Comments | finnimbrun: [Naruto] Little Wonders (p2) -- Naruto/Gaara, PG-13 (T)

finnimbrun

[Naruto] Little Wonders (p2) -- Naruto/Gaara, PG-13 (T)

Jul 23, 2008 03:14

Title: Little Wonders (2/2)
Pairing: Naruto/Gaara
Rating: PG-13 or thereabouts
Other pairings: None intentional, though I guess one could read between the lines as they see fit.
Warnings: Some heavy petting and boy love.
Word Count: ~12,000
Summary: On the little wonders of life, and, through them, finding the humanity you possess.

( Someone once told him it had rained the night he'd been born. )

naruto, fic, ch: naruto, naruto/gaara, ch: gaara, little wonders

Comments 25

(The comment has been removed)

hieronymousb July 23 2008, 09:51:35 UTC

[answering all comments with the non-fic-LJ due to laziness] Thank you for the nice review and for the memming! I'm honoured.

Yeah, I kind of peg Gaara as innocent in the ways of human nature, even for a guy who had the childhood that he did (or especially because of it). Also why I set the story when they were still a bit younger, because I find that to be a fun aspect of the pairing. Anyhow... thank you so much for reading/commenting/memming. ^__^

suehki July 23 2008, 16:41:04 UTC

*is completely speechless or-uh writting-less* Damn, this was... there are no words, Excelent, truely, especially the way you describe the kissing scene, ah! haven't we all experienced such a moment...>_<

Gah, thank you for posting it sooner and please continue ^_^

hieronymousb July 24 2008, 19:40:43 UTC

Cheers! Haha, yeah, I was trying to write from the memory of being young and not so well-versed in those things. Ah, lackaday, I can vaguely recall my own confusions and misunderstandings at that age.

Thank you, and I hope to!

cryogenia July 23 2008, 20:53:03 UTC

He had not meant to. It had been pure instinct. No one touched Gaara. They absolutely did not touch the skin of any sensitive places.

I love how you work with their their characterizations here, how Gaara is still primarily more feral - he takes a sensual touch as an attack, a love nip as a bite yet. I also love how Naruto is uncomfortable with the thought of anyone finding out, because they might "get the wrong idea" - he has so much invested in Being A Real Ninja. Wonderful.

parallax_view July 23 2008, 21:50:18 UTC

I very much enjoyed that you subtley made it clear that Gaara is both a battle hardened old man and a child who's barely experienced life in other ways. You focused on both, rather than one being absent in favor of the fic's main idea of humanity. The strong presence of both, the conflict betwixt the two, is one of the aspects of this character that I like the most.

OMG, THIS REPLY CANNOT JUST BE ABOUT GAARA, WTF.

You also pointed out parallels about Naruto and Gaara that I hadn't thought of before, or had given much thought to. Bravo.

ontic_zeugma July 23 2008, 22:21:19 UTC

It's beautiful! Gaara's thoughts, as displayed here, are as soulful as his eyes.

It's very sweet, the way both Jinchuuriki stumble around with physical contact, and I like how you kept it strictly on their level. So many writers push them into more mature sexual situations, when really, they're just kids!

The characterizations are spot on. Naruto hides behind the guise of exploration and practice, but it's very clear that he needs it just as much as Gaara does. And the soon-to-be Kazekage, meanwhile, isn't quite sure how to take it all in. He can't quite decide whether he's being attacked, or if it's all a bad idea, but, again, it's very clear that he needs the contact-- wants it, even.

The language, also, flows very nicely. Even though Gaara is pretty much rambling by stream-of-consciousness the entire way, the momentum is never lost as the story is told.

All in all, I hope I can see more from you in the future!

hieronymousb July 24 2008, 19:44:37 UTC

Hah, yeah! I'm normally much more of a hardcore porn/BDSM sort, but I just don't think it suits Naruto/Gaara. Well, I mean, not that I couldn't ever see them getting there eventually; actually, I definitely think they could make it to that point, but I do think it'd take quite a while. I don't think one would jump from zero experience to being some kind of kinky sex god. Plus, the cute awkwardness is one of my favourite things about this particular 'ship, so I like to see them experiment and mess around.

Thank you for the very thoughtful review! Really put a smile on my face. Cheers! And yeah, I'd love to write more for this fandom in the future! This pairing certainly inspires me.