Story Of Us [3/?]
Title: Story Of Us [3/?]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Kikwang’s in the fourth phase of a relationship. Friends. Dating. Engaged. Marriage.
[2]
***
Kikwang stopped by at a coffeeshop to grab himself a cup of something hot to relieve the stress. He rarely drinks coffee, but he just needs his caffein dose right now. His phone wouldn’t stop ringing and he decided to stop answering it. It’ll never stop ringing unless he was already arrived on time to his mother-in-law’s house.
To be honest, Kikwang tried to say no. He tried telling her that his laundry was piling and they need to be done. However Dongwoon’s mother let out a gasp and told him that he’s a Son. She’s gonna send someone to do the laundry and dishes and even everything. All he needed to go was to get his ass over there quick. Of course she didn’t say it that way, but if it’s gonna be translated, then yeah, it’s that way.
As soon as the maid showed up in front of his apartment, Kikwang hesitated for a moment. She bowed at him and introduced herself as Naeun. Even in a glance Kikwang could tell that the maid is pretty. A high class maid. Holy fuck, now even the maid has qualifications? Not just son or daughter in law?
Naeun started working and she was giving Kikwang a look.
Kikwang blinked and held up both of his hands. “I’m...I’m going then. Will you be alright by yourself?”
“I’m not a thief, if that’s what you’re trying to say, Mr. Son. I was trained to be an honest and truthful maid by Mrs. Son herself,” she stopped working and stared at Kikwang from head to toe. Her gaze was judging and as she turned back to work, Kikwang could hear she slightly muttered,
“No wonder Mrs. Son prefer Mir.”
Kikwang couldn’t help but feeling hurt by her mean words. She kept her back on him, and Kikwang sighed inwardly. He’s not sure if he’s going to like the girl. And suddenly his phone rang, and his eyes widened as he stared at the screen. “Y-yes, Umma. Yes, Naeun is here. Yes, I’ll be there in a second... I know, it’s my fault, Umma. I was talking to her and...”
But Dongwoon’s mother just wouldn’t be patient enough.
“It’s not nice to make Gina wait!”, she scolded him.
What else should I learn this time?
And when he hung up, five minutes later, she called again. He picked up, the conversation ended, in another five minutes she called again, wondering what took him so long. That’s when Kikwang decided to grab his coffee and ignored her calls.
“One medium sized Mocha Frappuccino, please.”
Kikwang had lost count. It was probably the third time she called. Though his phone was in the pocket of his jeans, but the sound was shrill. The person behind him poked and stared at him weirdly.
“Dude. Your phone. Ringing.”
Kikwang smiled apologetically and even if he didn’t want to, he had to take it. “Ye-“ He didn’t even have to wait long to realize that she already hung up the phone. Kikwang almost cried in frustration and put his phone away. “Excuse me.”
“Yes?”
“Make that large sized, please.”
***
Mrs. Son gave Kikwang a look as she saw him having a cup of coffee on his hand. “You were late because of coffee? And...a cheap one, too.”
Kikwang blushed and looked down. He wished he had the courage to tell her that it was Dongwoon’s favourite coffee. "I'm sorry, Umma..."
“I’m late for my appointment. I wish you won’t disappoint me anymore and be on time next time, Kikwang.”
Kikwang nodded, feeling ashamed but couldn’t help but feeling glad as she took off. He turned to Gina. “Gina Noona. I’m sorry for making you wait.”
“It’s fine. I wasn’t that early anyway,” she gave Kikwang a comforting smile. “But...are you okay?”
“Eh? Am I okay?”, Kikwang looked confused.
“You know...she treated you...bad. I mean, she was mean to you.”
“Oh...”, Kikwang put down his coffee on the table and smiled sadly. “I’m okay...”
She’s just disappointed because I couldn’t be like Mir. Because I’m not elegant, I’m not high class and I’m not from a rich family.
Gina looked concerned, but Kikwang flashed her his perfect smile.
“So, what are we going to learn today?”
“Ah...this.”
Kikwang’s eyes widened as Gina pointed at the grand piano in the room. “Th-this...?” He wished Gina pointed to the roses on the piano. He’d prefer ikebana or learning flowers arranging or something. Please, please let it be-
“I’m going to teach you how to play piano.”
FLOWERS ARRANGING LESSON!
“Pi-pi-piano-“, Kikwang stuttered.
Gina stared at him sympathetically. “I know. But Mrs. Son wanted you to learn it. He said Mir could play piano and violin.”
Kikwang looked taken aback at the mention of the name. Mir. “But, Noona...I’m really not talented... I prefer singing! Playing instruments are...not...my specialty. Please, Noona, anything but that, please.”
