[Angel/BtvS]: The Tossing Sea (Which Cannot Rest)
Title: The Tossing Sea (Which Cannot Rest)
Fandom: Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Summary: Angel, resouled. From Gypsies to Whistler. Angst, crazy, and a fuckton of biblical references.
Notes: If you want to look up some of the references, feel free. I had a lot of fun with them. And this. Though it took me way too long.
( But the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud. )
Fandom: Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Summary: Angel, resouled. From Gypsies to Whistler. Angst, crazy, and a fuckton of biblical references.
Notes: If you want to look up some of the references, feel free. I had a lot of fun with them. And this. Though it took me way too long.
( But the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud. )
And now for a few more detailed comments, which (again) I take full responsibility for and so if you don't like them and don't want to use them, I won't be offended, of course. ^_^ ♥
[He leaves the girl on the beach with the tide coming in, and heads south, toward the sun. ] <--- just because you'd be walking east to meet the rising sun, this read funnily to me.... er.
[He pulls away. “I cannot,” he cries, in Romanian. “I can’t. I can’t.”] <--- It's not clear to me why he'd be crying out in Romanian? Maybe in Gaelic would be more logical, what with the being Irish and all.
[He kills his first vampire months (or is it years? All time is the same now, too long) afterward. ] <--- this bit looks funny because of punctuation - maybe consider moving the parentheses around?
[Survive. It would be unworthy to do anything else. He is Angelus. There is nothing he is afraid of. (Except an eternity with this pain that he can’t fight.)
He does not contemplate too closely.
He kills his first vampire months (or is it years? All time is the same now, too long) afterward. Barely a whelp, he is as conspicuous as he is arrogant. He recognizes Angel and apparently his disgrace is still unknown, because the whelp seems inclined to treat him expansively rather than with disgust, though he can see the eyes on his ragged clothes, his too thin face]
^ In this passage, I kind of lost the sense of who we're talking about, for some reason... I'm not sure what to suggest to help with that, though.
[Whatever else he does not know, which seems to be everything. ] <--- I'm not sure "whatever else" works for me? "Everything else he does not know" seems to be a stronger statement.
[He used to curse when his childer disturbed his quiet] <-- Typo! Do you mean "children?"
[“Forget it, Jim. He’ll be dead before long. Filthy street scum.” ] <--- this made me smile because it reminded me of the infamous "It's dead, Jim" quote. ^^
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