Empty Spaces [2/3]
Title: Empty Spaces [2/3]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: broken!DooSeob
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Six persons. Six fate. One conclusion.
Author’s Note: Unbeta-ed. Please, no translations allowed!
[1]
Yoseob peeked from the door carefully to see his boyfriend.
Dongwoon was typing on his laptop, with his back facing Yoseob. The sound of the typing was heard clearly, and it got Yoseob to smile simply. He always liked to see whenever Dongwoon’s working-he’s so full of emotion and enthusiasm.
Ever since they got back from Japan, Dongwoon had locked himself in his room. Yoseob was used to it, he knew if Dongwoon was inspired by something and he needed to write, he’s gonna have to be alone and have all the room to himself. The taller male would usually come out from his ‘cave’ for lunch or dinner, and then for the rest of the day he’s going back to his work again.
Yoseob was so used to the activities.
He stared at his boyfriend’s back silently, with a hand leaned against the doorframe.
But why, ever since they got back from Japan, he felt a bit...lonely?
Dongwoon was a bit different than usual...or maybe, it’s just Yoseob’s imagination? He didn’t get any hugs or kissess between the break lately... Dongwoon would just dash out from the room, eating in a haste, and then he’d get back to his room, continued working. It’s like he’s ignoring Yoseob.
After being in a relationship for a while, this was the first time Dongwoon being strange. But Yoseob didn’t mind.
It was, afer all, for the sake of his new book.
***
The sun shone brightly and Doojoon smiled as he opened his curtain. He woke up today with a good mood and he hoped it would last. After taking a shower and got dressed, Doojoon stretched his hands and glanced at the clock. It’s almost time to open the store. He slowly went downstairs to the store.
His family owned a book store that had been going for three generations. Now it’s finally his time to manage the store. The place wasn’t so big, but their collections were complete-you could find everything that you couldn’t find at other places. From newspapers to old novels, they were neatly stacked on the bookshelves. Usually at the end of the day, the store would be crowded by high school students who’re looking for mangas or magazines.
He lived upstairs, since his parents had been wanting him to manage the store and he thought it would be a bother if he kept on going back and forth from his house to the place. So Doojoon decided to live there alone, since the space was wide enough for bed, kitchen, bathroom and a living room.
Doojoon was preparing himself to open the store when Hyunseung suddenly appeared and nearly got him a heart attack. “Dammit Seung! You should’ve said something instead of surprising your boyfriend like that!”
“The back door was not locked,” Hyunseung said hurriedly, still panting from all the running.
“That was not what I meant...”, Doojoon tried to explain and sighed. His boyfriend’s just too cute to get growled at in the morning. “Good morning, Yeobo,” he said casually and leaned forward to peck Hyunseung on the cheek. “Now what made you run all the way here?”
“I-I got the job!”, Hyunseung shrieked happily.
Doojoon’s expression went blank. “...what job?”
“The one that I told you earlier! The bartender part-time job at the night club!”
“...you mean, the one I didn’t approve of?”
Hyunseung stopped talking and his eyes went teary. “B-but, Doojoonie...I want, I-I want, I want the job so damn much!”
Doojoon looked pale and rubbed his temple. “Baby, why do you want the job so much? You know that we’re gonna move in together soon. I have enough money for both of us. I just don’t want you to work in such place.”
The younger male bit his lip and twiddled nervously. “I know...but...I feel like if I didn’t try it, then my three years of college majoring in hotel management will be wasted.” Hyunseung bowed and laced his fingers in front of his boyfriend. “Please, Doojoonie... Pretty please? I’ll quit the moment we move in together.”
Doojoon sighed in defeat and Hyunseung still stared at him with pleading eyes. How could he say no to this pretty, lovely brown haired boyfriend of his? He gestured Hyunseung to come closer and pulled him into an embrace. Doojoon closed his eyes as he buried his face on Hyunseung’s hair. “...only if you let me pick you up every night after work.”
Hyunseung gasped loudly and looked up. “Does-does that mean...?”
“And you quit when I tell you too.”