“I wish I could...but Mrs. Son...,” Gina looked troubled herself and she bit her nail. “Dongwoon could play, right? Maybe he could help you practice?”
He and Dongwoon didn’t talk too much lately and the thought bugged Kikwang. “Woonie...uh...he’s busy...”
Gina tried to think of other options, but she came up with no solution. “Hmm... Let’s just try, okay? You’re a fast learner, I’m sure you can do it. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you everything.”
Kikwang sighed in defeat and smiled. Oh well, who knows? Maybe he got hidden talent.
***
Kikwang was stupid and he knew it.
He’s just not gifted in the instruments department, let alone a piano.
Despite the fact that Gina was nice and really patient at teaching him, Kikwang felt helpless. He was having a hard time remembering the pitch, the chord, the key, all that stuffs. And then there was staccato, legato, and etc etc... Gina told him tomorrow’s off, so he’ll have one day to practice.
But Kikwang didn’t want to practice.
He walked home tiredly and glanced at the watch. It was late, Dongwoon’s gonna be home in a while and he still hadn’t prepared dinner. Kikwang opened the door, thinking that Naeun might’ve gone back to the Son’s house, but there she was, just finishing arranging the foods on the table. It smelled delicious, and Kikwang heard his stomach grumbling.
Naeun turned at him with a blank expression.
“You cooked all these?”, Kikwang smiled and tried to start a conversation, but she just nodded coldly at him. “Wow...They look good.”
“I’m home,” Dongwoon said as he closed the door.
“Welcome home,” both Kikwang and Naeun said in unison. Kikwang blinked at the maid. Did she just greet his husband? In-in a warm tone?
“Naeun? Why are you here?”
“To take care of you, Dongwoon Oppa,” she smiled warmly at Dongwoon.
Kikwang’s eyes widened. A-a maid just called his husband Oppa? Not giving a damn about the status?
“I have Kikwang to take care of me,” Dongwoon replied with a smile. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“No, it’s not necessary, Oppa, I will use a taxi. Dongwoon Oppa and husband should eat dinner rightaway.”
Dongwoon Oppa and husband. Kikwang wondered if his name was blacklisted. Even Mrs. Son didn’t say his name that often.
“Thank you, Naeun,” Dongwoon nodded at her and she bowed at the two of them-more like to Dongwoon, though, ignoring Kikwang’s presence-and went out. He turned to Kikwang and they only stared at each other. Ever since their fight-their first fight as a marriage couple, Dongwoon was being less talkative and possessive. To make things worse, Dongwoon didn’t even hug Kikwang in his sleep anymore. It was just a few days but to Kikwang, it seemed like forever. He missed Dongwoon’s arms...
After having dinner-and Naeun’s cooking was even better than his-Dongwoon took a shower while Kikwang was already under the blanket, sleeping. He was just pretending to sleep, though. As Kikwang felt the bed was getting heavier, as Dongwoon climbed up to their bed and positioned himself beside the pretty male, Kikwang couldn’t help but feeling lonely.
He wanted to cry, he wanted to spill everything out in his heart, because-because Dongwoon is his husband, right?
Kikwang remembered when Dongwoon snapped for not telling him.
But, deep down inside, Kikwang thought, because Dongwoon is his husband, he didn’t want to burden Dongwoon. He knew Dongwoon was already busy with his work, and right now he’s got an upcoming project-another big one, and he didn’t want Dongwoon to think of unimportant things like, like, perhaps, his problems with his mother.
He’s just afraid that if he told Dongwoon, Dongwoon would be mad at him, because it’s his mother, the person who gave birth to him, the person he respected the most. Kikwang was afraid Dongwoon would think of it as something childish, mattering over something like that. He realized the fact that when you get married with someone, you marry his/her family too. Kikwang’s mother told him over and over again when they got separated before the wedding day, everyday, and she’s not bored repeating it. That’s why he tried his best not to whine.
Sometimes, when Kikwang’s mother called him, he’d fake a cheerful smile and tell her everything’s okay.
That he’s happy.
While it is not okay afterall.
While he’s not happy-not about Dongwoon, though.
Kikwang looked over his shoulder, Dongwoon was sleeping with his back on him. He slowly turned around and stared longingly at Dongwoon’s back. He missed to be hugged. He missed Dongwoon’s touch. He missed...he missed everything about this man. Kikwang reached Dongwoon’s back slightly and stopped, scared that the taller male might wake up.
Dongwoon didn’t move.
“I love you,” Kikwang whispered and grabbed the end of Dongwoon’s shirt slightly. He moved closer, but he did nothing. Kikwang sobbed quietly to his other hand, trying his best not to flinch too much. But his shoulders were shaking and his grip on Dongwoon’s shirt tightened. “Woonie...”
