The Kohler-Wielle Legacy 2.4: Valencia's Waters xD
CAUTION: 51 Piccies = 3.3MB Download (yeah I remembered to do this this time whoooops the last few xD). Cube spam, adult themes/language, kittens and SO. MANY. DAMN. BABIES.
Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive
BACK IN THE CLUTCHES OF KOHLER-WIELLE MAYHEM! Are you prepared? I do not think you are. Got a cup of tea? Coffee? Chocolate? Bonox?
A Digestive?
Awesome. LET US PROCEDE! KS SO CHECK IT OUT I THINK THEY HAD A FIGHT ON THE HONEYMOON OR SOMMAT CAUSE WTH CUBE RIDING UP FRONT WITH THE SIXEHEADED CHAUFFEUR!!? Don't tell me you guys were just playing Marco Polo in that thing. I wont buy it, your advertising campaign was crap and just made me want to buy hair care products instead of your wine whine.
V: HELL YES GETTING COMPLETELY SATURATED IN THE STREET!
I know that'd be my reaction if I just got out of a limo in my wedding dress only to get totally drenched in the rain. Wait, actually knowing me I'd probably shriek and run around giggling for a minute before doing the smart thing and running for cover.
HIGH FIVES, VALENCIA! :D :D
YES YES FIRST POP! Dust: 0, Ugly Not-Formal Dress: 1. DAMMEHHHT! FASHION POLICE BE BEATING DOWN THE DOOR IN SECONDS! Valencia agrees with me, that dress is just NOT on and really does have to come off..!
Where's Cube? :D
He's playing the piano and he's GOOD at it! EEE! Awwwww! V's the most supportive wife EVER. Check it outs its like he just won Wimbledon or some shit, not just decided to play greensleeves on the house piano. GREENSLEEVES NEVER WENT DOWN SO GOOD.
Whoa, okay, Sixehead chauffeur is actually GORGEOUS apart from ... Well, the sixehead of doooooom and exposed-brain-O-Ren-Ishiness aside of course ^_^;;
This one's for all those guys and gals in the Cube Fanclub. ME INCLUDED!
*squeals with delight* MMmMmMmm, being curious about the weather never looked this good. *gets lost in those icy blues*
AGAIN!!! Eeeeehheheeeeee..!!
IS VALENCIA ...
A) Super excited about magically popping into her third trimester ?
B) Conflicted about the fact that her belly just sprung 849023823 new stretch marks from the sudden infant growth?
or C) Just realised there's two horses outside her window STALKING HER!?
Is this a kitty nightmare? An exciting turn of events whereupon we discover Carrots is really a druid in cat form and has formed a long-lasting attachment on Peaches? Or is this Carrots' solution to the continued stalker-horse problem: DEATH BY VAMPIRE.
Considering she's a teenage girl I'm not sure the odds wouldn't be on Peaches just squealing with delight about ponies and then... IDK feeding them hay and sugar cubes and stuff... I have no idea what teenage girls do with horses or why they're so randomly excited about them. PRETEND SOME CHICK THAT THINKS HORSES AND HERSELF ARE TOTALLY OTP JUST FULLY WAXED LYRICAL ABOUT HOW MUCH PEACHES WOULD SQUEE AT FREE HORSEFLESH, K?!
Awesome moving on... ^_^
Valencia for Fertility Goddess 2008! *texts in ma votes*
So V's certainly packing! I'm UBERLY impressed with the cut of this outfit. She's WAY huager in front than she is at the back and yet hemline? Only affected by the fact she's walking! AMAZING!! Seamstresses at CarnabySims WIN!
D'awww! She's like a Stepford wife. :D HAI BABY, the baby and I missed you there's pot roast on the table and I've invited the Landgrabbs and the Worthingtons for dinner. I think we've got the financial backing for your Mayorial bid in the bag. *goose*
Okay, so someone explain the US political heirachy to me... I thought Senators were MORE important than Mayors? O_O;; Is it like, based off of the SimCity model where the Mayor = God (ie the player)?? Cause um... IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!
