The Case for Established Relationship Fic
So I was stalking exploring the journal of an author I love, and she had posted briefly about how she wondered about the appeal of established relationship fic. She, like many other people in fandom, has a very strong preference for first time fic. She asked, what suspense or tension can there be in an established relationship fic?
Which got me thinking. I realized I read a hell of a lot of first-time fic. I enjoy it a lot. And I've definitely been guilty of passing over fics that say "established relationship" for the ones that say "first time." Why do I do that? I dunno. I guess part of it is that I like canon as a starting point; I want to know how a story proceeds directly from canon. An established relationship fic often necessitates skipping over quite a bit.
But I do love established relationship fics, particularly ones that are about an established relationship, about negotiations and keeping things interesting and working on your relationship. And I wondered why there aren't more of them out there. So I have written down my thoughts about why, perhaps we don't have as much, and why and how we should get more of that shit up in our fandoms.
(Yes, this post is going to have section headers. I like it when my posts are orderly, okay?)
Prejudice Against Established Relationship
So I already said that a perceived distance from canon can be one reason people avoid ERFs (that is, established relationship fics, because it deserves an abbreviation, okay?).
But I think one of biggest things riding against established relationships is a very, very long history of romance stories being about first times. Fairy tales are usually about first loves and usually end in marriages. Comedies (of the Shakespearean variety) end in marriages. Stories stop when people get together, because all the "crucial" work has been done. This approach makes slightly more sense in societies where divorce was unlawful and a stigma, when getting married (as so many romantic pairings ended in those old romances) meant "settling down" to live in one house for the rest of your days with one person. There's a sense in our traditional culture that confirmed, monogamous relationships mean a loss of adventure, movement, novelty, and so on, and maybe that does have some basis in the ways that people really lived. Maybe. I'm doubtful about making those kinds of sweeping claims about the past, but maybe.
I also wonder whether there is a certain kind of ageism built into the dislike of established relationship fic. I hesitate to call it that, because there are quite a few middle-aged protagonists out there who get blessed with heaps of first time fic. But there's also a sense in which we as a culture are just less interested in people who are established. Who are perceived as less fresh or young or innocent or discovering things for the first time. I think we have it in our heads that older people are less interesting, because they have already lived through so many things.
ERFs might also take more work in the writing. With a first time fic, the main catalyst for romantic tension is already there: our OTP is not together yet. Hell, you write the header and you're basically halfway through the exposition. (I exaggerate, of course; the really good writers are going to do lots of development and scene-setting regardless, but I still think it's a little easier.) But with an ERF, you have to build that tension. You have to describe to readers the state of the relationship and what is wrong or right with it and what specifically we should be worrying about. You have to get us invested in the continuation of this relationship as opposed to its beginning. I am not claiming to know how to do this. I have no idea. But it does seem to me to be harder to do, if only because, unlike first time fic, it is not the default genre of all fanfiction.
Why Established Relationships Can be Super Interesting: A Short List
1. Because negotiating continued Relationships is difficult and complicated and fascinating
ERs gives you leave to explore relationship issues that come up later in a relationship, the kinds of things that are hard and dirty and often angsty. Things like negotiating power and space and vulnerability and family. The ugly and exciting moment when you realize, "You're not exactly who I thought you were," or "You're different in this situation than I thought you'd be."
Because I think the question "How do we stay together?" can be at least as interesting as "How do we get together?" I get why it can seem to be a less romantic question. And it can be rather gritty. And of course, this question gets even more interesting for polyamorous groupings. But I think it definitely can make for incredibly romantic, sexy fic. Why?
2. Because the characters have "history."
Or baggage. Or both. You've got some automatic romantic and sexual tension worked into the story, because your readers don't know that history. You, as the writer, can tease them with sly references, or plunge them into full-on flashbacks, or wait until later to narrate the contexts your characters have been swimming in all along. You can leave some questions unanswered. But that history is basically a gigantic, glittering plot device; you get to create it and wield it however you like to create dramatic tension.
(Which makes me think of Conversations With Other Women, a film with Helena Bonham Carter and Aaron Eckhart, where a man and woman at a wedding seem at first not to know each other, but then we slowly learn about their long history with each other.)
3. Because their history means that there is a high level of personal investment
People who are with each other for a while often start identifying with their relationships--as an "us." So an established relationship fic might be a fun place to do a serious character study. What does it mean for a character to be balancing independence with dependence by being in this relationship? Does it change anything about who they are?
This also means that established relationships could conceivably cause higher highs and lower lows than relationships with other people. Characters might be able to laugh off critiques from everyone else, but are completely destroyed when it comes from a partner. Putting that much trust, time, and effort into someone can create vulnerability. Which can make for really juicy stories. :D
4. Because ERs can let you explore--in depth--all of the other issues that make relationships interesting and complicated. Issues such as...
