FIC FOR SUGIEX part 4
For: sugiex
From: yumemirunosekai
Title: Post Tenebras, Lux (Part 4)
Pairings/Characters: Kamenashi Kazuya/Ueda Tatsuya (main), Taguchi Junnosuke, Tanaka Koki, Toda Erika (side)
Rating: NC 17+
Warnings: blood, violence, gore, angst, AU, sci-fi
Notes: My first attempt at an AU/sci-fi fic. This a KAT-TUN gen fic with a side of KameDa. The personality I chose for Kame is Shuuji's real personality (the one that surfaces when he's with Akira, all prickly and whatnot) I have to emphasise that I tried to make this fic as close to reality as possible, in favour of my recipient, so expect less fluff and more… well. Reality.
Summary: Post Tenebras, Lux. ‘From Darkness, Light.’ The Red Plague has wiped out almost half the world’s population. Kame is a typical high school student who wants the easy way out of things, choosing to live in his own little world and ignore reality. When the lockdown sequence begins, he is thrown into another world where humans are animals, and killing seems to become a second nature. This is not a story of adventure, but reality.
part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5
///
As usual, when Kame returns to the brothel, he doesn’t do anything else, but makes a beeline for the showers located at the very back of the building. He ignores Koki’s annoyed yell of ‘Hey! Get back here and help me with this stuff!’ and just half runs to his destination.
Christ, he smelled. He stank of sweat, grime and infected people. Their stink seems to saturate the air outside, seeping into his clothes and under his skin and-
Kame whimpers. He throws open the door and slams it shut behind him. There is no lock, but Kame hardly cares. He has to get it off him, the smell. He strips down and just leaves his clothes in a messy pile on the tiled floor before slipping into the shower booth. It smells of mildew and muck, but Kame is willing to do anything just to get the stink off his skin.
He turns the water on to full blast and grabs the bar of soap in the corner as well as a scrubber that he usually uses. He lathers the soap and drags it across his thin body, before using the scrubber and scraping roughly at his skin.
Why? Why does he still smell it? It’s never like this normally. The smell has never stuck this long before. Kame scrubs harder and he barely feels the pain as the rough scrubber scratches raw skin. Kame’s breaths come out in short pants as he just washes himself, scrubbing and scrubbing. He’s panicking now, because he can still smell it. A whimper that echoes around the bathroom is drowned out by a following cry and Kame almost scratches his skin off.
Oh god. It isn’t coming off- It isn’t- It isn’t coming-
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Kame barely hears it, and he would have continued scrubbing himself raw, if it wasn’t for the hand that closes tightly around his wrist. He finally lifts his eyes up and sees Ueda from beneath his dripping bangs. The older man is staring at him, brows furrowed and jaw set. He looks furious, and is still dressed in a sleeves tank and track pants, so he was probably taking a nap earlier.
Kame blinks.
“I-” he pants, eyes darting around the room. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he snaps feebly. “I’m taking a friggin’ bath, and you’re interrupting.”
Kame tries to tug his hand away. He has to continue washing himself. The smell is still there-
“No, you aren’t,” Ueda growls lowly. “You’re skinning yourself alive.” He yanks at Kame’s wrist, showing him the red skin where pinpricks of blood are visible. “Stop it, and get the hell out of here. You’ve showered long enough.”
“Let me go Ueda,” Kame hisses and tugs roughly at his wrist. “I’m not done.”
Can’t Ueda smell it? The stink on his skin?
“Bullshit,” Ueda spits. “You’re getting out right-”
“NO,” Kame wails, and his voice cracks. Ueda’s eyes snap towards his own in shock, and Kame’s breath hitches uncontrollably. He manages to tug his wrist out of Ueda’s hand, and this sends him sprawling backwards toward the wall opposite in the small shower booth on unsteady knees. Once away from Ueda, he takes his scrubber and scrapes at this skin again.
“I have to get it off me- Ueda- I can’t- I can’t- I FUCKING HATE THE SMELL,” Kame says brokenly and shudders. Ueda will never understand. Kame just can’t take this anymore. “I stink,” Kame continues. “I stink all right? And I hate it. I have to get it off me. I have to.”
It’s silence for a long time, and Ueda just watches Kame, who continues to wash himself, his breath coming out in shuddering pants. It’s a long time and Kame doesn’t look up, but Ueda’s shadow looms closer, and suddenly the man in in front of him, eyes dark and dilated as he stands under the shower, clothes and all, before closing the booth door with a quiet click.
Ueda’s gaze is so intense that Kame can feel his knees knock together unsteadily. With strong hands, Ueda snatches Kame’s wrists and removes the sharp scrubber he used to mutilate himself with and chucked it to one side, before allowing his eyes to follow the long, thin bloody lines that trail around Kame’s naked arms and torso.
The water beats down on Ueda’s hair, and it falls wetly into his eyes, and Kame can’t help but be distracted by Ueda’s curling lashes. He’s really is pretty for a guy.
“Look, you’ve been hurting yourself,” Ueda says quietly, and he lets his fingers brush lightly over Kame’s raw skin. “Don’t do it.”
Ueda then proceeds to kiss every single surface of scratched skin, his lips leaving burning trails in it’s wake. Kame’s breath hitches as Ueda glides his tongue over his forearm. “Stop it,” Kame whispers, and tries to pull away, only now Ueda doesn’t let him.
“Why? Am I hurting you?”
“No. It’s just that-”
Ueda looks at him expectantly.
“I smell, Ueda,” Kame says finally, and he blinks the tears - or water, he can’t be sure - from his eyes, and glares at a spot behind Ueda’s head. “I can’t- I can’t get the stink off me. I smell like those rotting people out there, Ueda. I just can’t deal with it.”
Ueda doesn’t respond, but his takes Kame’s face between his hands, and leans in with a soft, ‘May I?’ before kissing him slowly, and deeply, until Kame sees white behind his eyelids, and a fire begins to burn in the stomach, just above his groin.
When he pulls away, he keeps his forehead pressed against Kame’s, breath fanning the space between them. Kame is left breathless, and all he can think about is that Ueda is seriously an amazing kisser.
“You don’t smell, you idiot,” Ueda says softly, secretly.
Kame swallows. “I do,” he whispers. “You’re lying.”
Ueda suddenly looks incredibly annoyed, and he pulls away to glare at Kame, before delving in to suck against the sweet column of his throat. Kame gasps, and he tries to push Ueda away. “Stop it, Ueda. I smell-”
“Shut up you little pessimist,” he snaps, drawing away before reaching down to grab Kame’s already half hard cock, making the latter inhale sharply and bite his lip to stop a moan from escaping. Ueda pumps it slowly, until Kame is panting harshly, breaths leaving his lips in shuddering bursts.
“What are you-?”
But Ueda kisses him again, and Kame whimpers into the kiss. It’s deep and hot, and all tongue, making Kame want to explode from sheer pleasure that shoots straight to his nether regions.
“Fuck,” Ueda moans into the kiss, “Fuck.” And he flips Kame around so that his chest is pressed up against the shower stall wall, palms flat against the tiles and naked butt facing Ueda. Ueda bites down on his collarbone, and Kame hears him stripping out of his soggy track pants and top, before feeling taut muscles pressed against his back, and Ueda’s own throbbing erection up against his tailbone.
Kame moans softly as Ueda trails kisses down his slender back, hands tight against his hips. “Huh,” he suddenly says, tone amused. Kame feels a slender finger trace a gentle line down his left butt cheek. He shudders, “You do have three moles down your butt cheek. And I thought your smiley friend was joking.”
“Fuck you,” Kame hisses, hating how Ueda has stopped his ministrations.
Then the finger moves in between his butt cheeks, and brushes against his entrance, and Kame moans loudly, making Ueda grin.
“I am about to,” Ueda whispers sensually, and slowly pushes a finger inside, making Kame whimper. “Want me to stop?”
When Ueda inserts another finger, and curls them tantalisingly inside him, Kame's knees buckle and he nearly crashes to the floor. Ueda’s arm around his waist the only brace keeping him standing. He shakes his head roughly, and he hears a soft laugh from Ueda. “You know that once I start, I can’t stop?”
Kame nods. He just wants Ueda to never stop whatever he’s doing with those amazing fingers.
“Really? You’re sure? You do know I’m a whore, right?” Ueda asks, and inserts yet another finger, stretching Kame further, tearing a pained groan from him that quickly shifts to pleasurable whimpers.
“Kamenashi, are you-”
“Shut the fuck up and just DO ME already,” Kame spits, and his growl ends in a whine when Ueda removes his fingers, before angling his erection at Kame’s hole.
“You really are just a kid,” Ueda chuckles, and slowly, bracing himself against Kame’s soft back, pushes in.
Kame hisses at the pain that shoots up his body like hot poker, thousands of fiery pins and needles sticking into the column of his spine, but Ueda doesn’t stop until he is completely buried to the hilt, letting out a low groan upon filling himself into that tight heat. Kame can literally feel Ueda inside him, and it hurts. God, it fucking hurts.
Ueda doesn’t move though, because he can feel Kame’s muscles seizing, and the smaller man taking in shuddering breaths, hands curled into fists against the wall in pain. Ueda has to do everything in his willpower to not move until Kame is comfortable. He leans forward and kisses Kame’s shoulder, hands tracing comforting circles along his waist. “Are you okay?” he asks, and Kame would have been surprised by the worry in his voice if he wasn’t hurting this much.
He wonders if Ueda will stop if he asks. It’s unlikely, since Kame can practically feel the tension in Ueda’s muscles as he restrains himself from going crazy. “U-Ueda,” Kame begins uncertainly. “I don’t-”
“If you want to stop, just tell me,” Ueda says gently before Kame finishes his sentence, slender fingers stroking Kame’s taut waist. He presses a kiss into Kame’s wet hair. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, all right?” he continues soothingly. “I wouldn’t hurt you.”
Kame blushes and swallows. “I-I’m fine,” he whispers tightly. “You c-can move if you want to.”
Ueda nuzzles Kame’s wet shoulder. “You sure?”
Kame bites his lip, nodding uncertainly. Ueda then grips his hips and starts to move with slow, controlled thrusts. But as soon as he does, a stab of pain shoots up Kame’s spine, and he yelps sharply, body seizing and muscles tightening immediately. He shakes his head hard. “Wait, wait- please,” he gasps.
Kame’s breath is ragged, and his body is trembling, afraid that Ueda will just continue, but Ueda doesn’t. He whispers the sweetest, most comforting words in to his ear as he massages Kame’s waist. “Relax,” he says softly. “It will hurt if you don’t.”
Kame gulps and nods, trying to loosen his muscles. “O-Okay,” he breathes, and braces himself. “Alright. I-I’m good.”
“Sure?”
Kame nods, and Ueda moves his hips once again, rolling them slightly and moving in a fluid, yet slow pace to avoid hurting Kame further. Gradually, the pain disappears and Kame now just wants more of the delicious sensation that Ueda is taking too long giving him, so with a low growl, he bucks backwards, and Ueda sucks in a sharp breath, while Kame moans when he feels the older man hit something inside that makes his toes curl.
It’s a frenzy next. And Kame isn’t surprised that Ueda favours rough sex to vanilla. And when Ueda reaches forwards to pump his throbbing erection, it’s seconds before Kame comes hard with a high scream, that is muffled by Ueda’s free hand that presses onto his mouth.
When Kame blinks away the stars behind his eyelids, Ueda is still thrusting hard into him, literally shoving him into the wall. It doesn’t feel that good now, and it stings sharply whoever Ueda moves, but Kame wants him to come too, so he just grits his teeth and waits while trying to get his bearings straight.
When Ueda comes, he does so with a guttural groan, and spills himself inside Kame, who makes a noise when he feels Ueda’s semen filling him. He would have crashed to the ground, boneless if Ueda’s arms weren't around his waist.
It’s all quiet for awhile, before Ueda slowly flips Kame over to kiss him deeply. “That was probably the best sex I’ve ever had,” he says, grinning. “You?”
“I can’t say,” Kame breathes. “I’ve never had sex before this.”
Ueda pulls away and stares at Kame in blatant shock. “Are you serious?” he asks, slack-jawed. “Are you saying that this is your first- That I, am your first?”
Kame looks away, and bites his lip. “So?”
Ueda just gapes at him in flat out disbelief. “I- It’s just- You gave a whore, -you barely know me- your first time.”
Kame doesn’t get it. He had wanted to do it with Ueda. Was it wrong? “Was I wrong?” he asks slowly.