Dongwoon waited, but Kikwang said nothing more. He could feel Kikwang sobbed quietly, and God, he wanted to turn around, he wanted to hug Kikwang, to kiss him, to let him know that he’s all ears, but Dongwoon prevent himself. He wanted Kikwang to tell him first. He was tired of Kikwang holding everything to himself, keeping everything inside. If that’s what he did, then what was Dongwoon to him? Someone who provides him money? A place to live? A mere husband?
He waited, and waited, but Kikwang kept quiet.
Dongwoon could just silently mouthed I love you too. He didn’t sleep that night, he stayed awake just to hear Kikwang’s sobbing.
***
When Kikwang woke up, Dongwoon’s already gone. Something that had became routinity lately.
Kikwang was tired, too tired from everything that he couldn’t manage to wake up earlier in the morning and preparing everything for Dongwoon anymore. Not that the taller male protested, though.
Since their apartment was already clean-thanks to Naeun-and he should only think of what to cook for lunch and dinner, he opened the piano and started playing the notes. His playing was still awkward and stiff, like a five year old’s playing. Kikwang’s mind drifted to both Gina and Dongwoon’s fingers, they were slender and long, unlike his. It was clear that they were talented, and he’s not.
But it’s not that he didn’t practice.
He tried his best, and he still got complained about it.
Gina was amazed at Kikwang, and she truthfully complimented him. That it takes time, that there’s no way he could master it all in a few days. But Mrs. Son wanted otherwise. Turns out that there’s gonna be an event soon, and it was tradition to have the in laws to play instruments. Narsha was able to play the piano beautifully-she learned it since she was little, there’s no doubt about it. And this time it’s Kikwang’s turn.
Kikwang mentally facepalmed. Why are there so many family events? He could never be perfect.
Kikwang told her that she should just have Narsha noona to play like last year, and Mrs. Son replied sarcastically that most of the family requested Kikwang-they who had seen him at the family ball few months ago.
He practiced, practiced and practiced, but Mrs. Son still gave him that accusing look. Kikwang felt hurt.
Dongwoon came home that night only to find Kikwang sobbed quietly in the kitchen. He stopped, cursing himself, also feeling hurt at the sight, but at the same time, feeling useless. Kikwang would never come to him anyway. Kikwang preferred to hurt his own heart without sharing with Dongwoon. Dongwoon listened to his husband’s crying silently.
He cleared his throat and Kikwang flinched. Dongwoon walked into the kitchen and Kikwang quickly wiped his tears away. It was useless, of course. But Dongwoon was just testing.
“You’re home,” Kikwang forced a smile with a croaked voice.
“Yeah...”, Dongwoon glanced at him, fully obvious to the tears. But he said nothing. He waited. Dongwoon waited...but Kikwang kept silent and busied himself with the dishes.
Kiki...when are you gonna open up to me?
***
“You played ugly,” Mrs. Son shook her head and stared at Kikwang in disbelief.
“He’s improving, to be honest,” Gina tried to defend Kikwang but received a glare from Mrs. Son. She sank back to her seat.
“Not enough to perform in front of the whole family. I’m so disappointed in you, Kikwang. Have you not been practicing?”
Kikwang looked down. Honestly, just like Gina said, he really thought he was improving. His legato was smooth, his notes were right, and you can’t possibly expect a new Mozart was born within a week, right? Kikwang decided to stay silent.
“I’m going to call Mir.”
Kikwang looked up at Mrs. Son, eyes widened. But...but he’s not even a family...
“If it’s Mir, I’m not worried. Everyone loves him and already think of him as a part of the family. If it’s him, it’s perfect.”
And I’m not...perfect?
“Oh, and it’s okay if you don’t come,” Mrs. Son told him as she speed dialed a number on her phone and Gina glared at her. She ignored it and smiled at her screen. “Mir, darling?”
Gina rolled her eyes and let out a curse. “I bet she was planning to have Mir perform since the first time.”
Kikwang was speechless, he couldn’t say anything. The words she just said felt like a hard slap to his face. He feels like he’s never wanted in the first place. That he doesn’t belong there. Kikwang stood up, gathered his things and closed his eyes tiredly. “I...I think I’m going home. Dinner for Dongwoon...”
“Do you want me to accompany you?”
“It’s okay, Noona... I’ll be alright by myself.”
Gina looked worried but she nodded slowly. “Be careful, Kikwang-ah.”
Then he just dashed from the house. At first he dashed, but as he got farther he started to slow down. His mind was thinking. But honestly, Kikwang couldn’t think right now. All he could think that he was hurt. He felt like...she treated him like he got no pride. She was...mean, just like Gina said. Kikwang thought he could survive. He’d do anything to make Mrs. Son likes him. But now, he felt hopeless.
