Another contrelamontre bit of madness
See, hpsquick is doing crossovers, and there's the fortune cookie thing, and I don't even know where this came from. Other than the fortune, course, which is at the end.
The buzzing sound took Snape by surprise. It was directly behind him, and he whirled, snatching his wand from its pocket inside his robes. He had never seen Apparition done like this. There were columns of light that coalesced, twinklingly, into a man, facing to the left at a ninety-degree angle from Snape. It was probably, one part of his mind screamed, a new method designed to surprise him into inaction. Another part noted dryly that it appeared to be working, as the man turned and faced him, a slightly disgruntled look on his sharply-planed face. The man was tall and slender-almost gaunt-like Severus himself, dark-haired and pale, with a rather greenish cast to his skin. He was holding…an object. Not a wand, clearly; something boxy, whirring, beeps and screeches punctuating the silence in his dungeon. Severus kept his wand at the ready, and the stranger obviously recognized the threat. He remained still, looking at his little box periodically, waiting and sizing up his opponent.
Finally, the other man spoke. “I mean you no harm.” His voice was low, gravelly and deep. Snape waited, and the stranger arched one eyebrow languidly, an elegant question mark.
“Who are you?”
“I believe I’ve come to the wrong place. I was expecting something more…coastal.”
“At least you didn’t splinch. Who are you?”
The man frowned slightly at the word splinch, but plainly decided not to comment on the possibility. “I am…a visitor here.”
“Clearly. I’ve never seen anyone Apparate quite like that before; however, since you previously were not here and I’ve never seen you before, it would seem apparent that you’ve just arrived, and are a stranger. It follows you are visiting. I am not accustomed to repeating myself, so I shall make this the last time I ask before I bind you.” The eyebrow rose nearly to the hairline at this, but no response issued forth. “Who. Are. You.”
“My name is Spock.”
“Just Spock?”
“My other name is…difficult. My associates simply use Spock.”
“I see. My name is Snape. I also note you have still not answered my question.”
“On the contrary. I answered the question, as the concepts of identity and name are frequently bound up together. However, I anticipate you wish to learn something of my purpose here.”
“Indeed.” The lean man’s face altered slightly on hearing the word-nothing that could be identified as a smile, but the sense was the same. “Continue.”
“My name is Spock. I am a commander in my…nation’s military and expeditionary force.”
“Your nation. Your command of English would seem adequate, although the American accent is a trifle grating. The US is sending a commander to Hogwarts? Should this not be handled through the Ministry?”
“I am not a US national. My mission is not entirely mine to disclose. Suffice it to say, I had hoped to gain access to some rather unusual chemical stores for use in creating an antidote to an agent infecting my crew.”
“So you needed a Potions master.” Severus found his wand arm relaxing fractionally, and remedied the lapse immediately.
“Potions? I suppose that might be one word, were I more dramatically inclined.”
“Well, what do you call the subject?”
“Chemistry. Or medicine, although the distinction is not remarkable for its clarity.”
“Well then. We shall see what we can see. Slowly put down your weapon.”
“I am armed, but this is not a weapon.”
“Clearly. Where is your wand?”
“Wand?”
“Wand. Like this?” Severus waved his briefly.
“I do not have a wand. I do have a phaser. It is here,” he looked down quickly at his side. “Are you suggesting that your wand is a weapon?”
“If I wish it to be, then yes.”
“Fascinating.” The eyebrow, relaxed for this last exchange, had gone back up, and Severus found his own raising in imitation. “May I see a demonstration?”
“Of my wand?”
“Please. I have never seen a wand used as a weapon.”
“Put down your weapon.”
“Of course.” Spock shifted the box in his hands and carefully pulled an awkward curved object from his belt, throwing it to the ground between them.
Snape held out his left hand. “Accio weapon.” The…phaser, he’d called it, leapt to his hand. Both eyebrows leapt. “How do I operate this device?”
“Please notice there are settings on the top-you are holding it inverted, just now-represented by numbers. The highest setting would vaporize me. The lowest would have a temporary stunning effect on you, but not me. My metabolism is…different. Setting two would stun me.”
“I shall set it to five, then. While I demonstrate my wand.” He leveled the phaser at Spock left-handed, and blew apart a goblet on the table with his wand and a word.
