AU-Verse, Lucifer/Anna - Part 1

[fit_for_king]

 
babydoll
Although whomever might enter this certain world of dreams is left completely stationary, the world they'd entered tilts into a violent display of vertigo almost instantly. There's a blinding light, and it seems to be the source of a sort of pain that's beginning to permeate the air, saturate it. It's cold, brilliant, horribly painful and... It's leaving. Falling away in a matter of moments as the stars suddenly begin to shoot past. The temperature rises dramatically, intense and the odd feeling of whiplash might burn in the muscles of your neck briefly. The sensation of falling might grip you, pull you forward, despite still being as still as if you were standing on the earth's crust.

And then all at once, it's gone. Everything is dark, but the world smells.. fresh. There's only a brief reprieve before the movement starts again, and then, everything blacks out completely. Seemingly for good. If you're sensetive to it, you might feel the pull of time moving forward, too quickly, much too quickly to be even considered normal in the least.

The feeling of warmth, familiar love seems to grow from somewhere as the time speeds onward. It grows and grows, almost to a smothering point, and there's a brief moment of utter elation that mixes in, pulls at the heartstrings should anyone be so empathetic. But it moves on all the same.

Cue a hospital room, where a tired looking woman and a nearly equally exhausted man lay and sit respectively. In the womans arms is a pudgy little baby, brand new. But her eyes are open, and the peach fuzz of red hair covers her noggin. Those eyes might be mighty familiar.

Lucifer [vilify]
Lucifer is unnerved by the love. He hasn't felt that since his Fall, and it makes his mind reel. Not for a second does he think, Is this what I gave up. Instead, it inspires a quiet rage that he was thrown aside.

He stops short when he sees the newborn, still red-faced and slightly waxy looking from birth. He stares at her, his expression becoming increasingly pitying.

babydoll
But neither the babe nor her parents seem anything but filled with undiluted elation. The mother murmurs something about her own 'little miracle' and kisses the child's forehead. The woman was never supposed to have children; had been physically incapable; a barren woman.

But then time pulls again, and the child grows up, at least a year. The sound of horribly cries echo into the air, terrified shrieks that are only slightly muted to save the viewer's eardrums. The little redheaded girl, all dressed up in her jammies seems to be pitching a horrid fit. Kicking and screaming, red in the face, tears streaked down her cheeks. She's shaking her head, absoltely terrified about something or other. The man from before; her father is in the far corner of the kitchen looking so horrible hurt by the girl's screams.

As things get a little clearer, the two year old who is crawling into the opposite corner of the room, despite the ability to walk already; is screaming nonsense.

"You're not my daddy! He's going to kill me!" A huge breathe, choked on tears and spit, as it is. "He's angry! H-He'll kill me!" And she holds her arms over her head. The scene begins to fade as the mother moves to join her husband, a few men in professional clothes closing in on the child to coax her down from the hysterics. She won't listen, and eventually they resort to force.

It still takes a good two men and one woman to hold her down enough. The child has unnatural strength.

Lucifer [vilify]
Lucifer instinctively wants to destroy the men. She's his sister and she's in hiding and how dare they touch her? He lifts a hand to throw them aside, but he stops, closes his eyes.

This is all past. He can't stop it now.

He looks at the child, and moves to kneel beside her.

babydoll
The scenery changes, but the child seems to stay in place; the room is no longer the kitchen of a little house, but rather a pastel-shaded, rather empty room with cushions everywhere. Anna, as it is, is still in the state she was before, sans the hysterics. Everyone else is gone. But she's looking right at Lucifer through cry-reddened eyes. She's not fearful, but.. perhaps a little confused.

It's like she can't quite remember who he is. She knows him, but can't remember why.

Lucifer [vilify]
The fact that she's not afraid makes something stir within him. It's not hope--he's incapable of that now--but it's something close.

He smiles at her, perhaps a little sadly. "Anna, what did you get yourself into?"

babydoll
Her baby face is anything but adorable right now. Blotchy red, wet and twisted in confusion. She's empty, but she knows. It's fading, but the knowledge is still there. It's only after a good long minute, that she finally has a glimmer of recognition ingite behind her eyes.

"Lucifer." Her tongue trips over the name, but she knows.

Lucifer [vilify]
He nods, just once, because it's not a good thing that she knows him. "Do you think you'll be safe here with the humans?"

He asks, but he knows the answer. It's not safe anywhere. That's why he exists: he creates the monsters that will hunt her for her flesh, the way the angels will hunt her for her soul.

But someday, he'll carve a new world out of this one's ashes. If she lives that long, if he isn't forced to kill her and the other angels haven't taken her away, maybe then she'll see.

"I would have hidden you. I would have kept you from them forever, Anna."

babydoll
She rubs at her face, wetting her sleeve despite the downpour of tears having long since stopped. She listens though, unable to decide on an answer for his question. She didn't know. She might not live very long, or she might live out her new human life and die an old woman. So many mysteries she was looking forward to.

But she shakes her head at her brother all the same.

"Nothing lasts forever."

Lucifer [vilify]
"We do." For a moment his confidence is gone, because can they really last through eternity? The family can't--it's already failed.