- Family: parents, children, siblings, extended family, families by choice, negotiating the place of family in a relationship, re-evaluating your relationships with your family, adding new members of your family
- Interpersonal: fighting, infidelity, sharing secrets, misunderstandings, magical soulbonding, personal space, codependence
- Sex: keeping it fresh, negotiating different kinds of sex, communicating during sex, first time for kink (at all) or a new kink, sexual changes as a result of changes in bodies, relationships, emotional revelations, PDA
- Bodies: medical situations, disabilites or abilities, aging, exercise, makeovers
- Environment: home, city, decorating, who gets space where, where you go, long-distance relationships, reincarnation
- Career/Hobby/Money: hobbies, new jobs, losing a job, reinventing yourself, getting into a new industry, workplace relationships, financial problems, inheritances
- Identity: questioning sexuality, transgender/transsexual issues, gender dynamics, race dynamics, becoming politically active about some identity component
Depictions of ERs That Can Lead to Un-interesting-ness
Okay, anything can be moving or sexy or brilliant given the right context. But these are some depictions of people in established relationships that can lead to less dramatic tension. Obviously, dramatic tension isn't always the point, but if you're trying to write an ER and build some romantic/sexual/dramatic tension, these depictions of ERs might not be the way to do that.
The One Where an ER Is Never Awkward; They Are Always Comfortable/Familiar With Each Other
Now think...what if they were awkward? What kind of story could be written about that? People in ERs can still get embarrassed about their own ticks and foibles. In fact, they can be more embarrassed, because this is the most important person in their life. There can be awkward silences. Being embarrassed by their own bodily functions. Embarrassed by their life choices. By their family. By their career. As I said above, there are so many things they might only feel vulnerable about when it comes to their partner, because of the sheer amount of trust they have in that person.
We also get this when it comes physicality. We get depictions of people who are really comfortable with PDA, who cuddle up with each other at dinner parties and are adorable. Or people who are mutually okay with not touching in public. This is undoubtedly true of plenty of couples/groupings, but not all. This is one place where there could be some interesting strife. A lot of relationships have to work on how they engage with each other physically, whether in public or not. Easy physicality is not something everyone has.
The One Where ERs Communicate Really Well; Or, They Know Each Other So Well They Don't Need to Communicate
I've seen this done with sex scenes a lot; people in established relationships know each other's ticks/desires so well that they just know what to do. They have easy, wonderful sex every time. This is probably a thing that happens in the world somewhere, and it can even serve a narrative function, certainly. But what if your characters just never really worked their way to good sex? Or never got over a hangup? Or are really uncomfortable with bodily fluids? (What I'm really saying here is WRITE ALL THE KINK NEGOTIATION FICS; WRITE THEM NOW. Ahem.)
I've also seen this one done with emotions. Characters in fics who just look at each other and know what's going on in each other's brains. If you're looking to create some strife or interest, this is an easy place to intervene. People in ERs misunderstand each other all the time. They're not always able to read body language well, or at all. They may have to prod each other into talking. They may yell when they need to cool off. They may walk away when they need to talk.
The One Where ERs Know Everything (Important) About Each Other
People keep secrets, of course, but that's not only what I'm talking about. Some things, people just never get around to talking about. Or they refrain from talking about something not because it's a secret, per se, but because it's painful or it's awkward or it's just none of your business. It's not like spending a couple of years (or even a couple of decades) with someone means that you know everything about them. People are surprising. They make decisions we can't predict. They know things and do things and feel things that we can't predict. They change.
Of course, one of the potential sources of strife in a relationship is when one person breaks another person's expectations. It can be really scary to find out that someone isn't exactly who you think they are, or that they would act different in a situation than you think they should, or that they have changed their patterns of interaction. That's really fucking scary, because your relationship, your normal ways of interacting feel unsettled. Sometimes, even when someone changes their behavior for the better, it can feel like they're distancing themselves from you, because they're doing something differently. I'd love to see a fic dealing with a dynamic like that.
The One Where It Will Definitely Work Out In The End
I think one of the things that a really good ER fic needs in order for the tension to keep hold of the reader is the very real possibility that they might not work it out. (Now "might not work it out" may not mean that they break up; there are other possibilities there. They decide to stay in an unhealthy pattern, because the alternative is too scary? They don't solve all their problems by the end of the story, but they do call a marriage counselor?)
And of course, this is a tough one because we're writing fanfiction. If a fic is labelled a particular pairing, we've got a pretty good idea that that pairing will be together. That's the whole point. So yes, we do know they'll be together in the end (excepting some specific genres like dark fic, etc). But what a ERF fic should do is get me invested, threaten that investment, and then affirm that investment. If there is no threat to the relationship, the fic is either not about the relationship, or it's fluff or it's curtain!fic. And all of those are perfectly fine, obviously, but in this post I'm interested in encouraging fics about established relationships.