“Wrong?” Ueda chokes. “What the- I just don’t- nevermind.”
Ueda’s face is contorted in a way that Kame can’t stand. He reaches forward and catches Ueda’s lips with his own, before realising that this is the first time he has initiated a kiss, and not Ueda.
“You are really weird,” Ueda whispers against Kame’s red lips. “But at least you don’t think you smell anymore.”
Kame snaps his head up and he is surprised. He completely forgot about that. Cautiously, he sniffs his skin, and smells the air around him, and blinks.
There is no smell. The stink, it is gone. Not even a whiff is left. All Kame can smell is the minty smell of Ueda, mildew, musk, and sex. It invades his personal space, and he can’t help but feel all fuzzy.
Everything, even he smells of Ueda.
It’s a smell that sticks.
///
Kame wakes up in his bed, and Ueda’s gone. They had gone through yet another round after the bath yesterday, and Ueda had been as gentle as ever. When Kame wakes up to see the empty space next to him, he wonders, if he really is just Ueda’s fuck buddy, as Koki so crudely puts it.
The thought stings though, and for Kame, there’s nothing he can do, because this is just out of his control.
///
Ueda doesn’t bring up the incident, and he acts normally. Too normal in fact, that it hurts Kame, but since Ueda is fine, he’s determined to be fine too.
These trivial thoughts are put out of his mind when Koki comes running back from ration hunting one day (he goes alone because Kame is just too sore to even stand, let alone walk), looking harassed and out of breath. His words send a chill right up Kame’s spine.
“They are going to fumigate the entire city.”
Kame’s heart sinks.
///
“This was never mentioned in any of the plans,” Nakamaru says, looking thoughtful. “I mean, initially they did discuss about a quick way to get rid of the plague, but-”
“Like it’s such a big surprise that the government don’t give a shit about the people out here. I can bet you that there is no cure. They never planned to find one,” Koki growls, and swipes several shot glasses off the bar in anger.
“How can we escape this?” Kame asks, and Ueda’s eyes immediately fixes on him as soon as he speaks. Kame ignores it.
Nakamaru looks as though he’s thinking deeply, brows furrowed. “I- I really don’t know…”
Taguchi is perhaps the only one who looks nonchalant. “Well, why don’t we just find a way into those sanctuaries?” Taguchi says a matter of factly. “That’s the only safe haven right? So all we have to do is get in them.”
Ueda snorts derisively. “And pray tell, how exactly do we do that?” he says mockingly. “Those things are so heavily fortified, it’s tighter than Kame’s asshole.”
Kame freezes up, and he wants to punch Ueda. How dare he do this- make fun of him in front of people? Did he think it was funny? Kame blinks away the sand that is making pinprick of tears gather at the corners of his eyes.
“Stop teasing Kame because he’s a virgin,” Taguchi says, annoyed (Kame chokes on his saliva at this). “Anyway, shouldn’t there be blueprints of the sanctuaries lying around somewhere? In all this turmoil, some must have been left lying around.”
“Taguchi,” Nakamaru suddenly says, eyes glowing. “You should seriously act as smart as you really are.”
“THERE ARE LOOSE BLUEPRINTS LYING AROUND?” Koki yelps, eyes wide. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier!?”
“Because it’s a slim chance, you dimwit. I wasn’t prepared to risk our lives for a slim chance,” Nakamaru snaps. “But the hospital that I worked at - it’s somewhere around this area - was one of the few hospitals chosen to store the sanctuary blueprints. We could start there.”
Kame looks doubtful. “Are you sure there will be blueprints there in the first place?” he asks.
Nakamaru shakes his head. “No. I can’t be sure. But we have to take the chance. If it weren’t for this fumigation business, I would not risk it. That hospital was also used to house those infected with the plague that are at the terminal stages. So the entire building is highly biohazardrous.”
“But it’s the best chance we got,” Taguchi says. “We have to try.”
Kame watches the entire group, each of them determined to live. To survive. His gaze darts over Ueda, who looks away. Kame feels a cold hand clench around his stomach and yank at his intestines. Ueda really was just fucking with his mind. Kame has lost everything he has - his morals, his pride - all to that angelic looking sin that tasted of caramel and dark chocolate.
Kame smiles sadly.
The worst thing is that he doesn’t regret it one bit.
///
Kame and Koki go out for the last supply run, and Koki notes how strangely silent Kame is.
“What wrong?” he asks, and Kame looks up surprised.
“What?”
“You don’t look good. Hell, you look like crap.” Koki says gruffly. “Are you sleeping okay?”
Kame hesitates. He’s ashamed. Not because of Ueda, but because he still wants Ueda, and can’t bring himself to hate him. Heck, Kame is this close to telling himself that he most likely loves the man.
“I slept with Ueda,” he says flatly, not bothering to beat around the bush at all.
Koki blinks, before tossing his head back and laughing loudly. The sound echoes all around and it bites at Kame’s ears. “Shut up,” he spits angrily.
“Sorry,” Koki gasps. “It’s just that I thought it was something else. You sleeping with Ueda isn’t really a surprise to me.”
“I think I love him,” Kame says finally, annoyed at Koki’s flippant attitude.
The speed that Koki stops laughing and instead, stares at him in disbelief, is amazing. Kame would have laughed at Koki’s expression if he didn’t feel like shit at the moment.
“Excuse me, but am I hearing right?” Koki says warily. “Did you just say you-”
“Yes.”
“And are you certain-”
“Yes.”
Koki just stands there and gapes like a fish. “Okay, so when did you get this epiphany? Because I think that you are shitting with me here.”
Kame scowls. “There is no ‘epiphany’,” he hisses. “There is no realisation and no rainbows and unicorns here. I just- I just want to be with him. That’s all.” It’s plain and simple, but Koki doesn’t seem to agree.
“No,” he says flatly.
Kame blinks at how quickly Koki responds.
“You cannot love Ueda, Kame, if you know what’s healthy for you. He’s charming, alluring, but don’t forget, he’s a whore. Those characteristics come gift wrapped in a pretty little package along with lies and deceit.”
Kame swallows. Koki just goes on with his roll.
“It’s his job to draw you in like that. Don’t get me wrong, I like Ueda, but like I said, I don’t trust him fully, especially with fragile things like this. Ueda has a sense of loyalty, that is clear, and he is a good person, to a point; but his morals are way fucked up and too overly twisted.”
Kame doesn’t want to believe it, but he knows. He knows that Koki is right.
“Besides, Ueda says he isn’t into guys.”
“I’m not either,” Kame says. “Honest. I really am not.” he repeats quietly.
Koki shrugs, but decides to let Kame deny it. “Okay, whatever you say. But Ueda isn’t gay either.”
“I’m not gay,” Kame repeats again, albeit roughly this time.
“Alright, alright. But then, why do you like Ueda?”
Kame is silent for awhile. He thinks of Ueda. Ueda and his delicious lips, Ueda and his dark depthless eyes. Ueda that tastes so fucking delicious.
“It’s just Ueda,” Kame says, shrugging. “It’s just Ueda I want. Not anyone else, and not any other guys. It’s just… Ueda.”
Koki watches Kame pitifully. “I can’t tell you how to feel, Kame,” he says quietly. “All I can say is that I hope you know what you’re doing. And for your sake, I hope you are strong enough to cary the hurt that comes with loving someone such as Ueda.”
Phase 5: Satan
The hospital is in terrible condition when they finally arrive. It was a fairly easy building to find because it towered over the small structures around it, looming like an ominous grey monster of some kind.
“This is where you worked at?” Ueda asks, twirling his butterfly knife between his fingers. “You sad, sad, old man.”
“Shut up, Ueda,” Nakamaru says warily before addressing the group as a whole. “I’m not one of the people who handled the files, so I’m not exactly sure where they are kept. But it’s somewhere in the Quarantine Wing.” Nakamaru gestures at the gloomiest part of the hospital, which is a separate building away from the main area, set at the back of the compound and hidden in shadow.
“Where’s the entrance?” asks Koki, and Nakamaru points toward a glass door that is chained shut.
“That’s the entrance we’ll have to use, because I don’t think the retinal scans in the other entrances work anymore. This was one of the first hospitals the power was cut off from,” Nakamaru suddenly looks grim. “I think they wanted to cut off all life support on the infected. That’s why.”
“So they shut off all power and just left them to rot. Just like that?” Koki growls. “Sick bastards.”
“There was nothing they could do anyway,” Ueda suddenly says. “I think they had it lucky. To live in that condition must be fucking torture. I think those poor bastards in there were done a favour.”
Koki rounds on Ueda immediately. “That doesn’t give the government the right to be God!”
“So you think it’s more merciful to let people lie there and suffer for months on end?” Ueda bites back, his tone cool.
“And you’re saying that it’s right to choose whether people get to live or die? You fucking-”
“Stop it!” Taguchi snaps, and steps between the two men, who are ridiculously close to flying at each other like a pair of rabid dogs. “This isn’t the time to be arguing like brats. Kame, you deal with Ueda here. Let’s go, Koki.”
Kame approaches Ueda, who spits on the ground and stalks off heatedly. Kame sighs. Perhaps he isn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable after that shower incident. Taguchi handles everything along with level headed Nakamaru, and Kame thinks that he may just kiss Taguchi for being his wise-man self at the moment. Taguchi is his best friend for a reason.
///
The chains around the door handles don’t come off easily, Koki and Ueda has to smash the glass and the five of them squeeze through the jagged hole, avoiding the broken edges. Kame is the last to enter, and he nearly trips, but the hand on his arm is strong and sure. Kame knows who it is, but he doesn’t look up, but mutters a quiet thanks. He isn’t going to look weak in front of Ueda. Not now, Not ever.
The corridors are dank and the stink of infected flesh and rotting corpses invade Kame’s personal space as the group ventures deeper into the building.
“Do not touch anything, and keep your masks on,” Nakamaru says as he checks the surroundings, passing room door after room door.
“This is weird…” He says, and stops walking, scanning his surroundings. “There should be a ward somewhere here that-”
“That what?” Koki prompts, shivering. “Hurry up already, Nakamaru. This place gives me the creeps. How the hell do you work in a hole like this?”
“Shut up for awhile,” Nakamaru snaps, and his brows furrow deep. “There should be a ward around here where the those with primary signs of infection were housed. That door should be locked… Oh fuck.”
Kame blinks. This is the first time he’s heard Nakamaru curse.
He is staring wide eyed at a door that has been ripped off it’s hinges, the room inside is empty. The beds are stained in dried blood and the stench that oozes out of the room is wet and sticky.
“What is it?”
“This door should not to be open.” Nakamaru whispers, his voice strained. “Everyone in there should have been in a vegetative state. Why-”
“Leave it,” Ueda says dismissively. “Just focus on finding what we came for.”
“You don’t understand,” Nakamaru whispers. “If they are not in there, that means that-”
“Shush!” Kame says sharply. His eyes dart around the corridor. In the dead silence, there is a soft sound, like the sound of feet dragging slowly, slowly across the dust-covered floor. Kame swallows, and unintentionally, his eyes dart to Ueda’s. “Do you…”
“Someone’s here,” Ueda says quietly, and Kame’s eyes catch the sharp gleam of the blade of his butterfly knife. “I think we should split up,” he says finally. “Moving in a big group like this, we are too loud. Whatever’s in here might hear us.”
Koki’s eyes narrow. “Wait a second here,” he says, scanning Ueda’s impassive expression. “What do you think you are doing?”
Kame sees Ueda’s jaw tighten, and he sneers in Koki’s face. “I’m trying to survive, you oaf. There is this thing called common sense that apparently you don’t have.” Ueda shift over and grips Kame’s upper arm. “I’m taking Kamenashi,” Ueda declares, ignoring Kame’s annoyed yelp of protest.
“Oh no you don’t,” Koki growls. He reaches out to tug Kame back. “I know what you are doing to him, you heartless bastard.” he hisses. “I can’t leave Kame alone with you without you fucking with his mind.”
The knowing look Koki shoots him along with the accusing tone makes a shadow shutter over Ueda’s expression, and his eyes dart toward Kame, who shivers at the dark look. It’s all accusing and disappointment in them that makes something swell and stick inside his throat. He looks away.
“People, seriously, stop this,” Nakamaru interrupts, prying Kame’s wrist out of Koki’s and Ueda’s hands. “Ueda is right. Moving around in a group is not safe. We should split. I’ll go with Koki, because if I leave Ueda and him together, I doubt we will find the blueprints before you both rip each other’s throat out.”
