Because I love you ~ Aishiteiru Kara - Prologue [0/10]
Title: Because I love you ~ Aishiteiru Kara
Author: fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Kame x Girl
Genre: Romance, Drama, Smut, Angst
Rating: NC-17 (for later in the story xD)
Disclaimer: I do not own Kamenashi Kazuya though God knows how I wish lol. Neither I own the lyrics or the red bolded phrases that appear at the beginning of each chapter.
Warning: The story is written in my language and it's not finished, so it will take a while. This is a Kame x Girl story, so if you don't like seeing/imagining/reading about him with a girl, then this is not for you. Also, the story is unbeta-ed so I apologize beforehand for possible mistakes.
Summary: This a simple love story as simple love stories can be. If you're into fluffy, romantic and dramatic stories, then follow Kazu and Mika.
A/N: This story is written since summer days, influenced by Kame's Aishiteiru Kara. As I simply love the song, I began to imagine and write things about him and unknown girl. As you'll see, in my story Aishiteiru Kara hasn't been written yet. Also, I didn't take notice of the latest events concerning KAT-TUN beside Akanishi Jin leaving the band, so there might not be mentions of new releases, world tour etc.
A/N2: As I focus mainly on the two of them, you won't be seeing other pairing too much unless my dirty mind leads me to them XD The female character is from Romania (that's where I live) because I find it more easily to relate to life from here than to imagine one in US or any other place in Europe ^^" So you'll be seeing words in Romanian which undoubtly they will have their explanations in English.
A/N3: The story is structured on 10 chapters plus prologue and epilogue.
These being said, I hope you'll enjoy reading this prologue and it will make you want to read more >///< I'm so unsure about this
Because I love you ~ Aishiteiru Kara
Prologue
You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of it.
Kazu
If tonight I would lose you…
But I already have…
I won’t forget, because I still love you…
Have these words reached you?
Kazu…
I still hear your voice inside of me. It’s like you’ve become a part of me, it’s like you’ve never left. But I know very well that I’ll never hear you calling me again ‘Kazu’. Not after…I chased you away.
Kazu…we need to talk.
Right now!?
I know it’s not the best of the moments, but I don’t know what to do.
Mika, I have to be on stage in less than two minutes!
I know, I know! But, Kazu, I’m scared!
I don’t have time right now, wait for me.
Kazu…
I didn’t listen to you; I did nothing to chase away the fear in your eyes which I didn’t notice until it was too late. I left without looking back, thinking that you’ll always be there…in the back, supporting me. But I hoped too much and I got wrong too much. I didn’t paid attention to the person who deserved more and I chose the stage. Again, the same choice.
Do you regret not playing baseball anymore?
But I am!
It’s not what I meant, but you know…that you aren’t with a team, even the national one…
…
Kazu?
I don’t thing I regret. You see, the stage has its advantages; maybe I’m not playing baseball as I wished when I was younger…but, at least, I do play it a little.
Yes, that’s right. You don’t have why to regret it.
Your smile back then convinced me. The fact that you were soothing the thorns in my heart, I thought it was good, that I don’t have why to regret it. But…I knew too well that I was. In a way or another, I’ve lost a longed dream and gained one less wanted. But time erased little by little these wishes, and finally, I succeeded in enjoying the stage - the real stage. And then you appeared, and once more, I had to choose. Just like baseball, I lost you. Only that your place could never be filled. Never.
You know…when you are out there, on stage. It’s like you’re sparkling. But sometimes, I have the impression that you want to hide, that you wish to disappear.
Where did you get these ideas?
I don’t know…maybe because I love you.
I didn’t know what to answer back then. Or even how to return your love words. It’s not that I didn’t love you, but simply because I was scared of even whisper them. Scared that if I did it, you would’ve disappeared. But even without saying them…you vanished. You left and never explained why you knew best what my moods were when I was there - on stage.
Looking back at the distance between you and me…
A distance that I’ll never surpass…or make it lost in void.
You taught me that…I am not alone.
Yes, you taught me that, but never how is it to be without you. This lesson you skipped and now I have to learn it by myself. I’m afraid that I won’t succeed. Will you return if I won’t? Will you smile to me like then? Will you still call me ‘Kazu’?
I’m missing you.
Kazu!! You were brilliant!
Weren’t I?
Yes! I almost cried when you sang Kizuna.
I sang for you back then. This was my concert for you.
For me?