The One Where An Established Relationship Fic Would Basically Have to Have Infidelity or a Break-up In Order To Get the Necessary Level of Romantic Tension
I love me some really good, grown-up infidelity and break-up fic. But I know not everyone does. And I feel like a great number of the ER fics I've seen--fics that are about an established relationship--have been about infidelity and break-ups. And while those are great, I think there are other amazing stories to be told: ones with just as much dramatic/romantic tension. There are plenty of other things that can threaten a relationship to the point of failure or unhappiness. I listed some of them above, and I'd love to see them taken up.
In Summary: Established Relationships FTW
One of my favorite genres (and one I don't get to see very much) is the falling-in-love-with-your-own-partner trope. Because long term relationships require renewal every so often; they have moments where you look over at that person and think, "Oh. It's you." And you remember all over why you got with that person. Or better yet, you find new and amazing reasons to be glad that you're with that person. Or you get so pissed that you could spit tears and you think, "I wanna kill you and hide your body in the backyard, and the only reason I'm not going to is because I love you a tad bit more than I hate you." Or maybe you're so different, or they're so different, that it's like falling in love with a brand new person.
That's a love story. And that's interesting to me, and I want to read about it.
(Like just now, as I'm writing this post, when my partner says out of the blue, "I love how you type so forcefully, all jabbing at the keys. It's sexy." And I’m like, WHAT *blush* YOU WEIRDO. And then I spend the rest of the writing process smiling uncontrollably about my own Established Relationship.)
ER Fic and Meta Recs
ETA: I will continue to update this section; you might want to turn off notifications for this post. I have more recs than I thought. I'm going to leave out the PWPs where it's not a first time, since those are fairly standard.
Meta
'Moonlighting' Syndrome by resonant - Zie has some good advice for introducing sexual tension into ERFs, including introducing a new conflict, privileging a specific sex act (while avoiding the cliches attached to this trope), and finding a new barrier to intimacy.
Avengers
Secrets of a Successful Marriage by valtyr - (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, 24K, Explicit) - Basically it's Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Avengers-style: neither is aware that the other is a superhero/supervillain. They figure it out. Hijinks and sex ensue. I hesitated to put this one on the list, seeing as it's more of an action/adventure fic than a romance, but it definitely does a great job of introducing dramatic tension into an ER.
Some People Just Collect Stamps by Closer (Phil Coulson/Clint Barton, 9K, SPOILERS for Avengers movie) - a post movie fic that features an astounding ER, with lovely tidbits of their history wrapping around their current predicament.
LotRPS
$5.99 Per Minute, Adults Only by caras_galadhon - (Viggo Mortensen/Sean Bean, R) - I haven't read all of Galadriel's stuff yet, but it looks like she's written piles of fun ERFs. This one had an interesting intersection of job and relationship that made me laugh and smile.
Merlin
to break and blossom by novemberlite - (Merlin/Arthur, 3K, crossdressing, bdsm esp. masochism) - This fic involves a break-up and the difficulty of a physical relationship when your partner's kinks don't line up with yours. The sex is scorching, but what I love most about this fic is the emotional drama. And the last line slayed me
Job Orientation by seperis - (Merlin/Arthur, short, PG-13) - Ha! Look! It's a non-angsty ERF! This is just a short scene, but what I love about this fic is how it begins with everyday, light-hearted interactions that you eventually realized are taking place in a larger emotional context. Their relationship is on the brink of a possible change, and although they talk around that a lot, they do address it have a bit of h/c there at the end.
(And of course, seperis went back and wrote the prequel to explain how they got together, the fandom classic Tale of the Sea-Serpent).
the good times are killing me by minor_hue - (Merlin/Arthur, 15K, NC-17) - This is the first fic I thought of when I wanted to rec an ERF, but then I couldn't find it. (Thanks, fuckyeah!) The boys have broken up but pretend that they are still together for Christmas. It's fantastic: moving, angsty, and definitely containing that elusive sexual tension that can be so hard to produce in an ERF.
Suits
let us go then, you and i by azure_horizon - (Harvey/Mike, 6K, divorce) - Here's the summary: A guide to recognizing he's still the love of your life, and how to deal with that after you divorce him. Yeah, I know. It sounds like it might break your heart. And well, it will. But it's also a damn good fic, with a sweet, hopeful ending.
What should I add to my lists? What are your favorite ER fics? (REC ME ALL THE THINGS SO THAT MY REC LIST STOPS BEING SO HUMILIATING) Or hell, write me some ER fic. (RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, BABY.) Or. OR. What if we made an ER fest? (Who wants to host that shit? Come on, I know someone wants to volunteer.)