Fic: Christmas Party (Or "What Happened Afterwards?")(CSI Miami, Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko)
Title: Christmas Party (Or "What Happened Afterwards?")
Fandom: CSI Miami
Pair: Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
CSI Miami Main List
“Horatio and Calleigh got a triple and we got…” Speedle made a vague hand gesture at the remains, that used to belong to a human body. They were scattered on a short stretch of a road in the middle of a residential area. “…that. They closed the road as soon as the first patrol got here.” He turned to look at Eric and grinned at his grimace. “Hung over?”
“I couldn’t find my socks in the morning, I already got blisters on both feet, and this heat doesn’t help much. Besides, can’t I just be disgusted like normal people when I see severed body parts?”
“We don’t do that. So who was it?”
“None of your business.” Eric gave him a beaming grin. He opened his kit and pulled out his camera. “But I’ll tell you this much: That guy could have had a great career in porn.”
“You got a guy-phase on again? Pick one gender and stick to it. At least for a few months at a time.”
“Seriously, it was the sort of stuff that would make an Olympic gymnast green with envy.”
“I don’t need to know.” Tim stated. “Good side is that you didn’t have to see how the party ended.”
“Fight again?”
“Too easy, Christmas parties always end with fights. Why did they even have a joint party for the lab and the PD? That’s just asking for trouble.”
“Yeah, I remember they said a few months ago that they wouldn’t organize it at all this year.”
“I guess they had to after that Co-Operation campaign fell through.” The thought made Speedle grin from ear to ear. “It’s kinda ironic they had to cancel that, because the organizing committee couldn’t agree on anything.” He glanced at the group of uniformed cops handling the police lines and shooing away the curious crowds. One young looking police was chatting up a few of the witnesses, who were waiting to be taking to the police station. Tim could barely read the nametag in his chest: Wolfe.
“That gymnast you spent the night with… Are you sure he was alone at the party?”
“Why do you ask?”
“And you didn’t pick him up right under someone’s nose?”
“No. Why?”
“That guy over there’s glaring at you and fondling his gun.”
“His gun?” Eric looked at the man on other side of the road and forced his face into a neutral expression. “What do you mean fondling, he has his hand on his holster.”
“Remember what they said about that in sensitivity training?”
“I remember every word.” Eric stated grimly. “I had to take that damn test four times before I passed, so yeah, I remember it. No matter how hard I try to forget…”
“What did they say about fondling your gun?”
“Do it in the bathroom and lock the door.”
“Duty gun.” Speedle chuckled. “We shouldn’t do that because it looks… I’m not sure what… It was either aggressive or phallic.” His face went blank and the grin was replaced with a grimace. “Speaking of phallic-”
“You were the only one talking about it, but I’ll adapt.” Eric pulled his jacket open and placed his hand on his gun holster. “Okay, shoot.”
“You still got those topless photos of Marie Ann?”
“Who?”
“The staff nurse, Delko.”
“Oh… Yeah, I think so. Why?”
“I got my bi-annual check-up next week and I need some leverage. I pissed her off real good last night.”
“You showed her your “Now-You-See-It-Now You-Don’t” -tricks?”
“No, and we didn’t even go anywhere, it happened right there at the party.”
“That’s my man!”
“Nothing like that. She may have ended up with her dress soaked in fruit punch and I may have had something to do with it.”
“May have?”
“Fine, it was my fault. I forgot the main rule of flirting: Never piss off the woman, who does your prostate exams.”
“Excuse me.” The uniformed officer, who they had seen before was walking up to them. He grabbed Eric by the arm with slightly more force than was strictly necessary. “You need to check the tire marks, right?”
“Yeah, I-”
“I’ll show you.” He pulled Eric away from Speedle and took him to a spot near the police line, where the marks became more visible. “Detective Carlson told us to stay and make sure the crowd stays in order till you people are done.” The officer pulled a small bundle from his pocket and pressed it discreetly into Eric’s hand. “One sock was under the bed and the other one was hanging from the ceiling fan.”