So someone else that got invited to dinner: randomly, no-fashion townie teen. She was all YAY YAY YAY DINNER IS DELICIOUS in the house then she jumped up and wandered outside. TO STEAL THE GNOME! Bitch V's had that thing all through Uni and isn't about to have it stolen NOW. BAAAH!! >_<;;;;
AND THEN WTH IS THIS?! She steals the gnome than saunters back on into the house like she did NOTHING! O_O;;;;;;;;;;; And then while she was still inside, V wandered out to steal the gnome back.
AND CAME BACK WITH THE GNOME WHILE THE TEENAGER WAS STILL HERE.
Who's gnome does she have?! O_O;;;
D'Awwwwww!!!! Carrots gives his scratching post kisses and a great big bear hug! <33333 I deny ALL knowledge that he's pretending that this unyielding, rope and carpet covered cylinder is Peaches... Beside's... Thats kind of cute ^_^;;
Um. Who exactly is dreaming about V being the hottest ever here? I'm kind of... Having money on Valencia myself. *cracks up so hard* I circled their entire bed trying to work it out on pause and SO couldnt' work it out even in three whole dimensions. xD
ITS BABY TIME! I'm sorry Valencia, but you my girl make THE CUTEST EVARRR FACES OF ADORABLENESS WHEN YOU'RE IN PAIN! Sorry ^_^;;;;;
I have no idea who's spare naked leg that is in the picture xD I think its Cubes but its kind of ... Spookily hairless. Maybe he waxes cause he swims professionally in his spare time? You know what? TOTALLY GOING WITH THAT!
Cube = Renaissance Man . Could he get any cooler? IDTS!
ANYWAY! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING ON ABOUT CUBE'S SUSPICIOUSLY FEMININE LEG FOR!? ITS BABY TIME!! :D :D :D
Generation three's first born, Syrah! A little girl with her father's skin and her mother's eyes. That's the second gen in a row that the first born has been a girl. Hrrrmmmmm..!
Second child! And the first to be doomed to floor tiles xD A boy! Sangiovese, share's Syrah's genetic eye combination. I also have a feeling that he inherited his dad's niceness/pleasantness levels... Cause look he's on the floor and he's quietly pleased about it. xD
HELLO CINNABAR! :D Same genetic makeup as his elder two siblngs, and a look of pensive worry about him even though he's an infant. Look at his little not-so-chubby hands worrying at his fingers. D'awwwwwww!
We interrupt the stream of infants to show you HEROINE CHIC MAID! :D He's gaunt and red-headed. Like about half this 'hood! O_O;; xD
BACK TO THE BABIES! This be Ginger :D Mum's eyes, Mum's insidiously creeping enayla default replacement skin.. xD She MAY or may not be one of my favourite three. A set of faves that I MAY or may not have formed while the kids were all stil infants... ^_^;; WHO EVER SAID INFANTS HAD NO PERSONALITY?! If they didn't, how did I manage to go 'EeeEeEeeEEe fave!' already? Eh? :D
Awwww Poppy! My TOTAL fave! :D Same genetics as Ginger, she can has sculpted eyebrows as an infant. xD *is so terrifyingly biased when it comes to sim kids*
BETTER not be like this when it comes to real life, Nett. You can't go around popping out chillens and going "Sorry children, I love your sister more and so I will give them everything and they get the house. What do you get? Oh.. OBSCURITY™!!! {(o}_(({O));;;"
HeroineChicMaid™ knows nothing of personal space. STANDING A LITTLE CLOSE TO THE SCREAMING MOTHER THERE, DUDE. Doe she have some kind of death warrant? I know Cube did this to her and V and HeroineChicMaid just met but she has ONE NICE POINT. NO ONE IS SAFE FROM NECK WRINGING AND SCROTAL CRUSHING!
Maybe he's into that.