“I’ll go with Nakamaru.” Taguchi says. “He might need a little help with Koki.”
“Stop treating me like a psycho on the loose,” Koki hisses. “And if anything, we should keep Kame as far from Ueda as possible. It’s not safe for him to be anywhere near him.”
Ueda’s eyes become like cold hard diamonds. “Fuck you.”
“That’s what you do, whore,” Koki bites back.
“Enough!” Nakamaru snaps. He runs his hand through his cropped hair. “All right, here’s the plan,” he says, trying to get his bearing straight. “I think that Koki should really come with Taguchi and me.” His eyes turn up to look at Kame, and then at Ueda. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but do you think you are okay alone together?”
Ueda shrugs. “I’m fine.” he turns to look at Kame. “You okay with this?”
Kame swallows and nods his head slowly. “I-I’m good.”
Nakamaru doesn’t look convinced. “Alright then. We’ll meet back here before dusk, regardless of whether we do find the blueprints or not.”
Koki is reluctant to leave. “But-! Nakamaru, you don’t understand, that bastard is-”
But Nakamaru smacks him on the head sharply. “Leave them to their own problems, Koki. You worry so much about Kame; I’m starting to think you have a crush on him.”
“I DO NOT,” Koki bites back, and it is in this fashion that Nakamaru and Taguchi lead him away, leaving Kame alone with Ueda.
“C’mon,” Ueda says, and his voice is frosty. “We’ll check this side.”
Kame hesitates. Ueda’s sudden shift in mood isn’t really helping the jittery situation at hand either. The way the dark look had slithered over Ueda features earlier made something acidic slide into Kame’s gut, and he can feel it sizzling the lining of his stomach. He wants to punch Koki and his big mouth. Why on Earth did he choose to unload on the volatile idiot?
They search the rooms along the west corridor individually. They are mostly empty, with grimy beds and soiled sheets. So far they have not encountered anything strange yet.
“Shit,” Ueda hisses, as he runs a hand through his hair roughly. “This is taking to long.”
Kame stands a little way behind him. Uncertain, and rather worried. He jumps in fright when Ueda kicks a random gurney in frustration. The steel object rolls away and slams into a wall with a resounding crash. Kame flinches when Ueda lets out a growl.
“Are you okay?” Kame asks, and he’s surprised he can speak, but his voice is rough and grainy.
Ueda scoffs, and the sneer he shoots at Kame is all derision and spite. “Oh, I’m just peachy,” he spits. “Just fucking fine. What do you think, idiot?”
Kame doesn’t answer, and Ueda stares at him scornfully, before turning away to kick open another random door and disappearing inside. Kame doesn’t know whether to follow. Then he hears a triumphant laugh, followed by an ecstatic ‘Jackpot’ that makes his brows shoot up. Scampering in hurriedly, he catches sight of Ueda, riffling through sheafs of papers and files strewn messily across a wooden desk. Kame steps past the threshold and closes the door.
They are in some kind of office, and there are cabinets and shelves as well as boxes and boxes of files stacked on top of one another and chucked haphazardly in corners. “This place is a mess,” Kame says, and moves across the room to a cabinet and pulls it open. The wealth of papers greet him and he begins to rifle through them.
It’s all silence, and Kame is happy to keep it that way. But with Ueda, nothing is ever simple, because something warm presses itself up against Kame’s back, and he inhales sharply, papers falling from his slack fingers. Kame swallows, and he winces when Ueda’s head drops softly to his shoulder.
“Did I do something?” Ueda whispers, and his voice is strangely soft and insecure when he says this. Kame gulps. “Did I do something you hate?”
“No,” Kame replies, quietly. “No, you didn’t.”
“Are you afraid of me?” Ueda asks, and he presses closer to Kame, breath puffing into the shell of his ear.
“No,” Kame says, breathless.
“Why did you go to Koki?” Ueda asks carefully. “Why didn’t you just fucking tell me if you had a problem. Why run to someone else? If you told me, I’d have backed off, you fool. Do you take me for an idiot?”
For some reason, Kame sees red at this, and he flings Ueda off before rounding on him, eyes blazing. “‘Back off’? Back off?” he snarls and shoves at Ueda’s chest roughly. “That’s basically what you’ve been doing all this time, you fucker.”
Ueda blinks. He looks so terribly confused that Kame wants to rip his hair out. “What am I to you, Ueda?” he says tightly, trying to ignore the pounding blood in his ears. “Am I just some kind of fuck-buddy to you? Are you just playing with me? Do you enjoy it or something?”
“Kamenashi, what are you going on about?” Ueda asks slowly, his expression is one of confusion.
“Oh, will you stop acting so clueless!” Kame yells, and it reverberates throughout the empty room.
Ueda just stands there, dumbstruck and Kame hates it. He hates it how Ueda doesn’t get what he’s trying to say.
“Just what am I to you, Ueda?” he asks quietly, and the sharp contrast his subdued tone has to his shout earlier makes Ueda frown. “Please. I have to know. You just- You can’t just do this to me and walk away like nothing’s wrong. Or is it because you think of me as nothing but a toy?” Kame releases a breathless sigh that ends in a shudder, and presses his face into his hands. “I let you do all those things to me. I actually let you fuck me. God, I can’t believe I was so stupid.” He drops down to a squatting position, and breathes heavily.
Kame doesn’t want to look at Ueda, because he’s sure Ueda will most likely be laughing at his face now. Because he’s gotten everything he can out of Kame. There’s nothing else to take, and now he’s just going to spit in his face.
There is a quiet shuffle, and Kame can smell Ueda - it’s a mixture of sweat, and heat, and musk - he opens his eyes, and the man is kneeling before him, reaching a hand out and brushing sweaty bangs from his face. Ueda pulls down his own mask, and he does the same for Kame. He leans in.
And Kame’s hand shoots out clamping it down on Ueda’s mouth. His eyes cold. “Don’t you dare,” he hisses. “Not after what you did.”
Ueda pulls away Kame’s hand by the wrist. “Kamenashi- no, Kame. Please. Just listen, okay?”
“‘Listen’? Sure,” Kame says, sarcasm lancing his tone. “But that doesn’t involve you getting your tongue down my throat.”
Ueda sighs, and rubs his eyes. “Yeah,” he grunts. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Okay, uh…”
Kame frowns. “What?”
“Dammit Kame, shut up and let me say what I’m trying to say!”
Ueda takes a few deep breaths before speaking again, and when he does, he sounds tired. “Look, I’m not good at this,” he swallows. “In fact, I think I am completely new to all of…this.” He gestures at Kame and himself. “I- You aren’t like the others, all right? I see you differently. I don’t consider you a quick fuck or anything.”
Kame blinks, but he’s unconvinced, because with Ueda, everything is uncertain. “Do you realise what you are saying?”
Ueda sighs. “Jesus, Kame. I feel like I’m going in fucking circles here. There’s just NO end to this is there,” Ueda groans. “Get up. Just- get up first.”
He grips Kame by the shoulders and hoists him up on wobbly legs. “Look,” he says. “I know that me saying what I’m saying now isn’t going to do much, but I honestly don’t care. But I ‘m just going to get this off my chest here, okay? I didn’t mean to be a dick, alright? I’m just not used to this.”
Kame blinks once, twice, and he is still slightly wary. “So,” he begins, tone unsure. “Is this your kind of apology of some sort?”
Ueda shrugs. “Call it what you will,” he says vaguely, but then his gaze hardens. “But just understand that you aren’t, aren’t something that I don’t care about.”
The silence that settles in is awkward, and Kame doesn’t know how to respond, so he turns away and stumbles towards the cluttered desk. “We should- uh, continue to look for the blueprints,” he says quietly.
Kame’s hands are jittery as he shuffles through the paper, barely registering a single word written on the leaflets. He can’t handle it if Ueda does this. He hates it when Ueda does shit like this, and he just wants to leave trivial things like this for later. Yes. Later, when they don’t have the threat of being potentially poisoned to death by the government hovering over their heads.
But it seems that Ueda isn’t going to let things slide that easy. Not now, because Kame finds himself trapped against the wood desk by a pair of arms, and he stiffens almost immediately.
“We aren’t done,” Ueda growls low, and he roughly spins Kame around, and hooks his arms under Kame’s thighs, before hoisting the younger man up onto the desk, sending stacks of papers spilling and scattering to the floor in messy piles. Kame yelps at the sudden movement, and he unintentionally grips at Ueda’s shoulders to steady himself.
Ueda presses in close so that he’s between Kame’s legs, completely boxing him in. Kame stares down into Ueda’s dark, dilated eyes that appear to glow in the dark office. “Why did you run to Koki?” Ueda demands, leaning in.
Kame turns away. “I didn’t run to him. I just… told him a few things.”
“What things?”
“None of your concern.”
“The bloody hell it isn’t!”
And Ueda’s arms twine around Kame’s body, tightly and sharply. Kame gasps, and keeps him palms pressed against Ueda’s shoulders, which is the only brace that keeps him from melding into Ueda’s aggressive embrace. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Kame hisses, and tries to push out. “Stop this. Stop this right-”
“No,” Ueda says firmly. “I’m not letting you go, you slippery bastard. Because it’s like whenever I do, you go running amok and getting weird ideas about me. After everything, after all that I did, you still think I am nothing but a whore, don’t you?”
Kame freezes up. He looks horrified, and his tongue is suddenly dry, sticking to the roof of his mouth. “I never…” he begins uncertainly, but then Kame shuts up, because Ueda is right. Even after all this time, Kame can’t help but doubt Ueda, despite how unusually caring and gentle he treats him.
Kame thinks that he has managed to understand that Ueda shows how he cares in strange ways. In fact, he shows his love in even stranger ways.
“Perhaps part of it is my fault,” Ueda says quietly. “I shouldn’t have just left you like that after sex. It wasn’t right of me.” His gaze turns gentle and he nuzzles his face into the crook of Kame’s neck. “Frankly, I just didn’t know how to deal with this whole ‘like’ and ‘love’ business. I’ve never really had these kind of feelings before. For me, sex has always been like a business transaction. It was easy. Hell, it’s supposed to be easy. There were rules in black and white that I had follow, and it just made the whole deal bearable.”
Kame can’t help but feel a sharp pang of sympathy for Ueda. Whatever his life had been before this, has really messed his brain up, and the understanding he has on relationships and feelings were as bad as that of an underdeveloped teenager, but also hideously deformed - and all Ueda seems to believe that everything can be solved through sex, which is just wrong in so many directions.
Despite being strong and dependable, Ueda is kinda broken, Kame thinks. He finds it weird how Ueda shifts from dominating, to cowering, to playful, to pained, to smiling, then to frowning, so easily, that he really doesn’t know which part to believe.
But right now, Kame just feels sorry for him, and he just can’t bring himself to be angry at Ueda like this, so sighing heavily, Kame twines his arms around Ueda’s neck and presses up close to Ueda. The latter stiffens immediately, and he doesn’t know what to do. Kame can tell that he isn’t sure what’s going on when Ueda awkwardly holds him close as well. His actions are clumsy and unsure as well as hesitant.
“I don’t know what to do now, frankly,” Ueda mumbles into Kame’s neck. “What does this mean, really? Are you still mad at me or are you forgiving me, or what?”
Kame sighs. He runs a hand through Ueda’s hair. “It’s called acceptance,” he says softy. “So just shut up and accept it.”
They stay just hugging on the desk for a few moments. Kame can’t help but think that this is kinda sweet when-
“Ueda?”
“Hm?”
“Get your hands off my belt buckle.”
“Come on, not even a little?”
“This is a hospital filled with infected dead people.” Kame says flatly
“Please?”
“NO.”
“I could just do you on this table. We’ll be quick.”
“Unbelievable. We’ve just had this one big conversation about your dysfunctional understanding of relationships, and it’s like the only thing you ever think about is sex,” Kame growls and pushes away.
“But…” Ueda begins, his voice dropping to low staccatos that sends shiver up and down Kame’s spine. “I just really, really want you,” he rasps. “It’s been days since that shower incident, and I just can’t-” Ueda swallows thickly, and he tightens his hold around Kame’s waist. You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck you senseless again after all that. I really… really, really want you. I don’t want anyone else”
Kame’s breath gets caught in his throat, and please, can Ueda just like, stop looking at him so intensely with those depthless black eyes of his?
