A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect by foxy11814 (PG, Gen)

[foxy11814]

Title: A Prize to Win, A Prize to Protect
Author: foxy11814
Recipient: pj1228
Prompt: A homicide puts Lacroix on top of the suspect list. Is Nick willing to help? Is Lacroix willing to accept help from Nick?
Length: 8,246 words
Rating: PG

Comments

"I listen to him on the radio. So, what? I want this case, Captain."

[brightknightie]

You have very directly and comprehensively addressed the prompt here, and also the recipient's preferences that came with it. This story must be immensely appealing to UF and CotK audiences -- a genuine treat for that perspective!

I appreciate how you piled up the obstacles, giving Nick and the others more and more things to work through to win a satisfactory conclusion. I enjoyed Schanke's persistence and loyalty, and his thoughtfulness in his own Schanke way.

For a while, I thought that the story must be set before "Close Call," as this Schanke had no memory of his conversation with Lacroix there, in which Lacroix tells Schanke that he and Janette are the only family Nick has. But of course later in the story, you posit that Nick has taken this memory from Schanke. It becomes disturbing, all the times Schanke's memory is manipulated; this Nick does at one point say he doesn't want to hypnotize Schanke, yet he keeps on doing it; then the pattern snaps into place at the very end, when Nick objects to Lacroix messing around in his head -- not unlike what he has done in Schanke's. (There's a lot of mesmerism and such there, and it made me think of Natalie's "You've got to show me how to do that sometime!" enthusiasm for hypnotism in "A Fate Worse Than Death," which I think must be related to her belief that she, as a resister, is immune. It would looks a lot less cool when you knew you were vulnerable! ~g~)

>"You had no right to take this case from us," Reynolds spoke up. "It was being handled objectively with people who have no connections to Mr. Lacroix"
Again, good job piling up the obstacles for the protagonist to fight through on his journey to the end. Cohen and the other detectives are quite right, of course.

>"Schanke’s mouth dropped open and said, “You were having sex with your son and willing to allow your friend to do the same to him?”"
Would it be all right if I admit that I am, personally, right with Schanke in his disturbance? It's one of those "not my cup of Ribena" things, mixing the vocabulary of family heavily with the intentions of sex, even for vampire characters. So I cannot particularly comment on those aspects of your story, and I apologize for that. I hope that people who make their home bases in this genre will come comment on your story for you!

>"I swore vengeance on someone he would come to love"
This evokes the bargain made over Fleur, of course, and so explicitly so that it made me wonder whether this Lacroix had Damianus in mind when he exacted that precise pledge from Nick over his sister in 1229. That adds an interesting layer to the Fleur bargain of which this Nick would have been entirely unaware until these events, that Lacroix was equating Fleur's life with Acacius's death. And the Fleur bargain still stands open over Nick's head...

Also, of course, I wondered whether Divia was in Qa'Ra's sarcophagus, and for how long she had been there, when the original Damianus/Acacius events occurred. The twenty years mentioned was just the duration between Pompeii and the Valley of the Kings, of course, so I am speculating that the Lacroix who encountered those two was coming straight from entombing his daughter-master, whom he had murdered for her designs on him. That doubtless played a large role in his mental state at the time.

Thank you very much for representing the UF/CotK perspective with such a strong construction of the prompt!

Re: "I listen to him on the radio. So, what? I want this case, Captain."

[foxy11814]

Thanks for your lengthy reply and thoughts! I enjoyed reading them.

I cannot particularly comment on those aspects of your story, and I apologize for that. I hope that people who make their home bases in this genre will come comment on your story for you!

That's quite alright. I realize it's not everyone's cup of Ribena, lol. You might find it surprising that in a certain way, I share your uneasiness on the topic. I will not deny that I am a "Cousin," but my stories--when focused on Nick and Lacroix--are generally focused on their familial relationship. I like to write about their father and son relationship. I have never written them as lovers, and yet, I know that most of my fellow Cousins, and therefore my audience, doesn't mind it and some even want it. So, my solution to that problem is to include enough references and hints that the reader can take it any way he or she chooses. Schanke was repulsed at the idea, but one might say Lacroix was, too, and that's why he refused. As you quite accurately stated, what happened in "Ashes to Ashes" had a big influence on how I wanted Lacroix to react to Acacias' advancements, that there would be a price to pay to anyone--no matter who they are (Divia, in mind here)--if they tried to force something on Lacroix, as I had him state in the story. Or, of course, it could simply be that he didn't desire him, and Nicholas, even though he hadn't met him when he was dealing with Acacius, is the only one he desires. And, of course, there is Nick not wanting to discuss the father/son blood sharing with Damianus, and one can say it's because he's repulsed or he simply doesn't want to get into his sexual escapades, since we know Nick is tight-lipped about those kinds of things, generally. It truly is a fine line, but I've found that I'm successful for the most part. With another fic of mine that I've handled in similar manners, I've had people comment that they love how I wrote a Nick & Lacroix story without going into slash father/son themes, while others will remark a few replies down that Nick and Lacroix's desire for each other is obvious. In other words, I used Damianus and Acacius' relationship to allow readers to interpret Lacroix and Nick's relationship as they would. *shrugs* :)

As for your comments on how Nick keeps hypnotizing Schanke, even though he says he doesn't want to and Nick's hypocrisy in the fact that he's mad Lacroix is likewise messing with his mind...well, all I can say is I think Nick is more like Lacroix than he thinks. LOL :)