i managed this morning to renew my library books the day just before the due date, after failing to think about it at all for the past several weeks. this could mean one of two things: (a) that i noticed the stack of library books sitting next to my bed, and in extension happened to recall that the due date -- which, coincidentally, is actually ( Read more... )

sometimes i feel so emotionally vapid, as if all people are functioning on a different wavelength, and i am in a field completely separate and on my own. it is always the same: i feel fractured and fragmented, and surrounded in a mass of the fully whole and rounded. and although i've said it many times before -- that i would like nothing more than ( Read more... )

i am far too passive: were i exiled to some remote island, alone and without any belongings, i am quite doubtful that i would survive it: rather than forage for berries or craft hunting spears out of tree limbs, i think i might sit by the shore and wait for some animal to run in front of me and suddenly die -- and even then i am not quite sure i ( Read more... )

you are utterly and frustratingly inscrutable: i could read all about astronomy, physics, mathematics; about planets and star systems and galaxies; about atoms, quarks, hadrons, and protons and neutrons -- and yet i will never understand you. and, well, dear universe: i think i may just stop trying ( Read more... )

i am a little tired of life and living; of being and breathing. i am exhausted, fully and in all ways. i feel like a marionette, and each day the world pulls from me another thread of vitality, until i am left dangling on a single string -- and tomorrow there will be nothing left to keep me above ground. i am submersed in letters and numbers, in ( Read more... )

i adore everything about this song. i did not like her at all when i listened to her about a year ago, but when i downloaded her album a second time i strangely loved it completely and immediately.

i am terribly in love with demetri martin, in as much as one can be in love with a person they have never met or interacted with, and know only through ( Read more... )

rarely i still think about mark and how she said she loved him, loved him completely, loved him years later even after they had parted -- but never really loved him at all. in truth, she loved someone else: always, from beginning to end; loved him so much until she hated him. but to mark, she was everything: everything he ever wanted or imagined in ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

i am sick: a virus winds its way through vessels, valves and ventricles, exhaling its venom into my veins. my body is its hollow: it spreads to my heart and then my brain, and i am but a collection of cells, diseased and wasted. my mind is no longer my own; my heart races until i feel it might flee from my chest in a sudden eruption of panic. ( Read more... )