"You know I'll always be here, Anna. Even Dad knew."

babydoll
She tenses at the mention of their father, lips pulling into a tight line. But it doesn't go further. So instead, she changes her words.

"I don't want to last forever." She wants the brief happiness of knowing everything, of feeling everything. Living her life as much as she can.

Lucifer [vilify]
He flinches as if she had thrown something. The idea of not being eternal...he can't even comprehend it. Even the humans at least have their wan little souls to go on after they die.

But his little sister, the one he remembers (albeit vaguely) from before the earth was formed...she wants to end someday.

"Why?" it's barely above a whisper.

babydoll
She tucks her legs up against her chest, arms catching around them. She seems quieter now, the redness fading from her cheeks already. She remembers a lot of things; not everything, but lot. She remembers him from before he fell. She remembers the feelings she'd felt long after he was thrown out. How, despite everything he influenced her choice in the end.

"I want a family that loves me." She pauses, thinking of Rich and Amy, how they loved her in ways that her brothers and sisters never could. It was never the same.

"Everything has an end. I wanted one for myself."

Lucifer [vilify]
He shakes his head this time. "This world will end. But you don't have to." But she wants to. "Things will change. I'll make them better. We all will."

How could she want something more than what they had? They'll never have that back, but they will have something better. He will make sure of it.

But it's that first part he keeps coming back to, more than her desire for a full stop to her life. His voice is hoarse, he has to fight to keep too much emotion from it--rage and grief both. "I love you, Anna."

babydoll
She knows it's he who will bring about the Apocalypse eventually. That he'll come back to the Earth one day; she's not sure why he's here right now, but she knows somehow, that it's not.. real. Not completely, anyway. But he's here now, offering her a better life, a better future. She still doesn't want it.

But she can feel her little heart ache when he speaks again, turning sad eyes back towards him. They'res sympathy there, hurt and guilt. Maybe more.

"It's not enough." He's not enough. One being could never hold a family together. Not for real. Her lip trembles again, eyes watering and she has to look away again. She knows he loves her, all her siblings. But she knows full well he'd kill her without a second thought if she stood in his way. He could never love her like her human family could.

Lucifer [vilify]
For a moment it hurts too much for him to even be angry. He isn't looking at her but at some distant point, at the memory of when their Father said much the same thing: he wasn't good enough. He wasn't worth what the humans were.

He wasn't worth one human soul.

His vision blurs, his eyes stinging and he draws a harsh breath, trying to force it all away.

He'll kill her family first. And then he'll turn them over to Raphael and Uriel and Zachariah so they can punish them for harboring an angel. And he'll make her watch it all.

babydoll
She rubs at her face again, fear etching into the corners of her mind. If she starts crying again, they'll come to check on her again. She can forget on her own, she doesn't need the conditioning. But Lucifer's here and she knows full well she's upset him. Hurt his heart and while she didn't want to, didn't want to make him feel useless or worthless- He wasn't. She loved him, maybe more than some of her other siblings. He'd helped her decide to fall. He was here. And she knew the beginnings of human feelings, of love and compassion and all of it she felt for him right now.

She wants to tell him. But she can't push her words past the lump in her throat. There wouldn't be any point anyway; the scene is changing again, and the little girl of an angel is fading away.

Instead, there's an teenage girl in those awkward years, limbs a little too long, face still forming it's final features and her gait is still just a little clumsy. But she looks so happy. Unbelievably so, running down the stairs as it is and into the kitchen- only to shoo her mother away. Her face is quiet scarlet; she's blushing.

A few minutes pass, the one sided conversation of stuttered words and a harried meeting time before the phone is hung up again. Time pulls again as she turns to her mother to speak, and suddenly she's outside waiting, still practically glowing as it is. She has a crush, and those first-time feelings are threatening to bubble over and explode.

Lucifer [vilify]
Although he's still aching from that last scene--and will be for a long time to come; Lucifer is not good at letting things go--he watches. He recognizes all these feelings, because he had them before the humans were created. That's why he's always wondered why God hated him for it.

He folds his arms, shivering slightly as he chokes down any outward display of emotion. There's a lot to fight down, not the least of it jealousy.

babydoll
Time passes slowly, too slowly. Or maybe it's too quickly. But the sun begins to set right along with that bright, hopeful emotion. It turns chilled, slowly but surely painting itself in shades of blue and gray. Eventually the smile is a foreign concept to her face.

It's not until the sun is almost completely set, leaving shades of dusk and twilight on the horizen that she finally stands to leave. The horrible pangs of hurt and a broken heart permeate all around her as she breaks into a run for, one can assume, home.

Time passes again, pulls and spins around, brief glimpses of red hair and bright smiles, flashes of anger, jealousy, all sorts of emotions flowing through time and space between. All of them coming from different snippets of her life. Lust eventually pulls in, replacing a good majority of whatever admiration that remained. It came and went with guilt, rebellion and other such feelings. All of them strong, scorching hot and; defiant and so unlike anything that Angels were able to feel.

Eventually the hurry of life slows to it's regular pace again, and this time, Anna is as she looks now. In her twenties, hiding in a church, praying to a God that she be kept safe. She knows someone is coming, but the threat isn't enough to keep her scared. She's just.. waiting.

