The Kohler-Wielle Legacy 2.0: The College Years!
CAUTION: Boobs, Butts and RANDOM!
Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive
Welcome to Rainbow Flux Dorms situated in sunny Pot o' Gold Cove. Beach-front, LA-from-memories-of-90210-from-when-I-was-a-kid student accommodation. Thematically orange, and filled with reasonably sized rooms all sporting a double bed for your pleasure complete university experience.
Completing this picturesque scene we feature Valencia. Wearing a bathing suit. I promise. Its just not... Overly substantial. Orange string is just really close to her flesh colour, k...? ^_^;;
Risso spared absolutely no time at ALL locating the hookah "bubble blower." He uses it to win friends and influence people. Stoner face spent most of his time on this thing, which I never would've picked from his childhood... Maybe it helps him forget all those painful years of nearly losing digits to the clutches of the evil beach crabs...
Or, you know, losing so many mothers throughout his life time... At this point he was still losing them too. That'd be a pretty understandable excuse for sinking your time into floating your troubles away for a few years.
Nah, was totally the crustaceans.
See? Told you V was totally wearing a swimsuit. Its just a little... Visible in an invisible way ^_^ OH! And all the clothes I had for her for Uni didn't really suit the fat morph *pouts* so I got her to lose some weight swimming and she toned up NICE. Miss her crazy huge boobs though.
THIS I DID NOT MISS! Damn subtle twincest. And here I was thinking I'd escape it, but NuUuUuuUuu they both deliver all the time. *sigh*
Valencia: Oh hai brother, check out my biceps and my awesome new pecs in this lacey see-through bikini. This is completely acceptable and not innapropriate at all! *sparkle*
Risso: *AGREES*
To his credit he's maintaining eye contact. YAY RISSO! SAVING ME FROM HEADDESKING WHEN I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DESK!
OUTRAGE!! This IS the old cafeteria worker that the Wishing Well sent Sienna. WTF SIMS?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! WRRRRRRY?!?!?!?!
Great, Risso and Valencia have a potential paedophile for a caterer. What's the food going to taste like? MmmMmMmm this mac and cheese has a distinct nubile flavour, with peach and fresh cherry overtones... >_>;;
World? Meet Jemima, the saviour of the Kohler-Wielle heir. How is she a saviour you ask? WELL when I moved Risso onto the sexy dorm, the whole game crashed, melted, folded like a cheap hooker on new years eve.! And I freaked. Randomly there was a post about that VERY problem that day on thesims2 , and one suggestion was to make another sim in CAS to try and save them because it wouldn't do the transition movie on them. And thusly Jemima was born, fully formed as a young adult. She did not pass go, she DID however collect $200. :D
She's romance and kept rolling wants to get cosmetology talent badges so I ordained her official dormie make-over artist. And lo, it was good.
I'd originally thought she could be Risso's uni girlfriend and I was all excited at their possible monogomous shenanigans, but then she rolled this. GUESS THAT'S OUT.
Uh... I somehow managed to create a lesbian dorm. I had no idea orange brought out lesbianism. WHO KNEW?! I thought dormies were supposed to be created fresh without gender preference? No one scoped the room, or anything like that, they all just wandered in this way.
THE LESBIAN PULL OF THE DORM, IT BE STRONGER THAN PROGRAMMING..!
You know what else this dorm breeds? Crazy, innapropriate male stalkers. Hello SCHNOZDormie™, why are you standing in Valencia's bedroom hating on her twin brother?!
GTFO DUDE O_O;;;
Because I wanted to make sure Valencia kept her super slim look, and because I always go to GREAT LENGTHS to get individual work out outfits for each of my sims in the thematic colours but you NEVER SEE THEM, and because I didn't take any dorm tour photos: Here's Valencia crawling about backwards on an excercise machine, TADAH!
The background features a hearty collection of lesbians and the men they've driven to creepy stalkerdom. Aww, its one big happy family.
