(no subject)
100 ways
parts 34-38
by Elise
buffalo Sabres, Philly Flyers
ryan Miller/Brian Campbell
ryan/Danny Briere
Danny Briere/Alexandre picard
Ryan Miller/ SURPRISE
34. Not Enough
Brian woke up, eyes blinking into the morning sunlight. He cringed, shutting them, a headache forming. He laid there and did a mental check list. His muscles ached and his stomach was queasy. Licking his lips, Brian noted his dry mouth. He must have been quite drunk last night. Sitting up slowly, Brian walked to the bathroom, taking a shower. He felt a little better afterwards, or at the very least, more awake. The smell of breakfast met with Brian and he grabbed his stomach, simultaneously hungry and nauseated. Walking to the kitchen in only a towel, Brian said, “Max, you didn’t have to do this. I’m going to throw it up anyway.”
“I most definitely don’t miss the kind of morning that you’re having.” Ryan said.
Brian’s head snapped up and he saw Ryan, stone faced and silent, making some omelettes. The goalie had on one of Brian’s sister’s aprons that she had given him. Brian smirked for a moment, noting that Ryan looked cute. “Cat got your tongue, Bri?” Ryan said, walking to the table and serving himself the omelette.
Brian moved further into the kitchen, “When did you get here?”
“After Maxim dropped you off. He gave me a call, told me to watch you and remember.” Ryan trailed off a bit and said, “It’s shitty being on the other end.”
“I don’t remember last night.” Brian admitted.
Ryan looked up, his eyes sad, “Yeah... yeah it wasn’t pretty.”
“Danny didn’t mind you running over like this?” Brian said, trying to get the pressure off himself, and onto someone else.
Ryan sighed, grabbing an egg and cracking it in the pan. “No, I got a permission slip before taking care of your mess.” He retorted.
Brian rolled his eyes and moved to sit at his kitchen table. There was a pile of untouched mail, and things looked a bit dusty. He hadn’t been home in a long time. Brian grabbed some toast that Ryan had made. “So... what, am I going to get a lecture now?”
Ryan flipped his egg. He turned and said quietly, “Why are you being such an asshole?”
Brian’s jaw dropped open, “I am not.”
“You so are.” Ryan placed his egg onto his plate and sat down, getting ready to eat.
“I think I have a right to go out every now and then.” Brian said, “I’m a grown man and don’t need permission.”
“I was referring to Danny, but since you brought it up, yeah, last night was fucked up.” Ryan said, “You were fucked up.”
“I’m not an alcoholic like...” Brian paused and cleared his throat, “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Ryan put his head down and said quietly, his voice controlled, “I’m an alcoholic, you’re right. You can drink. That’s ok. But you shouldn’t get drunk because you’re jealous of Danny.”
“I’m not jealous.” Brian said, “I’m frustrated and afraid that he’s going to hurt you again.”
“He’s not going to take me away.” Ryan said, getting to the source of the problem, “I’m staying.”
“That’s not what I said.” Brian let out a frustrated growl, “Why don’t you listen to me?”
“What is your problem, Brian? Tell me.” Ryan said, “Why are you acting like this?”
Brian shook his head, his stomach flipping again. He stood up and went to his medicine cupboard, grabbing some aspirin and water. “I need a break.”
Ryan stopped entirely. His whole body froze. “What do you mean...”
“I mean, I think we shouldn’t see each other for a bit. You’re clearly not over Danny, and I can’t compete.” Brian sipped his water, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Ryan stood up, leaving his dishes, “Why don’t you say the real reason, Bri? This has nothing to do with my feelings for Danny, it has to do with you struggling to deal with me.”
“I am not struggling.” Brian said.
“Fine. Have it your way.” Ryan left the kitchen, “I’ll see you in practice.”
Brian turned to the kitchen sink and hit it with his hand, swearing loudly. He was an idiot.
35. Sixth Sense
Brian skated around the rink. He had blocked out some time, renting the rink for himself. The air was cool in his chest, and his body ached from staying awake the night prior. He ignored it, his mind elsewhere. When Brian had gotten home to find Ryan and Daniel in the kitchen, his brain had flatlined. Looking at his feet, Brian wondered when he’d ever be good enough for the young goalie. Daniel was smooth, and accomplished. He had experience and a family. Brian looked at himself as an ugly, inadequate boy next to Ryan’s personal hero.
It had been a rough few weeks for him. Brian loved Ryan, that was obvious, but it was also tiring. Ryan’s recovery was a rough one, hospital visits aside. They still haven’t reached the center of Ryan’s problems. He wasn’t born addicted to alcohol, he learned it. He used it to escape something. Brian kicked the boards.
He slowed down his skate, hand trailing to his stomach. It was twisting and he knew Ryan was stuck in his home, numb. He trusted Ryan, he did. He knew Danny was still in the house. Ryan forgave too easily. Brian gripped his tshirt. Ryan needed him right now, he had a feeling, and instead he was off thinking selfishly. He knew that taking care of himself was important. If an athlete didn’t eat or exercise correctly, they would suffer in all areas. Brian spun a few times and pulled out his phone.