Your expression back then made me laugh; even now it cracks a smile. You were so surprised, though the happiness of having sung to you on the stage of everybody was even more obvious. And you smile…I’ll never forget it. You took me in your arms back then, whispered with a hoarse voice how much you love and then you retreated, jumping like a little child. In that moment, was it earthquake…I would still be happy. Happy to have you.
But even so, you left together with your smile and your words, together with your happiness of hear me singing, together with everything you meant for me. When finally…I managed to say…
Pentru ca te iubesc.
Mika
例えば もしこの夜僕が君を失ったとしても
There was never a ‘maybe’. You should have known.
忘れないよ 僕は君を 愛しているから。
If you felt this way, why didn’t you ever told me? Why did you wait for me to leave to write this song? I can’t go back, even if I wanted to. I understood back then, in fact, I knew. I knew how much meant the stage to you; I knew that no matter how much I wanted I could never surpass its importance. But human do hope, no? And I’m human…
Mika…
God! How much I’d give to get your voice out of my head! A voice that pierces through me each time I’m alone and I’m remembering the past…us. I wish I could get away from all, to lose every memory, to lose you from me. But…how ironic. I have from you more than it should have, even much more.
I don’t have time right now, wait for me.
Kazu…
I waited for you, you know? I waited until the concert was over; I looked at you from the back just like always. Even with the fear I was feeling, the admiration which I had for on stage-Kazu still engulfed me in its emotion. The same was the love that I felt for off stage-Kazu. And somehow the two of them combined inside of me and gave birth to something even more beautiful than them being separated. But all went cold the moment I lost sight of you. When you forgot about me and went further.
You should better stop it now, it’s such a shame to drink alone shōchū.
Then, accompany me.
If you promise that you’ll head for home tonight, without another glass, tomorrow night I’ll accompany.
Then, take me back home.
And so everything started, because of a simple glass of shōchū. If I had known that I would meet you in a god forsaken pub and that a dream of mine would get real, probably I would’ve searched for you a long time ago. Probably I would’ve sat there every night waiting for you. But...if I had known where we’d be now, I’m wondering if I would’ve accepted this kind of relationship with you. Probably I would’ve had, because after all...you were my dream.
Mika…you’re trembling.
Kazu…don’t stop…
Yes, I was trembling - because of emotion, because I was with you, because you were touching me, because you made me feel whole and entirely yours. Even now I feel a shiver of pleasure thinking back at the nights spent together, at your touch. You were so careful, afraid that I’ll break in your arms, but you gave me strength. You always made me be more powerful than I truly was. But this time you have exceeded yourself, because this strength had supported me when I left you.
果てなく 続く道の 中に君は 何を想うの
An endless road in which you’ve never set a foot on. A road full of thoughts related to you and us. A road which I’d like to change into another one…one without you.
忘れないで その心の そばにそっと居させて。
I didn’t forget, but you did. I’ve kept that feeling even when you weren’t beside me, as you ask to be now. I needed you, but now…I don’t know anymore. I’m fine alone, I’m content to even hear your voice from an mp3; even if in another time I heard it so close to my ear that it made me squirm in pleasure. Now I prefer moving on…on that road full of thoughts of you.
Kazu! I want you to teach me baseball.
What?! Are you sure…?
Yes! It always charmed me the thought of having a baseball bat into my hands…
Are you sure you’re still on baseball?
Don’t laugh! And yes, I’m still on. You’ll teach me, no?
We’ll see about that. I still doubt that you won’t chase me on the ground with the baseball bat.
You annoyed me back then, you know? But your laugh managed to calm me down; the fact that you were amused by the thought of chasing you with a baseball bat…well, it amused me too. And, of course, I liked the idea too much of not really trying it out. But I didn’t expect for you to really teach me. I knew how busy you were and how little time you had for you, that’s why I didn’t even insist any more on this thought. But…when I saw you at the door with a huge grin and a baseball bat in hand, I couldn’t help myself but laugh. You were so sweet, so adorable that I wanted to kidnap you and never let you be found again. I wanted you to be mine…only mine. Even now when I’m gone and left you.
Why are you laughing?!
Your upset expression turned into a shy and surprised one. You were still not used to those words…
愛しているから。
-------------------------------------
Notes:
1. Both of the lyrics (Japanese and English) in italics are from Aishiteiru Kara.
2. First two lines of kanji have the same meaning as the first two lyrics in English at the beginning of the prologue. (Kazu's part)
3. For the following lines in Kanji, the translation is the following: In the endless road, what you feel, don’t forget that feeling and let me be beside you.