Ueda just smiles at him. “I’m guessing that this feeling means that I love you, I guess.”
///
Kame can feel his restraint crumbling. He’s honestly missed Ueda, and he isn’t sure how long he can keep up this brave act, when he catches sight of a flat oblong box that lies half open on the floor, probably one of the things that was swept off the table when Ueda hoisted him up on it.
“Hey, Ueda - stop trying to undo my belt or you’re getting nothing after this - can you check that box over there?”
Ueda pulls away from Kame reluctantly and his eyes fall upon the suspicious looking box. He stalks toward it and kicks the lid open. “Looks like floor plans of the hospital,”he says, and squats down to rifle through the large flimsy sheets of paper. “It all plans of the hospitals that were part research centres,” Ueda says grimly.
Kame walks over to join him. “How can you tell?”
“Because that’s what’s written all over these things. Look.” Ueda points at large red letters stamped at every right hand corner of the plans that read ‘Hospital/RC’ followed by a serial number. “Looks like they built in separate wings for those infected with the Red Plague,” he mutters.
“These are really something,” Kame says, but they aren’t what we need.” He lifts up several sheets at once, flipping through them until he sees a flash of blue. “Wait, I think- yep,” he breathes, and pulls out a large sheet of blue paper with thin white lines depicting a large dome-like building and sprawling tunnels and passageways running like some freaky underground maze beneath it.
“Fuck yes,” Ueda breathes.
“Stop swearing for a minute. It’s getting really annoying, and I’m starting feel the need to wash out your tongue with soap,” Kame snaps, and he proceeds to roll the large blue sheet of paper into a tube. “Okay, done,” he says. “C’mon. Let’s head back.”
Ueda happily obliged.
The sun has sunken low by the time they make it back to the designated meeting spot. Nakamaru and the others were not yet back. As usual, Ueda’s fingers start to toy with his butterfly knife, and Kame just hovers next to the deserted nurses station, eyes fixed on Ueda’s graceful fingers as they twirl the blade this way and that.
When Nakamaru fails to show up after 20 minutes, Kame begins to get restless, and he’s not shuffling through papers littering the space between the computers at the nurses station. It’s mostly patient’s records and boring files and crap, but then he catches sight of an envelope with a government stamp on the front.
Picking it up, he notes that it’s addressed to some ‘Dr Furukawa Hanzo’. Kame slits the letter open and unfolds crisp paper. The title at the very top of the letter makes his heart stop.
‘Cyanide Fumigation’
The letter is short and concise, with a single paragraph.
To Dr Furukawa,
We have confirmed the use of cyanide to be the final resort to culling the source of this plague - the infected citizens. America has authorised the use of missiles, and the plan to turning New York into ground zero should be finalised in several days. However, Dr, I don’t want to turn my hometown into a cesspool of blood and gore. Better clean death than dying without leaving a body to be buried.
Yours,
S.S. Suzuki.
Kame is just about to open his mouth to call out to Ueda, when he feels it. It’s wet and mushy and the familiar stink that rushes around him, choking and wet is stronger than ever. Kame’s breath hitches as he turns his head slowly to his left, and there, clinging to his leg, is a person - or what used to be one. From what he can tell, it’s a woman, from her long, limp, straggly balck hair that sticks to her face, which has rotted off to the point where she no longer has eyelids or lips, or a visible nose for that matter.
Kame can’t move. He can’t speak, and his whimpers and barely audible, because IT’S TOUCHING HIM. JESUS CHRIST. THE THING IS TOUCHING HIM.
She’s sprawled on her stomach, and judging from the trail of blood behind her, she had crawled her way over. Kame’s stomach churns and he gags at the sight of the feet-less legs and the chunks of flesh that are missing from her legs and naked torso.
She opens her mouth to try to speak, and her jaw falls open like some fucked up nutcracker, moving grotesquely in a way that reminds him of a cow chewing. Instead of words, all that comes out of her lipless mouth was a kind of ‘gaaah’ sound.
Kame screams.
“Fuck! What the hell, Kame-” Ueda yells, and rushes over, and his sentence tapers off when he sees the thing latched to Kame’s leg. “Holy- Let him go!”
Ueda is about to rush forwards, blade drawn, ready to slice the woman’s arm off, when she lurches forwards, and all Kame registers is a splitting pain along his calf, as she sinks her jagged teeth into soft flesh.
Kame barely registers shouts and more people arriving because it hurts, and all he can see is the horrific image of the half-rotten woman’s teeth digging into his flesh, drawing blood, and Kame suddenly realises then and there that he’s finished, and for some reason, it comes to him as more of an understanding than a shock.
He supposes that he blacked out for awhile there, because he can feel someone holding onto him tenderly, lifting him up easily and tucking his head securely under that person’s chin. He’s barely conscious, and his head feels like it’s being split open, but he can hear people shouting, arguing.
The last thing he hears before sinking into blessed oblivion is Ueda’s almost rabid snarl of
‘-I’m NOT leaving him here, you fucking understand me, you fucker? I’m saving him.”
Kame smiles.
///
When he’s more lucid, he can feel soft sheets beneath him. But he can’t see and he can’t breathe. His entire body aches, and his spitting headache earlier has turned into a full blown migraine. His insides feel cold and hot at the same time, but his skin feels like it’s on fire, and it just pain, pain, pain.
Kame remembers screaming when someone touches him, because it fucking hurts, and he just wants whoever it is that’s touching him to stop.
“- Kame, calm down. I’m- I’m just going to take a sample of blood, okay? I need to know how far on you are.”
The voice is familiar, and so much like his dad’s. Kame peels open his eyelids that feel like lead blocks, and he comes face to face with a man in a surgical mask. He has horn-rimmed glasses, and short cropped hair. Who is he again? Ah yes, Nakamura… Nakamaru… something.
The person touches him and it feels like a thousand needles stabbing at his skin. Kame thinks that he might have screamed, because underneath all the ringing, he can hear a pained voice shout.
“-Jesus Christ, Nakamaru, what the fuck are you doing to him?”
Kame falls asleep finally, or perhaps he just passed out again. Kame isn’t too sure.
///
When Kame wakes up again, it’s all dark, and he wonders why. Ah, his eyes are still closed, that’s why. It’s too much torture to open them at all, and his entire body is shaking horribly. Why is it so cold?
“- Ueda, Ueda!”
Kame hears a crash.
“- No, NO. Don’t you fucking tell me to chill. Don’t you fucking dare, Nakamaru. I will cut you face off. Don’t-”
He wants to call out, but he can’t. Why is it getting so cold?
///
“- Its’ been days. We should start thinking about a way to get into the sanctuary.”
“- Ueda! What the fuck are you- Hey! stop it!”
Kame hears a scuffle, followed by the sound of flesh hitting the ground.
“What the hell’s your deal, you psycho?”
“- Kame is the one who got those blueprints, you ungrateful prick. He’s in there dying, and all you think about is saving your own hide!”
///
“Nakamaru, what are you doing with that?”
“I’m waiting for Kame’s results. It should be clear in a few more hours. I’ll be able to tell how badly the disease has eaten at his body in these few days.”
///
Today, Kame feels better.
Heaps better.
He still feels feverish, but the pain is gone, leaving behind a dull throb that aches from time to time.
“Wha-”
He can hear voices better now.
“Is there something wrong? Isn’t that Kame’s test?”
“Y-Yeah, but-”
“But what?”
“K-Kame- He’s fine.”
Silence.
“Don’t bullshit with me, Maru,” Kame recognises that voice. It’s Taguchi. He can’t believe Taguchi swore. It is just something that is impossible.
“You do know Koki and I have to actually watch Ueda 24/7 because he’s almost suicidal, right? If he hears you say that…”
“B-But… It’s true! Look, all signs of infection, disease, all gone! I thought it was weird that Kame never developed any lesions in the first few hours. I just assumed that the plague was working slower in his case. But this- this is amazing! Quick, pass me that pack.”
Kame hears a rustling noise.
“What is this?” Taguchi asks, and Kame can picture his worried face. It rips at his guts.
“It’s another test. It’s to test for immunity,” Nakamaru says, his voice is high and jittery. “This was developed earlier, but after thousands of tests, no one showed any signs of immunity, so we just stopped testing. I took this from the hospital on a hunch. Let’s just see-”
Kame feels someone lift his wrist, and the coolness of a needle is touched to his skin. He winces slightly, but he doesn’t move.
It’s silence for awhile, except for the rustling of Nakamaru’s clothes, and quiet breathing.
….
….
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Nakamaru whispers.
“What? What is it?”
“What the hell do you think?” Kame’s heart clenches at the euphoria in Nakamaru’s voice.
“Kame is an immune.”
///
It’s not a big party with hugs and kisses when Kame finally opens his eyes and manages to sit up, because when he does, it’s night. His room is quiet, and Kame has trouble adjusting to his vision, which is slightly blurry from non-use. His muscles are stiff, but otherwise, he feels okay.
Scanning his surroundings, Kame tries to get to his feet quietly, because he can see Nakamaru sprawled on the floor next to his bed, obviously monitoring him. Taguchi and Koki are also in here for some reason, and Kame’s heart swells and how much his strange ‘friends’ are worried for him. Ueda is nowhere to be seen though.
Kame knows he shouldn’t be getting up, because he is still dizzy, and a tad feverish. But if there is one thing he needs more than sleep right now, is a bath. He looks down and shudders at the sight of the red bite marks that are now scabbing at this ankle. Even though he isn’t sick, recalling the feeling when that infected woman had bit down, teeth digging into flesh and tearing his skin open isn’t ideal.
Kame half stumbles to the bathroom, and strips out of his clothes. It’s dusty and grain with dried sweat and dirt, but that makes sense since no one would have dared touch him after he had been bitten. Kame shrugs and steps into the showers stall, twisting the water onto full blast. For some reason, he keeps his eyes on the door, because just in case Ueda busts in like some cliche drama movie where one character suddenly survives death, and his/her partner gets this stupid epiphany that he/she loves him/her, and then the confession scene, where they kiss and make up and everything goes back to normal.
Kame laughs quietly at this. How stupid. The strange thing is though, Kame had his confession before he had his little near death experience, and he supposes that in some way, this sorta breaks the chain of clicheness that seems to stick to him.
Kame just finishes his bath and wraps a towel over himself, when the door opens.
It isn’t thrown open, or flung open, but it opens slowly, and there is Ueda. He looks fine. In fact, he doesn’t even look like a person close to suicidal.
“Why do we always do this kind of crap in the bathroom?” he asks into the silence, fingers twisting into his towel to hold it up.
Ueda doesn’t answer, he just stares. “Because we are lame like that,” he finally rasps, eyes drinking in the sight of Kame hungrily. “Kame,” he swallows, and releases a shuddering breath. “Kame, I-”
“Shut up and come here, you idiot,” Kame says finally, to save Ueda whatever pride he has left.
And just like that, Ueda has him pinned to the wall of the shower stall, forehead against forehead, but lips nowhere close to touching. “May I?” Ueda asks quietly, and Kame smacks him sharply round the underside of his head.
“Do you still need to ask?” he snaps, and in one swift motion grabs Ueda’s face and melds their lips together. The kiss is all tongue and hot and messy, and Kame’s towel is slipping lower and lower, until it rides precariously low on his hips.
“Fuck,” Ueda whispers, when he releases Kame’s lips. “I really- I fucking love you,” Ueda hisses, “I don’t know why, I just do.”
Kame smiles into Ueda’s lips. “I know,” he replies, but still, the insecurity is there, because with Ueda, everything is uncertain.
“You know I’m bad at this, right?”
Kame giggles softly. “I know,” he says. “And I also know that you aren’t gay.”
Ueda blinks, and he’s about to ask what the hell is Kame blabbering on about now, when Kame smiles a strangely serene smile before he grabs Ueda’s hand and presses it to his crotch, cupping the bulge underneath the flimsy towel. Ueda’s eyes go wide.
“I'm not what you want. I can never be what you want,” Kame says slowly.
He’s quiet for a moment, but then Ueda’s brows furrow deep, and he snarls at a surprised kame. “Shut up,” he whispers, and leans in to kiss him slow and sweet and deep, and he doesn’t remove him hand from Kame’s crotch at all. Instead, he squeezes the soft flesh and relishes when Kame whimpers softly. He presses his face to the shell of Kame’s ear and nibbles at the lobe reassuringly.
"I don't care,” he says, tone set and certain. “I just want you.”