“Fascinating,” repeated Spock, making no move with the phaser trained on him, and also making no attempt to explain what he was really doing here. “I had been curious as to whether that was the stuff of legends. I conclude, as with many legends, there is at least some truth. My superiors will be most interested.”
“What is it you needed? I do have work to do here.” Snape was increasingly annoyed by this interaction. “You cannot simply be wanting to see my wand in action.”
“As I stated previously, I am in need of unusual ingredients.” He reeled off a list of chemicals. “My tricorder,” he waved the box, “indicates you have many of these elements available. I am prepared to compensate you.”
“Compensate me? How?”
“What would you wish for, in trade?”
“I would consider the truth an excellent start.”
“I have not told a falsehood.”
Snape snorted rudely. “Of course not. I’d have known. I am quite an accomplished legilimens, and even a stranger would have trouble lying to me when I am focused on him. However, I surmise you are also an accomplished occlumens, as I cannot see beyond the shallowest impressions in your mind.”
Spock was visibly unsettled at this last. “You are human?”
“Human? Wizard.”
“I see. Is a wizard a human?”
“Technically, yes. Most humans are Muggles.”
“Indeed.” Snape saw immediately why the word had made the man’s lips twitch earlier; it was one of his own favorite responses as well.
“Right, then. I propose You drop your defenses and allow me to see the truth, in exchange for which I will allow you to appropriate what of my stores I can spare. I will not allow you to leave the castle without crucial stores, however.”
Spock thought briefly, and concluded he had no time and fewer choices. “Agreed.” He stepped closer.
“Stop. Drop your defenses.”
Spock looked at him and admitted, “My…tradition is different than yours. I have to touch to link minds.”
“You want to touch me?”
“My apologies. I am a half-breed, and some things which come easily to my forebears are less natural to me. You still have my phaser.”
“And my wand. What will you need to do?”
“I will need to touch your face. Here,” he indicated a spot at the temple, “Here, and here. It will be brief.”
“You should know my skill as a legilimens is no greater than that as an occlumens. You won’t force anything from me.”
“Nor you, I, I would imagine.”
“Get on with it, then.”
Spock stepped forward, placed his long fingers on the familiar pressure points, and spoke the traditional words. In an instant, their minds melded, possibly more perfectly than any other meld he’d ever experiences. This man was an outcast, a warrior, a brilliant mind, a scientist…the similarities between them were many. Spock sorted briefly through the memories he found, and let his own memories be passed into the other mind. It felt like hours, but mere seconds passed before he leaned away and broke the bond.
“Oh,” said Snape.
“Indeed,” said Spock, allowing a corner of his mouth to twitch into a true smile-a smile usually only seen by Jim and, rarely, McCoy.
“The ingredients, then. Right this way.” Snape felt his voice catch and forced his pulse to slow, his breathing to calm.
“Thank you,” Spock said gravely.
Snape worked quickly, gathering the packet of items that met Spock’s needs. Spock flipped open yet another box clipped to his belt. “Spock to Enterprise”
A disembodied voice came back through the box, startling Snape a bit until he recalled this was perhaps similar to a Muggle telephone. “Enterprise”
“I have secured a source of…chemicals. Beam up from my position in five seconds. I will comm back shortly.” He set down the package and in five seconds it decoalesced into twinkling bars of light. Snape stared.
“To approximate, they accio’ed that to the ship.”
“I. See.”
Spock stepped near the Potions master, who found himself shivering unexpectedly. “Mr. Snape.”
“Severus.”
“Thank you. Severus. I wish to say something.”
“You seem to be doing so.”
“Of course. A mind meld is always…intimate.”
“Meld. Of course.”
“This means I know you intimately. I can make you forget, or you can make me. We are equal.”
“We are.”
“I know what you are.” He touched the mark unerringly through the sleeve. “I would not share that with anyone, but if you wish, I can re-establish the link so you can remove the knowledge.”
“I. I do not wish to forget. Do you?”
“I do not.”
“Good. May I?” Snape reached up and touched the Vulcan’s face in the same way his had been touched earlier, caressing the points. The link flared despite his inexperience and both men stiffened.
“I must return to my ship.”
“Will you be back?”
Spock paused. “Perhaps.” He called his ship and disappeared into the light.
Snape stood for a long time, until the cauldron boiled dry and began to smoke. And then, as ever, he worked alone, into the night.