Baby boy Kermes, possible mummy's boy cause he has all of her genetics. Also, he is NOT allergic to massive amounts of foliage. Or at least he's not yet since V shoved his head into that thing around six times before putting him down to give birth to his littlest sister. I think she was trying to cultivate a sickly child, myself. Adds character and depth to your tale does hasing a little weakling sickly boy. Works for Dickens!
THE LAST OF THE SEPTUPLETS! DUN DUN DUN....! And they called the wind maaariiiiaaaaah the little Valencia genetic clone, Modena.. ^_^
CUBE OBSESSION! LOOK AT IT! WITNESS IT! FEEL IT! Infants are capable of independant thought, Yes? NO THEY ARE NOT! They're only capable of HIVE MIND LOVE of their virile father and his penetrative swimmers of ram's head formed STEEL that facilitate their very existence. Or they're all feeding off of V's unrelenting preoccupation with her husband.
HeroinChicMaid™ is all "ZOMG YOU HAD A LOT OF BABIES!" Cube's approaching to congratulate her on yet another birth and all V can do is not hyperventilate and drop Modena from the sight of her semi-clad lover sauntering towards her.
SO MANY BABIES ALL AT ONCE, TIME FOR SOME GOOSE SPAM! HONK!
I so don't get how sims are all AWESOME PINCH MY ASS BABY, I can't say I'd find it at ALL endearing.
V: ARMAGAD WTH YOU DOING I JUST POPPED SEVEN KIDS OUT NEAR THAT THING, I'M TENDER!
Cube: YOU LOVE IT!!
Yes she DOES love it >_<;;
I have... NO WORDS. *asks simkittensims & choose...*
Cube: So you know that thing we read about in last months Cosmo? Lets give it a try!?
V: Oh I thought you would never ask!! Let me get the whipped cream!
Cube: I'll grab the bananas!
V: *Goes to make homemade sundaes*
LOL *totally high fives Kat* Don't forget the nuts, kids! Although its you two, I'm SURE nuts will be very readily included... xD PLUS! Muu was all OMG HE LOOKS LIKE READHEADED ZOOLANDER! Which made me lol FOREVER, Cube is totally an ambiturner and can COMPLETELY pull off Magnum. WHICH, Muu informs me, is a brand of condoms made specifically for men with large penises.
VERY VERY LARGE PENISES! *waves flags*
GOOD TO SEE YOU STILL THINK SHE'S THE HOTTEST WIFE EVER!!! Considering that you've been crushing on her since she was a young teen I should HOPE SO!
God its like one of those terrifying Danielle Steele novels my mum reads. Man runs from his predestined responsibilities, moonlights as a housekeeper and falls in love with his employers eldest daughter. Does nothing to further his suit directly apart from going off to embrace his family's dreams for him to become a millionaire polititian and then when she's old enough, goes back, marries her and they live happily ever after with four hundred babies.
Now we just have to throw in a few ghosts, a plane crash, and one of the kids being turned into a paraplegic and we're there! BEST SELLER!
Believe it or not, in spite of Poppy's pissed off expression here (or maybe she's just burping in which case that's probably an expression of relief xD) Cube is an AWESOME FATHER OF AWESOME. The whole infant stage was super easy with both he and V on the case. LUCKILY their infancy spanned his time off from work. xD VERY handy timing for the lead up to the next and rather obvious to the audience now challenge:
TODDLER MAAAAANIAAAAA..!
You're sleepy, hungry and at least two other dwarves, and yet... LETS CLEAN THE LOO FOR FUN EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT GET FUN OUT OF IT!
Useful, Yet perplexing.
LOL YAYAY THUMBS UP! Remind you of anyone in particular?
With seven infants in the house, if you can steal away for some peace and quiet at any point, I don't think you could possibly be blamed... And that's totally why I took this screenshot and it has nothing to do with me sharing everyone and their infants' unrelenting Cube love... ^_^;;; Nope, nothing at all. :D
See? Has nothing to do with me taking THIS screenshot either. There's nothing ACHINGLY hot about a well endowed man, in his underwear, cooking an enormous meal to perfection and then serving it up for his wife. And then cleaning up after himself.
