Fic: By The Beach, Chapter 6 (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Sean / Cain)
Title: By the Beach, Chapter 6
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Sean Hotchner / Cain Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Interlude
Chapter 5
“Why is that thing still here?” Morgan complained. He pointed at the small card on the kitchen counter.
“What thing?” Reid lifted his eyes from his plate full of pasta.
“That calling card. Why didn’t you get rid of it?”
“I forgot.”
“The whole habit is ridiculous. Summarising entire human being into one tiny card.”
“Well… you introduce yourself by showing your badge, how is that different?”
“It is.”
“I have my own cards too. I don’t use them often but it’s good to have some.”
“You have a card? I’ve never seen that.”
“Wait a minute.” Reid took his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a small card. He gave it to Morgan and continued his meal.
“Doctor Spencer Reid…. blaa blaa blaa….” Morgan eye the text on the card. “You know, you don’t need to list all your degrees here.”
“I know, but I didn’t want to leave anything out. They had to print the rest to the other side.”
Morgan turned the card around. “Right…. I don’t have a card.”
“It’s not a big deal. How many times do you need one?”
“I could need one if I had some.”
“What would you put on your card?”
“Name and title, and my phone number.”
“That’s all?”
“Well, I could come up with some new titles. How bout…. Sex toy extraordinaire, Retired from active service.” The suggestion was laced with a leer.
“Wouldn’t that mean you don’t do that anymore to anyone? Including me.”
“Yeah…. Forget that.”
“Maybe you could ask Garcia. She would come up with two dozens of honorary titles in five minutes.”
“I can already tell what kind of suggestions she would come up with. I’ve heard them all: Studmuffin, ChocoGod, BAU Eyecandy, Best Buns in Quantico-”
“No.”
“What?”
“You lost your title.”
“My butt lost its title?”
“You’re number two now.”
“Who’s number one?”
“Chad.”
“Are you serious?”
“As serious you can be when you’re talking about Garcia.”
“My baby girl betrayed me!”
“Morgan-”
“You’ve seen both of us. Which one has the best butt?”
“You can’t expect me to evaluate-”
“Just tell me.”
“It depends on the criteria’s. Are we including muscular base of the form, skin texture, bounciness, perkiness-”
“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Red smirked. “Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with your butt. It’s pretty and curvy and I love it.”
“Thanks, baby.”
“And second place is still better than just an honourable mention.”
“You just had to remind me about that….”
“Yep.”
---------------------------------------------------
“You’ll kill me.” Sean groaned. “Why couldn’t you just go without me?”
“Because if I don’t drag you to the gym, you wont get any exercise at all.” Cain commented and took Sean’s gym bag from him. “I’ll go unpack these.”
“I’m sore all over.”
“Butch up, princes.”
“And don’t call me that!”
“It’s just so fitting for you.” Cain gave him a kiss on the cheek and went to unpack their bags. Sean’s cell phone beeped to indicate a new message.
“Was that yours?” Cain’s voice boomed from the bathroom.
“Yeah. Are we free tonight?”
“Free to do what?”
“Some of my buddies are getting together.”
“Where and why?”
“At Sunlight, for fun. Can we go?”
“That’s not particularly tempting.” Cain came back carrying two empty bags. “When your buddies had that rehearsal nigh for that bachelor party I had to keep an eye on you all the time.”
“I wasn’t that much of a trouble.”
“I had to take a call and you managed to get drunk.”
“I had two drinks.”
“Plus the two beers before that. I forbade you from having any more drinks because I know your limits. You obviously don’t.”
“I’ve been drunk a lot since I was fifteen. I may get drunk, but I don’t get into a lot of trouble. Do have any idea how embarrassing it was when you threw me on your shoulder and carried me out?”
“I did that because you went too far. If I hadn’t found you in time that creep would have had your pants down under thirty seconds.”
“I was drunk, I admit that. But I could have fought him off, I don’t need you to defend my honour.”
“You were in no condition to fight off a fruit fly and obviously your judgement was just as bad.”
“I should have seen the signs, but….” Sean seemed to be running out of explanations. “You could have handled it differently too. You didn’t have to smack his teeth in.”
“That was a lot less than what I wanted to do to that guy.”
“Sometimes you’re just like Hotch. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“You do. You may think I’m being hard on you and restricting you and whatever, but I’m not gonna let you do something if I think you’ll get yourself in trouble. I wanna make sure you’re well. As long as I can’t trust you to take care of yourself, I will do it. Whether you like it or not.”
“Why? Tell me.” Sean’s face was bright red with anger. “What am I exactly? Some kinda charity project? Poor little kid who can’t take care of himself. Why the hell are you so damn interested in my life?”
Cain just looked at him. Then he took a step closer.
“You really don’t get it.”
He grabbed Sean’s face between his palms and pressed a rough kiss on his lips.
---------------------------------------------------
“The all knowing Oracle of The Quantico is listening. Talk to me, you mere mortal.”
“Garcia?”
“Yummy Tush, what can I do for you?”
“Funny you should call me that…. I wanna have a word about your little ass ranking.”
“I have no idea what you mean….”
“You bumped me down to the second place!”
“I had to be honest about it!”
“So you think my ass is just the second best.”
“Think about it this way: You’re still number one in BAU.”
“That doesn’t really comfort me.”
“Come on, I wont tell anyone you were dethroned.”
“Just tell me…. What the hell does his butt have that makes it so special?”
“Well….” Garcia`s smirk made it’s way through the phone line. “You both got the firmness factor and the curves. But his butt has just a little bit more bounce.”
“My own baby girl abandoned me….”
“You gotta understand. It was hard enough to focus on my job when there was just one yummy, hunky ox-couple roaming around here. After we heard about Hotchie Poochie and the ChocoGod my imagination is just working on overdrive. My libido’s getting out of hand. Seriously.”
“ChocoGod? You gave him that title too?”
“Kevin’s already complaining about my urges, I’m running the poor man ragged!”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“Are you okay, sugar? You know I love your ass.”
“I want a second opinion. I’m gonna see a doctor about this.”
“Tell him to be thorough.” Garcia giggled. “And tell him I said hi.”
Chapter 7 (NC-17)