______________________________________________________________________
The fortune was: A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizard. See, Spock has to come back, right?
The buzzing sound took Snape by surprise. It was directly behind him, and he whirled, snatching his wand from its pocket inside his robes. He had never seen Apparition done like this. There were columns of light that coalesced, twinklingly, into a man, facing to the left at a ninety-degree angle from Snape. It was probably, one part of his mind screamed, a new method designed to surprise him into inaction. Another part noted dryly that it appeared to be working, as the man turned and faced him, a slightly disgruntled look on his sharply-planed face. The man was tall and slender-almost gaunt-like Severus himself, dark-haired and pale, with a rather greenish cast to his skin. He was holding…an object. Not a wand, clearly; something boxy, whirring, beeps and screeches punctuating the silence in his dungeon. Severus kept his wand at the ready, and the stranger obviously recognized the threat. He remained still, looking at his little box periodically, waiting and sizing up his opponent.
Finally, the other man spoke. “I mean you no harm.” His voice was low, gravelly and deep. Snape waited, and the stranger arched one eyebrow languidly, an elegant question mark.
“Who are you?”
“I believe I’ve come to the wrong place. I was expecting something more…coastal.”
“At least you didn’t splinch. Who are you?”
The man frowned slightly at the word splinch, but plainly decided not to comment on the possibility. “I am…a visitor here.”
“Clearly. I’ve never seen anyone Apparate quite like that before; however, since you previously were not here and I’ve never seen you before, it would seem apparent that you’ve just arrived, and are a stranger. It follows you are visiting. I am not accustomed to repeating myself, so I shall make this the last time I ask before I bind you.” The eyebrow rose nearly to the hairline at this, but no response issued forth. “Who. Are. You.”
“My name is Spock.”
“Just Spock?”
“My other name is…difficult. My associates simply use Spock.”
“I see. My name is Snape. I also note you have still not answered my question.”
“On the contrary. I answered the question, as the concepts of identity and name are frequently bound up together. However, I anticipate you wish to learn something of my purpose here.”
“Indeed.” The lean man’s face altered slightly on hearing the word-nothing that could be identified as a smile, but the sense was the same. “Continue.”
“My name is Spock. I am a commander in my…nation’s military and expeditionary force.”
“Your nation. Your command of English would seem adequate, although the American accent is a trifle grating. The US is sending a commander to Hogwarts? Should this not be handled through the Ministry?”
“I am not a US national. My mission is not entirely mine to disclose. Suffice it to say, I had hoped to gain access to some rather unusual chemical stores for use in creating an antidote to an agent infecting my crew.”
“So you needed a Potions master.” Severus found his wand arm relaxing fractionally, and remedied the lapse immediately.
“Potions? I suppose that might be one word, were I more dramatically inclined.”
“Well, what do you call the subject?”
“Chemistry. Or medicine, although the distinction is not remarkable for its clarity.”
“Well then. We shall see what we can see. Slowly put down your weapon.”
“I am armed, but this is not a weapon.”
“Clearly. Where is your wand?”
“Wand?”
“Wand. Like this?” Severus waved his briefly.
“I do not have a wand. I do have a phaser. It is here,” he looked down quickly at his side. “Are you suggesting that your wand is a weapon?”
“If I wish it to be, then yes.”
“Fascinating.” The eyebrow, relaxed for this last exchange, had gone back up, and Severus found his own raising in imitation. “May I see a demonstration?”
“Of my wand?”
“Please. I have never seen a wand used as a weapon.”
“Put down your weapon.”
“Of course.” Spock shifted the box in his hands and carefully pulled an awkward curved object from his belt, throwing it to the ground between them.
Snape held out his left hand. “Accio weapon.” The…phaser, he’d called it, leapt to his hand. Both eyebrows leapt. “How do I operate this device?”
“Please notice there are settings on the top-you are holding it inverted, just now-represented by numbers. The highest setting would vaporize me. The lowest would have a temporary stunning effect on you, but not me. My metabolism is…different. Setting two would stun me.”
“I shall set it to five, then. While I demonstrate my wand.” He leveled the phaser at Spock left-handed, and blew apart a goblet on the table with his wand and a word.
“Fascinating,” repeated Spock, making no move with the phaser trained on him, and also making no attempt to explain what he was really doing here. “I had been curious as to whether that was the stuff of legends. I conclude, as with many legends, there is at least some truth. My superiors will be most interested.”