Lucifer [vilify]
What he's learned in those glimpses, the searing flutters of emotion and the echos of words she remembers from years ago, is this: she is his sister. And she, more than those who Fell, is so frighteningly similar to him.

It's the defiance he recognizes most clearly. He may not understand why she rebelled, but he also knows she will never understand the depth of betrayal he felt that led him to do what he has done. There's an understanding there, at least.

He approaches her again, but he's much quieter in his demeanor now. If they were in the real world he would never appear this subdued, this wary. He doesn't want to reach out to her again, but he knows that he will. This is his sister.

"You must have known He wouldn't answer."

babydoll
She flinches slightly when his voice echoes into the room. It's the attic, but it's also where she spent a lot of her time as a child. It's a safe haven, and the sound of another voice is.. Strange.

But she doesn't reject it. Instead, she turns to him, any sort of recognition in her eyes simply.. not there. Anna didn't know this man; for that's all he was. Just a man coming to see her while she hid. He was not who she was vaguely expecting. He was dangerous and yet not. He couldn't hurt her.

But, his question gathers hesitation in her. Eventually she shrugs a shoulder.

"It's more of a habit now, I guess." She considered herself a christian, believed that God existed and furthermore. But not that he cared like people wanted him to. That he wouldn't be the one to come save her from being hunted. Though Anna would never tell her family these things.

Lucifer [vilify]
"I used to pray to Him, too." He moves closer, it's the cautious-confident steps a tiger might take. "But only to curse Him. To beg Him to change his mind."

He sighs, looks somewhere up at the ceiling, and resumes pacing. "After a while I grew out of it. For the best, I think, since He stopped answering when He became bored with playing with you all. Do you remember the story of Job, Anna?"

babydoll
Anna is... taken a little aback by his words. Conviction, almost.. She wouldn't call it contempt, but something similar. To hear it in such a place was strange- though not unheard of. People just didn't.. normally do it. He sets her in unease, the icy prickle of fear coiling in her veins, though it's dim. She watches him pace.

"Vaguely..." How did he know her name? She'd never seen him in the church before; though most people who did visit knew who she was by default. She'd never heard someone speak as he did though. As if she were part of something beneath him- as if he weren't a human like she.

Lucifer [vilify]
"It was His idea." He examines a painting, touches it with his finger and brushes the dust that comes away at his touch. "The real story was. He wanted to see if the Devil could tempt Job. He wanted to prove to the Devil that humans were loyal, good creatures."

He turns to look at her, expression a little baffled. "What Father would submit their child to torture on a bet? But" he points up "He did."

babydoll
She knows, vaguely. The story had started with God pitting the Devil against Job, in a sense. Testing him, the righteous man. In the end, Job had fallen, though he put up quite a fight.

She didn't know what to say. What could she? God had done that, and she had always assumed he'd had his reasons. Didn't everyone? He'd tested man, and because of the fall, everyone seemed to, eventually.

She wants to ask; who is he? Why was he here? But something makes her hold her tongue, makes her want to cower into a corner. What was he getting at? Most Christians knew the story...

Lucifer [vilify]
Lucifer waits to see what she'll say. He doesn't mind that she says nothing; he isn't expecting anything from her this time. Nothing except revulsion and fear, when she finds out who he is. She's already halfway there, he can see her instincts and that hidden part of her that knows him cowering.

"How would you feel if your father let someone--a stranger, an old friend--blind you and murder your lover, just to see if you'd keep loving him?" As willing as Lucifer had been to take the bet, it had only made him hate God more. "There is no one God hasn't betrayed, Anna. If you never learn anything else, I want you to remember that." Another pause. "When your parents die, their souls will be at the mercy of jealous sadists."

babydoll
The tight coil of fear in her belly rises, crawling up her spine and gripping her throat from the inside. Her breath grows choppy as she listens. How could someone speak like that? In theory, she supposed, it.. could be true. That he had tested many people, so many- and all of them had fallen. So when he's done speaking, talking of her parents in a way that makes her ill.. She rallies her courage and pipes up again.

"But he loves us. Even if we forsake him, he doesn't stop loving." A beat. "He can't give us what we want, or make us do anything. He gives us the opportunity to prove oursevlves. Not- Not everyone does, but we try."

Lucifer [vilify]
Lucifer's expression is sympathetic, as if he's about to break bad news about the Easter bunny to a particularly bright four year old. "He doesn't love me, Anna.

"The things he allowed to happen to Job...the things he did to the Egyptians, the Hebrews, they are nothing to what he has planned for me." Does she know him yet? His wings are just barely visible in the dark.

babydoll
Some part of her knows. It's not even the Angel in her, buried deep within her subconscious; though she knows full well but won't react. She can't, nor does she want to. The human Anna, who lives in the forefront can feel it. The danger, the radiance, can always connect two and two together. She can see shadows of something behind him, but her mind won't let her know what they are. Not yet. Not completely.

"He loves everyone. He loves you, too." There's an odd sense of conviction in her voice. She believed, in theory, that even the Devil was loved. He was one of God's sons, one of his Angels and no matter what, he would be loved. Even if he were being punished for his wrong-doings.

Lucifer [vilify]
"I wish you were right," he whispers, but of course he doesn't believe her. He knew God better than any Angel ever did, and he knows just how much his Father hates him now.