“Did you find my briefs?”
“Nope.”
“You’re not just keeping them as a memento?”
“Trust me, if I wanted a memento, I would take something more interesting than your used underwear.”
“I’m getting achy all over the place! Hot weather, sweaty skin, going commando…”
“This guy got hacked into little pieces and spread out from a moving vehicle. Use that for a perspective, and that’s where they made a U-turn and sped away-” The last few words were said with a higher volume, due to the people from the ME`s office walking past them. “-and I’d be pretty disappointed if you weren’t tender downstairs after last night.”
“There’s the nice kind of tender and then there’s the raw and painful kind of tender. I started the day with the first and then moved on to the second.”
“Stop whining.”
“My feet’s are on fire and other parts are taking notes-”
“And keep your voice down. Take a couple pictures.”
“Right.” Eric snapped a few pictures of the tire marks, pretending to have a purely professional conversation. “You could try to look more worn out, you’re ruining my ego.”
“Based on what I’ve heard, you usually need ankle weights to keep you from floating away with your ego, so I think you can take it. Besides, not everyone have your need to announce to the whole world what they did the night before.” He looked up from the marks on the street long enough to give Eric a little smirk. “And you don’t need to say it, everyone can see it from the way you walk. Unless you have a habit of doing some midnight horseback riding.”
“Don’t flatter yourself-”
“I don’t need to. You were flat on your back less than an hour after we met.”
“It wasn’t you, it was the uniform.”
“I didn’t have time to change.” Officer Wolfe shrugged. ”You asked me to arrest you and read you your rights.”
”Don’t forget the strip search.”
The distinctive sound of the police scanner interrupted them. Wolfe walked to the nearby police vehicle and leaned in to respond. Eric couldn’t hear the discussion, so he focused his attention on photographing the tire marks. By the time Wolfe came back, he had pictured the tracks from all angles, and certainly more times than was necessary.
“Someone called about domestic disturbance couple streets down from here.” Wolfe raised his hand to wave at the petite officer on the other side of the street. “Wrap it up, we got another call!” He turned back to Eric. “The others will stay here till you’re done.”
“My lower half’s already done.” Eric got up from his crouching position very gingerly. “Is it possible to die from being too sore?”
“I doubt it.”
“That would make you a murderer.”
“No, it just makes you a whiny little Prima Donna.”
“I’m not whiny, and even if I were, I got a right to be. This is all your fault.”
“See what I mean? Whiny.”
“So you had nothing to do with this? It was just me by myself bending over your kitchen table? And wrecking your bed? And in your balcony?”
“You weren’t complaining then.”
“I didn’t have time before you were going again.” The thought made Eric grimace. “I’m older than you, I need full ten minutes of rest to recover.”
“Whatever you say, oldie…”
“Don’t call me that.” Eric glared at the smug grin on Wolfe’s face. “Shouldn’t you be going already?”
“As soon as Sally’s ready. I’m just killing time and enjoying that little grunt you do every time you move.”
“This isn’t funny!”
“Fun comes with a price.” Wolfe smirked at him.
“I really, really hate you…”
“Sure you do.”
“Right now I can’t think of anyone more despicable and sneaky than you.” Eric gritted as his jeans rubbed against his chafed skin. The warm weather had brought a layer of sweat on his skin and the saltiness of it was aggravating his already tender places, while his rapidly hardening member didn’t make the situation any easier. “Six?”
“Seven.”
“Your place?”
“Yeah.”
“Ointment?”
“I’ll handle it. Still hate me?”
“More than anyone else I’ve ever met.”
“I hate you too.” Wolfe assured with a wide grin. He pulled a pair of mirror glasses from his brest-pocket and glanced up to the sky. “By the way, did you hear this is supposed to be the warmest December in ten years?”
Eric suppressed a groan.
“You have any idea how much I hate you?”
“I have a pretty good idea.” Wolfe glanced down at the bulge in Eric’s jeans. He saw his colleague finally walking over to them and slipped his sunglasses on. “Enjoy your shift, diva.”