As you can see, there's kind of a lack of potential in the looks department also going on in this dorm. ChiseledJaw™ there in the middle is really the only possible contender and his ears kind of leave a little bit be desired. They LOOK elfin, but unfortunately they are NOT! And that makes me pout for a thousand years. Although this poutage is negated since Valencia already has a pre-destined impregnator who's off harnessing his new lease on life while she edumacates herself so ChiseledJaw™ can't get in the legacy anyway and thusly the elf ears would be wasted.
So there.
Jemima goes in for the pouncing whilst the two are giggling in the bathroom. I wasn't sure if it was going to take, since V's been male oriented to date, but she seemed VERY into the whole thing.
Aroused shower head is metallically aroused.
*stalks to see if it 'accidentally' sprays onto the likely trajectory of theri boobs*
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. I GIVE YOU: THE POWER OF ACR!
IT IS IMMENSE! AND GODLY! And bows to the cliche that all chicks apparently fool around with lesbianism in University. V's doing it, it MUST BE TRUE! I mean sure she looks all shy and unsure about this whole thing, but I have to make note of the fact that this is her first time. I don't know why, but I find this all ADORABLE! ♥
Awwwww! <3333333 And they're both so elated afterwards. I LOVE YOU TWO! Jemima even makes black pitts of doom look cute. And that's got to be a HARD sell.
Lesbianism: Its hard work. Got to keep refueled at all times! :D I never really paid attention to the fact that V has pretty much NO neat points at all. She eats like a ravenous polar bear with its first kill of the season. Just substitute maple syrup for blood. Maple Syrups, Life Blood? Same. ^_^
Jemima has a stalker. Her name is Ashley and she's completely and utterly 100% punk-fad. Gotta love those union jack boots kids! (Actually, I really do *innocent*).
Jemima doesn't get this stuff right every time, but HOW COULD YOU BE ANGRY WITH THAT FACE!? And in her pajamas too!? Oh man I LOVE her! Love love love love love! I thought she was an incarnation of dragancaor 's Dallandra Broke-Ishkabibble which made me very happies, but it turns out, NO! She's one of spookymuffin's default face templates. I'm not sure which one (maybe 27?! I'm not sure! if it IS 27 I think I may have accidentally replaced it LOL whoops), but its GORGEOUS! And I have love for it <3333
Valencia in her ever increasing need to mother things, kept rolling constant wants to buy a bird cage, and then to buy a bird. Considering she never lets up with the whole adoption thing I thought okay cool, a bird will fill the need until she gets out of Uni. It IS only freshman year after all! O_O;; So I went the extra mile and got her a Falcon. FIERCE! His name is Scurvy :D
Scurvy judges you with an ever critical eye...
But its okay. He likes what he sees. Your eyes shall live till another day.
Just so you know, Valencia is the most studious student you ever did see. Which is a pity, because she's so gonna do what my Grandmother claimed I was always going to do (ITS A WASTE OF MONEY, SHE'LL JUST GET MARRIED ANYWAY, wtf is this the fifties?! O_O) and never use her degree for anything apart from being RLY SMART and edumacating her kids good. Which is what her Dad did anyway and look how he turned out? IMMORTAL! :D NO SHAME IN THAT IN SIM WORLD, V!
Risso's ability to turn anyone and everyone to the dark side is pretty mammoth. He called this random professor over for some tutoring, and within five minutes had her at the bubble blower floating her brain cells away. And she stayed there for three days. That's some pretty impressive high she had going on there! O_O;;
*sigh* The presence of Scurvy unfortunately did not curb Valencia's constant want for children at any means. The sight of her CherryPopper playing an amicable game of chess with her twin inspires more thoughts of adoption. Although I know I'd want to adopt too if the kid was as adorable as Jemima! EEeeeEeeEeEEeee!
Practicing for her bright future as a mother of four hundred babies, Valencia spends several hours every night after class teaching Scurvy about World Peace. Scurvy then eloquently replies with interesting insights into world economics and the impact of the credit crisis on the ornithological community at large.