Hyunseung squealed in delight and kissed Doojoon fast in the lips. “Ooh, I love you Yoon Doojoon, I love you so much! Thank you! Thank you babe!”
Doojoon couldn’t help but smiled at his boyfriend’s attitude. He pecked Hyunseung once again before letting the pretty male went out and waved him goodbye.
***
Yoseob rested his chin on his hand, eyes fixed to the TV screen with no interest. He’s bored, and since he had quit his last job because Dongwoon wanted him to, he’s got nothing to do.
He heard Dongwoon was talking on the phone in his room, and Yoseob turned the volume down to listen. He’s just scared Dongwoon’s pissed off or something. That’s just something you couldn’t avoid when you’re a writer. Deadline’s chasing you, and your editor’s screaming at you-Yoseob knew this. But Dongwoon’s only been writing his new book for a few days, surely the deadline can’t be near.
Yoseob got up and went to the room. He slowly opened the door.
“...but it’s a pretty old novel,” Dongwoon said on the phone. “I’m not even sure the book still existed.”
Yoseob tilted his head to a side.
“I’ll try and see what I can find,” Dongwoon turned around and noticed his boyfriend was standing by the door. “Or I’ll search for the references in the internet?”
Yoseob smiled at him and Dongwoon stepped closer to kiss his forehead.
“Let me know if you find anything,” the taller male said and ended the call. He tossed the phone to the nearest couch and touched Yoseob’s cheek. “Hey baby. Sorry, was I too loud?”
“I’m just curious. What did Mir tell you?”
“He just wanted me to read several novels-as references related to my new book. But the titles he mentioned were pretty old...I remembered reading them when I was a kid,” Dongwoon glanced at the note he was scribbling on, on the table.
“You already read adult novels when you were a kid?”, Yoseob rolled his eyes.
Dongwoon laughed and ruffled his hair caringly. “Hey, your boyfriend’s making money now. Adult novels were necessary.”
Yoseob grinned and touched his own hair. “I can try and search the novels for you. I’m free right now.”
Dongwoon’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I mean...they’re gonna be pretty hard to find.”
“Like I said, I’m free. Besides, isn’t it unusual for Mir to tell you this? He would usually show up by the door and bring all the references he could find. And I don’t think for a professional editor like Mir would have difficulties to find the old novels. So maybe he’s too busy right now. And you obviously need to write.”
Dongwoon stared at him in awe. “Wow.”
Yoseob stretched his hand. “Just give me the list.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” Dongwoon breathed.
“Ain’t I ever?”, Yoseob laughed. “Besides, if I’m not around, you’d end up eating instant noodles everyday. So yeah, I am your lifesaver. What do you want for dinner?”
Dongwoon smirked impishly. “You, my dear Hyung.”
The taller male got a smack as a reply.
***
It’s been a few days but all the bookstores that Yoseob visited got none of the books that Dongwoon needed. Either they’ve never heard of the titles before, or because the books were old and they’re not gonna be republished. Yoseob’s been coming home empty handed but Dongwoon never protested, it’s not like he needed the books so badly-he only needed them as references. But Yoseob stubbornly wanted to look for them, because...just because, he wanted to help his boyfriend.
Dongwoon had told him to stop looking, and Yoseob only crossed his fingers behind his back.
The next day, Yoseob tried again, this time he went to an international bookstore. As he entered the place, he was soon greeted by various foreign books, with languages he never knew before. Yoseob looked around for a while before going to the counter and faced a blond haired male.
He smiled kindly and Yoseob read his name tag. Seungho. “How can I help you?”
“Um...I wonder if you still have all of these books,” Yoseob replied and showed him the paper. Seungho received it and frowned as he read the titles and gave it back to Yoseob.
“They are old novels.”
Yoseob’s face brightened. “Yes! I mean, I know. But I need them. Do you have them?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
Yoseob looked down immediately and sighed. “I see. Thank you for your time, then.”
“But I do have a friend who may still have them.”