Kikwang was really blank that he decided to order takeouts for dinner. He bumped on to several people on his way home, and he didn’t even apologize. His mind was someplace else, someplace...he couldn’t reach. Kikwang arrived at their apartment and absent mindedly putting the food on the dining table. He sat on his chair, still blank of what to do and startled at the sound of the door.
His eyes met Dongwoon’s.
“Welcome home,” Kikwang whispered. He tried to be his usual self, but it was obvious that sadness was all over his face.
Dongwoon frowned at his tone. “Kwangie?”
“I...I didn’t cook for dinner. I hope takeouts fine...”, Kikwang said in a low voice.
Dongwoon stepped closer. “It’s fine.”
“D-dinner or shower first?”, Kikwang was stuttering. He almost lost it.
Dongwoon stared at Kikwang sternly. “Baby...is everything okay?”
“I-I’m...”
Don’t lie to me. Come on, Kiki, don’t lie to me.
Kikwang looked down to his hands, fingers entwining nervously.
Dongwoon waited for a moment before sighing. “I’m taking a shower.” He turned around, shaking his head and was about to head for their bedroom when Kikwang called his name.
“Woonie?”
Dongwoon looked over his shoulder. Kikwang brought a hand to his mouth. Again, Dongwoon waited. “Yes, baby?”
“I...”
Come on.
“I just...”
Say it.
“I...”
Fuck, Kikwang, what am I to you?
Kikwang’s eyes widened at the words. Dongwoon had said it out loud.
“Woonie...am I worth it?”
Dongwoon couldn’t believe what Kikwang just said. “...what?”
“Am I...not worth to be your husband, Woonie?”, a tear fell to Kikwang’s cheek as he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “Because I’m not...Mir?”
Then suddenly, everything makes sense to Dongwoon. This time, Kikwang cried in front of Dongwoon, sobbing like a helpless child. He didn’t cry silently like before, he let it all out. And Dongwoon was angry. He made a promise to himself that he’s not gonna let Kikwang cry anymore, but why is it impossible? Why they would still hurt Kikwang, even after knowing Kikwang is his happiness?
“Is it because...I’m not rich? I’m not...high class? I’m not...elegant?”
Dongwoon hugged the crying male in his arms, giving him the feeling of safe and secure, and Kikwang leaned in to the touch.
He needs Dongwoon. He just needs Dongwoon in his life.
“Just let it out,” Dongwoon held Kikwang so close, not giving any space left between them. Kikwang buried his head on his husband’s chest, still sobbing softly. He kept on rambling quietly about everything that’s been bothering him. Dongwoon even felt angrier hearing it, he gritted his teeth.
Kikwang was starting to get calm and that’s when Dongwoon just wanted him to forget all the pain. He leaned down and kissed those full lips softly. Kikwang moaned and closed his eyes, his tears were starting to dry.
They say, the sex after your first fight in the marriage was the sweetest thing ever.
Kikwang even felt Dongwoon’s lips on his as the sweetest thing ever. His kisses were...demanding, claiming, yet...so loving. Kikwang could never run out of love for Dongwoon. And not even for a moment Dongwoon let his lips apart from Kikwang. His hands were tracing all over Kikwang’s body, touching the sensitive spots that only he knew. For a moment, Kikwang forgot all the pain and shivered at the pleasure Dongwoon gave him.
When they touched, he could feel Dongwoon’s sweet kisses and comforting words. He could feel Dongwoon wrapped his arms around Kikwang to let him know that he’s protecting him. He could feel Dongwoon enlacing their fingers together as if to say that everything’s will be alright. When Dongwoon was inside him, Kikwang could feel that he was doing it gently-passionately, with love.
And when Kikwang cried Dongwoon’s name and the latter claimed the lips that’s been screaming his name, Kikwang knew, he could feel, and he realized...
...that he’s worth it.
***
Kikwang woke up with a dizzy feeling. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. Dongwoon was nowhere to be found. He sleepily glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon, Dongwoon must’ve been in the office already. He sighed. Kikwang remembered vaguely that he cried last night...was it a dream?
He looked down, not a single cloth was on his body. He blushed and touched his cheeks with both of his hands. Oh...I still could feel Dongwoon inside of me... It wasn’t a dream afterall...
“Thank you.”
Kikwang blinked as Dongwoon emerged in front of him. “B-baby? You’re not working?”
Dongwoon pressed the end button on his phone and threw it on the bed casually. He chose not to answer the question Kikwang addressed to him. “We’re going to Japan.”
“Eh? J-Japan?”
“Yes. And we’re going tomorrow morning. I just called to have your passport checked.”
“But-“, Kikwang was confused. “Why so sudden, Woonie?”
Dongwoon stared at Kikwang seriously.