V's children are all going to be the annoying kid that knows everything and attempt to win over friends by hosting lectures on Jean-Paul Sartre whilst in the second grade. Times four hundred. Awesome. xD
Ashley is a serial fart hearter when it comes to Jemima. Oh Jemima, you're SOOOooOo glorious! *heart fart* Oh Jemima, your index finger embodies the height of evolutionary masterfulness *moar heart fart* JEMIMA! YOU HAVE TOES! *loveheartfartage*
KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO! Uh.. Except don't. Um, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Right thats it I have to get you both partners or at least booty calls or SOMETHING. This stuff isn't on. Valencia? Put some clothes on, girl O_O;;
Lighthouse in the distance: *stands to attention*
Ochre, Sienna and Portokal decided to road trip to the dorms to say hi and check in with their older siblings. Risso ran out to greet his brothers and extol the virtues of being animated and outgoing with them. I'm not sure he picked the right brother, sure Ochre is a little reserved in public but we ALL intimately know how easily he scores with the ladies.
Being a chick magnet? Ochre ain't doin it wrong.
But he's still a supportive brother and so he listens carefully to everything his older brother encouragingly has to say. Even if his expression is a triumph of THREE THOUSAND percent blank, served with a fresh side of vacant. Magnifique!
Risso: ...And then when you're done you enigmatically smile and they're putty in your hands. Seriously, dude, PUTTY!
Ochre: YES BROTHERRRRRRR
Ochre: ...So I called her up after Dad popped out for a date which eventually ended with Step-Angie™ and she brought her milkshake over to OUR yard instead...
Portokal: *listens intently*
Risso: *beams with fatherly-esque pride*
Risso's shirt: *works its way into Risso's buttcrack*
Let's all play a game! It's called Spot the Emotive Brother. Lawds Portokal, I don't think that that anecdote was THAT funny. Guess Noelle was filled with reactionary juices, whereas Lucy's genes passed onto Ochre the conssumate poker face. Or someone replaced him with a sexbot. I'm unsure which I would personally prefer... O_O;;
WHY ISN'T ANYONE KEEPING AN EYE ON THE IMPRESSIONABLE TEENAGE SIENNA?!?! Risso? V? You FAIL at supervision!
FAIL I SAY! Risso, please to be getting off of the phone and tending to your guests?
Who is he on the phone with you ask? Is it a booty call? That random professor that loves him and his hookah? Me calling him to get off the phone already?
No... its HIS DAD! O_o;;
VampireCraven: Hey son! How's your brothers and sister doing on their visit?
Risso: Awesome Dad! They're behaving better than when they're at home!
LIAR! LIIIAIAAARRRrrRrrRr... Wait. Hang on. He might have a point. BAH.
Poor Jemima. Her zero strike rate is RUINED! Random blonde uni student got all hot and bothered, had to strip to cool off and then cooled ALL THE WAY off.
I'd kill her in revengeance for you, honey, because I love you THAT much, but I've turned over a new leaf. I promise, I have. No more death for me.
For at least a generation ^_^;;
College dormies apparently DON'T know how to show a teen a good time. Most boring collection of dormies ever assembled? I THINK SO!
I guess both the boys are surrounded by lesbians and their stalkers so there's not a whole lot a couple of jailbaits can do apart from drink. Ashley, however did manage to take the last drink, denying Portokal of his first taste of alcohol. And he was PISSED about it.
Ochre, on the other hand, was just busy sizing up the competition.
S'okay OchreBear, none of them can hold so much as a candle stump to your impressive stature.
Risso's never been told he was unpalatable in his life. Everyone loves him. So what's this chick, Keely Jinx's, problem!? No matter what he tries to do, she is DISGUSTED with him.
And it only makes him try harder. I mean her name is Keely Jinx for crying out loud. You can't let awesome like that just pass you by. Ochre watches his brother's shut down in vacant disappointment, and no one pays attention to the fact that their kid sister is high... So high against the sky, so high she almost touched the sky.
Valencia? Where are you and why aren't you clipping the wind beneath her wings?
