Comments | firecat: Reposted from alt.poly

firecat

Reposted from alt.poly

Jun 01, 2007 15:30

Apropos of a couple of discussions on wiscon lately I want to express the following, which I posted in alt.polyamory in a thread about said discussions: Every time I try to describe my feelings about children it boils down to "Um...they are people." As with adults, I have all sorts of superficial thoughts about the ones I don't know - positive, neutral, ( Read more... )

wiscon

Comments 24

(The comment has been removed)

firecat June 1 2007, 23:43:40 UTC

It took me a minute to get how "agism is not a feminist value" applies because I tend to think of "agism" as prejudice against older people, but of course that's not its real definition. Good point.

pyrzqxgl June 2 2007, 03:04:50 UTC

Now that's a good line to remember!

windsea June 1 2007, 23:59:49 UTC

I spent over half of my life -- until I was at least 33 or 34 -- not having or wanting children. Gradually, I changed my mind, and succeeded in having two, when I was 37 and 39 -- much more than half a lifetime ago ( ... )

firecat June 2 2007, 00:14:50 UTC

In alt.poly's defense, some of the vitriol is being repeated from another source for the purpose of criticizing it, rather than being the opinions of the posters. But yeah.

kmd June 2 2007, 01:32:23 UTC

I've seen lots of what I would call hate speech in the crazier corners of the childfree communities. Crotchfruit, moos, breeders, etc. This is THE reason I am so, so, so not going to reach out for community in those places. And that bums me out, because PRotFU and I have recently come to the realization that we cannot/won't be having kids, and I want to find support and community. Here on lj, I have to say that cf_marriage is pretty sane and hate speech free. It's also fairly quiet.

kmd June 2 2007, 01:32:35 UTC

All of that said, my own vitriol tends to rise to the surface in reaction to the parents (mostly mothers) who act as though the fact that they have children (and especially babies) entitles them to just about anything it might occur to them to want. My seat on an airplane is only the most recent instance of this boundless mommy entitlement. And our culture feeds this, with all of our obsession with safety and trampling on civil liberties for the sake of the chilllllldren.

So yeah, it can start to feel like a culture war sometimes. Which is one of the reasons I moved out of the suburbs. Kids are people; they are not angels and they are not aristocracy and neither are their parents. They're people.

firecat June 2 2007, 02:41:59 UTC

I feel angry about people who act as thought they are entitled, but those people come in all types, IME.

kmd June 2 2007, 03:05:00 UTC

True. Do you not perceive a cultural bias toward entitling mothers and children, though?

Thread 20

innerdoggie June 5 2007, 15:58:31 UTC

I don't understand the anti-kid vitriol either, and I don't have any children myself.

I'm wondering if it could be from people who may have been forced to look after younger siblings or babysit when they were very young. That might do it to you. Your other friends get to have fun, but you have to stay home with screaming little siblings.