"But it doesn't matter anymore. God has left the building." A wry smile. "There's no one up there but a lot of confused angels. You know, when your mother was a little girl, she lived next to a pack of dogs. The neighbors kept them chained up and underfed. One day, the neighbors went out of town and the dogs got out." A shrug. "They went mad without their master and they mauled a small boy in the park."

That was heaven now: just a bunch of crazed dogs tearing at one another.

babydoll
There's a brief pang there, even if she barely hears the whispered words; they still echo in the large room. She felt.. Sorry for him. As if she couldn't find the will to argue against his words and just simply.. resigned to it with him. It was a strange feeling.

It's the story of her mother's childhood that makes her shift gears again. She knew the story in a sense, but how could he have known it. Her mother hadn't broadcast it, and while he looked old enough to have been childhood friends with them... It didn't seem right. Something clicked and suddenly, Anna was very much afraid again.

Her breathing pitched, gaze glued to him, to the almost not-there shadows behind him, massive and untouchable. The emotion tore across her features, limbs shutting down as she tried to back away. This was the Devil. Lucifer was on Earth; had she been wrong? Had the Angels been wrong? Had Lilith already broken the seals needed to free him?

None of it seemed important anymore- at least not for Lucifer to concern himself with. The pull of time was back again, ripping the scene away. This time was slower however, the bits and pieces of what might have been only a few days time blurring together. Fear eventually left, almost completely, recognition returned, disappointment, an utter wish for things to be different. Spikes of lust and carnal fulfillment and Winchester rolled past in a brief moment as well, but it was gone again. Time slowed enough to show a few brief comments between Uriel, Castiel and the demons. Alistair, with a bloodied Ruby between his cronies in tow. He wanted Anna. Wanted to play with her like he had Ruby; to bleed and cut and torture her upon the rack for hundreds of years. To pick apart her brain and glue it back together again.
But the fight ensued, the whirlwind of Anna's emotions clouding over everything; over Castiel's confused anger and hurt towards her, over Uriel's disgust and contempt, over Alistair's want. Her own emotions were thick, potent. She didn't want this, she wanted to leave, to run and hide and never be found. But there was finality there. Something she had come to terms with, despite every particle of her being rejecting the decision.

She lunged when Uriel was distracted, grabbed her grace and smashed it to the ground; her brother was furious, but even he knew there was nothing that could be done now.

A horrible sadness welled within Anna as she saw the ethereal ghost of her Grace, as it coiled and pulled towards her, despite the physical step back she took from it. But there was a soft, almost missable sense of calm there too. She wasn't afraid; she knew her grace better than anyone could ever imagine. But pain overtook everything as it filled her, filled the vessel to it's breaking point and then some, finally ripping the human body down to the atom- taking out Alistair's vessel in the process. But she was gone almost instantly. And so was the setting.

Instead, they were in the ocean- though it didn't seem to be any different for Lucifer than if he were standing on land-- where Anna had hidden herself. As deep as she could, hidden from the world, from the Angels. She was calling for someone, Gabriel, as it was. But it didn't seem like he was answering the hotline.

Lucifer [vilify]
Although Lucifer has allowed millions of people--billions even--to be tortured, no one, no demon or angel or God is allowed to touch his siblings. The thought of Alistair nearly spurred him to action but it was all gone too fast, and he had to chide himself again for getting too wrapped up in this.

It's a dream. It's only a dream.

He felt a surge of pride, ebbed quickly by panic, when he saw her take on Uriel. He doesn't blink or look away as the grace rushed back to her. He has never seen this, and it's awe-inspiring. That's what they are inside. He's known that, of course, but to see it from the outside....

He answers her, because he's not sure if this is before or after he killed their brother. The thought of it fills him with something so close to remorse it's like he's reached inside and pulled himself inside out. It hurts to breathe.

"I don't think he can answer you." It still hurts, but he looks at her and refuses to turn away, no matter how agonizingly grief-stricken he is.

babydoll
Fortunately or not, though neither Anna nor Lucifer would know at this point, Gabriel was still alive. He was simply turned off- none of his calls would go through. It would end up with Anna physically seeking him out for his help.

But Lucifer's arrival has her Grace thrumming, gaze turning towards him, his vessel, so very small by comparison. Anna may have coiled around herself as much as she could, but she was still a dozen times larger. And when she speaks, it's genderless, no longer the voice of Anna Milton, but of Anafiel. She speaks in Enochian, though Lucifer would have no trouble understanding that.

"Why are you here." She's not angry, though the cold emotion vibrates her grace; it's a deep set, simmering upset. She doesn't like this, the predicament. The fact that she's vesselless, trapped and waiting like a sitting duck. What right did Lucifer have to visit her, even in her dreams as it were. What could he possibly want from her. To mock her for taking it back? For doing it for the humans? To protect herself?

She felt foolish- or as foolish as an Angel could truly feel.

Lucifer [vilify]
He can feel her regret--is it shame? He still has no clear idea what that's like. But he peers up at her, so much smaller but no less dangerous because of his confining vessel. Still, the only expression he offers her is one of invitation.