4. The closing line in kanji means, obviously, ~ Aishiteiru kara.
-------------------------------------
Thank you for reading and you know I love your comments *hugs*
Author: fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Kame x Girl
Genre: Romance, Drama, Smut, Angst
Rating: NC-17 (for later in the story xD)
Disclaimer: I do not own Kamenashi Kazuya though God knows how I wish lol. Neither I own the lyrics or the red bolded phrases that appear at the beginning of each chapter.
Warning: The story is written in my language and it's not finished, so it will take a while. This is a Kame x Girl story, so if you don't like seeing/imagining/reading about him with a girl, then this is not for you. Also, the story is unbeta-ed so I apologize beforehand for possible mistakes.
Summary: This a simple love story as simple love stories can be. If you're into fluffy, romantic and dramatic stories, then follow Kazu and Mika.
A/N: This story is written since summer days, influenced by Kame's Aishiteiru Kara. As I simply love the song, I began to imagine and write things about him and unknown girl. As you'll see, in my story Aishiteiru Kara hasn't been written yet. Also, I didn't take notice of the latest events concerning KAT-TUN beside Akanishi Jin leaving the band, so there might not be mentions of new releases, world tour etc.
A/N2: As I focus mainly on the two of them, you won't be seeing other pairing too much unless my dirty mind leads me to them XD The female character is from Romania (that's where I live) because I find it more easily to relate to life from here than to imagine one in US or any other place in Europe ^^" So you'll be seeing words in Romanian which undoubtly they will have their explanations in English.
A/N3: The story is structured on 10 chapters plus prologue and epilogue.
These being said, I hope you'll enjoy reading this prologue and it will make you want to read more >///< I'm so unsure about this
Because I love you ~ Aishiteiru Kara
Prologue
You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of it.
Kazu
If tonight I would lose you…
But I already have…
I won’t forget, because I still love you…
Have these words reached you?
Kazu…
I still hear your voice inside of me. It’s like you’ve become a part of me, it’s like you’ve never left. But I know very well that I’ll never hear you calling me again ‘Kazu’. Not after…I chased you away.
Kazu…we need to talk.
Right now!?
I know it’s not the best of the moments, but I don’t know what to do.
Mika, I have to be on stage in less than two minutes!
I know, I know! But, Kazu, I’m scared!
I don’t have time right now, wait for me.
Kazu…
I didn’t listen to you; I did nothing to chase away the fear in your eyes which I didn’t notice until it was too late. I left without looking back, thinking that you’ll always be there…in the back, supporting me. But I hoped too much and I got wrong too much. I didn’t paid attention to the person who deserved more and I chose the stage. Again, the same choice.
Do you regret not playing baseball anymore?
But I am!
It’s not what I meant, but you know…that you aren’t with a team, even the national one…
…
Kazu?
I don’t thing I regret. You see, the stage has its advantages; maybe I’m not playing baseball as I wished when I was younger…but, at least, I do play it a little.
Yes, that’s right. You don’t have why to regret it.
Your smile back then convinced me. The fact that you were soothing the thorns in my heart, I thought it was good, that I don’t have why to regret it. But…I knew too well that I was. In a way or another, I’ve lost a longed dream and gained one less wanted. But time erased little by little these wishes, and finally, I succeeded in enjoying the stage - the real stage. And then you appeared, and once more, I had to choose. Just like baseball, I lost you. Only that your place could never be filled. Never.
You know…when you are out there, on stage. It’s like you’re sparkling. But sometimes, I have the impression that you want to hide, that you wish to disappear.
Where did you get these ideas?
I don’t know…maybe because I love you.
I didn’t know what to answer back then. Or even how to return your love words. It’s not that I didn’t love you, but simply because I was scared of even whisper them. Scared that if I did it, you would’ve disappeared. But even without saying them…you vanished. You left and never explained why you knew best what my moods were when I was there - on stage.
Looking back at the distance between you and me…
A distance that I’ll never surpass…or make it lost in void.
You taught me that…I am not alone.
Yes, you taught me that, but never how is it to be without you. This lesson you skipped and now I have to learn it by myself. I’m afraid that I won’t succeed. Will you return if I won’t? Will you smile to me like then? Will you still call me ‘Kazu’?
I’m missing you.
Kazu!! You were brilliant!
Weren’t I?
Yes! I almost cried when you sang Kizuna.
I sang for you back then. This was my concert for you.
For me?
Your expression back then made me laugh; even now it cracks a smile. You were so surprised, though the happiness of having sung to you on the stage of everybody was even more obvious. And you smile…I’ll never forget it. You took me in your arms back then, whispered with a hoarse voice how much you love and then you retreated, jumping like a little child. In that moment, was it earthquake…I would still be happy. Happy to have you.