“What is it you needed? I do have work to do here.” Snape was increasingly annoyed by this interaction. “You cannot simply be wanting to see my wand in action.”
“As I stated previously, I am in need of unusual ingredients.” He reeled off a list of chemicals. “My tricorder,” he waved the box, “indicates you have many of these elements available. I am prepared to compensate you.”
“Compensate me? How?”
“What would you wish for, in trade?”
“I would consider the truth an excellent start.”
“I have not told a falsehood.”
Snape snorted rudely. “Of course not. I’d have known. I am quite an accomplished legilimens, and even a stranger would have trouble lying to me when I am focused on him. However, I surmise you are also an accomplished occlumens, as I cannot see beyond the shallowest impressions in your mind.”
Spock was visibly unsettled at this last. “You are human?”
“Human? Wizard.”
“I see. Is a wizard a human?”
“Technically, yes. Most humans are Muggles.”
“Indeed.” Snape saw immediately why the word had made the man’s lips twitch earlier; it was one of his own favorite responses as well.
“Right, then. I propose You drop your defenses and allow me to see the truth, in exchange for which I will allow you to appropriate what of my stores I can spare. I will not allow you to leave the castle without crucial stores, however.”
Spock thought briefly, and concluded he had no time and fewer choices. “Agreed.” He stepped closer.
“Stop. Drop your defenses.”
Spock looked at him and admitted, “My…tradition is different than yours. I have to touch to link minds.”
“You want to touch me?”
“My apologies. I am a half-breed, and some things which come easily to my forebears are less natural to me. You still have my phaser.”
“And my wand. What will you need to do?”
“I will need to touch your face. Here,” he indicated a spot at the temple, “Here, and here. It will be brief.”
“You should know my skill as a legilimens is no greater than that as an occlumens. You won’t force anything from me.”
“Nor you, I, I would imagine.”
“Get on with it, then.”
Spock stepped forward, placed his long fingers on the familiar pressure points, and spoke the traditional words. In an instant, their minds melded, possibly more perfectly than any other meld he’d ever experiences. This man was an outcast, a warrior, a brilliant mind, a scientist…the similarities between them were many. Spock sorted briefly through the memories he found, and let his own memories be passed into the other mind. It felt like hours, but mere seconds passed before he leaned away and broke the bond.
“Oh,” said Snape.
“Indeed,” said Spock, allowing a corner of his mouth to twitch into a true smile-a smile usually only seen by Jim and, rarely, McCoy.
“The ingredients, then. Right this way.” Snape felt his voice catch and forced his pulse to slow, his breathing to calm.
“Thank you,” Spock said gravely.
Snape worked quickly, gathering the packet of items that met Spock’s needs. Spock flipped open yet another box clipped to his belt. “Spock to Enterprise”
A disembodied voice came back through the box, startling Snape a bit until he recalled this was perhaps similar to a Muggle telephone. “Enterprise”
“I have secured a source of…chemicals. Beam up from my position in five seconds. I will comm back shortly.” He set down the package and in five seconds it decoalesced into twinkling bars of light. Snape stared.
“To approximate, they accio’ed that to the ship.”
“I. See.”
Spock stepped near the Potions master, who found himself shivering unexpectedly. “Mr. Snape.”
“Severus.”
“Thank you. Severus. I wish to say something.”
“You seem to be doing so.”
“Of course. A mind meld is always…intimate.”
“Meld. Of course.”
“This means I know you intimately. I can make you forget, or you can make me. We are equal.”
“We are.”
“I know what you are.” He touched the mark unerringly through the sleeve. “I would not share that with anyone, but if you wish, I can re-establish the link so you can remove the knowledge.”
“I. I do not wish to forget. Do you?”
“I do not.”
“Good. May I?” Snape reached up and touched the Vulcan’s face in the same way his had been touched earlier, caressing the points. The link flared despite his inexperience and both men stiffened.
“I must return to my ship.”
“Will you be back?”
Spock paused. “Perhaps.” He called his ship and disappeared into the light.
Snape stood for a long time, until the cauldron boiled dry and began to smoke. And then, as ever, he worked alone, into the night.
______________________________________________________________________
The fortune was: A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizard. See, Spock has to come back, right?