Ryan rolled over in bed. He covered his face and sighed. Getting out of bed, he made his way downstairs. Danny was sitting on the couch. He looked up as Ryan came in. “Hey...”
“Mornin.” Ryan yawned.
“So... you going to call him?” Danny said, looking Ryan in the eye.
Ryan scrunched his face up and made his way to the kitchen. Danny rolled his eyes and followed. “Listen, ok? I’ve never seen you like this. Not with me, not with anyone.”
“Danny... I cannot take love advice from an exboyfriend, ok? Especially an exboyfriend I only just forgave less than 72 hours ago.” Ryan said, “Thanks for trying to help.”
“You helped me, let me help you.” Danny tried again.
Ryan gave Danny a pointed look, “I did not have to help you with Alexandre, your petit chou chou.”
Danny’s face flushed, “I do not say that.”
Ryan started laughing, “You totally do.”
“Besides, I don’t even know if Picard likes me. He’s such a hard ass.” Daniel shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, “Then why does he call you all the time? Or the fact that he convinced you to come back here and tie things up?”
“How did you...?” Daniel said, eyebrows creased.
Sitting down with a sigh, Ryan said, “Because I know you, and I know that you were willing to be an ass to get me mad at you and disregard you for the rest of your life. You wanted me to cut it off. I was going to. I was ready to never speak to you again.”
Danny moved towards the fridge, “Ok fine, yea it’s easier that way.”
“Chicken shit.” Ryan retorted.
“Hey, have you called Campbell yet?” Daniel shot back.
Ryan flicked him off. “No, and I’m not going to.”
“You should.”
“why? So he can be jealous and awful again?” Ryan sighed, “I mean, can’t he just get over it?”
“Right,” Daniel said, “You forgot to tell your boyfriend that your exboyfriend was staying for the weekend. I’m sure he’ll get on that.”
Ryan rested his head on his hand, “I don’t know. I just... I can’t do this without him. I need him.”
“The alcohol issue?” Danny said quietly.
Ryan looked at Danny and nodded. Danny shrugged, “You can do it. Just call him.”
Ryan bit his lips and grabbed his stomach. His fingers balled his tshirt. He had this feeling in his stomach, that Brian was off somewhere, letting off some steam. He was isolated, not asking for help, like usual. Ryan felt the guilt twist. He should be helping Brian, not driving him insane. Danny stood up and said, “Ok, how about this... If I call Alexandre and ask him on a date, will you call Campbell?”
Ryan stood up and shook his head, “I just... I can’t. I’m nervous.”
“Think about it?” Danny said, more confident and comfortable as a friend than as Ryan’s lover.
“I’ll think about it. You still should call your petit chou chou.” Ryan said.
Danny frowned at Ryan, a slight glare in his eyes. Ryan laughed and took out his phone.
Max smiled as the masseuse worked out some of his knots. His phone began to buzz and he picked it up. He grinned, seeing that both Ryan and Brian had texted him, telling him to check up on the other to see if they were ok. Maxim shut his phone off and then shut his eyes. They’d be back together in no time. Hopefully.
36. Smell
Ryan walked into the dressing room, cracking his neck. He walked to his locker, scrunching his nose. It smelled pretty bad. Looking around, he noticed that some of the players weren’t making eye contact with him. Ryan shut his eyes and sat down, lifting up some of his knee pads. “Fuck...” he muttered under his breath.
Sticking to the bottom of his knee pads were eggs, and not just any eggs, but days old eggs. Shoving them back down, Ryan stood up, angry. “What the hell is this about?”
The team looked up. Jaro looked over, grimacing. “That’s what that awful smell was... what did you do that for?”
Ryan’s jaw dropped, “I didn’t do it, asshole. Who did this?”
No one spoke up and Ryan threw his knee pads down. “Fuck... It leaked into the pads... fuck whoever did this.”
Ryan stood up and began to walk towards the exit, to see Lindy. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Drew Stafford was smiling. Ryan paused, the back of his neck prickling. He turned, walking towards the forward. Ryan knew that Drew had a good forty pounds on him, but he shoved him anyway. Ryan was not in the mood today. He was testy and sleep deprived. He missed Brian and it was making him snappier than usual.
At the sound of contact, the team stood up, voicing their concerns. Ryan’s fingers gripped Drew’s shirt. “What the fuck are you thinking?”
Drew pushed Ryan off of him. “I didn’t do anything. Why are you going after me?”
“I could ask you the same.” Ryan hissed, swinging at him, but his arm was stopped.
Ryan looked back, seeing Jaro holding his arm. “Stop it, Ryan.”
Drew got into Ryan’s face at this point and said, “Why don’t you just go home, Ryan. You’re not much use here. You have a lot of nerve doing what you just did.”
“Nerve? You want to talk about nerve?” Ryan hissed out, eyes glaring, shooting daggers.
Drew hissed, “Yeah, let’s talk about nerve. Hows Briere?”
Brian had remained in the background during the entire incident. He stayed away from the conflict, focusing on dressing. He heard the statement and yelled out, “Cool it, guys, and get on the ice.”