"I'm here because I want to understand you, Anafiel." One of his smiles. "That's all I've ever wanted when I've visited you." Because understanding fosters affection, which fosters loyalty, which leads to another Fall. But his motives are out of love for her--ignore the hate for their Father and the humans and his ideals are pure.

babydoll
She doesn't feel any more powerful in front of him as he is, never to worry. As imposing as her true form may be, blinding even down here in the depths of the oceans- she's still smaller, weaker, less radiant that the Morning Star himself.

She turns her gaze from him all the same however. His hatred for their father, for their brothers and sisters; not just the humans. The were their family as much as she was his sister. It's that hatred that leaves her unable to even stomach the thought of joining him. She's hurt, scared and still half heartedly calling to Gabriel through her mind, hoping he'll hear her, help her like he'd once promised. Though she's more than careful to keep it a direct line- no one else would be able to hear.

"What's there to understand? I fell. I chose the life I wanted more, and now I'm hunted for it." She paused, letting herself simply float in the icy depths. "I took it back so I could fight. Help stop Lilith from setting you free." Because as much as she loves him, she doesn't want him back. Not here. Not now. He'll destroy everything she loves, she knows things, but she doesn't want them. She's rebelling to do what's right, in her mind.

As much as Lucifer finds it right to rid the world of the humans, she finds the opposite as true as anything.

Lucifer [vilify]
The only reason he doesn't attack her now is because there's no point. He's right; he doesn't need to hurt her to prove it. It's the same reason he doesn't ever lie, trick, or cheat.

"I hope you understand the reality of things now," he answers after a moment. He reaches out a hand and touches her for the first time since entering this dream. It's her real form, it's the one he loves, and he doesn't fear her trying to push him away. All he is offering right now is comfort.

"I have been hunted, too. You know that."

babydoll
It's a dream, and she knows full well it is. Simply a memory she's reliving and he's visiting, indulging in for the first time. It might be a personal step into her boundaries that she doesn't like, but there's nothing to be done.

But this is a dream, so a little indulgence in her own way is .. acceptable. She can't help it. She's upset, she doesn't want him to be there, but he's the only being she's seen or heard from in days. Weeks- even twenty five years as a human is enough to condition her to the impatience of time. So when he reaches out and touches, she doesn't recoil or tug her grace away. Instead she leans into it, reaches out for his own- however confined as it is inside his vessel- reaches for his wings, to almost curl around and submerge herself in the hidden glow of her brother. Though in reality, she'd barely moved.

He'd been hunted as she was. But he had been locked away, alive. There were differences, similarities.. She didn't want to compare, to call herself similar to Lucifer, despite how true it was. She doesn't speak. Instead, she simply basks in his presense, tense as it might be. It wasn't enough, but it was something.

Lucifer [vilify]
He hasn't actually doled out comfort in so long it takes him a while how to remember. He's good at empathy, he always has been, but he's been locked away alone. The closest thing he's had to company were the echoes of demon voices, and he loathes them all.

But after a moment, he draws her closer in the same unmoving way she leaned into him, and his presence--his grace--curls protectively around her, soothing her. It's a different version of the comfort humans offer; angels don't stroke hair, they simply offer raw sensation.

"What will you try to do to me now that I am free, sister?"

babydoll
She doesn't pull away like she thought she might have, when he spoke. She's content to simply lay in the cocoon he's made for her, to soak in the familiarity- something she'd missed for over two decades. Deny it as she might, her Angelic status, she still.. missed her family.

What would she do? She wouldn't fight him- not here or now. She knew the difference between reality and a dream. But what would she do?

"You aren't free. Not yet. Not in this time." When she finally does reply, it's just a hum of a whisper. "But when you are.." She hesitates, pulling herself away lest she be tossed aside instead. Either way, the tug of time was crawling closer again. "I'll stand with the humans. You know that."

Lucifer [vilify]
He sighs. The sensation now is the equivalent of if he'd buried his face in her hair, held her tighter. He's resigned to what she says, but he can't stop wishing she would change her mind.

"When it's all over, I hope you forgive me, Anafiel." Again, the equivalent of a hand stroking her cheek. "And if you can't, I hope you will learn to live with me again." To love him as family again; but he doesn't say that out loud. There's no point. He's resigned to that.

babydoll
Though her grace hums with a reply, it goes unheard as time pulls him away again, the wash of the ocean crashing away only to be set aside, surrounding the city. The image is too quick to be considered normal, and though it's clearer, it's still nothing to stop and ponder over. The sudden wave of betrayal that comes and goes with it is stifling. There's the overwhelming fear again, as it had been as a child though with the addition of grace it's both multiplied ten fold and subdued to a dull roar. Anna's there, two Garrison dogs flank her, each of her arms tight in their grasp. There's only a brilliant flash of light and the murmur of 'you shouldn't have come' that lingers whilst the image is washed away again.

There's nothing to see here, and yet everything. Home. Heaven, though it's hardly the places she would have visited should she have gone on her own free will. Instead there's blinding pain, the horribly crushing weight of betrayal that slowly builds and builds, turns to anger, brinks towards insanity. But it continues, pushes on until something seems to snap and the image falls into focus.

Her grace is shredded, dimmed and bloodied- were it possible for Grace to bleed. The equivilent of such is much worse. She won't move. Refuses to do anything more than wait and wait and wait. Her thoughts roll, most of them make no sense, though they continue through her at breakneck speed.