Seungho was searching for a piece of paper so he didn’t realize that Yoseob almost burst in tears happily. “His name is...Yoon Doojoon. You know the small bookstore across the station? They usually sell mangas and magazines, too. Just look around the corner and you won’t miss it.”
Yoseob looked so grateful and he repeatedly bowed to Seungho. “Thank you, Hyung. Thank you.”
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Seungho said with a smile.
***
Dongwoon absentmindedly typed in his laptop. When he told Mir that he got a new idea for his book, Mir was also excited and he encouraged the taller male to write immediately. He asked Dongwoon what’s the title-he hadn’t decided yet at that time-and what’s the main character’s name gonna be.
Without thinking, Dongwoon replied, “Lee.”
Mir blinked for a moment before repeating it. “Lee...?”
He figured he’s gonna use Lee as the family name and surely it won’t sound so suspicious since the name was pretty common in Korea. And Yoseob didn’t get to meet Kikwang when they’re in Japan so he’s sure...that his boyfriend wouldn’t know about the name. And that it was related to the male.
Dongwoon kept on typing and typing and stopped as he realized he was typing “Kikwang.”
He stunned for a moment before pressing the backspace and completely erasing the word. “Stupid typo,” Dongwoon mumbled to himself.
Was it really?
Dongwoon heaved loudly and leaned his back against his chair.
Come to think of it, it’s been a few weeks. He had already left Japan, and he thought the memories should stay in Japan, but he couldn’t. The fact was that Dongwoon let the memories overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t help but feeling painful everytime he remembered.
It was just a one time moment.
You should forget about him, Dongwoon.
Continue with your life. Finish your book.
Dongwoon clutched his chest and pressed a hand on his forehead.
But how? How could he continue, when Kikwang was the whole reason he started writing this time?
***
It was late when Yoseob arrived at the bookstore. The store was pretty far away from the last place he dropped by-where Seungho worked. Yoseob ran as fast as he could to the store and helplessly reached his hand to the door. He managed to slap his hand to the glass door.
Doojoon was shocked and he nearly screamed, but then he got a hold of himself, and found himself lost in the eye of the short male who’s standing in front of the door. He blinked. The male was panting heavily.
“Yoon...Doojoon...ssi?”
“Yes?”
“I,” Yoseob stopped to take a breath. “Someone named Seungho told me about your store...”
“Seungho-hyung?”, Doojoon looked surprised for the second time. “...what did he tell you?”
“I’m looking for these books,” Yoseob held up a rusty paper. It seemed like a lot of people had touched it, the paper looked so used. “I was hoping you could help me...since your store was so far away...no, I mean, since...since Seungho had told me you might have them. I’m-I’m sorry for bothering...”
Doojoon thought for a while before opening the door. “Come on in. I’m closing anyway. Let’s make you my last customer for today.”
Yoseob beamed. “Thank you! Oh, thank you so much Doojoon-ssi!”
Doojoon stepped aside and let Yoseob walked in. He inhaled a nice scent as the male passed by. Doojoon locked the door and flipped the sign, it’s now blinking ‘closed’. Doojoon found himself staring a little too long at the shorter male and when he realized, he looked away in shame.
“So, what was the title again?”
“Ah,” Yoseob handed him the paper. “It seemed like all of them are old novels.”
Doojoon stared at the writings for a while before nodding. “And you need them for...?”
Yoseob smiled sheepishly. “My boyfriend’s a writer and he needs them for references...”
“A writer?”, Doojoon gave the paper back to Yoseob. “And what exactly is he writing now?”
“...I have no idea.”
Doojoon only stared before walking away. “Come with me. The store’s not that big, but suit yourself.”
“It’s comfortable.”
“Thanks,” Doojoon smiled and Yoseob felt a hammer was pounded on his chest. “This aisle, that shelf,” the taller male pointed at the end of the room. “The books you need should be there. I’ll clean up the store for a bit and then I’ll come help you, alright?”
“Thank you.”
Yoseob walked to the said place and their hands met in the slightest touch. Doojoon stunned and he looked back. Yoseob was walking slowly, glancing around to look for specific titles. Doojoon only stared and stared, until he remembered that he got work to do. He glanced at his watch, and he still got plenty of time before picking up Hyunseung.
