FIC FOR ROCKTHECLICHE
For: rockthecliche
From: sekky_chan
Title: まってる (Waiting, We’re Waiting)
Pairings/Characters: KAT-TUN, elevator-tan. Also feature: TegoMass, Kanjani8, and a security guard named Yoshiji. Implied crack Junno/KAT-TUN members, Kame/Maru, Maru/Massu, and Junno/Yoko(?)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Uncomfortable Elevator Bonding Moments. References of Japanese pop culture. Violence. Maru’s potty mouth (but not too much). Forced innuendos, and stripping.
Notes: I hope rockthecliche will like this, despite all the not-humor! All characteristic dissing was done with true adoration. There are some details that are not correct irl, but it’s there for humor’s sake. Title is taken from a piece of elevator muzak.
A huge basket of love cookies for everyone who have been made to endure along with me, on and off my tlist.
For proper mood experience, please play this while reading.
Summary: KAT-TUN got stuck in an elevator.
1:24PM
It is a strange yet fascinating sight.
Anybody who knows KAT-TUN knows that they’re rarely in sync. This doesn’t just mean they can’t formatively dance. No, their extreme sense of… individuality includes never wear the same theme of outfit to work, never use the same brand of shampoo (even though some private cases might want to dispute) and, most importantly, if at all possible, never stay in the same enclosed space together for more than two minutes.
Truth be told, KAT-TUN have never been in the same elevator two at the same time. It’s nothing serious, actually, their league of managers don’t really care if they get cramped into a sardine box together unless they’re doing a PV or filming some sadistic variety show. Which, would be great if nobody will ever suggest this to them, thank you very much.
This is why Junno is highly amused when he finds all four of his ten-year band mates unknowingly step into the garage elevator with him.
They’re all currently enthusiastically engaged (read: passionately shouting into each other’s face) in the topic of whether men look better in frills, or in lace.
Kazuya thinks he has seen enough women in both of these materials for his opinion to be the standard here, okay, guys? He insists that lace looks itchy and therefore, should not be worn that often. Uepi thinks they’re talking about maid outfits, which is one of his fetishes. Nakamaru-kun also joins because he wants to use this occasion to let go of his secret buried rage on them by using a lot of swear words on both parties, so nobody knows which side he’s actually on right now. And Koki is taking a strange, lonely defensive attitude toward lace, because he’s actually worn both, and lace is surprisingly comfortable, alright?!
Junno returns his attention to his PSP-E1000 (of which he has named Ranka, to go with his smartphone Lee). The way things go is that he’ll stay quiet until one of them (at this rate, it’ll probably be Koki) turn and demand him to pick a side (i.e. their side). He’ll smile and say something like, “I think both look good on girls, guys,” and then one, or all of them, will verbally and/or physically attack him.
That was Junno’s plan, anyway. Fate, however, has something else on its mind.
Something terrible.
1:32PM
That is when he notices it.
“Guys,” he says. “Has the elevator stopped moving?”
There is a pause as they all take account of this, Nakamaru-kun only because he’s been interrupted mid-cursing.
By the ironic, humorous law of Destiny, all five of them are among the fastest, cleverest, cruelest elevator runners. This means they were the first and only people that morning to be able to claim a spot in the only elevator that runs from the garage, and then laughing at the misfortune of those weaker, slower co-workers that are now having to take the endless, darkened and probably filled with ghosts of Idol past stairs. Stairs that go on and on forever and have random arrows showing them the direction to the nearest bathroom.
They are KAT-TUN. They came. They saw. They conquered.
“Oh fuck,” Nakamaru utters at last. “It has.”
They are trapped.
1:33PM
Nakamaru stands in the far corner on the right, leaning on the wall near the control board. He’s muttering to himself about how Kazuya’s arm fat is probably what caused the elevator to spontaneously stop working, by overweighing the limit weight all by itself.
He forgets that they’re all standing inside a two-meter square box, and thus, can all hear his whispering perfectly.
”I’m not fat!”Kazuya huffs, and then thinking that wasn’t enough, he adds. “You’re old.”
“Well,” Nakamaru grunts. “Someone must have broken it.”
Uepi decides to turn around on the left corner, facing the wall, and stays motionless for the next two minutes.
“You know what this reminds me of,” Koki speaks from his post next to Junno, sounding strangely quiet.
