male away. No. Instead, Junhyung’s warmth was...somehow comforting.
“I proposed this morning,” Junhyung looked down to his finger and Hyunseung noticed a ring curled on it. “I begged him to say yes...and he did.”
Hyunseung felt a pang in his heart. He wanted to smile, to congratulate him, but he couldn’t. He kept quiet.
“But why...”
Why what...?
“Why...did I think of you when I asked him to marry me?”
Hyunseung completely covered his mouth with both of his hands. His heart was beating so fast, too fast that he didn’t know if it was happiness or shock, or worse, fear. Junhyung looked serious, so serious that it scared Hyunseung.
They only stared at each other before Junhyung finally sighed and stood up. “I’m sorry. I should go home...”
Hyunseung instinctively grabbed Junhyung’s arm. “No...”
Junhyung looked surprised.
“Please, stay...”, Hyunseung bit his lip and looked down. “Just stay...”
And it started everything.
Hyunseung later found himself be kissed by Junhyung hungrily on the bed, hands trailing underneath the former’s shirt, touching the smooth skin. He moaned shyly since Doojoon had never touched him this way before, and never kissed him in a way like Junhyung kissed him just now. It was all new to him, a new delightful sensation, and it was making him dizzy.
If at first Junhyung was a bit agressive, he was starting to slow down.
He was being gentle, so gentle, that he couldn’t remember that if he ever done something like this to Kikwang. Junhyung stripped the male beneath him, and started stroking his length. Hyunseung blushed and his cheeks went crimson shade, biting his lips at first, preventing himself to moan, but giving up in the end.
“Junnie...”
Junhyung’s eyes widened and he gazed down at Hyunseung.
Hyunseung was jerking off under his touch, and it was a beautiful view. Junhyung found himself amazed by the smoothness of the skin, Hyunseung’s skin was like porcelain, and the way he shyly closed his eyes and moaned...it turned Junhyung on even more.
“Ah... J-Junnie...”
Junhyung gulped. He wanted more, and he’d not stop.
He took off his ring before kissing Hyunseung again.
***
When Kikwang woke up, he immediately realized that Junhyung wasn’t home.
Not that he mind though. Junhyung wasn’t home a lot and he’s accustomed to it. Kikwang sat and rubbed his eyes sleepily before glancing outside the window. The sun’s already shining brightly and the birds were chirping happily. He looked down to his finger. A ring was there. Something that showed everyone that he’s now really Junhyung’s.
Maybe it’s not too late to take it back...wait, what are you thinking, Kikwang?
It’s been a few months already.
Junnie really cares about you.
Kikwang stood up and walked to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator to grab something to drink but he found none. Not even a bottle of water. Kikwang frowned and remembered that last night they were too full to think about stocking up some at home. There were only few cans of Cola-Junhyung’s favorite, and he would be out of his mind to drink it in the morning with empty stomach.
After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Kikwang grabbed his jacket and thought he’s gonna get something to the nearest convenient store. After locking the door, he paused as he saw a familiar figure sitting on the floor, with his head buried in his arms, knees to his chest. Hearing the sound of the closed door, the person looked up and Kikwang’s knees were weak and he had to lean on the wall.
Son Dongwoon.
The person who managed to steal his heart from the very first glance. The person who kept on appearing in his mind. The person who made Kikwang hesitated to say yes to Junhyung’s proposal, even though he knew he was being selfish, that they couldn’t be together because he thought he’d never see this person again.
Dongwoon carefully stood up, still distancing himself from Kikwang. He looked tired, but his eyes flickered with something. “Lee Kikwang.”
Kikwang gasped. He almost burst out in tears.
How could someone pronounced his name as beautiful as that?
The taller male smiled soothingly at him. “I finally found you.”
***
Hyunseung jolted awake as his phone rang loudly in his ears. He cursed and was about to throw the poor phone against the wall when he realized it was his boyfriend calling. Hyunseung smacked his forehead and went back to lie on the bed. He forgot about Doojoon completely.
“Doojoonie?”
“Baby! Are you alright? Where are you? Why didn’t you call me? You promised me you would call me as soon as you got home!”
Doojoon kept on asking questions and Hyunseung had to put down the phone for a while because Doojoon’s voice was loud and he sounded really worried. A tinge of guilty surfaced in Hyunseung’s heart, and when he looked down to his naked self, it became even bigger.
“Baby? Baby? Are you there? Hello?”
Hyunseung put the phone back to his ear and cleared his throat. “Yes, Doojoonie...”
“Are you alright?”
Hyunseung smiled a little. Gina was right. Doojoon was really caring. “I’m alright. I’m sorry for not calling you Doojoonie. How’s your Appa?”
Doojoon sighed in defeat. He could never be mad at Hyunseung. His boyfriend was too absorbed in his own world at most times when he’s alone and Doojoon had a tendency to worry too much about him when they’re not together. “He’s alright. I was panic when I took him to the hospital, but thank God it was nothing serious. He just needed rest and shouldn’t work too much.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“...Seungie?”
“Hm?”
“Umma and Appa... They’ve been asking you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” Doojoon shifted his weight to another feet. “I think they...wanted to meet you.”
“Oh...”, Hyunseung trailed off. He grabbed the end of the blanket tightly. Oh no.
“Is it alright if I...arrange us a meeting?”
“Th-that’d be...great,” Hyunseung replied reluctantly.
“Ah,” Doojoon breathed in relief and smiled. “Thank you, baby. It means a lot to me. Well then...I still need to take care of a few things here... See you later?”
“Okay.”
Doojoon hung up and Hyunseung stared at his phone blankly. He quietly tossed the phone onto the bed and glanced around. Hyunseung didn’t hear a sound, Junhyung probably had already left. He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. The male recalled the happening events before he fell asleep and blushed. The thoughts, the images, kept on replaying like a broken video in his head.
Junhyung had made love to him.
And he felt that Junhyung really did it with love.
Hyunseung stood up and clutched his chest in pain. To think that he’s in a relationship with Doojoon and Junhyung’s with someone he knew nothing of. To think that he never even let Doojoon touched him-and the latter never tried to touch him, either. Then why did he give himself so easily?
He put on some clothes and walked to the kitchen. Two empty cups were still there in the sink. Hyunseung touched the cups blankly.
No matter how much Hyunseung wished for it, there’s just no way. He had quit his job, he’s going to move in with Doojoon soon, and he’d-both of them would be happy. But would he, really? The moment he laid his eyes on Junhyung he knew something was sparkling inside, and it grew even bigger than his feelings to Doojoon. He wanted it, and Junhyung wanted it, but they both just couldn’t.
Because both of them belong to another person.
Why couldn’t we met earlier?
It’s just a wishful thinking, and Hyunseung knew he was wrong for thinking it. He shook his head and thought that it’s too late for that. It’s really too late, afterall Junhyung’s getting married, and Doojoon’s parents wanted to meet him...so... He should just forget everything and move on. Yes. It would be the best choice.
Hyunseung’s mind trailed to a book in Doojoon’s store. The books were sold out and Doojoon had to reordered them because the requests for the books were many. He even caught Doojoon read the book once, probably a limited edition one because the cover was different than the others. Hyunseung had read the summary on the back of the cover and he still remembered the words. He remembered the words because it reminded him of a certain someone. Someone who had just left...
He sobbed to his hands as he realized that he’s in love with Junhyung, even though they’re not meant to be.
Because love doesn’t require to be with each other.
Hyunseung understood perfectly that feeling.
End.
Ever since that day, the door had stopped creaking.
Hyunseung wondered if someone had fixed it...
Does anyone want this serie to be extended? *_*