Why, she's off having a deep and meaningful conversation with the spice rack. She's in LOVE with this thing. So much so she's integrated spending quality time with it into her post-class routine. Come home from class, talk with spice rack, congratulate it on its spicey awesome, triumph over the fact that she clearly controls the spice, then goes to gloat about her world domination to Scurvy.
And then she looks up at me with a big adoption thought bubble and grins.
Diabolical, Valencia. Diabolical.
Scurvy? He's a MEGA HIT with the ladies. Ashley finds him irresistable and must consult him on all of her everyday decisions. Spaghetti or Mac & Cheese? Biology or Psyche? Sex with Jemima before class, after class, during class?
Scurvy the Magic Falcon, Lived by the sea..! But instead of frolicking in the autumn mist in a land clearly made up in a drug induced fervour, he can explain it ALL! :D
Risso: WTF This chick smells like ass *throws up a little in his mouth*
SmellyDormie: EEEeEeeEwwww..! BOY COOTIES!
Because I'd never had ANY bots before, I figured since this is a dorm which are usually dens of unsanitory eniquity, and Kaylynn Langerak's last name is actually Townbike, I'd have Valencia make a Cleanbot. MY FIRST ONE! His name is Cedric. :D
I don't know why Cedric. Is that even orange related?! O_O But it is somehow, k?
Keely: You know nothing of the Crunch! You haven't even been to the Crunch.
Risso: I went there once.
Keely: Oh, a little day trip around the Crunch, we can all go as tourists.
Risso: *weeps*
Beautiful Jemima spam, I engage in it. Yes, yes I do. *loves her*
I hope purple gen is even half this picturesque and adorable! ♥
Apart from the constant wanting to adopt, Scurvy makes an EXCELLENT baby replacement for your budding college-bound heir. Not that I am ever going to do college again bar for a college specific challenge. THIS SHIT TAKES TOO LONG! >_<;;;
*breathes*
Is my frustration showing? Am I losing the plot? The plot? Is it lost? It is isn't it? I've set it free and I didn't love it enough and it never returned. *weeps for a thousand years*
Oh great, now 16 year old Nett's brain has reared its no-taste head and put stupid Butterfly by Mariah Carey with all its wing spreading and preparing to fly action into 27 year old Nett's brain. DAMMIT! DAMN YOU TINY NETT! Why did you have to appreciate MC's extensive vocal range so much?! This shit'll come back to haunt me forever.
I know it.
Keely Jinx, the friendination: ROUND THREE! FAILURE TO LAUNCH!
PS: Man wasn't THAT a crap movie. I mean I love me some Zooey Deschanel and the fabulous dove shooting. But WOW, SJP, why weren't you, I dunno, ANYONE else?
Its tough love for Risso. He didn't like that movie either and now he's weeping that he'll never EVER get that time of his life back. I cry with you Risso! In the designated crying time. IE: THE NIGHT!
Going to class: Kohler-Wielles do it in their pjs.
REVENGEANCE!!! Jemima can has it against Keely. Bwahahahhaaa! Love you work you gorgeous, GORGEOUS heir-saviour you.
SUCK IT, KEELY JINX! You and your cool name can suffer in your jocks as though they're infested with live eels, wrigglin' about inside ya! Exploring your organs, like internal black wangers! THEN see how you you like rejecting Risso for a simple chat!
Convinced that the dorm across the street is actually the set of Melrose Place, Risso spends a lot of mornings standing about in HIS jocks, searching for Heather Locklear.
No one ever came to yell at him for doing so so my theory is that he actually DID find her but he was paid off to keep quiet as didn't she fake her death in the end (again!?) so she and her random everyone'salwaysadoctor boyfriend could get married (again!?)?
You know you would think I'd remember this better, considering whenever a friend and I would call each other when we were teenagers, the lines would get crossed with this random couple's who's conversations ALWAYS revolved around the hijinks of the Melrose Place characters. They'd talk for HOURS about Melrose Place, we weren't even sure if they ever talked about anything else and had money on them pretending they were both Daphne Zuniga while they were having sex.