Junno wordlessly inches a little closer to Kazuya.
1:35PM
Uepi, ever the most level-headed, most reasonable figure you could count on (after he has had his fun watching the world burn), moves closer to the control panel to investigate. Junno looks at him starry eyed, heart swelling with admiration. He thinks in a bad situation he would like to have Uepi next to him. Guy always seems to know what to do.
Well, except for when it involves electronic devices, that is.
The story goes that Uepi’s parents have always been supportive of him pursuing a futuristic, technologically creative path. That was why they bought all these little step-to-step electronic ensemble boxes for him when he was a child.
The first moment they realized they had been dead wrong was when he was nine. They had given him a Do-Nothing device, of which the only requirement for completion would be for it to do nothing at all.
Uepi has allegedly spent five hours on it and, within his first checking of the device, all the light bulbs in the house had spontaneously lit up.
-
There’s a very loud pop after they have hopefully (unwittingly) watched their former leader, also known as their resident Reverse Engineer, fidgeted with the panel. Uepi, ever an optimist, turns to them with a half-hearted shrug.
“Oops,” he says, holding up the emergency button.
“How the hell did you break the emergency button?” Nakamaru demands, eyes popping out incredulously.
“In my defense,” Uepi says. “Someone has already stuck some kind of gum on it.”
1:35(1/2)PM
Tegoshi leans against the makeup table, feet propping on the next chair over as he does his nails. He pops another strawberry flavored chewing gum in his mouth.
Next to him, Massu glances at the grocery bag in his lap helplessly.
Nakamaru-kun is being quite late for their first breakfast date in months, and he’s starving.
1:36PM
Kazuya throws himself against the wall in a dramatic, desperate gesture, flapping his arms around in his leather coat and scarf, even when they’re already stuck inside an elevator. In the middle of June.
“It’s too hot in here!” He whispers, panting like a walrus suffering from asthma.
Koki says helpfully. “Maybe you should take off your coat.”
“We’re gonna run out of air if Kame keeps hyperventilating like that.”
“We’re not.” Nakamaru springs up straight, looking suddenly determined. “I’m kicking the doors out.”
Junno raises his hand.
“You know that’s not how elevator doors work-“ But Nakamaru is having none of that. He’d rather risk losing his feet than spending another minute with his band mates in a confined metal box because he just wants to rip their noses off and wrap them in nice little cotton towels.
So he kicks at the doors. And then he kicks again. What he doesn’t know is that they are made of pure steal, and they are heroic. They refuse to bulge.
After a while, Nakamaru is still weakly kicking at it, but it’s clear he’s not trying to break out anymore.
1:37PM
Nakamaru flops down, and declares that he hates his life. Which is just as useful as if he has said fuck it.
1:38PM
Junno stays quiet. He likes to stay quiet in these rare moments of being surrounded by his lovely band members. He doesn’t say it, but he’s glad he’s stuck with them. Has it been any other Johnny’s talent, Junno would have gone mad.
They wouldn’t have smelt as good as Kazuya, even though Kazuya is aggressively sweating right now, his body probably responding to his panic. Even though he’s being really gross, Kazuya’s surface is perfectly calm, and he still smells really good. Truly a natural idol, at his finest, lowest point.
On his left, Koki fidgets with the lowest button of his shirt, big eyes sweeping across each of their faces like he’s contemplating something.
“It was this video I saw once,” Koki murmurs, as he bats his lowered eyelashes at them. “There was this group of people who got stuck in an elevator and realized that they had… needs-“
“Does any of you have your phone operating?” Uepi queries. “Because mine is dead.”
There’s a harmony of thoughtful “oh”, “hm”, as they all ponder their communicating devices. Despite the fact that they should have perfect reception even if they're stuck thirty stories underground (which hopefully they're not), Junno lets out a disappointing sigh.
“Mine has no signal, guys.”
“Yeah, mine neither.”
“Don’t you think it’s fucking weird? Where exactly are we-“
“Right? This makes no sense!”
“Anyway they tried to break out at first,” Koki shrugs, putting his phone back in his jeans pocket. “And then they realized that it was the perfect opportunity to embrace human harmonization by the most literal way possible-“
“Damn you Japanese perfect steel elevators!” Nakamaru shouts.