Doojoon got back to his counter and started counting today’s payments.
Yoseob glanced around in awe. The store was not big, indeed, but the collections were awesome. He should bring Dongwoon here sometimes-the latter would be happy to see these much of old novels. Few of them might be his favourites. His finger trailed on the book one by one, his lips moved as he read the titles, and it turned to a smile as Yoseob found them-all of them. All the books for Dongwoon’s references.
He sighed in relief and sat on the carpeted floor. Yoseob’s mind lingered to the question Doojoon had asked him.
What exactly is he writing now?
Yoseob didn’t know.
To think that it’s a bit strange because Dongwoon had always, always told him everything. He would jump at Yoseob and exclaimed that he had new ideas-and he would ask for Yoseob’s opinion. Instead, this time Dongwoon shared everything to Mir first-and he didn’t even ask what Yoseob thought about that. It saddened Yoseob, somehow. Dongwoon...had changed. Or, he asked himself once again, was it just his feeling?
Yoseob dusted the books and he sneezed. He laughed softly and rubbed his nose. Doojoon seemed to forget about cleaning this side-maybe because there’s not many people who came to this aisle. Yoseob brought the books to his chest.
Doojoon.
It might seemed stupid, but Yoseob was actually embarassed the moment he pressed his hand desperately to the glass door like that. And Doojoon’s expression-he might have laughed out loud if they were in a normal situation. He knew he could go back the next day, but the moment he saw the black haired male, Yoseob just wanted to...
...talk.
Talk?
Yoseob shook his head roughly and cleared his throat. He should just pay for the books and go home. Dongwoon might be hungry. He briefly read the summary of the books on the back cover, and Yoseob held his breath.
The books had the same theme. They were all about...being unfaithful. Or unrequited love.
The first one was about a woman who’s married to a man, but she didn’t love him at all. The second one was about a woman who fell in love with her best friend, but she got a marriage coming up, set by her parents. And the third. And the fourth.
Yoseob brought a hand to his mouth. Dongwoonie?
He opened one of the book and flipped the pages. As he read the story quickly, his eyes got even wider page per page. Yoseob harshly turned the next page, and the next, and the next one, he didn’t even care about the pain that’s burning his hand, until someone grabbed his wrist firmly and he stopped.
“Hey, are you alright?”
Doojoon stared at him worriedly and he grabbed both of Yoseob’s hands. He looked down and cursed. “Oh shit, you got a papercut. You should be more careful. The books may be old, but the paper-it’ll hurt you if you kept on flipping them over like that.”
Yoseob didn’t say a word, he kept on looking down to the books. All of a sudden, he stood up abruptly. “I-I should go home.” He walked past Doojoon with a hand covering his mouth.
Doojoon noticed that he had left the books scattered on the floor, but that’s not the point. “Hey, wait!”
Yoseob stopped but he didn’t look back. He needed to calm down.
“My room’s up there,” Doojoon said quietly. “Do you...wanna have a cup of coffee or something?”
Yoseob slowly looked over his shoulder and melted right into Doojoon’s eyes. Should he? They’ve just met, he’s a customer and Doojoon’s the owner. Yoseob’s feelings were blending right now, he didn’t know what he felt anymore-or even what to do. And he thought he must be crazy...
...when he nodded.
***
Doojoon ran out of coffee, so he made Yoseob a hot chocolate instead.
Yoseob stared at the mug for a while before gulping it. “It’s...warm... This is really good.”
“My specialty,” Doojoon said smugly and Yoseob almost laughed. “If my parents didn’t tell me to continue managing the store, I’ll be a bartender-or even better, a barista, somewhere in Seoul, starting my own cafe.”
“What major did you take?”
“...hotel management.”
“I see,” Yoseob felt something sting on his finger and he instinctively sucked it. It was the papercut. His finger had stopped bleeding but the pain was still there.
Doojoon’s eyes widened. “The papercut! I completely forgot about it! Wait, I think I have band-aids here somewhere...”