YE GODS KEELY! What was your childhood trauma?! Would it kill you to be nice to Risso for three seconds? He never even did anything to you O_O;; KEEP THAT WAGGLING POKER AWAY FROM HIS CHEST! He's a delicate flower!
Wait, you don't think Keely is somehow related to that crab that used to always eat his fingers, do you? Second cousins or something? Her mother could've been the victim of a terrific crustaceanary bumming and she was the result?
Yeah, guess not.
SPA STAND OFF! Keely won't get into the hot tub while Risso wants to. So they just stand there. For an hour. Not moving. Simply waiting for the other one to crack.
*tumbleweeds*
GOD IT NEVER ENDS! He tries so very hard to be nice, to be nonchalant, to just make a comment to someone else while they're eating dinner and she's FILLED WITH HATE.
This is the song that NEVER ends! She doesn't look much like a lamb chop to me ;_;
If this keeps up, I'm considering offing her. I know I swore off killing people but DUDE, Risso doesn't deserve this. *pouts on his behalf*
Uh... Hang on... What? That's... A smile? I'm... Confused.
Are you serious?! Suddenly you're all Best Friends Forever?!
YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO BREAK ME ON PURPOSE! I SMELL CONSPIRACY!
So back when I originally sent V and Risso from the house and off to college I promised Valencia she'd get to mess around and sow her oats a bit before she settled down with her pre-destined relationship with Cube. So she slept with Jemima, who moved on to dark meats, but she hadn't really done a whole lot since then. So I figured, TIME to head down town and catch her a man. Or three! :D
Things didn't start off that well, however. This random secret society dude jept stealing all of V's drinks, making her pay for them, but refusing to engage her in conversation. UNNACEPTABLE! So I made her leave this dive and try for another stunning locale...
YAY FRANCIS J WORTHINGTON III! I let V do whatever she felt like for a while while I watched him play this entire game of pool. And he so won. Potted that black with the secure self assurance of the king of everything that he is! :D /fangirls
The next bar V hit happened to be Malcom Landgrabb IV's. And it was COMPLETELY empty apart from him. So what does he try to do? Hit on V of course.
I was all for it, I mean if you're gonna have a crazy college fling, the dude might as well be totally loaded, amirite? But V was having NONE of it. He so much as smiled in her general direction and she turned on him and his monkey meat.
He's not so bad, V? Surely you'd go a bit of that? No?
Valencia: I THINK NOT! This here!? *crosses arms* THIS is my space.
UNDEAD STEP MOTHER CAMEO, ENGAGE!! Yay!! *huggles* Helloes Angie! How you doing honey? Still the most awesomest zombie bride that ever existed? EXCELLENT!
V is still the QUEEN of the Dance Electro Sphere. Need to get her butt abducted so she does the vanishing thing, and then she would be its empress! *loves on her absolute delight when in this thing*
NUUU!!! Why do waiters insist on coating my sims with side salads? Does she look like she'd be tasty with a a nice warm chianti to you?
Don't answer that.
A restaurant full of marks and I had no idea who to send her after, and I was wondering if she was gonna hit a girl so I had V scope the room. AND LOOK WHO BECAME THE ANGEL OF GLOWY HOTNESS!? Its that random Downtownie that thinks he's Roger Moore. Don't tell me you don't know the one. He was busy having a guys night out on the town, talking of oversized hats and busts no less, but after the strike rate V'd been having all night I figured she couldn't look a gift glow in the mouth.
Y HALLOOOOW THAR PRETTY DOWNTOWNIE. I wanted you to get in ma Legacy, but now you wont exist cause I'm switching computers with all new hoods with all new fresh naming modifier and a fresh mix up of four different people's face templates. BOOOYAH FOR THAT! Boo for losing you!
You were still GORGEOUS IMO *snuggles*
Valencia: OooOoooh! A present, for me?!
Me: Yes darling, he's ALL yours.
Valencia: SQUUEEEEEE!!
...And one successful boob squish later and they're slow dancing under the stars.
Craven: HOSHIT, VAL! You got yourself some even BIGGER boobs..!