<- part 3 II -> part 5
From: yumemirunosekai
Title: Post Tenebras, Lux (Part 4)
Pairings/Characters: Kamenashi Kazuya/Ueda Tatsuya (main), Taguchi Junnosuke, Tanaka Koki, Toda Erika (side)
Rating: NC 17+
Warnings: blood, violence, gore, angst, AU, sci-fi
Notes: My first attempt at an AU/sci-fi fic. This a KAT-TUN gen fic with a side of KameDa. The personality I chose for Kame is Shuuji's real personality (the one that surfaces when he's with Akira, all prickly and whatnot) I have to emphasise that I tried to make this fic as close to reality as possible, in favour of my recipient, so expect less fluff and more… well. Reality.
Summary: Post Tenebras, Lux. ‘From Darkness, Light.’ The Red Plague has wiped out almost half the world’s population. Kame is a typical high school student who wants the easy way out of things, choosing to live in his own little world and ignore reality. When the lockdown sequence begins, he is thrown into another world where humans are animals, and killing seems to become a second nature. This is not a story of adventure, but reality.
part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5
///
As usual, when Kame returns to the brothel, he doesn’t do anything else, but makes a beeline for the showers located at the very back of the building. He ignores Koki’s annoyed yell of ‘Hey! Get back here and help me with this stuff!’ and just half runs to his destination.
Christ, he smelled. He stank of sweat, grime and infected people. Their stink seems to saturate the air outside, seeping into his clothes and under his skin and-
Kame whimpers. He throws open the door and slams it shut behind him. There is no lock, but Kame hardly cares. He has to get it off him, the smell. He strips down and just leaves his clothes in a messy pile on the tiled floor before slipping into the shower booth. It smells of mildew and muck, but Kame is willing to do anything just to get the stink off his skin.
He turns the water on to full blast and grabs the bar of soap in the corner as well as a scrubber that he usually uses. He lathers the soap and drags it across his thin body, before using the scrubber and scraping roughly at his skin.
Why? Why does he still smell it? It’s never like this normally. The smell has never stuck this long before. Kame scrubs harder and he barely feels the pain as the rough scrubber scratches raw skin. Kame’s breaths come out in short pants as he just washes himself, scrubbing and scrubbing. He’s panicking now, because he can still smell it. A whimper that echoes around the bathroom is drowned out by a following cry and Kame almost scratches his skin off.
Oh god. It isn’t coming off- It isn’t- It isn’t coming-
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Kame barely hears it, and he would have continued scrubbing himself raw, if it wasn’t for the hand that closes tightly around his wrist. He finally lifts his eyes up and sees Ueda from beneath his dripping bangs. The older man is staring at him, brows furrowed and jaw set. He looks furious, and is still dressed in a sleeves tank and track pants, so he was probably taking a nap earlier.
Kame blinks.
“I-” he pants, eyes darting around the room. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he snaps feebly. “I’m taking a friggin’ bath, and you’re interrupting.”
Kame tries to tug his hand away. He has to continue washing himself. The smell is still there-
“No, you aren’t,” Ueda growls lowly. “You’re skinning yourself alive.” He yanks at Kame’s wrist, showing him the red skin where pinpricks of blood are visible. “Stop it, and get the hell out of here. You’ve showered long enough.”
“Let me go Ueda,” Kame hisses and tugs roughly at his wrist. “I’m not done.”
Can’t Ueda smell it? The stink on his skin?
“Bullshit,” Ueda spits. “You’re getting out right-”
“NO,” Kame wails, and his voice cracks. Ueda’s eyes snap towards his own in shock, and Kame’s breath hitches uncontrollably. He manages to tug his wrist out of Ueda’s hand, and this sends him sprawling backwards toward the wall opposite in the small shower booth on unsteady knees. Once away from Ueda, he takes his scrubber and scrapes at this skin again.
“I have to get it off me- Ueda- I can’t- I can’t- I FUCKING HATE THE SMELL,” Kame says brokenly and shudders. Ueda will never understand. Kame just can’t take this anymore. “I stink,” Kame continues. “I stink all right? And I hate it. I have to get it off me. I have to.”
It’s silence for a long time, and Ueda just watches Kame, who continues to wash himself, his breath coming out in shuddering pants. It’s a long time and Kame doesn’t look up, but Ueda’s shadow looms closer, and suddenly the man in in front of him, eyes dark and dilated as he stands under the shower, clothes and all, before closing the booth door with a quiet click.
Ueda’s gaze is so intense that Kame can feel his knees knock together unsteadily. With strong hands, Ueda snatches Kame’s wrists and removes the sharp scrubber he used to mutilate himself with and chucked it to one side, before allowing his eyes to follow the long, thin bloody lines that trail around Kame’s naked arms and torso.
The water beats down on Ueda’s hair, and it falls wetly into his eyes, and Kame can’t help but be distracted by Ueda’s curling lashes. He’s really is pretty for a guy.
“Look, you’ve been hurting yourself,” Ueda says quietly, and he lets his fingers brush lightly over Kame’s raw skin. “Don’t do it.”
Ueda then proceeds to kiss every single surface of scratched skin, his lips leaving burning trails in it’s wake. Kame’s breath hitches as Ueda glides his tongue over his forearm. “Stop it,” Kame whispers, and tries to pull away, only now Ueda doesn’t let him.
“Why? Am I hurting you?”
“No. It’s just that-”
Ueda looks at him expectantly.
“I smell, Ueda,” Kame says finally, and he blinks the tears - or water, he can’t be sure - from his eyes, and glares at a spot behind Ueda’s head. “I can’t- I can’t get the stink off me. I smell like those rotting people out there, Ueda. I just can’t deal with it.”
Ueda doesn’t respond, but his takes Kame’s face between his hands, and leans in with a soft, ‘May I?’ before kissing him slowly, and deeply, until Kame sees white behind his eyelids, and a fire begins to burn in the stomach, just above his groin.
When he pulls away, he keeps his forehead pressed against Kame’s, breath fanning the space between them. Kame is left breathless, and all he can think about is that Ueda is seriously an amazing kisser.
“You don’t smell, you idiot,” Ueda says softly, secretly.
Kame swallows. “I do,” he whispers. “You’re lying.”
Ueda suddenly looks incredibly annoyed, and he pulls away to glare at Kame, before delving in to suck against the sweet column of his throat. Kame gasps, and he tries to push Ueda away. “Stop it, Ueda. I smell-”
“Shut up you little pessimist,” he snaps, drawing away before reaching down to grab Kame’s already half hard cock, making the latter inhale sharply and bite his lip to stop a moan from escaping. Ueda pumps it slowly, until Kame is panting harshly, breaths leaving his lips in shuddering bursts.
“What are you-?”
But Ueda kisses him again, and Kame whimpers into the kiss. It’s deep and hot, and all tongue, making Kame want to explode from sheer pleasure that shoots straight to his nether regions.
“Fuck,” Ueda moans into the kiss, “Fuck.” And he flips Kame around so that his chest is pressed up against the shower stall wall, palms flat against the tiles and naked butt facing Ueda. Ueda bites down on his collarbone, and Kame hears him stripping out of his soggy track pants and top, before feeling taut muscles pressed against his back, and Ueda’s own throbbing erection up against his tailbone.
Kame moans softly as Ueda trails kisses down his slender back, hands tight against his hips. “Huh,” he suddenly says, tone amused. Kame feels a slender finger trace a gentle line down his left butt cheek. He shudders, “You do have three moles down your butt cheek. And I thought your smiley friend was joking.”
“Fuck you,” Kame hisses, hating how Ueda has stopped his ministrations.
Then the finger moves in between his butt cheeks, and brushes against his entrance, and Kame moans loudly, making Ueda grin.
“I am about to,” Ueda whispers sensually, and slowly pushes a finger inside, making Kame whimper. “Want me to stop?”
When Ueda inserts another finger, and curls them tantalisingly inside him, Kame's knees buckle and he nearly crashes to the floor. Ueda’s arm around his waist the only brace keeping him standing. He shakes his head roughly, and he hears a soft laugh from Ueda. “You know that once I start, I can’t stop?”
Kame nods. He just wants Ueda to never stop whatever he’s doing with those amazing fingers.
“Really? You’re sure? You do know I’m a whore, right?” Ueda asks, and inserts yet another finger, stretching Kame further, tearing a pained groan from him that quickly shifts to pleasurable whimpers.
“Kamenashi, are you-”
“Shut the fuck up and just DO ME already,” Kame spits, and his growl ends in a whine when Ueda removes his fingers, before angling his erection at Kame’s hole.
“You really are just a kid,” Ueda chuckles, and slowly, bracing himself against Kame’s soft back, pushes in.
Kame hisses at the pain that shoots up his body like hot poker, thousands of fiery pins and needles sticking into the column of his spine, but Ueda doesn’t stop until he is completely buried to the hilt, letting out a low groan upon filling himself into that tight heat. Kame can literally feel Ueda inside him, and it hurts. God, it fucking hurts.
Ueda doesn’t move though, because he can feel Kame’s muscles seizing, and the smaller man taking in shuddering breaths, hands curled into fists against the wall in pain. Ueda has to do everything in his willpower to not move until Kame is comfortable. He leans forward and kisses Kame’s shoulder, hands tracing comforting circles along his waist. “Are you okay?” he asks, and Kame would have been surprised by the worry in his voice if he wasn’t hurting this much.
He wonders if Ueda will stop if he asks. It’s unlikely, since Kame can practically feel the tension in Ueda’s muscles as he restrains himself from going crazy. “U-Ueda,” Kame begins uncertainly. “I don’t-”
“If you want to stop, just tell me,” Ueda says gently before Kame finishes his sentence, slender fingers stroking Kame’s taut waist. He presses a kiss into Kame’s wet hair. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, all right?” he continues soothingly. “I wouldn’t hurt you.”
Kame blushes and swallows. “I-I’m fine,” he whispers tightly. “You c-can move if you want to.”
Ueda nuzzles Kame’s wet shoulder. “You sure?”
Kame bites his lip, nodding uncertainly. Ueda then grips his hips and starts to move with slow, controlled thrusts. But as soon as he does, a stab of pain shoots up Kame’s spine, and he yelps sharply, body seizing and muscles tightening immediately. He shakes his head hard. “Wait, wait- please,” he gasps.
Kame’s breath is ragged, and his body is trembling, afraid that Ueda will just continue, but Ueda doesn’t. He whispers the sweetest, most comforting words in to his ear as he massages Kame’s waist. “Relax,” he says softly. “It will hurt if you don’t.”
Kame gulps and nods, trying to loosen his muscles. “O-Okay,” he breathes, and braces himself. “Alright. I-I’m good.”
“Sure?”
Kame nods, and Ueda moves his hips once again, rolling them slightly and moving in a fluid, yet slow pace to avoid hurting Kame further. Gradually, the pain disappears and Kame now just wants more of the delicious sensation that Ueda is taking too long giving him, so with a low growl, he bucks backwards, and Ueda sucks in a sharp breath, while Kame moans when he feels the older man hit something inside that makes his toes curl.
It’s a frenzy next. And Kame isn’t surprised that Ueda favours rough sex to vanilla. And when Ueda reaches forwards to pump his throbbing erection, it’s seconds before Kame comes hard with a high scream, that is muffled by Ueda’s free hand that presses onto his mouth.
When Kame blinks away the stars behind his eyelids, Ueda is still thrusting hard into him, literally shoving him into the wall. It doesn’t feel that good now, and it stings sharply whoever Ueda moves, but Kame wants him to come too, so he just grits his teeth and waits while trying to get his bearings straight.
When Ueda comes, he does so with a guttural groan, and spills himself inside Kame, who makes a noise when he feels Ueda’s semen filling him. He would have crashed to the ground, boneless if Ueda’s arms weren't around his waist.
It’s all quiet for awhile, before Ueda slowly flips Kame over to kiss him deeply. “That was probably the best sex I’ve ever had,” he says, grinning. “You?”
“I can’t say,” Kame breathes. “I’ve never had sex before this.”
Ueda pulls away and stares at Kame in blatant shock. “Are you serious?” he asks, slack-jawed. “Are you saying that this is your first- That I, am your first?”
Kame looks away, and bites his lip. “So?”
Ueda just gapes at him in flat out disbelief. “I- It’s just- You gave a whore, -you barely know me- your first time.”
Kame doesn’t get it. He had wanted to do it with Ueda. Was it wrong? “Was I wrong?” he asks slowly.