Yoseob’s lips slowly turned into a smile as he saw Doojoon walked around in the kitchen, looking for his first aid kit. He got up and walked to Doojoon’s bed, his curiousity grew, he’s been wanting to see the picture on the nightstand. Yoseob’s smile vanished as he saw Doojoon with another male-an orange haired male with a pretty smile-with his arms around him protectively, and he felt somewhat jealous.
“I found it.”
He was surprised to hear Doojoon near him and turned around. Doojoon was standing close to him-too close, in fact, it was starting to make Yoseob’s heart pounding so bad. Yoseob took a step back and Doojoon stepped forward.
Doojoon suddenly stopped. “I think you should go home,” he said softly. “He might be looking for you.”
Yoseob looked away. “He’s busy with his book. He won’t even notice I’m gone.”
Doojoon grabbed Yoseob’s hand and observed closely at the wound. “It should’ve been washed first, but...there. At least it’s covered. Make sure you wash it by the time you get home.”
Yoseob looked at his bandaged finger. He smiled and when he looked up, he realized Doojoon was still there. Yoseob gulped as Doojoon suddenly caressed his cheek with a thumb and with trembling knees, he sat on the bed, and Doojoon leaned forward. Their lips were inches apart.
“May I...?”, Doojoon whispered.
Yoseob couldn’t open his mouth to answer properly and he only closed his eyes.
And the next second, Doojoon’s lips were on his.
Yoseob gasped softly as Doojoon pushed him gently on the bed, this time he was completely on his back. Doojoon’s hand was on Yoseob’s sides and a finger was trailing on his face. Yoseob shuddered and Doojoon stopped.
They both stared at each other.
But it felt so right.
Yoseob wrapped his arms around Doojoon’s shoulders, pulling him closer, and Doojoon kissed him again, this time using his tongue and deepening the kiss. Yoseob didn’t know what he felt anymore, his feelings were mixing, all of them were blending and they were creating something...something new, something strange... To have Doojoon’s arms around him, just like the one he did with the pretty male in the picture, Yoseob felt really secure, he felt like he was being protected. Just like...Dongwoon?
And Doojoon’s lips...God...
Doojoon wanted to stop, but he couldn’t. There’s just something about the boy that made him feel...different. He couldn’t even stop as he heard Yoseob grunted softly as their tongues met, and Yoseob’s hands were on his arms tightly, holding on to him, just like-just like...Hyunseung? Doojoon broke the kiss and started sucking Yoseob’s neck-and the latter cried a bit when he did that.
Don’t stop.
Yoseob moaned a bit louder as Doojoon’s hand was starting to slide underneath his shirt.
I can’t stop.
And everything seemed to stop moving as Yoseob’s phone rang loudly in the quiet room.
Doojoon pulled away from the bed immediately, and Yoseob quickly sat up and reached for his phone.
“Yes,” Yoseob breathed.
“Seobie? Where the hell are you?”
The room was silent, too silent, Doojoon could even hear the voice on Yoseob’s phone. It was clearly a male.
“Dongwoonie?”, Yoseob whispered and touched his forehead.
“Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m... I’m fine. I’m... I’m going home.”
“Where the hell are you? I’ll come and pick you up!”
“I’m-I’m heading back to the train station. I’ll meet you there?”
“Be there in ten.”
Yoseob hung up and he brought his hands to his face and sighed deeply. Dongwoonie.
Doojoon would be lying if he said he’s not disappointed, but at the same time, he also felt relieved because if the phone hadn’t rang, he didn’t know how far he’d done to Yoseob. He almost couldn’t control himself. “Your boyfriend’s worried about you. You should go back,” he spoke softly.
Yoseob looked up and stared at Doojoon. “I’m-I’m sorry.”
Why are you apologizing?
Yoseob got up from the bed and he stopped in front of Doojoon. He gave him a longing look before heading to the stairs. Just as he was about to pass him by, Doojoon grabbed his shoulder and hugged him from behind. Yoseob stunned, but he did nothing. Instead he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, as Doojoon softly kissed the back of his neck.