Nothing... ^_^;;; *trembles*
You think its anyone's birthday tomorrow?
TODDLER MANIA IS ABOUT TO START! But first, lets take a good look at our flesh eating demons, pre-generational make overs, exploding into toddlerhood:
SYRAH!! Could run away and join the circus as a jowly ventriloquist dummy!
Sangiovese: I AWW UPSET ABWOUT DIS BWEAWW SUIT!
Cinnabar has been born with his father's genetic predisposition for the Thriller dance :D
Ginger is one thousand percent adorable, and solidifies my affection by transitioning into freaken cute outerwear.
A polka dot hoodie with MITTENS??!?! Now that just ain't playing fair.
We interrupt this stream of toddler 'plosions to bring you more Cube!
Look! A man that cleans, autonomously, and LOVES IT. His little fun bar shot up a whole way while he was polishing that brass... ^_^;; So as soon as he finished up and all the kids stopped going kerplodey, I sent V on over to polish HIS brass as a reward :D
POPPY! EEEEEEE!! Same hair as her mother just REDDER, ridiculous huag smile of adorableness, THE HOODIE+MITTEN COMBO! Baaaah! <3333333 ILUPOPPY!
*has a solid favourite*
HI CUBE, just standing behind that curtain. Lurking. Being hot. <3
Kermes has PERFECT teeth! And his little shark's smile betrays a hint of worry but SO much less than expected from his infancy. But that whole mummy's boy thing I'd wondered about at his birth..?
I think I should've put money down on it... HOW THE HECK is he clinging on here and how dare he screw up Modena's cake transition!? xD DON'T DROP HER, V!!
Valencia: *uses magical mother powers to fuse her hands to her daughter's back*
MODENA!! She has a single minded purpose... And she's on her way to get you... And your little dog too..! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!
*watches her crawl out of the screen and eat the flesh of her victims*
Sustaining, little one?
Modena: Bwudd tastes liyk Wedd!!!
... Well yes and like money... ^_^;; *squishes her cheeks*
*Journeys across the street* Just as Toddler Mania was about to begin, I remembered that I had ORIGINALLY planned to get Valencia to make all of the house-hold bots bar a servo to help out with the cleaning and INEVITABLE Nanny-fail. And I'd TOTALLY forgotten about it. So I headed across the road, got Angie to Gold Robotics and then got her to call up V and invite her over to be showered in robotic gifts.
Who's the cutest Step-Zombie in all the world? <3
While they waited for the finishing touches on their Sentrybot, Cube and V hung out together playing chest chess and making minute to minute entendres about her rack.
I SERIOUSLY think you two need to stop hanging out with V's parents. Love that transcends EVERYTHING including the basic instinct to STAY ALIVE is not healthy.
Except... It just makes me ship you two so hard. DAMMIT.
GOD! You guys? LRN2COMPREHENDENVIRONMENT. V? This is your parents place. You're in Cube's in-law's house. Its THE most innapropriate locale to expose one's breasts so as to distract your opposition, put them into checkmate, exclaim that you sank their battleship and then... SINK THEIR BATTLESHIP.
Cept knowing V's parents they'd probably spot them, cheer, and then go do some all-night historical recreations of Pearl Harbour of their own.
Angie's 'daughter', Sunshine the Servo, has gone SLACK-JAWED at the household's shenanigans. SHE'S A NEW CREATION! DON'T RUIN HER ALREADY GUYS! She might've come into this world, fully formed (and created in poor dead Noelle's image -- creepy much? xD) but she's younger and more innocent than the seven devils across the road. Do you want to see her trying to copy by your example with a food processor?
I DIDN'T THINK SO!
Tune in next time for CHALLENGE TWO (or is it three cause the actual Rainbow Legacy it self is a challenge? Or even maybe four cause College = A CHALLENGE TO NOT KILL EVERYONE DORMIE BECAUSE OF THE TEDIUM... Or... Uh... Um, where was I?).... We're going into the seven mouths of madness! Embrace the MANIA!
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