If I don't write this down I'll go completely bat-shit insane.

Oh, too late, I already am.

( I don't recommend you read this. You will hate me. )

Do you see this man? This is the man I am going to marry. His name is Gustav Klaus Wolfgang Schafer, he's German, Virgo, nineteen years old, he plays the drums in a popular band, he has a cat and a dog, big chocolatey brown eyes, and he is extremely smexy. Sorry, Alex. Well, okay, I'm kidding about the marriage part, because I am so totally ( Read more... )

I waited too long and I no longer have the courage.

( Enough )

I have not wanted to get married this much since I was three years old.

I've been thinking. A lot. This can be good and bad. Deep thinking makes me depressed and when I am depressed I do a lot of deep thinking. But it also helps clarify things for me, you know, it helps me to understand myself better. I mostly think on Alex. Other trains of though include, "MommywhereareyouIwantmyMommy", "ShitshitIhavehomeworkshit", " ( Read more... )

I came to a realization today on the subject of the last entry. Had I gone to Kingsview, instead of Ridgeview, I would have quite possibly met Alex eight years ago. And yet I would not have paid one bit of attention to him, because I would have still been stuck on Lee Anderson, that dreamy boy from summer camp (who I would not encounter again until ( Read more... )

He laments that we did not meet four years earlier. I disagree. Four years ago I wouldn't have been able to handle it. My maturity level was no match for a serious relationship at that time, which is why my longest relationship was five months, but even that one had started to fall apart around month three. We might have known each other or been in ( Read more... )

As the days pass me by, I keep coming to a stronger realization that I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. And that's exactly what we plan on doing.

This guy at college is really attracted to me. We watched a movie tonight in his dorm. He mixed up lies and truths until I didn't know what to think of him. He kept trying to kiss me and I kept denying him, so he tried to screw with my mind. He said that a two month relationship doesn't equate to love; that it wouldn't matter if I cheated on you, ( Read more... )