1:40PM
“We won’t run out of air.” Uepi assures them.
“But what if we do, Tatchan? What if we do?” Kazuya groans helplessly.
“We won’t.”
Junno and Uepi exchange a glance. Junno offers him a sappy smile, and shrugs. Uepi rolls his eyes.
They’re not exactly the closest friends slash co-workers. But during crisis, they are often the more grounded members (Nakamaru is a miss and hit case), offering others their calmness as a way to stop the level of crazy to go higher.
(That, or Uepi helps taunting their crazy so that it’ll go higher. It depends on his mood.)
Thus, in Junno’s opinion, they have a special bond. And some kind of invented body language. Except the fact that Uepi isn’t really aware of the fact that they have one, so he just intercepts their body language as normal body language.
Their brief exchange, thus, are aimed at totally different subjects.
In Uepi’s version, it went like this:
“Hey, did you see the way Nakamaru crunched his nose when he kicked the door? It’s hilarious.”
“Sorry, he’s turning his butt to my face, so the only thing I’m seeing is his butt.”
“You’re super lame.”
In Junno’s version, it went like this:
“Hey, we’re so Spiderman and that random dude in the first movie here, right?”
“Meh, I don’t remember it.”
“You’re super lame.”
Next to him, Koki whispers still. “There are so many things you can do in a trapped elevator…”
1:41PM
They try waving furiously at the tiny security camera next. Kazuya has discovered it when he was looking up to cry in distress.
-
The security guard, whose nametag reads Yoshiji (but that tall guy from KAT-TUN insists on calling him Yugi for some reason. He knows, right? How annoying, idols and their forgetfulness), is currently away from the surveillance screens to block an unauthorized van from parking in front of the building.
He has about enough of it. He never knows these guys are and sometimes some of them are just fangirls in disguise to sneak into the building and leave ominous letters inside the elevator.
“But it’s us!” Nishikido screams. “The Eito!”
Yoshiji shakes his head. “Sorry, never heard of it.”
“Uh. Kanjani Eight?” Yasuda tries.
“No idea.”
“Kansai Johnny’s?” Subaru queries in the passenger seat. Yoko waves his hand.
“It’s okay, guys. Let me text Taguchi. He’ll practically trip his way down here to get us.”
“I’m Nishikido Ryo!” Nishikido screams again. “Sexiest Osakan! Surely you have heard of me!”
1:43PM
Kazuya makes Uepi and Junno trying to pry open the door next. They stand on each side of the door, clawing their fingers on the crack, hoping this impossible display of human strength is enough to shut their resident sensitive body up.
Nakamaru sits on the side and cheers them on; for once he has stopped swearing.
“Come on guys, you’re the strongest members of our group.” He says, with teary eyes and hoarse voice from cursing too much. “Surely if there’s anyone that can get us out, it’ll be you two!”
They spontaneously lose their grip and slam into the opposite walls, and groan.
Nakamaru sighs. “Oh fuck it. We’re all gonna starve here to death.”
“I have an idea,” Junno wipes at his brow. “Like, if we combine all our strength, and with a really loud “Finish!”, we kick at the door with our full force-“
“Please stop.”
“I want to be Red, then” Koki pipes in.
1:45PM
Kazuya writhes on the floor, chubby fingers claw at Nakamaru’s jacket lapels.
“We’re gonna die~” He sobs into the other’s hard, bony shoulders. “Or one of us is gonna die and the rest will be forced to feast on his lifeless body~”
Koki nervously shoves half a KitKat bar in his mouth, and offers Junno the remaining half.
“ Oh, Shinji," Junno sighs.
Ueda touches his chin. “Hey guys.”
Four disshelved hair turn toward him.
“What if it’s true? What if we are gonna be stuck here forever, with no one bother to look for us?”
Nakamaru scoffs.
“No way,” He says. “There’s nobody that mean.”
“Or that ignorant.” Kazuya nods.
-
KAT-TUN’s chief manager walks into the empty dressing room, void of any familiar mayhem or incompetence.
He smiles. The corners of his mouth reach his cheekbones in a very creepy manner.
His chronic headache is fading already. He can just see his future finally rids of off-the-clock alcohol.
1:46PM
“Guys, guys, I got this.”