“Wrong?” Ueda chokes. “What the- I just don’t- nevermind.”
Ueda’s face is contorted in a way that Kame can’t stand. He reaches forward and catches Ueda’s lips with his own, before realising that this is the first time he has initiated a kiss, and not Ueda.
“You are really weird,” Ueda whispers against Kame’s red lips. “But at least you don’t think you smell anymore.”
Kame snaps his head up and he is surprised. He completely forgot about that. Cautiously, he sniffs his skin, and smells the air around him, and blinks.
There is no smell. The stink, it is gone. Not even a whiff is left. All Kame can smell is the minty smell of Ueda, mildew, musk, and sex. It invades his personal space, and he can’t help but feel all fuzzy.
Everything, even he smells of Ueda.
It’s a smell that sticks.
///
Kame wakes up in his bed, and Ueda’s gone. They had gone through yet another round after the bath yesterday, and Ueda had been as gentle as ever. When Kame wakes up to see the empty space next to him, he wonders, if he really is just Ueda’s fuck buddy, as Koki so crudely puts it.
The thought stings though, and for Kame, there’s nothing he can do, because this is just out of his control.
///
Ueda doesn’t bring up the incident, and he acts normally. Too normal in fact, that it hurts Kame, but since Ueda is fine, he’s determined to be fine too.
These trivial thoughts are put out of his mind when Koki comes running back from ration hunting one day (he goes alone because Kame is just too sore to even stand, let alone walk), looking harassed and out of breath. His words send a chill right up Kame’s spine.
“They are going to fumigate the entire city.”
Kame’s heart sinks.
///
“This was never mentioned in any of the plans,” Nakamaru says, looking thoughtful. “I mean, initially they did discuss about a quick way to get rid of the plague, but-”
“Like it’s such a big surprise that the government don’t give a shit about the people out here. I can bet you that there is no cure. They never planned to find one,” Koki growls, and swipes several shot glasses off the bar in anger.
“How can we escape this?” Kame asks, and Ueda’s eyes immediately fixes on him as soon as he speaks. Kame ignores it.
Nakamaru looks as though he’s thinking deeply, brows furrowed. “I- I really don’t know…”
Taguchi is perhaps the only one who looks nonchalant. “Well, why don’t we just find a way into those sanctuaries?” Taguchi says a matter of factly. “That’s the only safe haven right? So all we have to do is get in them.”
Ueda snorts derisively. “And pray tell, how exactly do we do that?” he says mockingly. “Those things are so heavily fortified, it’s tighter than Kame’s asshole.”
Kame freezes up, and he wants to punch Ueda. How dare he do this- make fun of him in front of people? Did he think it was funny? Kame blinks away the sand that is making pinprick of tears gather at the corners of his eyes.
“Stop teasing Kame because he’s a virgin,” Taguchi says, annoyed (Kame chokes on his saliva at this). “Anyway, shouldn’t there be blueprints of the sanctuaries lying around somewhere? In all this turmoil, some must have been left lying around.”
“Taguchi,” Nakamaru suddenly says, eyes glowing. “You should seriously act as smart as you really are.”
“THERE ARE LOOSE BLUEPRINTS LYING AROUND?” Koki yelps, eyes wide. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier!?”
“Because it’s a slim chance, you dimwit. I wasn’t prepared to risk our lives for a slim chance,” Nakamaru snaps. “But the hospital that I worked at - it’s somewhere around this area - was one of the few hospitals chosen to store the sanctuary blueprints. We could start there.”
Kame looks doubtful. “Are you sure there will be blueprints there in the first place?” he asks.
Nakamaru shakes his head. “No. I can’t be sure. But we have to take the chance. If it weren’t for this fumigation business, I would not risk it. That hospital was also used to house those infected with the plague that are at the terminal stages. So the entire building is highly biohazardrous.”
“But it’s the best chance we got,” Taguchi says. “We have to try.”
Kame watches the entire group, each of them determined to live. To survive. His gaze darts over Ueda, who looks away. Kame feels a cold hand clench around his stomach and yank at his intestines. Ueda really was just fucking with his mind. Kame has lost everything he has - his morals, his pride - all to that angelic looking sin that tasted of caramel and dark chocolate.
Kame smiles sadly.
The worst thing is that he doesn’t regret it one bit.
///
Kame and Koki go out for the last supply run, and Koki notes how strangely silent Kame is.
“What wrong?” he asks, and Kame looks up surprised.
“What?”
“You don’t look good. Hell, you look like crap.” Koki says gruffly. “Are you sleeping okay?”
Kame hesitates. He’s ashamed. Not because of Ueda, but because he still wants Ueda, and can’t bring himself to hate him. Heck, Kame is this close to telling himself that he most likely loves the man.
“I slept with Ueda,” he says flatly, not bothering to beat around the bush at all.
Koki blinks, before tossing his head back and laughing loudly. The sound echoes all around and it bites at Kame’s ears. “Shut up,” he spits angrily.
“Sorry,” Koki gasps. “It’s just that I thought it was something else. You sleeping with Ueda isn’t really a surprise to me.”
“I think I love him,” Kame says finally, annoyed at Koki’s flippant attitude.
The speed that Koki stops laughing and instead, stares at him in disbelief, is amazing. Kame would have laughed at Koki’s expression if he didn’t feel like shit at the moment.
“Excuse me, but am I hearing right?” Koki says warily. “Did you just say you-”
“Yes.”
“And are you certain-”
“Yes.”
Koki just stands there and gapes like a fish. “Okay, so when did you get this epiphany? Because I think that you are shitting with me here.”
Kame scowls. “There is no ‘epiphany’,” he hisses. “There is no realisation and no rainbows and unicorns here. I just- I just want to be with him. That’s all.” It’s plain and simple, but Koki doesn’t seem to agree.
“No,” he says flatly.
Kame blinks at how quickly Koki responds.
“You cannot love Ueda, Kame, if you know what’s healthy for you. He’s charming, alluring, but don’t forget, he’s a whore. Those characteristics come gift wrapped in a pretty little package along with lies and deceit.”
Kame swallows. Koki just goes on with his roll.
“It’s his job to draw you in like that. Don’t get me wrong, I like Ueda, but like I said, I don’t trust him fully, especially with fragile things like this. Ueda has a sense of loyalty, that is clear, and he is a good person, to a point; but his morals are way fucked up and too overly twisted.”
Kame doesn’t want to believe it, but he knows. He knows that Koki is right.
“Besides, Ueda says he isn’t into guys.”
“I’m not either,” Kame says. “Honest. I really am not.” he repeats quietly.
Koki shrugs, but decides to let Kame deny it. “Okay, whatever you say. But Ueda isn’t gay either.”
“I’m not gay,” Kame repeats again, albeit roughly this time.
“Alright, alright. But then, why do you like Ueda?”
Kame is silent for awhile. He thinks of Ueda. Ueda and his delicious lips, Ueda and his dark depthless eyes. Ueda that tastes so fucking delicious.
“It’s just Ueda,” Kame says, shrugging. “It’s just Ueda I want. Not anyone else, and not any other guys. It’s just… Ueda.”
Koki watches Kame pitifully. “I can’t tell you how to feel, Kame,” he says quietly. “All I can say is that I hope you know what you’re doing. And for your sake, I hope you are strong enough to cary the hurt that comes with loving someone such as Ueda.”
Phase 5: Satan
The hospital is in terrible condition when they finally arrive. It was a fairly easy building to find because it towered over the small structures around it, looming like an ominous grey monster of some kind.
“This is where you worked at?” Ueda asks, twirling his butterfly knife between his fingers. “You sad, sad, old man.”
“Shut up, Ueda,” Nakamaru says warily before addressing the group as a whole. “I’m not one of the people who handled the files, so I’m not exactly sure where they are kept. But it’s somewhere in the Quarantine Wing.” Nakamaru gestures at the gloomiest part of the hospital, which is a separate building away from the main area, set at the back of the compound and hidden in shadow.
“Where’s the entrance?” asks Koki, and Nakamaru points toward a glass door that is chained shut.
“That’s the entrance we’ll have to use, because I don’t think the retinal scans in the other entrances work anymore. This was one of the first hospitals the power was cut off from,” Nakamaru suddenly looks grim. “I think they wanted to cut off all life support on the infected. That’s why.”
“So they shut off all power and just left them to rot. Just like that?” Koki growls. “Sick bastards.”
“There was nothing they could do anyway,” Ueda suddenly says. “I think they had it lucky. To live in that condition must be fucking torture. I think those poor bastards in there were done a favour.”
Koki rounds on Ueda immediately. “That doesn’t give the government the right to be God!”
“So you think it’s more merciful to let people lie there and suffer for months on end?” Ueda bites back, his tone cool.
“And you’re saying that it’s right to choose whether people get to live or die? You fucking-”
“Stop it!” Taguchi snaps, and steps between the two men, who are ridiculously close to flying at each other like a pair of rabid dogs. “This isn’t the time to be arguing like brats. Kame, you deal with Ueda here. Let’s go, Koki.”
Kame approaches Ueda, who spits on the ground and stalks off heatedly. Kame sighs. Perhaps he isn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable after that shower incident. Taguchi handles everything along with level headed Nakamaru, and Kame thinks that he may just kiss Taguchi for being his wise-man self at the moment. Taguchi is his best friend for a reason.
///
The chains around the door handles don’t come off easily, Koki and Ueda has to smash the glass and the five of them squeeze through the jagged hole, avoiding the broken edges. Kame is the last to enter, and he nearly trips, but the hand on his arm is strong and sure. Kame knows who it is, but he doesn’t look up, but mutters a quiet thanks. He isn’t going to look weak in front of Ueda. Not now, Not ever.
The corridors are dank and the stink of infected flesh and rotting corpses invade Kame’s personal space as the group ventures deeper into the building.
“Do not touch anything, and keep your masks on,” Nakamaru says as he checks the surroundings, passing room door after room door.
“This is weird…” He says, and stops walking, scanning his surroundings. “There should be a ward somewhere here that-”
“That what?” Koki prompts, shivering. “Hurry up already, Nakamaru. This place gives me the creeps. How the hell do you work in a hole like this?”
“Shut up for awhile,” Nakamaru snaps, and his brows furrow deep. “There should be a ward around here where the those with primary signs of infection were housed. That door should be locked… Oh fuck.”
Kame blinks. This is the first time he’s heard Nakamaru curse.
He is staring wide eyed at a door that has been ripped off it’s hinges, the room inside is empty. The beds are stained in dried blood and the stench that oozes out of the room is wet and sticky.
“What is it?”
“This door should not to be open.” Nakamaru whispers, his voice strained. “Everyone in there should have been in a vegetative state. Why-”
“Leave it,” Ueda says dismissively. “Just focus on finding what we came for.”
“You don’t understand,” Nakamaru whispers. “If they are not in there, that means that-”
“Shush!” Kame says sharply. His eyes dart around the corridor. In the dead silence, there is a soft sound, like the sound of feet dragging slowly, slowly across the dust-covered floor. Kame swallows, and unintentionally, his eyes dart to Ueda’s. “Do you…”
“Someone’s here,” Ueda says quietly, and Kame’s eyes catch the sharp gleam of the blade of his butterfly knife. “I think we should split up,” he says finally. “Moving in a big group like this, we are too loud. Whatever’s in here might hear us.”
Koki’s eyes narrow. “Wait a second here,” he says, scanning Ueda’s impassive expression. “What do you think you are doing?”
Kame sees Ueda’s jaw tighten, and he sneers in Koki’s face. “I’m trying to survive, you oaf. There is this thing called common sense that apparently you don’t have.” Ueda shift over and grips Kame’s upper arm. “I’m taking Kamenashi,” Ueda declares, ignoring Kame’s annoyed yelp of protest.
“Oh no you don’t,” Koki growls. He reaches out to tug Kame back. “I know what you are doing to him, you heartless bastard.” he hisses. “I can’t leave Kame alone with you without you fucking with his mind.”
The knowing look Koki shoots him along with the accusing tone makes a shadow shutter over Ueda’s expression, and his eyes dart toward Kame, who shivers at the dark look. It’s all accusing and disappointment in them that makes something swell and stick inside his throat. He looks away.
“People, seriously, stop this,” Nakamaru interrupts, prying Kame’s wrist out of Koki’s and Ueda’s hands. “Ueda is right. Moving around in a group is not safe. We should split. I’ll go with Koki, because if I leave Ueda and him together, I doubt we will find the blueprints before you both rip each other’s throat out.”