Valencia: HOSHIT DAD! YOU GOT YOURSELF VAMPED! O_O
Craven & Valencia: *high fives*
For some reason, Craven decided bringing his 8 year old son along to a night visit to his eldest kids' dorm. I know its the only time he CAN take his son on outings, being a vamp and all, but surely there's better ways of spending quality time?
This is the last time you'll see Rhone this legacy. I think he knew that and thusly decided to WORK his last lingering shot. Eating the lens? Rhone says om nom.
I swear V, if come home to check in with this damn rack ONE more time I'm going to turn the next challenge into a homage to Fahrenheit 451.
Valencia: But Nett! The spice must flow!
Nett: *headdesk*
After a five minute conversation with her father consisting of a major gossip session or three involving everything from Lyna's conjugal stylings (Craven, seriously, lrn2appropriateaudience k?) to Angie's foot odour, the conversation turned to something rather more titilating in V's case and she rolled a want to invite a certain someone over.
And this certain someone excitedly accepted the invitation and was welcomed with a shocked but not on any level unwelcome kiss! WHO COULD IT BE NOW!? :D
WHOOOO COULD IT BEEEE NOW?! Awww, every day's a musical when you're in love!
Uh.. We break from our regularly scheduled guest-reveal to question Jemima: Why is your girlfriend, Ashley, transparent? Honey?
OH GOD. This is a sign of VERY BAD THINGS... >_<;;;
PaedoCook is also PERPLEXED™ Right there with ya, PaedoCook™.
Who knew father/son bonding time involved getting high and singing Bette Midler tunes?
Guys? If the last time you spent quality time with YOUR vampire father didn't *coughflycough* this way, URDOINITWRONG!
RECOGNISE THE FACE?!?!?! ITS CUBE!!!!!!! *dance dance* He had a post-near-death-experience make over, sorted his shit out, gave up the cleaning business, moved in with a highly accomodating vampire-ess, saved her life (oh yeah you KNOW the one) and using her contacts embraced his diplomatic roots to become a much loved senator.
Cube? He's been busy attempting to earn Valencia's love. And why does he look SO utterly elated?!
Wouldn't you if the object of your affection called you up in the middle of the night and then repeatedly got on her knees for you?
Look at that little face, she's so eager to please!
This screenshot is taken from just above the waist up to shield your virgin eyes.
Cube? Valencia? I forbid you from calling your first born sons Neil and Bob, k?
So their rapturous reunion settled a little, the couple repaired to the roof where Cube took V's hand in his and recited some super wanky poetry to her. Can't say it would work for me but Valencia, just like Joanne Whalley before her, lapped that crap up like she had a raspy cat tongue and Cube's quotations from Willow was freshly clotted cream.
Well okay, quoting from Willow might win me over too... As would stealing babies from a stupid Daikini!
Craven: Oh, REEEEEEEEEEEALLY?! Well in that case: Wanna breed?
Me: Tempting... but no.
Having spent the entire night on the prowl for a man... Scoring one, then dumping him to go spend quality time with her Dad, then calling her OTP over for a special night of public displays of 'affection' and all-night poetry readings, the clock struck 6am and Valencia had to rush off to her final freshman year exam on NO. SLEEP. AT. ALL.
Guess that spot on the Dean's List has been kicked for romantical shenanigans. ^_^;;
It also being 6am I realised that Craven was still floating about by the hookah laughing uproariously on his own. Risso had abandoned him for bed hours beforehand and Craven decided to prove to me that he's the WORST. VAMPIRE. EVER. No motion at all towards leaving he looked set to move in onto that cushion and stay till he became a dry, wind-prone pile of ash.
NOT ON MY WATCH, MISTER! Lyna'd come out of the game and kick my arse! So Risso, the ever vigilant son that he is. Uh... Little sister costodial duties notwithstanding, ushered his father up from his perch, hugged him goodbye and shoved him out the door as the first tendrils of morning light began to clutch at the landscape.
Such a good boy, you shall be rewarded, Risso! I don't know how... BUT YOU SHALL!
♥
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