“I’m leaving my family to live with you.”
[4]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Kikwang’s in the fourth phase of a relationship. Friends. Dating. Engaged. Marriage.
[2]
***
Kikwang stopped by at a coffeeshop to grab himself a cup of something hot to relieve the stress. He rarely drinks coffee, but he just needs his caffein dose right now. His phone wouldn’t stop ringing and he decided to stop answering it. It’ll never stop ringing unless he was already arrived on time to his mother-in-law’s house.
To be honest, Kikwang tried to say no. He tried telling her that his laundry was piling and they need to be done. However Dongwoon’s mother let out a gasp and told him that he’s a Son. She’s gonna send someone to do the laundry and dishes and even everything. All he needed to go was to get his ass over there quick. Of course she didn’t say it that way, but if it’s gonna be translated, then yeah, it’s that way.
As soon as the maid showed up in front of his apartment, Kikwang hesitated for a moment. She bowed at him and introduced herself as Naeun. Even in a glance Kikwang could tell that the maid is pretty. A high class maid. Holy fuck, now even the maid has qualifications? Not just son or daughter in law?
Naeun started working and she was giving Kikwang a look.
Kikwang blinked and held up both of his hands. “I’m...I’m going then. Will you be alright by yourself?”
“I’m not a thief, if that’s what you’re trying to say, Mr. Son. I was trained to be an honest and truthful maid by Mrs. Son herself,” she stopped working and stared at Kikwang from head to toe. Her gaze was judging and as she turned back to work, Kikwang could hear she slightly muttered,
“No wonder Mrs. Son prefer Mir.”
Kikwang couldn’t help but feeling hurt by her mean words. She kept her back on him, and Kikwang sighed inwardly. He’s not sure if he’s going to like the girl. And suddenly his phone rang, and his eyes widened as he stared at the screen. “Y-yes, Umma. Yes, Naeun is here. Yes, I’ll be there in a second... I know, it’s my fault, Umma. I was talking to her and...”
But Dongwoon’s mother just wouldn’t be patient enough.
“It’s not nice to make Gina wait!”, she scolded him.
What else should I learn this time?
And when he hung up, five minutes later, she called again. He picked up, the conversation ended, in another five minutes she called again, wondering what took him so long. That’s when Kikwang decided to grab his coffee and ignored her calls.
“One medium sized Mocha Frappuccino, please.”
Kikwang had lost count. It was probably the third time she called. Though his phone was in the pocket of his jeans, but the sound was shrill. The person behind him poked and stared at him weirdly.
“Dude. Your phone. Ringing.”
Kikwang smiled apologetically and even if he didn’t want to, he had to take it. “Ye-“ He didn’t even have to wait long to realize that she already hung up the phone. Kikwang almost cried in frustration and put his phone away. “Excuse me.”
“Yes?”
“Make that large sized, please.”
***
Mrs. Son gave Kikwang a look as she saw him having a cup of coffee on his hand. “You were late because of coffee? And...a cheap one, too.”
Kikwang blushed and looked down. He wished he had the courage to tell her that it was Dongwoon’s favourite coffee. "I'm sorry, Umma..."
“I’m late for my appointment. I wish you won’t disappoint me anymore and be on time next time, Kikwang.”
Kikwang nodded, feeling ashamed but couldn’t help but feeling glad as she took off. He turned to Gina. “Gina Noona. I’m sorry for making you wait.”
“It’s fine. I wasn’t that early anyway,” she gave Kikwang a comforting smile. “But...are you okay?”
“Eh? Am I okay?”, Kikwang looked confused.
“You know...she treated you...bad. I mean, she was mean to you.”
“Oh...”, Kikwang put down his coffee on the table and smiled sadly. “I’m okay...”
She’s just disappointed because I couldn’t be like Mir. Because I’m not elegant, I’m not high class and I’m not from a rich family.
Gina looked concerned, but Kikwang flashed her his perfect smile.
“So, what are we going to learn today?”
“Ah...this.”
Kikwang’s eyes widened as Gina pointed at the grand piano in the room. “Th-this...?” He wished Gina pointed to the roses on the piano. He’d prefer ikebana or learning flowers arranging or something. Please, please let it be-
“I’m going to teach you how to play piano.”
FLOWERS ARRANGING LESSON!
“Pi-pi-piano-“, Kikwang stuttered.
Gina stared at him sympathetically. “I know. But Mrs. Son wanted you to learn it. He said Mir could play piano and violin.”
Kikwang looked taken aback at the mention of the name. Mir. “But, Noona...I’m really not talented... I prefer singing! Playing instruments are...not...my specialty. Please, Noona, anything but that, please.”
“I wish I could...but Mrs. Son...,” Gina looked troubled herself and she bit her nail. “Dongwoon could play, right? Maybe he could help you practice?”