“I’ll go with Nakamaru.” Taguchi says. “He might need a little help with Koki.”
“Stop treating me like a psycho on the loose,” Koki hisses. “And if anything, we should keep Kame as far from Ueda as possible. It’s not safe for him to be anywhere near him.”
Ueda’s eyes become like cold hard diamonds. “Fuck you.”
“That’s what you do, whore,” Koki bites back.
“Enough!” Nakamaru snaps. He runs his hand through his cropped hair. “All right, here’s the plan,” he says, trying to get his bearing straight. “I think that Koki should really come with Taguchi and me.” His eyes turn up to look at Kame, and then at Ueda. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but do you think you are okay alone together?”
Ueda shrugs. “I’m fine.” he turns to look at Kame. “You okay with this?”
Kame swallows and nods his head slowly. “I-I’m good.”
Nakamaru doesn’t look convinced. “Alright then. We’ll meet back here before dusk, regardless of whether we do find the blueprints or not.”
Koki is reluctant to leave. “But-! Nakamaru, you don’t understand, that bastard is-”
But Nakamaru smacks him on the head sharply. “Leave them to their own problems, Koki. You worry so much about Kame; I’m starting to think you have a crush on him.”
“I DO NOT,” Koki bites back, and it is in this fashion that Nakamaru and Taguchi lead him away, leaving Kame alone with Ueda.
“C’mon,” Ueda says, and his voice is frosty. “We’ll check this side.”
Kame hesitates. Ueda’s sudden shift in mood isn’t really helping the jittery situation at hand either. The way the dark look had slithered over Ueda features earlier made something acidic slide into Kame’s gut, and he can feel it sizzling the lining of his stomach. He wants to punch Koki and his big mouth. Why on Earth did he choose to unload on the volatile idiot?
They search the rooms along the west corridor individually. They are mostly empty, with grimy beds and soiled sheets. So far they have not encountered anything strange yet.
“Shit,” Ueda hisses, as he runs a hand through his hair roughly. “This is taking to long.”
Kame stands a little way behind him. Uncertain, and rather worried. He jumps in fright when Ueda kicks a random gurney in frustration. The steel object rolls away and slams into a wall with a resounding crash. Kame flinches when Ueda lets out a growl.
“Are you okay?” Kame asks, and he’s surprised he can speak, but his voice is rough and grainy.
Ueda scoffs, and the sneer he shoots at Kame is all derision and spite. “Oh, I’m just peachy,” he spits. “Just fucking fine. What do you think, idiot?”
Kame doesn’t answer, and Ueda stares at him scornfully, before turning away to kick open another random door and disappearing inside. Kame doesn’t know whether to follow. Then he hears a triumphant laugh, followed by an ecstatic ‘Jackpot’ that makes his brows shoot up. Scampering in hurriedly, he catches sight of Ueda, riffling through sheafs of papers and files strewn messily across a wooden desk. Kame steps past the threshold and closes the door.
They are in some kind of office, and there are cabinets and shelves as well as boxes and boxes of files stacked on top of one another and chucked haphazardly in corners. “This place is a mess,” Kame says, and moves across the room to a cabinet and pulls it open. The wealth of papers greet him and he begins to rifle through them.
It’s all silence, and Kame is happy to keep it that way. But with Ueda, nothing is ever simple, because something warm presses itself up against Kame’s back, and he inhales sharply, papers falling from his slack fingers. Kame swallows, and he winces when Ueda’s head drops softly to his shoulder.
“Did I do something?” Ueda whispers, and his voice is strangely soft and insecure when he says this. Kame gulps. “Did I do something you hate?”
“No,” Kame replies, quietly. “No, you didn’t.”
“Are you afraid of me?” Ueda asks, and he presses closer to Kame, breath puffing into the shell of his ear.
“No,” Kame says, breathless.
“Why did you go to Koki?” Ueda asks carefully. “Why didn’t you just fucking tell me if you had a problem. Why run to someone else? If you told me, I’d have backed off, you fool. Do you take me for an idiot?”
For some reason, Kame sees red at this, and he flings Ueda off before rounding on him, eyes blazing. “‘Back off’? Back off?” he snarls and shoves at Ueda’s chest roughly. “That’s basically what you’ve been doing all this time, you fucker.”
Ueda blinks. He looks so terribly confused that Kame wants to rip his hair out. “What am I to you, Ueda?” he says tightly, trying to ignore the pounding blood in his ears. “Am I just some kind of fuck-buddy to you? Are you just playing with me? Do you enjoy it or something?”
“Kamenashi, what are you going on about?” Ueda asks slowly, his expression is one of confusion.
“Oh, will you stop acting so clueless!” Kame yells, and it reverberates throughout the empty room.
Ueda just stands there, dumbstruck and Kame hates it. He hates it how Ueda doesn’t get what he’s trying to say.
“Just what am I to you, Ueda?” he asks quietly, and the sharp contrast his subdued tone has to his shout earlier makes Ueda frown. “Please. I have to know. You just- You can’t just do this to me and walk away like nothing’s wrong. Or is it because you think of me as nothing but a toy?” Kame releases a breathless sigh that ends in a shudder, and presses his face into his hands. “I let you do all those things to me. I actually let you fuck me. God, I can’t believe I was so stupid.” He drops down to a squatting position, and breathes heavily.
Kame doesn’t want to look at Ueda, because he’s sure Ueda will most likely be laughing at his face now. Because he’s gotten everything he can out of Kame. There’s nothing else to take, and now he’s just going to spit in his face.
There is a quiet shuffle, and Kame can smell Ueda - it’s a mixture of sweat, and heat, and musk - he opens his eyes, and the man is kneeling before him, reaching a hand out and brushing sweaty bangs from his face. Ueda pulls down his own mask, and he does the same for Kame. He leans in.
And Kame’s hand shoots out clamping it down on Ueda’s mouth. His eyes cold. “Don’t you dare,” he hisses. “Not after what you did.”
Ueda pulls away Kame’s hand by the wrist. “Kamenashi- no, Kame. Please. Just listen, okay?”
“‘Listen’? Sure,” Kame says, sarcasm lancing his tone. “But that doesn’t involve you getting your tongue down my throat.”
Ueda sighs, and rubs his eyes. “Yeah,” he grunts. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Okay, uh…”
Kame frowns. “What?”
“Dammit Kame, shut up and let me say what I’m trying to say!”
Ueda takes a few deep breaths before speaking again, and when he does, he sounds tired. “Look, I’m not good at this,” he swallows. “In fact, I think I am completely new to all of…this.” He gestures at Kame and himself. “I- You aren’t like the others, all right? I see you differently. I don’t consider you a quick fuck or anything.”
Kame blinks, but he’s unconvinced, because with Ueda, everything is uncertain. “Do you realise what you are saying?”
Ueda sighs. “Jesus, Kame. I feel like I’m going in fucking circles here. There’s just NO end to this is there,” Ueda groans. “Get up. Just- get up first.”
He grips Kame by the shoulders and hoists him up on wobbly legs. “Look,” he says. “I know that me saying what I’m saying now isn’t going to do much, but I honestly don’t care. But I ‘m just going to get this off my chest here, okay? I didn’t mean to be a dick, alright? I’m just not used to this.”
Kame blinks once, twice, and he is still slightly wary. “So,” he begins, tone unsure. “Is this your kind of apology of some sort?”
Ueda shrugs. “Call it what you will,” he says vaguely, but then his gaze hardens. “But just understand that you aren’t, aren’t something that I don’t care about.”
The silence that settles in is awkward, and Kame doesn’t know how to respond, so he turns away and stumbles towards the cluttered desk. “We should- uh, continue to look for the blueprints,” he says quietly.
Kame’s hands are jittery as he shuffles through the paper, barely registering a single word written on the leaflets. He can’t handle it if Ueda does this. He hates it when Ueda does shit like this, and he just wants to leave trivial things like this for later. Yes. Later, when they don’t have the threat of being potentially poisoned to death by the government hovering over their heads.
But it seems that Ueda isn’t going to let things slide that easy. Not now, because Kame finds himself trapped against the wood desk by a pair of arms, and he stiffens almost immediately.
“We aren’t done,” Ueda growls low, and he roughly spins Kame around, and hooks his arms under Kame’s thighs, before hoisting the younger man up onto the desk, sending stacks of papers spilling and scattering to the floor in messy piles. Kame yelps at the sudden movement, and he unintentionally grips at Ueda’s shoulders to steady himself.
Ueda presses in close so that he’s between Kame’s legs, completely boxing him in. Kame stares down into Ueda’s dark, dilated eyes that appear to glow in the dark office. “Why did you run to Koki?” Ueda demands, leaning in.
Kame turns away. “I didn’t run to him. I just… told him a few things.”
“What things?”
“None of your concern.”
“The bloody hell it isn’t!”
And Ueda’s arms twine around Kame’s body, tightly and sharply. Kame gasps, and keeps him palms pressed against Ueda’s shoulders, which is the only brace that keeps him from melding into Ueda’s aggressive embrace. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Kame hisses, and tries to push out. “Stop this. Stop this right-”
“No,” Ueda says firmly. “I’m not letting you go, you slippery bastard. Because it’s like whenever I do, you go running amok and getting weird ideas about me. After everything, after all that I did, you still think I am nothing but a whore, don’t you?”
Kame freezes up. He looks horrified, and his tongue is suddenly dry, sticking to the roof of his mouth. “I never…” he begins uncertainly, but then Kame shuts up, because Ueda is right. Even after all this time, Kame can’t help but doubt Ueda, despite how unusually caring and gentle he treats him.
Kame thinks that he has managed to understand that Ueda shows how he cares in strange ways. In fact, he shows his love in even stranger ways.
“Perhaps part of it is my fault,” Ueda says quietly. “I shouldn’t have just left you like that after sex. It wasn’t right of me.” His gaze turns gentle and he nuzzles his face into the crook of Kame’s neck. “Frankly, I just didn’t know how to deal with this whole ‘like’ and ‘love’ business. I’ve never really had these kind of feelings before. For me, sex has always been like a business transaction. It was easy. Hell, it’s supposed to be easy. There were rules in black and white that I had follow, and it just made the whole deal bearable.”
Kame can’t help but feel a sharp pang of sympathy for Ueda. Whatever his life had been before this, has really messed his brain up, and the understanding he has on relationships and feelings were as bad as that of an underdeveloped teenager, but also hideously deformed - and all Ueda seems to believe that everything can be solved through sex, which is just wrong in so many directions.
Despite being strong and dependable, Ueda is kinda broken, Kame thinks. He finds it weird how Ueda shifts from dominating, to cowering, to playful, to pained, to smiling, then to frowning, so easily, that he really doesn’t know which part to believe.
But right now, Kame just feels sorry for him, and he just can’t bring himself to be angry at Ueda like this, so sighing heavily, Kame twines his arms around Ueda’s neck and presses up close to Ueda. The latter stiffens immediately, and he doesn’t know what to do. Kame can tell that he isn’t sure what’s going on when Ueda awkwardly holds him close as well. His actions are clumsy and unsure as well as hesitant.
“I don’t know what to do now, frankly,” Ueda mumbles into Kame’s neck. “What does this mean, really? Are you still mad at me or are you forgiving me, or what?”
Kame sighs. He runs a hand through Ueda’s hair. “It’s called acceptance,” he says softy. “So just shut up and accept it.”
They stay just hugging on the desk for a few moments. Kame can’t help but think that this is kinda sweet when-
“Ueda?”
“Hm?”
“Get your hands off my belt buckle.”
“Come on, not even a little?”
“This is a hospital filled with infected dead people.” Kame says flatly
“Please?”
“NO.”
“I could just do you on this table. We’ll be quick.”
“Unbelievable. We’ve just had this one big conversation about your dysfunctional understanding of relationships, and it’s like the only thing you ever think about is sex,” Kame growls and pushes away.
“But…” Ueda begins, his voice dropping to low staccatos that sends shiver up and down Kame’s spine. “I just really, really want you,” he rasps. “It’s been days since that shower incident, and I just can’t-” Ueda swallows thickly, and he tightens his hold around Kame’s waist. You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck you senseless again after all that. I really… really, really want you. I don’t want anyone else”
Kame’s breath gets caught in his throat, and please, can Ueda just like, stop looking at him so intensely with those depthless black eyes of his?