Uepi staggers off the wall, and they once again, watch in rafted silence as their brave, magnificent ex leader edges his way to the control panel.
They shouldn’t have let him. But in this desperate moment, Nakamaru just stares at his back with appreciation. He thinks if there’s anyone smart and strong and optimistic enough to get them all out of there, it would be his lifelong friend.
Kazuya’s eyes widen as Uepi studies something at the door for a few minutes, making knowing noises.
Junno holds his breath. Koki juts his lower lip out like a fish.
“Aha!” Uepi crowns.
“What is it?” Nakamaru demands.
“Wifi signal! It’s only one bar but-“ he turns around and then, immediately makes a sad face.
“Forget it,” he shrugs. “I lost it.”
They let out another synchronized sigh. If they get out of there alive, they’re going to be the most synchronized boy band ever, Junno thinks.
Or at least they’ll finally learn how to keep it on the same beat.
1:47PM
Nakamaru bangs his head on the wall. It’s starting to feel very uncomfortable. Kame is leaning into him on one side, staring into the pocket mirror and fixes his hair, and yet he still refuses to take off his trench coat and scarf, and the fabric is digging into Nakamaru’s skin. Uepi is already lost in his own world on Nakamaru’s other side, his back to them, as he sits motionless in the far corner.
It’s hopeless, he thinks. They’re gonna die in here for sure.
On the opposite wall, Koki nervously plays with the buttons of his shirt.
“It was an orgy,” He finally says.
Synchronizingly, Junno and Nakamaru both withdraw their legs, which at some point have come to an agreement to tangle together in the middle of the floor for comfortableness’ sake, being the only two members who actually have some length to boost.
Kazuya leans away, and they all (including Koki) feel suddenly violated.
1:50PM
Koki, after being stopped at his second attempt to take his jeans off, offers a thought.
“Do you think there’s a ventilation door on the ceiling? They always have one in the movies.”
They all look up and realize that Japanese engineers don’t watch American action movies like some Japanese idols do.
Koki pouts.
“I’ve seen this once…”
“You already said it, Koki.” Nakamaru pinches the bridge of his nose. He can feel despair dripping into his soul from a cold, heartless syringe named scumbag elevator. Of all the misfortunes he has endured, is this really the one that will be endgame for him? What if he takes out his gun and starts shooting at the door, will it bulge?
Will the bullets stray and hit the others instead?
Koki shakes his head, which is resting on top of his curled knees.
“I mean other movies, Yuichi. Gosh, do you always only think of porn?”
Four pairs of eyes stare at him.
1:52PM
Junno twirls a lock of his hair around his finger. He’s very quiet, and he’s very bored.
He can smell the sweat starting to pour from his band mates; some come from worry and panic attacks, some from the seemingly increasing temperature, and Kazuya’s now very strange scent of cologne, who probably won’t take off his scarf even in death.
Junno misses his Begonosuke 4.0. He sniffs, and sags against the wall. The elevator creaks slightly.
Kazuya has now joined Uepi, and they’re both facing away from NTT, staring into the corner of the elevator wordlessly.
Junno looks to his left. Koki is curled up into a tossled hair-ball, and he’s murmuring to himself about “elevator monster” or something. Junno sits down with him, his partner in crime, who looks up at him with big, woeful eyes. On his right, Nakamaru-kun has crawled over, sighing heavily as he bangs his head on the wall repeatedly.
Junno smiles. At least they are together once more, enduring till the end of eternity, which Junno honestly hopes involves an elevator repairman.
1:54PM
“I’m sorry I called you old,” Kazuya offers.
Nakamaru nods. Times like these really bring out the good sides of people, as they reunite and let go of all old grudges.
“I’m sorry I blamed your fat for our demise. You’re chubby, but not that chubby.”
1:55PM
It ends in a quick, brutal moment. Kame breaks out of the pile of them and starts tearing at his shirt.
“I can’t take this music anymore!!” He screams in between sobs.
-
When the repairman opens the door, he’s very puzzled to find five young, sweating men piling up against each other; one of them is only wearing his boxers.
All of them are in the midst of quietly sobbing.
Later, Junno figures the vital life lesson one shall never forget: You never walk into the elevator with two or more members of KAT-TUN (ever, again). If you do, hightail the hell out of there before it traumatizes you for life.
3:00PM
In NEWS’ dressing room, Massu sheds a tear.