Sam Winchester. She'd take him and tear him apart, hide all the little pieces across the universe. Piece by piece she'd tear him down, make sure he'd never be useable again. She was sorry for it, somewhere. For the idea. But it was too good- too sure-fire. This had to be the solution. Had to be. There was nothing else but this- her last chance. She'd take care of it and finish it once and for all. Had to had to had to.

Lucifer [vilify]
He is yanked along with each change, as helpless as a feather in a tornado, although he feels the same helpless blinding rage as before. When he sees her come into focus he's sickened, he's still trying to gather his thoughts after their time in the ocean and they did this to her--how could they?

Because of him, he knows. Because they refuse to let another Lucifer happen. Never mind that no one could ever be what he is, least of all Anna.

But when he sees her goals, the protectiveness, the love, they have to be pushed aside. He will not let anything happen to Sam. No one will touch that vessel, no matter how much he loves her. And so he appears again, with the lazy half-smirk half-smile that comes so easily to him.

"I think you need to look at your choices, sister."

babydoll
There's no hesitance in her when she hears his voice again. She turns, lashes at him, though it wouldn't have much effect. This is a dreamworld, and originally, he'd never been there. But it doesn't stop her from trying once, twice, before simply cowering back.

"I won't let you have him. You won't." Her voice, though clearly still her own true chime, is raw and coarse. As if she'd been screaming for eons had had barely any sound left to call a voice. She wouldn't let him; she'd stand in his way, whatever it took. She would not let it end, let the world end. Scream Michael and the others. They could take their prophesized Apocalypse and shove it.

Like some sort of wild animal backed into a corner, she waits. Waits for the retaliation with bated breath.

Lucifer [vilify]
Because she doesn't hit him, he doesn't react immediately. He reaches up to touch his stubbled jaw, as if making sure she didn't scratch or dent it, and then he looks at her. He doesn't take to being threatened; no one sane would ever threaten Lucifer.

But he can still see her raw and tortured grace, and Lucifer shakes his head once. "I didn't do this to you, Anafiel. Don't you remember me?" He knows that whatever brief, false moments they've had here matter more to him (they're probably more real to him, as he's not the dreamer) but he takes a gamble on it.

"Tell me who did this to you."

babydoll
Confusion seems to slow her short frenzy to a halt; why hadn't he relatiated? Turned back against her when she'd mouthed off? It didn't make sense, but it seemed enough to draw her back down to whatever sanity she still had left within her.

She knows who he is. What he'll do if she doesn't stop him- it nearly riles her up again just to think of it, she can't let it-- But she remembers. The moments within the dreams, memories that he'd invaded-- visited. She remembers, but it doesn't change her view.

"He who threw thou to the pit." She spits, falling back on the old speech purposefully. The mere thought of him had her glancing towards the cell's exit, as if expecting him to reenter at any moment. He didn't, and wouldn't.. And sooner or later, the door would open for her, thought to have been restructured like a good little Angel.

Lucifer [vilify]
This is what Michael has become, then. Lucifer looks at the cell, hurt and smug at the same time. He'd known this was how it would go, he'd told them. He wasn't above rubbing that in their faces before he killed them.

"I can't let you harm my vessel," he says absently. "But I do not want to kill you, Anna."

Her last chance: give up this plan, or die.

babydoll
There it was. The frustration spiking again, setting her off like a flare. The dimness her Grace had become suddenly pulsed brighter with vengeance; she fully intended to take him on, here and now. At least if she died, then there would be no need for her to keep fighting. Michael refused to let her end, wanted to keep her alive and reprogram her for further use. She was slowly falling into it.

But whatever she'd been planning on doing was cut short like a cover snuffing out a candle. She jerked back, once more cowering in a corner, despite her hackles still raised, her Grace flaring weakly. Michael was coming back.

But there would be no reunion there for the brothers, it seemed, since time was pulling again. The distance was short, a few glimpses of Anna, san as she seemed- reunited with her Vessel again, snooping in on Dean's own mind. A brief, unheard conversation; she wanted to see him.

There was a silent plea there, her grace, though still shredded, tattered as it was, still reached out to Dean there. He would never know, though. Time moved on, a few snippets of a rather uneventful meeting with Castiel, a flash of memory within from Anna's behalf. She'd killed Uriel for him, their littlest brother. But she held only contempt for him now. Even still, however, her grace reached out, silently begging, but either Castiel never sensed it, or he simply ignored it on principle.

It wasn't until, with a burst of frustration and a short tug of agony that time was oddly.. reversed. Flowing forward, yet yanked further back than they had even started. Time travel always did leave an Angel weak. Even Archangels felt the strain. But despite the mustaches and horrible clothing she moved on. She had someone to meet. Two someone's preferably.
One last blip in time, a voice mocked over her own to lure out a certain John Winchester- and inevitably, his wife. If she couldn't have Sam, then she would go further up the chain. Kill the source. And here she was, lying like it was second nature. Come Uriel, kill the humans that would one day kill you. There was a sick sort of glee hidden in her eyes as she spoke. The first Angel to truly lie in a long time.