Ueda just smiles at him. “I’m guessing that this feeling means that I love you, I guess.”
///
Kame can feel his restraint crumbling. He’s honestly missed Ueda, and he isn’t sure how long he can keep up this brave act, when he catches sight of a flat oblong box that lies half open on the floor, probably one of the things that was swept off the table when Ueda hoisted him up on it.
“Hey, Ueda - stop trying to undo my belt or you’re getting nothing after this - can you check that box over there?”
Ueda pulls away from Kame reluctantly and his eyes fall upon the suspicious looking box. He stalks toward it and kicks the lid open. “Looks like floor plans of the hospital,”he says, and squats down to rifle through the large flimsy sheets of paper. “It all plans of the hospitals that were part research centres,” Ueda says grimly.
Kame walks over to join him. “How can you tell?”
“Because that’s what’s written all over these things. Look.” Ueda points at large red letters stamped at every right hand corner of the plans that read ‘Hospital/RC’ followed by a serial number. “Looks like they built in separate wings for those infected with the Red Plague,” he mutters.
“These are really something,” Kame says, but they aren’t what we need.” He lifts up several sheets at once, flipping through them until he sees a flash of blue. “Wait, I think- yep,” he breathes, and pulls out a large sheet of blue paper with thin white lines depicting a large dome-like building and sprawling tunnels and passageways running like some freaky underground maze beneath it.
“Fuck yes,” Ueda breathes.
“Stop swearing for a minute. It’s getting really annoying, and I’m starting feel the need to wash out your tongue with soap,” Kame snaps, and he proceeds to roll the large blue sheet of paper into a tube. “Okay, done,” he says. “C’mon. Let’s head back.”
Ueda happily obliged.
The sun has sunken low by the time they make it back to the designated meeting spot. Nakamaru and the others were not yet back. As usual, Ueda’s fingers start to toy with his butterfly knife, and Kame just hovers next to the deserted nurses station, eyes fixed on Ueda’s graceful fingers as they twirl the blade this way and that.
When Nakamaru fails to show up after 20 minutes, Kame begins to get restless, and he’s not shuffling through papers littering the space between the computers at the nurses station. It’s mostly patient’s records and boring files and crap, but then he catches sight of an envelope with a government stamp on the front.
Picking it up, he notes that it’s addressed to some ‘Dr Furukawa Hanzo’. Kame slits the letter open and unfolds crisp paper. The title at the very top of the letter makes his heart stop.
‘Cyanide Fumigation’
The letter is short and concise, with a single paragraph.
To Dr Furukawa,
We have confirmed the use of cyanide to be the final resort to culling the source of this plague - the infected citizens. America has authorised the use of missiles, and the plan to turning New York into ground zero should be finalised in several days. However, Dr, I don’t want to turn my hometown into a cesspool of blood and gore. Better clean death than dying without leaving a body to be buried.
Yours,
S.S. Suzuki.
Kame is just about to open his mouth to call out to Ueda, when he feels it. It’s wet and mushy and the familiar stink that rushes around him, choking and wet is stronger than ever. Kame’s breath hitches as he turns his head slowly to his left, and there, clinging to his leg, is a person - or what used to be one. From what he can tell, it’s a woman, from her long, limp, straggly balck hair that sticks to her face, which has rotted off to the point where she no longer has eyelids or lips, or a visible nose for that matter.
Kame can’t move. He can’t speak, and his whimpers and barely audible, because IT’S TOUCHING HIM. JESUS CHRIST. THE THING IS TOUCHING HIM.
She’s sprawled on her stomach, and judging from the trail of blood behind her, she had crawled her way over. Kame’s stomach churns and he gags at the sight of the feet-less legs and the chunks of flesh that are missing from her legs and naked torso.
She opens her mouth to try to speak, and her jaw falls open like some fucked up nutcracker, moving grotesquely in a way that reminds him of a cow chewing. Instead of words, all that comes out of her lipless mouth was a kind of ‘gaaah’ sound.
Kame screams.
“Fuck! What the hell, Kame-” Ueda yells, and rushes over, and his sentence tapers off when he sees the thing latched to Kame’s leg. “Holy- Let him go!”
Ueda is about to rush forwards, blade drawn, ready to slice the woman’s arm off, when she lurches forwards, and all Kame registers is a splitting pain along his calf, as she sinks her jagged teeth into soft flesh.
Kame barely registers shouts and more people arriving because it hurts, and all he can see is the horrific image of the half-rotten woman’s teeth digging into his flesh, drawing blood, and Kame suddenly realises then and there that he’s finished, and for some reason, it comes to him as more of an understanding than a shock.
He supposes that he blacked out for awhile there, because he can feel someone holding onto him tenderly, lifting him up easily and tucking his head securely under that person’s chin. He’s barely conscious, and his head feels like it’s being split open, but he can hear people shouting, arguing.
The last thing he hears before sinking into blessed oblivion is Ueda’s almost rabid snarl of
‘-I’m NOT leaving him here, you fucking understand me, you fucker? I’m saving him.”
Kame smiles.
///
When he’s more lucid, he can feel soft sheets beneath him. But he can’t see and he can’t breathe. His entire body aches, and his spitting headache earlier has turned into a full blown migraine. His insides feel cold and hot at the same time, but his skin feels like it’s on fire, and it just pain, pain, pain.
Kame remembers screaming when someone touches him, because it fucking hurts, and he just wants whoever it is that’s touching him to stop.
“- Kame, calm down. I’m- I’m just going to take a sample of blood, okay? I need to know how far on you are.”
The voice is familiar, and so much like his dad’s. Kame peels open his eyelids that feel like lead blocks, and he comes face to face with a man in a surgical mask. He has horn-rimmed glasses, and short cropped hair. Who is he again? Ah yes, Nakamura… Nakamaru… something.
The person touches him and it feels like a thousand needles stabbing at his skin. Kame thinks that he might have screamed, because underneath all the ringing, he can hear a pained voice shout.
“-Jesus Christ, Nakamaru, what the fuck are you doing to him?”
Kame falls asleep finally, or perhaps he just passed out again. Kame isn’t too sure.
///
When Kame wakes up again, it’s all dark, and he wonders why. Ah, his eyes are still closed, that’s why. It’s too much torture to open them at all, and his entire body is shaking horribly. Why is it so cold?
“- Ueda, Ueda!”
Kame hears a crash.
“- No, NO. Don’t you fucking tell me to chill. Don’t you fucking dare, Nakamaru. I will cut you face off. Don’t-”
He wants to call out, but he can’t. Why is it getting so cold?
///
“- Its’ been days. We should start thinking about a way to get into the sanctuary.”
“- Ueda! What the fuck are you- Hey! stop it!”
Kame hears a scuffle, followed by the sound of flesh hitting the ground.
“What the hell’s your deal, you psycho?”
“- Kame is the one who got those blueprints, you ungrateful prick. He’s in there dying, and all you think about is saving your own hide!”
///
“Nakamaru, what are you doing with that?”
“I’m waiting for Kame’s results. It should be clear in a few more hours. I’ll be able to tell how badly the disease has eaten at his body in these few days.”
///
Today, Kame feels better.
Heaps better.
He still feels feverish, but the pain is gone, leaving behind a dull throb that aches from time to time.
“Wha-”
He can hear voices better now.
“Is there something wrong? Isn’t that Kame’s test?”
“Y-Yeah, but-”
“But what?”
“K-Kame- He’s fine.”
Silence.
“Don’t bullshit with me, Maru,” Kame recognises that voice. It’s Taguchi. He can’t believe Taguchi swore. It is just something that is impossible.
“You do know Koki and I have to actually watch Ueda 24/7 because he’s almost suicidal, right? If he hears you say that…”
“B-But… It’s true! Look, all signs of infection, disease, all gone! I thought it was weird that Kame never developed any lesions in the first few hours. I just assumed that the plague was working slower in his case. But this- this is amazing! Quick, pass me that pack.”
Kame hears a rustling noise.
“What is this?” Taguchi asks, and Kame can picture his worried face. It rips at his guts.
“It’s another test. It’s to test for immunity,” Nakamaru says, his voice is high and jittery. “This was developed earlier, but after thousands of tests, no one showed any signs of immunity, so we just stopped testing. I took this from the hospital on a hunch. Let’s just see-”
Kame feels someone lift his wrist, and the coolness of a needle is touched to his skin. He winces slightly, but he doesn’t move.
It’s silence for awhile, except for the rustling of Nakamaru’s clothes, and quiet breathing.
….
….
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Nakamaru whispers.
“What? What is it?”
“What the hell do you think?” Kame’s heart clenches at the euphoria in Nakamaru’s voice.
“Kame is an immune.”
///
It’s not a big party with hugs and kisses when Kame finally opens his eyes and manages to sit up, because when he does, it’s night. His room is quiet, and Kame has trouble adjusting to his vision, which is slightly blurry from non-use. His muscles are stiff, but otherwise, he feels okay.
Scanning his surroundings, Kame tries to get to his feet quietly, because he can see Nakamaru sprawled on the floor next to his bed, obviously monitoring him. Taguchi and Koki are also in here for some reason, and Kame’s heart swells and how much his strange ‘friends’ are worried for him. Ueda is nowhere to be seen though.
Kame knows he shouldn’t be getting up, because he is still dizzy, and a tad feverish. But if there is one thing he needs more than sleep right now, is a bath. He looks down and shudders at the sight of the red bite marks that are now scabbing at this ankle. Even though he isn’t sick, recalling the feeling when that infected woman had bit down, teeth digging into flesh and tearing his skin open isn’t ideal.
Kame half stumbles to the bathroom, and strips out of his clothes. It’s dusty and grain with dried sweat and dirt, but that makes sense since no one would have dared touch him after he had been bitten. Kame shrugs and steps into the showers stall, twisting the water onto full blast. For some reason, he keeps his eyes on the door, because just in case Ueda busts in like some cliche drama movie where one character suddenly survives death, and his/her partner gets this stupid epiphany that he/she loves him/her, and then the confession scene, where they kiss and make up and everything goes back to normal.
Kame laughs quietly at this. How stupid. The strange thing is though, Kame had his confession before he had his little near death experience, and he supposes that in some way, this sorta breaks the chain of clicheness that seems to stick to him.
Kame just finishes his bath and wraps a towel over himself, when the door opens.
It isn’t thrown open, or flung open, but it opens slowly, and there is Ueda. He looks fine. In fact, he doesn’t even look like a person close to suicidal.
“Why do we always do this kind of crap in the bathroom?” he asks into the silence, fingers twisting into his towel to hold it up.
Ueda doesn’t answer, he just stares. “Because we are lame like that,” he finally rasps, eyes drinking in the sight of Kame hungrily. “Kame,” he swallows, and releases a shuddering breath. “Kame, I-”
“Shut up and come here, you idiot,” Kame says finally, to save Ueda whatever pride he has left.
And just like that, Ueda has him pinned to the wall of the shower stall, forehead against forehead, but lips nowhere close to touching. “May I?” Ueda asks quietly, and Kame smacks him sharply round the underside of his head.
“Do you still need to ask?” he snaps, and in one swift motion grabs Ueda’s face and melds their lips together. The kiss is all tongue and hot and messy, and Kame’s towel is slipping lower and lower, until it rides precariously low on his hips.
“Fuck,” Ueda whispers, when he releases Kame’s lips. “I really- I fucking love you,” Ueda hisses, “I don’t know why, I just do.”
Kame smiles into Ueda’s lips. “I know,” he replies, but still, the insecurity is there, because with Ueda, everything is uncertain.
“You know I’m bad at this, right?”
Kame giggles softly. “I know,” he says. “And I also know that you aren’t gay.”
Ueda blinks, and he’s about to ask what the hell is Kame blabbering on about now, when Kame smiles a strangely serene smile before he grabs Ueda’s hand and presses it to his crotch, cupping the bulge underneath the flimsy towel. Ueda’s eyes go wide.
“I'm not what you want. I can never be what you want,” Kame says slowly.
He’s quiet for a moment, but then Ueda’s brows furrow deep, and he snarls at a surprised kame. “Shut up,” he whispers, and leans in to kiss him slow and sweet and deep, and he doesn’t remove him hand from Kame’s crotch at all. Instead, he squeezes the soft flesh and relishes when Kame whimpers softly. He presses his face to the shell of Kame’s ear and nibbles at the lobe reassuringly.
"I don't care,” he says, tone set and certain. “I just want you.”
<- part 3 II -> part 5