From: sekky_chan
Title: まってる (Waiting, We’re Waiting)
Pairings/Characters: KAT-TUN, elevator-tan. Also feature: TegoMass, Kanjani8, and a security guard named Yoshiji. Implied crack Junno/KAT-TUN members, Kame/Maru, Maru/Massu, and Junno/Yoko(?)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Uncomfortable Elevator Bonding Moments. References of Japanese pop culture. Violence. Maru’s potty mouth (but not too much). Forced innuendos, and stripping.
Notes: I hope rockthecliche will like this, despite all the not-humor! All characteristic dissing was done with true adoration. There are some details that are not correct irl, but it’s there for humor’s sake. Title is taken from a piece of elevator muzak.
A huge basket of love cookies for everyone who have been made to endure along with me, on and off my tlist.
For proper mood experience, please play this while reading.
Summary: KAT-TUN got stuck in an elevator.
1:24PM
It is a strange yet fascinating sight.
Anybody who knows KAT-TUN knows that they’re rarely in sync. This doesn’t just mean they can’t formatively dance. No, their extreme sense of… individuality includes never wear the same theme of outfit to work, never use the same brand of shampoo (even though some private cases might want to dispute) and, most importantly, if at all possible, never stay in the same enclosed space together for more than two minutes.
Truth be told, KAT-TUN have never been in the same elevator two at the same time. It’s nothing serious, actually, their league of managers don’t really care if they get cramped into a sardine box together unless they’re doing a PV or filming some sadistic variety show. Which, would be great if nobody will ever suggest this to them, thank you very much.
This is why Junno is highly amused when he finds all four of his ten-year band mates unknowingly step into the garage elevator with him.
They’re all currently enthusiastically engaged (read: passionately shouting into each other’s face) in the topic of whether men look better in frills, or in lace.
Kazuya thinks he has seen enough women in both of these materials for his opinion to be the standard here, okay, guys? He insists that lace looks itchy and therefore, should not be worn that often. Uepi thinks they’re talking about maid outfits, which is one of his fetishes. Nakamaru-kun also joins because he wants to use this occasion to let go of his secret buried rage on them by using a lot of swear words on both parties, so nobody knows which side he’s actually on right now. And Koki is taking a strange, lonely defensive attitude toward lace, because he’s actually worn both, and lace is surprisingly comfortable, alright?!
Junno returns his attention to his PSP-E1000 (of which he has named Ranka, to go with his smartphone Lee). The way things go is that he’ll stay quiet until one of them (at this rate, it’ll probably be Koki) turn and demand him to pick a side (i.e. their side). He’ll smile and say something like, “I think both look good on girls, guys,” and then one, or all of them, will verbally and/or physically attack him.
That was Junno’s plan, anyway. Fate, however, has something else on its mind.
Something terrible.
1:32PM
That is when he notices it.
“Guys,” he says. “Has the elevator stopped moving?”
There is a pause as they all take account of this, Nakamaru-kun only because he’s been interrupted mid-cursing.
By the ironic, humorous law of Destiny, all five of them are among the fastest, cleverest, cruelest elevator runners. This means they were the first and only people that morning to be able to claim a spot in the only elevator that runs from the garage, and then laughing at the misfortune of those weaker, slower co-workers that are now having to take the endless, darkened and probably filled with ghosts of Idol past stairs. Stairs that go on and on forever and have random arrows showing them the direction to the nearest bathroom.
They are KAT-TUN. They came. They saw. They conquered.
“Oh fuck,” Nakamaru utters at last. “It has.”
They are trapped.
1:33PM
Nakamaru stands in the far corner on the right, leaning on the wall near the control board. He’s muttering to himself about how Kazuya’s arm fat is probably what caused the elevator to spontaneously stop working, by overweighing the limit weight all by itself.
He forgets that they’re all standing inside a two-meter square box, and thus, can all hear his whispering perfectly.
”I’m not fat!”Kazuya huffs, and then thinking that wasn’t enough, he adds. “You’re old.”
“Well,” Nakamaru grunts. “Someone must have broken it.”
Uepi decides to turn around on the left corner, facing the wall, and stays motionless for the next two minutes.
“You know what this reminds me of,” Koki speaks from his post next to Junno, sounding strangely quiet.
