[Angel/BtvS]: The Tossing Sea (Which Cannot Rest)

[minviendha]

Title: The Tossing Sea (Which Cannot Rest)
Fandom: Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Summary: Angel, resouled. From Gypsies to Whistler. Angst, crazy, and a fuckton of biblical references.
Notes: If you want to look up some of the references, feel free. I had a lot of fun with them. And this. Though it took me way too long.

Comments

Long TL;DR concrit, part the Once

[tomboy_typist]

Soooooooo, here's my TL;DR. I'm sorry that it's so long AND that it took so long. I've been having focus issues of late, and I wanted to give you something thorough and thought out. So here it is.

So, a disclaimer first! As mentioned before, I'm not all confident that I can give educated feedback because I'm not very good with TV voice etc. And of course any concrit that's below is entirely optional and if you disregard it, I really won't be miffed, because again, I don't really know what I'm doing. And please please please don't think I didn't like this fic! I really did, it's wonderfully written and I'm jealous of your mad writing skillz, always. But, er, asked for feedback, I always try to go as deep as I can into stuff, so... er. Yeah. Here's some teal deer. Erhm.

On we go! From what I remember of Angel the Series (and I did the marathon 5 years ago, so bear with me), it works and is consistent with the angsty feedbacks you get in the series. :) For what it's worth, I like your Angel voice quite a bit. The only thing I

Long TL;DR concrit, part the Deuce

[tomboy_typist]

And now for a few more detailed comments, which (again) I take full responsibility for and so if you don't like them and don't want to use them, I won't be offended, of course. ^_^ ♥

[He leaves the girl on the beach with the tide coming in, and heads south, toward the sun. ] <--- just because you'd be walking east to meet the rising sun, this read funnily to me.... er.

[He pulls away. “I cannot,” he cries, in Romanian. “I can’t. I can’t.”] <--- It's not clear to me why he'd be crying out in Romanian? Maybe in Gaelic would be more logical, what with the being Irish and all.

[He kills his first vampire months (or is it years? All time is the same now, too long) afterward. ] <--- this bit looks funny because of punctuation - maybe consider moving the parentheses around?

[Survive. It would be unworthy to do anything else. He is Angelus. There is nothing he is afraid of. (Except an eternity with this pain that he can’t fight.)

He does not contemplate too closely.

He kills his first vampire months (or is it years? All time is the same now, too