I never knew such thing exist.
Doojoon entwined their fingers together.
Such thing...at first sight.
“Hey...”, Doojoon said. “I never knew your name...”
Doojoon let him go slowly and Yoseob turned around, still with his hand in Doojoon’s. Yoseob leaned closer and kissed Doojoon softly before slowly but sure, letting go of Doojoon’s hand.
“Yang Yoseob...”
And this time, Yoseob was really gone.
***
When Yoseob arrived at the station, Dongwoon was already waiting.
Dongwoon looked so grateful as he saw his boyfriend appearing and reached out to him. “Seobie,” he muttered and hugged him tight. “Oh Gosh, I’m so thankful... I was so worried...”
Yoseob let himself be hugged and closed his eyes. The feeling was different. But he couldn’t lie to himself that he missed...this scent even more. “Dongwoonie... I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the books you needed.”
“You went all the way to... Oh my goodness, what if something happens to you? Don’t you ever, ever do that again!”
“I’m sorry,” Yoseob said again and stared at Dongwoon. He really looked so worried, and somehow Yoseob felt grateful. He smiled comfortingly and grabbed Dongwoon’s hand. “Let’s go home.”
Dongwoon sighed. He smiled back and patted Yoseob’s head. “Yeah...let’s go home.” He wrapped an arm around Yoseob protectively and walked away. "What should we buy for dinner?"
Unknown to them, someone was watching.
Doojoon had followed Yoseob in a safe distance. He stared at both of them from afar and even though he felt something was burning inside, he smiled. He turned around and went to the opposite direction, to a famous night club. Doojoon walked slowly, as if to clear his head with the cold weather before finally meeting his lover.
When he got there, Doojoon waited for a moment outside, hands in his pockets, sometimes glancing at his watch. The guards outside the club threw him a smile, as if to greet him, and Doojoon smiled back. It’s been his routinity for the past few weeks, so they recognized who he was, even though he never entered the club.
A pretty, brown haired male stepped outside the club and he looked ecstatic as he saw Doojoon.
“Doojoonie!”
Doojoon smiled as Hyunseung approached him. “Hey babe. How’s it going?”
“The DJ is soooo cool! I can work here forever if he’s gonna play every night,” Hyunseung said happily and Doojoon noticed he trembled a bit due to the cold weather.
Doojoon frowned. “I thought I told you to wear thicker jacket.”
“This is my thickest jacket,” Hyunseung said sheepishly. “Nah. It’s still at the laundry, I forgot to take them. Don’t be maaad, Doojoonie.”
Doojoon sighed and took off his coat before putting it on on Hyunseung. “What would you do without me? Now let’s get you home.”
Hyunseung grinned and leaned against Doojoon’s arm. They walked in a comfortable silence before Doojoon spoke up.
“Seungie.”
“Hm?”
“Move in with me next week.”
Hyunseung’s eyes widened in surprise.
***
A few months later, Doojoon got a package.
It was odd, considering he just got a huge amount of packages-books, there’s a new novel recently and everyone was asking for it-the novel even got sold out in three days. So Doojoon had to reorder them again, but he didn’t remember ordering anything else. It’s probably for Hyunseung, but as he flipped the box repeatedly, it was clear that it’s his name.
Yoon Doojoon.
Doojoon unwrapped the package.
It was the same book that he had reordered. A book by a Son Dongwoon.
Doojoon frowned but opened the book anyway. He almost stopped breathing at the first page. Someone had written on it with a pen.
Yang Yoseob.
The person who showed up suddenly in his life and disappeared as soon as he came. The person, whom he just met, but already gave him something special, a spark in his heart. The person...who filled the tiny, empty space in his heart.
Doojoon never got to read the book. Even though it was best seller, but he just never read it. He flipped the book with no interest and read the summary on the back cover. As he read the sentence, it slowly made sense about why Yoseob was looking for the old novels as references. And then he read the final sentence of the summary:
Because love doesn’t require to be with each other.
Doojoon hated the sentence.
[3]