Junno wordlessly inches a little closer to Kazuya.
1:35PM
Uepi, ever the most level-headed, most reasonable figure you could count on (after he has had his fun watching the world burn), moves closer to the control panel to investigate. Junno looks at him starry eyed, heart swelling with admiration. He thinks in a bad situation he would like to have Uepi next to him. Guy always seems to know what to do.
Well, except for when it involves electronic devices, that is.
The story goes that Uepi’s parents have always been supportive of him pursuing a futuristic, technologically creative path. That was why they bought all these little step-to-step electronic ensemble boxes for him when he was a child.
The first moment they realized they had been dead wrong was when he was nine. They had given him a Do-Nothing device, of which the only requirement for completion would be for it to do nothing at all.
Uepi has allegedly spent five hours on it and, within his first checking of the device, all the light bulbs in the house had spontaneously lit up.
-
There’s a very loud pop after they have hopefully (unwittingly) watched their former leader, also known as their resident Reverse Engineer, fidgeted with the panel. Uepi, ever an optimist, turns to them with a half-hearted shrug.
“Oops,” he says, holding up the emergency button.
“How the hell did you break the emergency button?” Nakamaru demands, eyes popping out incredulously.
“In my defense,” Uepi says. “Someone has already stuck some kind of gum on it.”
1:35(1/2)PM
Tegoshi leans against the makeup table, feet propping on the next chair over as he does his nails. He pops another strawberry flavored chewing gum in his mouth.
Next to him, Massu glances at the grocery bag in his lap helplessly.
Nakamaru-kun is being quite late for their first breakfast date in months, and he’s starving.
1:36PM
Kazuya throws himself against the wall in a dramatic, desperate gesture, flapping his arms around in his leather coat and scarf, even when they’re already stuck inside an elevator. In the middle of June.
“It’s too hot in here!” He whispers, panting like a walrus suffering from asthma.
Koki says helpfully. “Maybe you should take off your coat.”
“We’re gonna run out of air if Kame keeps hyperventilating like that.”
“We’re not.” Nakamaru springs up straight, looking suddenly determined. “I’m kicking the doors out.”
Junno raises his hand.
“You know that’s not how elevator doors work-“ But Nakamaru is having none of that. He’d rather risk losing his feet than spending another minute with his band mates in a confined metal box because he just wants to rip their noses off and wrap them in nice little cotton towels.
So he kicks at the doors. And then he kicks again. What he doesn’t know is that they are made of pure steal, and they are heroic. They refuse to bulge.
After a while, Nakamaru is still weakly kicking at it, but it’s clear he’s not trying to break out anymore.
1:37PM
Nakamaru flops down, and declares that he hates his life. Which is just as useful as if he has said fuck it.
1:38PM
Junno stays quiet. He likes to stay quiet in these rare moments of being surrounded by his lovely band members. He doesn’t say it, but he’s glad he’s stuck with them. Has it been any other Johnny’s talent, Junno would have gone mad.
They wouldn’t have smelt as good as Kazuya, even though Kazuya is aggressively sweating right now, his body probably responding to his panic. Even though he’s being really gross, Kazuya’s surface is perfectly calm, and he still smells really good. Truly a natural idol, at his finest, lowest point.
On his left, Koki fidgets with the lowest button of his shirt, big eyes sweeping across each of their faces like he’s contemplating something.
“It was this video I saw once,” Koki murmurs, as he bats his lowered eyelashes at them. “There was this group of people who got stuck in an elevator and realized that they had… needs-“
“Does any of you have your phone operating?” Uepi queries. “Because mine is dead.”
There’s a harmony of thoughtful “oh”, “hm”, as they all ponder their communicating devices. Despite the fact that they should have perfect reception even if they're stuck thirty stories underground (which hopefully they're not), Junno lets out a disappointing sigh.
“Mine has no signal, guys.”
“Yeah, mine neither.”
“Don’t you think it’s fucking weird? Where exactly are we-“
“Right? This makes no sense!”
“Anyway they tried to break out at first,” Koki shrugs, putting his phone back in his jeans pocket. “And then they realized that it was the perfect opportunity to embrace human harmonization by the most literal way possible-“
“Damn you Japanese perfect steel elevators!” Nakamaru shouts.