But there would be no moment to speak to her again- they'd made their move. John was of no use, so he was tossed aside. It was Mary she wanted. Without Mary, the boys would never be born. But Sam was stepping in the way and she wasn't having any of it; weakened or not, it wasn't diffficult to overpower the human, skewering him with a broken lead pipe like it was nothing. She wanted Mary. Dead. And she was so close...

"I'm sorry." She was, ironically. She wished earnestly that things could have been different. That things didn't have to be so chaotic for the entire Winchester family. But it was, and she was finally going to finish this before it could begin. Hand raised, it was her name on an unfamiliar voice that halted her.

Michael had touched down, to Earth no less. One John Winchester stood behind her, called her attention and the moment she turned? Grabbed a hold of her grace and burned it in his fist. The scene blacked out to emptiness as Anna did, vessel burned, literally, to a crisp.

It's only after a few moments of nothing, that feeling starts to return. Of loneliness, resignation and calm. Anna, as she is now, steps out of nowhere in particular to join her second eldest brother. She doesn't speak. If anything, she looks.. blank. Unwilling to even try.

Lucifer [vilify]
Now that he knows it all, beginning to end, he's at a loss for words. Lucifer is not used to endings; he always pushes on, eternally restless. The calm he sees in her is reassuring. He doesn't want to kill her, and if John Winchester has somehow made her give up, so much the better.

But he doesn't like the hollow, defeated look in her eyes, either.

There's nothing to be gained by fighting here. He just holds her gaze for a while, and then reaches out and rubs his thumb against her cheek.

babydoll
Well, it hadn't been John in the forefront at the time, but you get the idea. The silence stretches on, the younger of the two unwilling to speak in the first place. What would she say? There's nothing to be said as far as she's concerned. She got the ending she dreamed of, but sometimes.. She wonders where it all went wrong. Would things have been different if she hadn't started hearing the Angels? If Dean Winchester hadn't been pulled out of hell, would she have been able to stay dormant and live out the rest of her life as a human? There was no way of knowing.

She doesn't shy away nor lean into the touch, as oddly gentle as it is. She doesn't even lift her eyes to look at him, instead staring somewhere off past his arm.

Lucifer [vilify]
"It's over now," he says quietly. He doesn't try to get her to look at him, although he doesn't turn his attention anywhere but on her. "You get to rest now."

If she wanted. She doesn't seem as thrilled as one would imagine, and he finds satisfaction in that. "Did you get the family you wanted?"

babydoll
The only reason she's here, is because there's still someone in her subconscious. Still someone she has to take care of, in a sense, before she can rest. She doesn't know this, but then, she doesn't really care either.

Still, her voice stays silent. But his words, pulling back so many memories, decades prior.. She can feel the sting in her nose, the lump in her throat as her eyes simply well over and spill. There's no hitched breath, no childlike sobs as if she were an infant once more- there was only one chance for that, but she's crying none the less.

No. She hadn't. She'd lost her families. No matter what she did nor who she turned to, there had been no one. Lucifer had offered, but had she've chosen to side with him... She couldn't bare it. She couldn't turn her back on everything like that. Though, admitedly, she probably would have found her end much sooner.

Lucifer [vilify]
He pulls her against him, wings and arms around her. It is true, she would have lost everything if she'd gone with him. He won't admit that, even if he'd been able to skip ahead and see that What If to its end. In his mind he will always insist that she wouldn't have lost him, and when he won, he would have taken her with him back home.

No use now. Even he doesn't know what will happen to her once this dream is over.

He is barely aware of how tight he's holding her now.

babydoll
It takes her a moment, but in the end she lifts her arms back around him. The sensation of both his wings curling over her own, and the very human embrace has her seemingly caught at both ends of the spectrum. But it doesn't seem to deter her from putting pressure into her grip. Like the time beneath the ocean's waves, she indulged a little. There was nothing after death for an Angel. No Heaven or Hell for them to be sent to, and it was a mystery whether they would end up in Purgatory, either. Perhaps they just simply... ceased to exist.

Eventually her tears seem to wane, though she doesn't make a move to pull away. If anything, she's reaching out more, the same as she had done to Dean, to Castiel; silently begging for something, for help or reassurance, anything. Something to let her know she wasn't alone anymore.

Lucifer [vilify]
He doesn't know that what he's feeling is fear for her. Fear is something he evokes in others, exploits even. And there's frustration because he is utterly helpless. If God won't help her, who will? Who can? He's finally getting through to her and the moment he leaves, she'll be gone. Erased from existence.

His mind, always so full of plans and goals and ideas, begins to churn. There has to be a way.

"I want to help you," he murmurs, with a confidence he has no right to have because wanting something is a far cry from being capable of doing it.

babydoll
She's quiet for a good, long moment after he speaks. Why would he want to? After all the trouble she'd caused, slowing things down, interfering and while slowing things down was better than nothing.. She'd only ended up making things worse.

There's no looking up from his chest as she breaks her vow of silence.

"There's only one person that can resurrect an Angel." And if Dear old Dad wasn't pissed enough with her as it is, if he hadn't already brought her back, then. Well. What hope did she have? An Archangel wasn't strong enough to do the impossible.

...But it didn't stop the faint prick of hope within her.

Lucifer [vilify]
There's no one he can count on for help. Especially with this. Presumably, there is still one angel who can talk to God, but Lucifer has begun to doubt even that. Somewhere over the past ten thousand years, God stopped talking.
"I will find Him."

