fic: fanaa/dil se, pg-13
I'll be cross-posting all of these in bolly_fics once I've gotten all of my Fanaa thoughts out of my system in fic-form. It may take a while.
breakdowns & downfalls
fanaa & dil se, rehan & meghna (not paired), pg-13.
I don't own these characters or the events of the films. I brought them together because somebody had to. It's more Fanaa than it is Dil Se, though, and it's SPOILERY for both films.
Rehan met Meghna once. Her eyes were cast down, not shy but afraid, and he felt sorry for her. It was the story of so many girls but even their crowd never spoke of it. No one did. But just from the look in her eyes, always either distant or panicked, he could tell.
"She's damaged," her brother told Rehan's grandfather, when he had suggested matrimony.
"Martyrdom is her marriage now," Grandfather said then, nodding.
"Why do you look like that?" Meghna's brother asked, turning to Rehan and his Western clothes, his fashionable hair-cut.
Rehan didn't answer because he knew that in his disguise he was going to outlive everyone and see liberation happen by his own hands. He didn't need to put on certain clothes or grow a beard for Allah to be on his side.
He looked at Meghna, but she was ignoring everything around her and then excused herself, flour to grind, clothing to wash.
No one could reach her and Rehan envied her for that. She'd die in glory because she saw none while here on earth.
**
When Rehan hears about Meghna the next time, he's angry. Leave a foolish girl to fill such an important task on a mission, of course she'll completely fuck it up. The story of Meghna is a story of failure. It was supposed to be grand, 50 years of India blown to smithereens at the parade. The most surprising turn of events, the girl with explosives attached to her body is hauled off somewhere by her Indian lover, and three hours later when the parade is over, they're found. In pieces. Ashes. No one celebrated that night.
He's as angry as Grandfather when he hears about Meghna, and sometimes it's odd how his moods reflect his Grandfather's, how it's been that way for a long time, how it's nearly always been that way.
Meghna's is a story of failure and Rehan doesn't want to be a failure.
**
It's years and years until Rehan thinks of Meghna again.
Late in the evening, he lies on his bed and his heart is beating so fast he can't fall asleep. He thinks of Zooni, and pretends his heart is beating because of the mission, the day when the bomb is set off is drawing closer and closer. He needs more time and yet what he really needs is less of it.
Zooni is reaching him, getting under his skin in a way he's grown to like. Zooni surprises him and fascinates him and terrifies him because she's so willing and trusting. Because he could break her so easily (almost as if she doesn't care that he could) but he doesn't want to.
Zooni is reaching inside him and pulling out the real Rehan, and she doesn't even need eyes to do that, she just needs to be there. He wants her, and not just in the way he's wanted other women, other girls, and it's scary, absolutely terrifying.
Meghna was hard to reach, but she fell and someone fell for her. Even though she was too far in and hopeless and everything Rehan thinks he is. Knows he is. He saw a dream where Zooni was holding him and he knew the bomb would go off, and then he just pushed her away. Saved her, even though what he really wanted to do was hold her. Destroy her with him, not care.
He does care - that's the problem. He wants Zooni to be there and yet he wants her away, wants her happy without him, with him, whichever, both. He's made of contradictions. He didn't use to be that way. Things were simple before Zooni came along.
Meghna's is a story of failure and Rehan doesn't want to be a failure, but Zooni is reaching and pulling, dragging him out. Rehan is falling.
He has already failed.
breakdowns & downfalls
fanaa & dil se, rehan & meghna (not paired), pg-13.
I don't own these characters or the events of the films. I brought them together because somebody had to. It's more Fanaa than it is Dil Se, though, and it's SPOILERY for both films.
Rehan met Meghna once. Her eyes were cast down, not shy but afraid, and he felt sorry for her. It was the story of so many girls but even their crowd never spoke of it. No one did. But just from the look in her eyes, always either distant or panicked, he could tell.
"She's damaged," her brother told Rehan's grandfather, when he had suggested matrimony.
"Martyrdom is her marriage now," Grandfather said then, nodding.
"Why do you look like that?" Meghna's brother asked, turning to Rehan and his Western clothes, his fashionable hair-cut.
Rehan didn't answer because he knew that in his disguise he was going to outlive everyone and see liberation happen by his own hands. He didn't need to put on certain clothes or grow a beard for Allah to be on his side.
He looked at Meghna, but she was ignoring everything around her and then excused herself, flour to grind, clothing to wash.
No one could reach her and Rehan envied her for that. She'd die in glory because she saw none while here on earth.
**
When Rehan hears about Meghna the next time, he's angry. Leave a foolish girl to fill such an important task on a mission, of course she'll completely fuck it up. The story of Meghna is a story of failure. It was supposed to be grand, 50 years of India blown to smithereens at the parade. The most surprising turn of events, the girl with explosives attached to her body is hauled off somewhere by her Indian lover, and three hours later when the parade is over, they're found. In pieces. Ashes. No one celebrated that night.
He's as angry as Grandfather when he hears about Meghna, and sometimes it's odd how his moods reflect his Grandfather's, how it's been that way for a long time, how it's nearly always been that way.
Meghna's is a story of failure and Rehan doesn't want to be a failure.
**
It's years and years until Rehan thinks of Meghna again.
Late in the evening, he lies on his bed and his heart is beating so fast he can't fall asleep. He thinks of Zooni, and pretends his heart is beating because of the mission, the day when the bomb is set off is drawing closer and closer. He needs more time and yet what he really needs is less of it.
Zooni is reaching him, getting under his skin in a way he's grown to like. Zooni surprises him and fascinates him and terrifies him because she's so willing and trusting. Because he could break her so easily (almost as if she doesn't care that he could) but he doesn't want to.
Zooni is reaching inside him and pulling out the real Rehan, and she doesn't even need eyes to do that, she just needs to be there. He wants her, and not just in the way he's wanted other women, other girls, and it's scary, absolutely terrifying.
Meghna was hard to reach, but she fell and someone fell for her. Even though she was too far in and hopeless and everything Rehan thinks he is. Knows he is. He saw a dream where Zooni was holding him and he knew the bomb would go off, and then he just pushed her away. Saved her, even though what he really wanted to do was hold her. Destroy her with him, not care.
He does care - that's the problem. He wants Zooni to be there and yet he wants her away, wants her happy without him, with him, whichever, both. He's made of contradictions. He didn't use to be that way. Things were simple before Zooni came along.
Meghna's is a story of failure and Rehan doesn't want to be a failure, but Zooni is reaching and pulling, dragging him out. Rehan is falling.
He has already failed.