1:40PM
“We won’t run out of air.” Uepi assures them.
“But what if we do, Tatchan? What if we do?” Kazuya groans helplessly.
“We won’t.”
Junno and Uepi exchange a glance. Junno offers him a sappy smile, and shrugs. Uepi rolls his eyes.
They’re not exactly the closest friends slash co-workers. But during crisis, they are often the more grounded members (Nakamaru is a miss and hit case), offering others their calmness as a way to stop the level of crazy to go higher.
(That, or Uepi helps taunting their crazy so that it’ll go higher. It depends on his mood.)
Thus, in Junno’s opinion, they have a special bond. And some kind of invented body language. Except the fact that Uepi isn’t really aware of the fact that they have one, so he just intercepts their body language as normal body language.
Their brief exchange, thus, are aimed at totally different subjects.
In Uepi’s version, it went like this:
“Hey, did you see the way Nakamaru crunched his nose when he kicked the door? It’s hilarious.”
“Sorry, he’s turning his butt to my face, so the only thing I’m seeing is his butt.”
“You’re super lame.”
In Junno’s version, it went like this:
“Hey, we’re so Spiderman and that random dude in the first movie here, right?”
“Meh, I don’t remember it.”
“You’re super lame.”
Next to him, Koki whispers still. “There are so many things you can do in a trapped elevator…”
1:41PM
They try waving furiously at the tiny security camera next. Kazuya has discovered it when he was looking up to cry in distress.
-
The security guard, whose nametag reads Yoshiji (but that tall guy from KAT-TUN insists on calling him Yugi for some reason. He knows, right? How annoying, idols and their forgetfulness), is currently away from the surveillance screens to block an unauthorized van from parking in front of the building.
He has about enough of it. He never knows these guys are and sometimes some of them are just fangirls in disguise to sneak into the building and leave ominous letters inside the elevator.
“But it’s us!” Nishikido screams. “The Eito!”
Yoshiji shakes his head. “Sorry, never heard of it.”
“Uh. Kanjani Eight?” Yasuda tries.
“No idea.”
“Kansai Johnny’s?” Subaru queries in the passenger seat. Yoko waves his hand.
“It’s okay, guys. Let me text Taguchi. He’ll practically trip his way down here to get us.”
“I’m Nishikido Ryo!” Nishikido screams again. “Sexiest Osakan! Surely you have heard of me!”
1:43PM
Kazuya makes Uepi and Junno trying to pry open the door next. They stand on each side of the door, clawing their fingers on the crack, hoping this impossible display of human strength is enough to shut their resident sensitive body up.
Nakamaru sits on the side and cheers them on; for once he has stopped swearing.
“Come on guys, you’re the strongest members of our group.” He says, with teary eyes and hoarse voice from cursing too much. “Surely if there’s anyone that can get us out, it’ll be you two!”
They spontaneously lose their grip and slam into the opposite walls, and groan.
Nakamaru sighs. “Oh fuck it. We’re all gonna starve here to death.”
“I have an idea,” Junno wipes at his brow. “Like, if we combine all our strength, and with a really loud “Finish!”, we kick at the door with our full force-“
“Please stop.”
“I want to be Red, then” Koki pipes in.
1:45PM
Kazuya writhes on the floor, chubby fingers claw at Nakamaru’s jacket lapels.
“We’re gonna die~” He sobs into the other’s hard, bony shoulders. “Or one of us is gonna die and the rest will be forced to feast on his lifeless body~”
Koki nervously shoves half a KitKat bar in his mouth, and offers Junno the remaining half.
“ Oh, Shinji," Junno sighs.
Ueda touches his chin. “Hey guys.”
Four disshelved hair turn toward him.
“What if it’s true? What if we are gonna be stuck here forever, with no one bother to look for us?”
Nakamaru scoffs.
“No way,” He says. “There’s nobody that mean.”
“Or that ignorant.” Kazuya nods.
-
KAT-TUN’s chief manager walks into the empty dressing room, void of any familiar mayhem or incompetence.
He smiles. The corners of his mouth reach his cheekbones in a very creepy manner.
His chronic headache is fading already. He can just see his future finally rids of off-the-clock alcohol.
1:46PM
“Guys, guys, I got this.”
Uepi staggers off the wall, and they once again, watch in rafted silence as their brave, magnificent ex leader edges his way to the control panel.