But even so, you left together with your smile and your words, together with your happiness of hear me singing, together with everything you meant for me. When finally…I managed to say…
Pentru ca te iubesc.
Mika
例えば もしこの夜僕が君を失ったとしても
There was never a ‘maybe’. You should have known.
忘れないよ 僕は君を 愛しているから。
If you felt this way, why didn’t you ever told me? Why did you wait for me to leave to write this song? I can’t go back, even if I wanted to. I understood back then, in fact, I knew. I knew how much meant the stage to you; I knew that no matter how much I wanted I could never surpass its importance. But human do hope, no? And I’m human…
Mika…
God! How much I’d give to get your voice out of my head! A voice that pierces through me each time I’m alone and I’m remembering the past…us. I wish I could get away from all, to lose every memory, to lose you from me. But…how ironic. I have from you more than it should have, even much more.
I don’t have time right now, wait for me.
Kazu…
I waited for you, you know? I waited until the concert was over; I looked at you from the back just like always. Even with the fear I was feeling, the admiration which I had for on stage-Kazu still engulfed me in its emotion. The same was the love that I felt for off stage-Kazu. And somehow the two of them combined inside of me and gave birth to something even more beautiful than them being separated. But all went cold the moment I lost sight of you. When you forgot about me and went further.
You should better stop it now, it’s such a shame to drink alone shōchū.
Then, accompany me.
If you promise that you’ll head for home tonight, without another glass, tomorrow night I’ll accompany.
Then, take me back home.
And so everything started, because of a simple glass of shōchū. If I had known that I would meet you in a god forsaken pub and that a dream of mine would get real, probably I would’ve searched for you a long time ago. Probably I would’ve sat there every night waiting for you. But...if I had known where we’d be now, I’m wondering if I would’ve accepted this kind of relationship with you. Probably I would’ve had, because after all...you were my dream.
Mika…you’re trembling.
Kazu…don’t stop…
Yes, I was trembling - because of emotion, because I was with you, because you were touching me, because you made me feel whole and entirely yours. Even now I feel a shiver of pleasure thinking back at the nights spent together, at your touch. You were so careful, afraid that I’ll break in your arms, but you gave me strength. You always made me be more powerful than I truly was. But this time you have exceeded yourself, because this strength had supported me when I left you.
果てなく 続く道の 中に君は 何を想うの
An endless road in which you’ve never set a foot on. A road full of thoughts related to you and us. A road which I’d like to change into another one…one without you.
忘れないで その心の そばにそっと居させて。
I didn’t forget, but you did. I’ve kept that feeling even when you weren’t beside me, as you ask to be now. I needed you, but now…I don’t know anymore. I’m fine alone, I’m content to even hear your voice from an mp3; even if in another time I heard it so close to my ear that it made me squirm in pleasure. Now I prefer moving on…on that road full of thoughts of you.
Kazu! I want you to teach me baseball.
What?! Are you sure…?
Yes! It always charmed me the thought of having a baseball bat into my hands…
Are you sure you’re still on baseball?
Don’t laugh! And yes, I’m still on. You’ll teach me, no?
We’ll see about that. I still doubt that you won’t chase me on the ground with the baseball bat.
You annoyed me back then, you know? But your laugh managed to calm me down; the fact that you were amused by the thought of chasing you with a baseball bat…well, it amused me too. And, of course, I liked the idea too much of not really trying it out. But I didn’t expect for you to really teach me. I knew how busy you were and how little time you had for you, that’s why I didn’t even insist any more on this thought. But…when I saw you at the door with a huge grin and a baseball bat in hand, I couldn’t help myself but laugh. You were so sweet, so adorable that I wanted to kidnap you and never let you be found again. I wanted you to be mine…only mine. Even now when I’m gone and left you.
Why are you laughing?!
Your upset expression turned into a shy and surprised one. You were still not used to those words…
愛しているから。
-------------------------------------
Notes:
1. Both of the lyrics (Japanese and English) in italics are from Aishiteiru Kara.
2. First two lines of kanji have the same meaning as the first two lyrics in English at the beginning of the prologue. (Kazu's part)
3. For the following lines in Kanji, the translation is the following: In the endless road, what you feel, don’t forget that feeling and let me be beside you.
4. The closing line in kanji means, obviously, ~ Aishiteiru kara.
-------------------------------------
Thank you for reading and you know I love your comments *hugs*