He and Dongwoon didn’t talk too much lately and the thought bugged Kikwang. “Woonie...uh...he’s busy...”
Gina tried to think of other options, but she came up with no solution. “Hmm... Let’s just try, okay? You’re a fast learner, I’m sure you can do it. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you everything.”
Kikwang sighed in defeat and smiled. Oh well, who knows? Maybe he got hidden talent.
***
Kikwang was stupid and he knew it.
He’s just not gifted in the instruments department, let alone a piano.
Despite the fact that Gina was nice and really patient at teaching him, Kikwang felt helpless. He was having a hard time remembering the pitch, the chord, the key, all that stuffs. And then there was staccato, legato, and etc etc... Gina told him tomorrow’s off, so he’ll have one day to practice.
But Kikwang didn’t want to practice.
He walked home tiredly and glanced at the watch. It was late, Dongwoon’s gonna be home in a while and he still hadn’t prepared dinner. Kikwang opened the door, thinking that Naeun might’ve gone back to the Son’s house, but there she was, just finishing arranging the foods on the table. It smelled delicious, and Kikwang heard his stomach grumbling.
Naeun turned at him with a blank expression.
“You cooked all these?”, Kikwang smiled and tried to start a conversation, but she just nodded coldly at him. “Wow...They look good.”
“I’m home,” Dongwoon said as he closed the door.
“Welcome home,” both Kikwang and Naeun said in unison. Kikwang blinked at the maid. Did she just greet his husband? In-in a warm tone?
“Naeun? Why are you here?”
“To take care of you, Dongwoon Oppa,” she smiled warmly at Dongwoon.
Kikwang’s eyes widened. A-a maid just called his husband Oppa? Not giving a damn about the status?
“I have Kikwang to take care of me,” Dongwoon replied with a smile. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“No, it’s not necessary, Oppa, I will use a taxi. Dongwoon Oppa and husband should eat dinner rightaway.”
Dongwoon Oppa and husband. Kikwang wondered if his name was blacklisted. Even Mrs. Son didn’t say his name that often.
“Thank you, Naeun,” Dongwoon nodded at her and she bowed at the two of them-more like to Dongwoon, though, ignoring Kikwang’s presence-and went out. He turned to Kikwang and they only stared at each other. Ever since their fight-their first fight as a marriage couple, Dongwoon was being less talkative and possessive. To make things worse, Dongwoon didn’t even hug Kikwang in his sleep anymore. It was just a few days but to Kikwang, it seemed like forever. He missed Dongwoon’s arms...
After having dinner-and Naeun’s cooking was even better than his-Dongwoon took a shower while Kikwang was already under the blanket, sleeping. He was just pretending to sleep, though. As Kikwang felt the bed was getting heavier, as Dongwoon climbed up to their bed and positioned himself beside the pretty male, Kikwang couldn’t help but feeling lonely.
He wanted to cry, he wanted to spill everything out in his heart, because-because Dongwoon is his husband, right?
Kikwang remembered when Dongwoon snapped for not telling him.
But, deep down inside, Kikwang thought, because Dongwoon is his husband, he didn’t want to burden Dongwoon. He knew Dongwoon was already busy with his work, and right now he’s got an upcoming project-another big one, and he didn’t want Dongwoon to think of unimportant things like, like, perhaps, his problems with his mother.
He’s just afraid that if he told Dongwoon, Dongwoon would be mad at him, because it’s his mother, the person who gave birth to him, the person he respected the most. Kikwang was afraid Dongwoon would think of it as something childish, mattering over something like that. He realized the fact that when you get married with someone, you marry his/her family too. Kikwang’s mother told him over and over again when they got separated before the wedding day, everyday, and she’s not bored repeating it. That’s why he tried his best not to whine.
Sometimes, when Kikwang’s mother called him, he’d fake a cheerful smile and tell her everything’s okay.
That he’s happy.
While it is not okay afterall.
While he’s not happy-not about Dongwoon, though.
Kikwang looked over his shoulder, Dongwoon was sleeping with his back on him. He slowly turned around and stared longingly at Dongwoon’s back. He missed to be hugged. He missed Dongwoon’s touch. He missed...he missed everything about this man. Kikwang reached Dongwoon’s back slightly and stopped, scared that the taller male might wake up.
Dongwoon didn’t move.
“I love you,” Kikwang whispered and grabbed the end of Dongwoon’s shirt slightly. He moved closer, but he did nothing. Kikwang sobbed quietly to his other hand, trying his best not to flinch too much. But his shoulders were shaking and his grip on Dongwoon’s shirt tightened. “Woonie...”
