Comments | fkficfest: A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect by <strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/foxy11814">foxy11814</a></strong> (PG, Gen)

foxy11814 in fkficfest

A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect by foxy11814 (PG, Gen)

May 16, 2010 16:54

Title: A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect
Author: foxy11814
Recipient: pj1228
Prompt: A homicide puts Lacroix on top of the suspect list. Is Nick willing to help? Is Lacroix willing to accept help from Nick?
Length: 8,246 words
Rating: PG

( A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect )

character: cohen, genre: mystery, rating: teens and adults, character: schanke, author: foxy11814, character: nick, genre: policework, character: natalie, character: lacroix, game: 2010, type: gen

Comments 18

wiliqueen May 22 2010, 14:40:15 UTC

Interesting inversion of the usual revenge paradigm, with Nick as the pawn/victim! Not much fun, is it, Nick? *wry g*

Great sense of the relationships, especially Nick's love/hate/dunno with LaCroix, and his camaraderie with and teasing respect for Schanke.

foxy11814 May 22 2010, 15:48:30 UTC

Thanks for reading the story! I'm also glad you thought I did well on the relationships. That's what I was mainly going for. I always see Nick and Lacroix's relationship as complicated. Sometimes he hates him, sometimes he loves him, and sometimes he just plain doesn't know. I'm glad that came across. And, of course, how could we forget Schanke? Nick is so cute with Schanke on the show sometimes. He's definitely most human when he's with Schanke, regardless of whether they're solving a case about a vampire or just joking around.

(The comment has been removed)

foxy11814 May 22 2010, 15:49:45 UTC

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

(The comment has been removed)

foxy11814 May 22 2010, 20:03:05 UTC

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

pj1228 May 22 2010, 22:41:53 UTC

I love it! I'm delighted at how you managed to mix both of Nick's worlds into one.

Lacroix behaves remarkably well while in custody. Of course he had a reason to do so. :)
I also like the fact that he refused to give in to Acacius' advances. The fact that he does not take anyone, emphasizes how very special Nick is to him.

And Nick's eagerness to help Lacroix by solving the crime speaks volumes.

Thank you so much for this wonderful tale!

foxy11814 May 22 2010, 23:57:30 UTC

I was worried whether you would like this story or not! I wanted it to be believable and yet show the complexities of Lacroix and Nick's relationship! He has problems with Lacroix and yet deep down, he does acknowledge, at least in his actions, that he does care for him.

I also like the fact that he refused to give in to Acacius' advances. The fact that he does not take anyone, emphasizes how very special Nick is to him.

That was exactly what I was going for. And, the fact that he wouldn't let Acacius force him into anything, just like with Divia. Even though this was set in the second season I had to give a few "nods" to third season's "Ashes to Ashes."

In any case, I'm so glad you liked it since I wanted to take it further but ran out of time, lol.

pj1228 May 23 2010, 09:56:07 UTC

>I wanted to take it further but ran out of time, lol.<

There's always room for a sequel... ;)

Did you say you started this new from scratch 2 weeks ago? Now I'm curious what you had originally in mind.

foxy11814 May 23 2010, 15:24:15 UTC

Yes, I threw the original story out, lol. The premise was the same--same plot, situation, characters, but it was simply told in a different way, for example the first didn't have the dream sequences and it actually went into the background of Kidd, Kidd's continuous run-ins with Lacroix, etc--all from Kidd's perspective at the beginning. I threw it out, because it just didn't read well to me. I got frustrated, tossed it, and simply started typing with this new version. It just came pouring out. I still have the old version saved, which is, of course, uncomplete. What I mean about taking it further is that I had to end it before I really wanted to. I would have loved to flesh out characters more (give Natalie a bigger role) and built a more solid conclusion without having Damianus explain everything, but there ya go. LOL

"I listen to him on the radio. So, what? I want this case, Captain." brightknightie May 23 2010, 02:10:11 UTC

You have very directly and comprehensively addressed the prompt here, and also the recipient's preferences that came with it. This story must be immensely appealing to UF and CotK audiences -- a genuine treat for that perspective ( ... )

Re: "I listen to him on the radio. So, what? I want this case, Captain." foxy11814 May 23 2010, 03:05:49 UTC

Thanks for your lengthy reply and thoughts! I enjoyed reading them.

I cannot particularly comment on those aspects of your story, and I apologize for that. I hope that people who make their home bases in this genre will come comment on your story for you!That's quite alright. I realize it's not everyone's cup of Ribena, lol. You might find it surprising that in a certain way, I share your uneasiness on the topic. I will not deny that I am a "Cousin," but my stories--when focused on Nick and Lacroix--are generally focused on their familial relationship. I like to write about their father and son relationship. I have never written them as lovers, and yet, I know that most of my fellow Cousins, and therefore my audience, doesn't mind it and some even want it. So, my solution to that problem is to include enough references and hints that the reader can take it any way he or she chooses. Schanke was repulsed at the idea, but one might say Lacroix was, too, and that's why he refused. As you quite accurately stated, what happened in "Ashes ( ... )