He was going to have to eventually as it was. Michael was lauded as the End of the Line, the one thing that would stop Lucifer. But that wasn't true at all, and never had been. Michael's betrayal had damn well gutted Lucifer, but the falling out with God...that haunted him still.

And that was why he intended to kill the old man when he found him. But he could put off the patricide long enough to make him bring back Anna.

babydoll
Her grip slackened ever so slightly. He would seek out Dad and have him bring her back? Even for Lucifer, that seemed simply suicidal. Then again, he had more of a chance of findinf him. He'd actually seen his face; Anna had no idea what to expect.

But it wasn't a great plan. It wasn't even an okay plan. So she shook her head, minute but there.

"I have my ending, Lucifer. Even if I did come back, it wouldn't matter. Our family would still be-" Not the same, torn apart, in ruins, slaughtering each other. She didn't want that. She didn't want to be an Angel again. She wanted to stay as she had been, happy and unawares. Wouldn't it have been better?

Lucifer [vilify]
Even after seeing it all, even experiencing some of the feelings she'd had, he still couldn't fathom what she was saying. That inability to grasp the human condition summed him up, top to bottom.

"Not all of us would be," he said, low and cajoling. "I would still be there, Anna. I could make things better than they were."

He tucks his head down, whispers close to her ear, "Stay with me."

babydoll
Angels were stubborn, but none were as well versed in both sides of spectrum as she. The recolection of so many emotions she could barely feel now still reeled in her mind. Familiarized and habitual; she couldn't deny them as well as she liked, even dulled as they were. There was no way to force another to understand them, either. She'd tried with Castiel, tried to urge him in the right direction... It hadn't worked, as she'd figured.

But then he's offering again, again like he had before, and this time she wants to say Yes. She wants to hide away in his Grace forever and let the world pass as it should. She's tired of fighting, of wanting the one thing she'll never be able to have. Tired of being chasticed for wanting anything in the first place. Lucifer won't chide her for it. As long as she doesn't hinder him. It would be so easy. Instead, she closes her eyes and presses her forehead to his chest.

It isn't fair. She wants to explode in anger and throw a fit, break things and tear at the ground to let out her frustrations, but none of it would matter. She can't find the will to even let her arms drop from around him. But...

What other choice was there? Her death had found nothing but empty, loneliness, leading to simply.. not existing. All her family gone, back turned towards her, swords drawn should she get too close. But here was Lucifer with open arms, arms already wrapped around her. She's at a loss. A turning point she can't seem to decide on.

Lucifer [vilify]
He has seen so many moments like this over the years, and every one of them has had its own peculiar charm. Getting Adam and Eve to fall had been vindicating. Getting a priest to dive into temptation had been exhilerating.

Getting Anna to stay with him, to even consider it, shakes up a hope and anticipation he hasn't felt in several million years. He instinctively knows it's in his best interests to push that away, but he doesn't. He just kisses the top of her head and lets her think, lets her bask in his grace.

babydoll
She's riding the fence, admittedly. There are pros and cons to either side. But really, what other choice does she have? She could say no and simply .. stop existing, or say yes and have someone there who would love her, be her family like she'd always wanted. But that also meant she would have done more than just fall. More than just rebel. She would have gone down the path that Uriel had gone, that demons and many humans a like had gone. It meant forsaking everything she stood for, cared for. She didn't think herself ever able to help wipe out the race she had so much unrequited love for. But if she said yes and did nothing... Then guilt would eat her alive. It wasn't in an Angel's nature to be selfish.

But Anna had experience with many emotions, the yearning for something- just for herself... She knew it well. The scale had tipped, her arms deliberating between pulling back and holding tighter. She was giving up the fight; hadn't her path been paved with enough good intentions already?

Lucifer [vilify]
And Lucifer would have told her that it was very much in their nature--their true nature, before God had stripped them down. The things she felt were hers and he wouldn't let anyone dull them or take them.

When he feels her arms tighten around him, he's still surprised. Too shocked, in fact, to feel that old familiar sense of accomplishment. And even when that gives way to something more pleasant, he remembers that Anna has always belonged with him. Of course she chose to come with him.

"We will be at peace," he promises quietly, his stubbled jaw just brushing against her cheek as he speaks. "You'll be happy with me, Anna."

babydoll
Her vessel flinches slightly against the rough five 'o clock shadow, but it seems to be enough to prompt her to actually move. She untucks her arms from around him and brings them up to cup his face instead. She studies him, looking past the vessel's dull blue eyes to the sun-bright grace behind it. And she really looks, taking in the little details she'd never had a chance to see before.

This time she doesn't just reach out with her own grace, she grabs for his, her own wings, though only a single pair and smaller than any of his own, seem to be just fine curling under the cocoon of his. It's as if she's filling the empty spaces she'd purposefully left open, letting herself get close to him where previously she would have never dreamed of it. There was still the niggling thread of guilt hanging to her grace like tinsel on a tree, but everything seemed.. Oddl alright. No explosions, no wrath of Dad or Michael or even Zachariah reigning down on her for finally choosing a side. Maybe she would be, finally, happy with him.

[ Part 2 Here ]