They shouldn’t have let him. But in this desperate moment, Nakamaru just stares at his back with appreciation. He thinks if there’s anyone smart and strong and optimistic enough to get them all out of there, it would be his lifelong friend.
Kazuya’s eyes widen as Uepi studies something at the door for a few minutes, making knowing noises.
Junno holds his breath. Koki juts his lower lip out like a fish.
“Aha!” Uepi crowns.
“What is it?” Nakamaru demands.
“Wifi signal! It’s only one bar but-“ he turns around and then, immediately makes a sad face.
“Forget it,” he shrugs. “I lost it.”
They let out another synchronized sigh. If they get out of there alive, they’re going to be the most synchronized boy band ever, Junno thinks.
Or at least they’ll finally learn how to keep it on the same beat.
1:47PM
Nakamaru bangs his head on the wall. It’s starting to feel very uncomfortable. Kame is leaning into him on one side, staring into the pocket mirror and fixes his hair, and yet he still refuses to take off his trench coat and scarf, and the fabric is digging into Nakamaru’s skin. Uepi is already lost in his own world on Nakamaru’s other side, his back to them, as he sits motionless in the far corner.
It’s hopeless, he thinks. They’re gonna die in here for sure.
On the opposite wall, Koki nervously plays with the buttons of his shirt.
“It was an orgy,” He finally says.
Synchronizingly, Junno and Nakamaru both withdraw their legs, which at some point have come to an agreement to tangle together in the middle of the floor for comfortableness’ sake, being the only two members who actually have some length to boost.
Kazuya leans away, and they all (including Koki) feel suddenly violated.
1:50PM
Koki, after being stopped at his second attempt to take his jeans off, offers a thought.
“Do you think there’s a ventilation door on the ceiling? They always have one in the movies.”
They all look up and realize that Japanese engineers don’t watch American action movies like some Japanese idols do.
Koki pouts.
“I’ve seen this once…”
“You already said it, Koki.” Nakamaru pinches the bridge of his nose. He can feel despair dripping into his soul from a cold, heartless syringe named scumbag elevator. Of all the misfortunes he has endured, is this really the one that will be endgame for him? What if he takes out his gun and starts shooting at the door, will it bulge?
Will the bullets stray and hit the others instead?
Koki shakes his head, which is resting on top of his curled knees.
“I mean other movies, Yuichi. Gosh, do you always only think of porn?”
Four pairs of eyes stare at him.
1:52PM
Junno twirls a lock of his hair around his finger. He’s very quiet, and he’s very bored.
He can smell the sweat starting to pour from his band mates; some come from worry and panic attacks, some from the seemingly increasing temperature, and Kazuya’s now very strange scent of cologne, who probably won’t take off his scarf even in death.
Junno misses his Begonosuke 4.0. He sniffs, and sags against the wall. The elevator creaks slightly.
Kazuya has now joined Uepi, and they’re both facing away from NTT, staring into the corner of the elevator wordlessly.
Junno looks to his left. Koki is curled up into a tossled hair-ball, and he’s murmuring to himself about “elevator monster” or something. Junno sits down with him, his partner in crime, who looks up at him with big, woeful eyes. On his right, Nakamaru-kun has crawled over, sighing heavily as he bangs his head on the wall repeatedly.
Junno smiles. At least they are together once more, enduring till the end of eternity, which Junno honestly hopes involves an elevator repairman.
1:54PM
“I’m sorry I called you old,” Kazuya offers.
Nakamaru nods. Times like these really bring out the good sides of people, as they reunite and let go of all old grudges.
“I’m sorry I blamed your fat for our demise. You’re chubby, but not that chubby.”
1:55PM
It ends in a quick, brutal moment. Kame breaks out of the pile of them and starts tearing at his shirt.
“I can’t take this music anymore!!” He screams in between sobs.
-
When the repairman opens the door, he’s very puzzled to find five young, sweating men piling up against each other; one of them is only wearing his boxers.
All of them are in the midst of quietly sobbing.
Later, Junno figures the vital life lesson one shall never forget: You never walk into the elevator with two or more members of KAT-TUN (ever, again). If you do, hightail the hell out of there before it traumatizes you for life.
3:00PM
In NEWS’ dressing room, Massu sheds a tear.