In which she is shocked...

[firestar182]

Today I found out that someone I go to high school with committed suicide. Wow, what a sentence to start a journal post with, huh? And I didn't know her well, not hardly at all. She was older than I am and I was actually in the same grade with her younger brother. But we went to church together and camp together and basically grew up together

Comments

[jediabicus]

we talked about this already, I believe, so you know my thoughts on it. suicide is a very selfish answer to your problems. people spend so much time trying to escape their problems instead of dealing with them, which leads to alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide... sometimes even something as simple as pushing people away who really love and care about you, because you just can't deal with it. but I do think you're right. if you don't have people there telling you we love you, we need you, we want you around... maybe it just overwhelms you. I don't really know. I've never wanted to kill myself, so I don't know. I want to live my life, and cutting it short on purpose seems to be a really awful idea, personally.

I hope her family is alright. I'm sure they are far from done grieving.

[firestar182]

You know, I wouldn't want to leave my life in the worst of times because I guess in the end...I always have hope that things are going to get better. Why not live my life and die in peace knowing that I did all the things I wanted and I loved all the people I could and I am dying in a state of good will and it's my time.

Like I eluded to before, even when my life has been the worst and things have been the blackest I've always thought about the other people that would be so sad if I was gone and I just couldn't do it to them...to you guys, my friends, family. There have been times when I haven't cared if I lived or died but I can't imagine my poor mother...it's too much for her, and I wouldn't do that to her.

Anyway, it's a permanent solution to a temporary(most likely fixable) problem.