Dongwoon waited, but Kikwang said nothing more. He could feel Kikwang sobbed quietly, and God, he wanted to turn around, he wanted to hug Kikwang, to kiss him, to let him know that he’s all ears, but Dongwoon prevent himself. He wanted Kikwang to tell him first. He was tired of Kikwang holding everything to himself, keeping everything inside. If that’s what he did, then what was Dongwoon to him? Someone who provides him money? A place to live? A mere husband?
He waited, and waited, but Kikwang kept quiet.
Dongwoon could just silently mouthed I love you too. He didn’t sleep that night, he stayed awake just to hear Kikwang’s sobbing.
***
When Kikwang woke up, Dongwoon’s already gone. Something that had became routinity lately.
Kikwang was tired, too tired from everything that he couldn’t manage to wake up earlier in the morning and preparing everything for Dongwoon anymore. Not that the taller male protested, though.
Since their apartment was already clean-thanks to Naeun-and he should only think of what to cook for lunch and dinner, he opened the piano and started playing the notes. His playing was still awkward and stiff, like a five year old’s playing. Kikwang’s mind drifted to both Gina and Dongwoon’s fingers, they were slender and long, unlike his. It was clear that they were talented, and he’s not.
But it’s not that he didn’t practice.
He tried his best, and he still got complained about it.
Gina was amazed at Kikwang, and she truthfully complimented him. That it takes time, that there’s no way he could master it all in a few days. But Mrs. Son wanted otherwise. Turns out that there’s gonna be an event soon, and it was tradition to have the in laws to play instruments. Narsha was able to play the piano beautifully-she learned it since she was little, there’s no doubt about it. And this time it’s Kikwang’s turn.
Kikwang mentally facepalmed. Why are there so many family events? He could never be perfect.
Kikwang told her that she should just have Narsha noona to play like last year, and Mrs. Son replied sarcastically that most of the family requested Kikwang-they who had seen him at the family ball few months ago.
He practiced, practiced and practiced, but Mrs. Son still gave him that accusing look. Kikwang felt hurt.
Dongwoon came home that night only to find Kikwang sobbed quietly in the kitchen. He stopped, cursing himself, also feeling hurt at the sight, but at the same time, feeling useless. Kikwang would never come to him anyway. Kikwang preferred to hurt his own heart without sharing with Dongwoon. Dongwoon listened to his husband’s crying silently.
He cleared his throat and Kikwang flinched. Dongwoon walked into the kitchen and Kikwang quickly wiped his tears away. It was useless, of course. But Dongwoon was just testing.
“You’re home,” Kikwang forced a smile with a croaked voice.
“Yeah...”, Dongwoon glanced at him, fully obvious to the tears. But he said nothing. He waited. Dongwoon waited...but Kikwang kept silent and busied himself with the dishes.
Kiki...when are you gonna open up to me?
***
“You played ugly,” Mrs. Son shook her head and stared at Kikwang in disbelief.
“He’s improving, to be honest,” Gina tried to defend Kikwang but received a glare from Mrs. Son. She sank back to her seat.
“Not enough to perform in front of the whole family. I’m so disappointed in you, Kikwang. Have you not been practicing?”
Kikwang looked down. Honestly, just like Gina said, he really thought he was improving. His legato was smooth, his notes were right, and you can’t possibly expect a new Mozart was born within a week, right? Kikwang decided to stay silent.
“I’m going to call Mir.”
Kikwang looked up at Mrs. Son, eyes widened. But...but he’s not even a family...
“If it’s Mir, I’m not worried. Everyone loves him and already think of him as a part of the family. If it’s him, it’s perfect.”
And I’m not...perfect?
“Oh, and it’s okay if you don’t come,” Mrs. Son told him as she speed dialed a number on her phone and Gina glared at her. She ignored it and smiled at her screen. “Mir, darling?”
Gina rolled her eyes and let out a curse. “I bet she was planning to have Mir perform since the first time.”
Kikwang was speechless, he couldn’t say anything. The words she just said felt like a hard slap to his face. He feels like he’s never wanted in the first place. That he doesn’t belong there. Kikwang stood up, gathered his things and closed his eyes tiredly. “I...I think I’m going home. Dinner for Dongwoon...”
“Do you want me to accompany you?”
“It’s okay, Noona... I’ll be alright by myself.”
Gina looked worried but she nodded slowly. “Be careful, Kikwang-ah.”
Then he just dashed from the house. At first he dashed, but as he got farther he started to slow down. His mind was thinking. But honestly, Kikwang couldn’t think right now. All he could think that he was hurt. He felt like...she treated him like he got no pride. She was...mean, just like Gina said. Kikwang thought he could survive. He’d do anything to make Mrs. Son likes him. But now, he felt hopeless.
Kikwang was really blank that he decided to order takeouts for dinner. He bumped on to several people on his way home, and he didn’t even apologize. His mind was someplace else, someplace...he couldn’t reach. Kikwang arrived at their apartment and absent mindedly putting the food on the dining table. He sat on his chair, still blank of what to do and startled at the sound of the door.
His eyes met Dongwoon’s.
“Welcome home,” Kikwang whispered. He tried to be his usual self, but it was obvious that sadness was all over his face.
Dongwoon frowned at his tone. “Kwangie?”
“I...I didn’t cook for dinner. I hope takeouts fine...”, Kikwang said in a low voice.
Dongwoon stepped closer. “It’s fine.”
“D-dinner or shower first?”, Kikwang was stuttering. He almost lost it.
Dongwoon stared at Kikwang sternly. “Baby...is everything okay?”
“I-I’m...”
Don’t lie to me. Come on, Kiki, don’t lie to me.
Kikwang looked down to his hands, fingers entwining nervously.
Dongwoon waited for a moment before sighing. “I’m taking a shower.” He turned around, shaking his head and was about to head for their bedroom when Kikwang called his name.
“Woonie?”
Dongwoon looked over his shoulder. Kikwang brought a hand to his mouth. Again, Dongwoon waited. “Yes, baby?”
“I...”
Come on.
“I just...”
Say it.
“I...”
Fuck, Kikwang, what am I to you?
Kikwang’s eyes widened at the words. Dongwoon had said it out loud.
“Woonie...am I worth it?”
Dongwoon couldn’t believe what Kikwang just said. “...what?”
“Am I...not worth to be your husband, Woonie?”, a tear fell to Kikwang’s cheek as he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “Because I’m not...Mir?”
Then suddenly, everything makes sense to Dongwoon. This time, Kikwang cried in front of Dongwoon, sobbing like a helpless child. He didn’t cry silently like before, he let it all out. And Dongwoon was angry. He made a promise to himself that he’s not gonna let Kikwang cry anymore, but why is it impossible? Why they would still hurt Kikwang, even after knowing Kikwang is his happiness?
“Is it because...I’m not rich? I’m not...high class? I’m not...elegant?”
Dongwoon hugged the crying male in his arms, giving him the feeling of safe and secure, and Kikwang leaned in to the touch.
He needs Dongwoon. He just needs Dongwoon in his life.
“Just let it out,” Dongwoon held Kikwang so close, not giving any space left between them. Kikwang buried his head on his husband’s chest, still sobbing softly. He kept on rambling quietly about everything that’s been bothering him. Dongwoon even felt angrier hearing it, he gritted his teeth.
Kikwang was starting to get calm and that’s when Dongwoon just wanted him to forget all the pain. He leaned down and kissed those full lips softly. Kikwang moaned and closed his eyes, his tears were starting to dry.
They say, the sex after your first fight in the marriage was the sweetest thing ever.
Kikwang even felt Dongwoon’s lips on his as the sweetest thing ever. His kisses were...demanding, claiming, yet...so loving. Kikwang could never run out of love for Dongwoon. And not even for a moment Dongwoon let his lips apart from Kikwang. His hands were tracing all over Kikwang’s body, touching the sensitive spots that only he knew. For a moment, Kikwang forgot all the pain and shivered at the pleasure Dongwoon gave him.
When they touched, he could feel Dongwoon’s sweet kisses and comforting words. He could feel Dongwoon wrapped his arms around Kikwang to let him know that he’s protecting him. He could feel Dongwoon enlacing their fingers together as if to say that everything’s will be alright. When Dongwoon was inside him, Kikwang could feel that he was doing it gently-passionately, with love.
And when Kikwang cried Dongwoon’s name and the latter claimed the lips that’s been screaming his name, Kikwang knew, he could feel, and he realized...
...that he’s worth it.
***
Kikwang woke up with a dizzy feeling. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. Dongwoon was nowhere to be found. He sleepily glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon, Dongwoon must’ve been in the office already. He sighed. Kikwang remembered vaguely that he cried last night...was it a dream?
He looked down, not a single cloth was on his body. He blushed and touched his cheeks with both of his hands. Oh...I still could feel Dongwoon inside of me... It wasn’t a dream afterall...
“Thank you.”
Kikwang blinked as Dongwoon emerged in front of him. “B-baby? You’re not working?”
Dongwoon pressed the end button on his phone and threw it on the bed casually. He chose not to answer the question Kikwang addressed to him. “We’re going to Japan.”
“Eh? J-Japan?”
“Yes. And we’re going tomorrow morning. I just called to have your passport checked.”
“But-“, Kikwang was confused. “Why so sudden, Woonie?”
Dongwoon stared at Kikwang seriously.
“I’m leaving my family to live with you.”
[4]