Ryan jerked Jaro off of him and stormed from the lockerroom. Drew called after him, “Go ahead, go run to Lindy who lets you do anything poor Ryan wants.”
“Shut it, Stafford.” Jaro said, “Don’t disrespect him like that.”
Drew lowered his voice and said to Jaro, “Maybe he shouldn’t disrespect Brian, Spacek.”
Jaro sighed and returned to his locker, the team now tense.
37. Sound
Ryan angrily paced his house. Jason Pominville watched, hand over his mouth. “Listen,” Jason said from his seat on the couch, “Why don’t you just sit down, ok?”
“Why is the team splitting over this? It never should have happened.” Ryan whispered, “Whose business is it anyway?”
“No one’s.” Jason said softly, “You don’t deserve any of this crap. You’ve worked too hard to let this get to you.”
Ryan stopped pacing and nodded, “It just makes it so difficult. The entire world knows I’m an alcoholic, and now there’s no one to run to. I don’t need Stafford and his goons to be messing with me.”
“If it makes you feel better, Brian’s jock strap was frozen this morning by someone.” Jason smiled, trying to look into Ryan’s face.
Shaking his head, Ryan said, “He doesn’t deserve it either. I mean, its funny, but he doesn’t deserve it.”
Standing up, Jason walked to Ryan, placing his hands on the other’s hips. “Ok, so heres what you’re going to do. Continue on with meetings, keep working on the fashion show for Steadfast, and relax. You’ve got a week left of being benched. It’s time to relax.”
“I can’t.” Ryan said, “I’m mixed up.”
Jason began to rub small circles in Ryan’s sides. “Let me help you.”
Eyes widening, Ryan began to feel uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and looked down, “Listen... Jay... I’m still with Brian.”
“No, you’re not.” Jason said, “You’re a free man. You need someone to help you out. I’m not looking for anything more. No pressure.”
“I can’t...” Ryan bit his lip and looked into Jason’s face. The forward’s eyes were full of lust and he shivered.
Jason reached up, sweeping Ryan’s bangs aside. “There’s nothing wrong with two friends finding comfort in each other.”
Ryan leaned into the touch as Jason gently cupped Ryan’s face. Jason lightly brushed his lips across Ryan’s. Ryan opened his mouth in surprise, then more surprisingly began to kiss back. Jason took the lead, aggressively pulling Ryan to him, walking back towards the couch. Despite his nerves and his conscience telling him not to, Ryan slid his hands beneath Jason’s shirt and moaned into the kiss. “That’s right...” Jason whispered huskily, “Come and relax...”
“Jason.. what about...” Ryan began to protest again.
“Shh... it’ll be our secret, if you want. Just loosen up...” Jason trailed a hand down Ryan’s chest, fingers dipping below his pants.
Ryan arched his back and nodded, sliding his shirt off.
Brian’s hand rested firmly against Ryan’s door. His eyes were shut, and tears were leaking out. He heard everything, and recognized the voices. Clenching his fists, Brian turned away, returning to his car, heart broken.
38. Touch
Ryan was allowed into practice that day. The pranks were temporarily shelved for the day, after Lindy threatened fines and suspension. Ryan started his regular ritual by circling the rink. They were going to start off with a mock game. Thibault was already at the other end, stretching. Ryan turned, nodding at Jason and Spacek, who were talking in the corner. Immediately feeling nervous, Ryan skated a bit faster, trying to calm himself. The team dynamic was still tense, and Ryan was still hating himself over what he had done the night prior. Suddenly, Ryan felt his body slam into the boards, his breath leaving him. He looked up, shocked. Brian skated away, with a flippant apology. Standing up, Ryan watched as Stafford patted Brian on the back. Ryan’s eyebrows creased and his stomach felt like it was going to burst. Brian knew.
Before Ryan could retaliate, Lindy blew his whistle, yelling for everyone to get to their places. “Alright, guys, I want you to play like its the playoffs. Each one of you have something to work on, and the team needs to work on being a team. SO play this game with that in mind.”
Ryan skated to his goal, being stopped by Jaro. Ryan looked up, “What?”
“I saw what Campbell did.” Spacek said, “I’m sorry... did something happen between you two more than the break up?”
“We were never together.” Ryan said bitterly, “So there’s no break up.”
“Fine.” Jaro said, a bit annoyed, “The question still stands.”
“You don’t know?” Ryan said, whispering, his eye catching Jason’s.
“Would I ask? Stop messing with me.” Jaro said, exasperated.
Ryan looked sad and shook his head, “I made a big mistake and I think he found out. Let’s just play, ok?”
Jaro nodded, skating to his position. The game began and he watched as Maxim took the puck immediately, skating faster than he should. It wasn’t before long that the puck was in his territory, his eyes following the puck. Maxim passed it to Connelly, who passed it back. Ryan caught the puck after Maxim’s slapshot. He let it go, but it was picked up by Connelly again. Ryan watched as he listened to his team mates try to get possession of the puck back. Connelly set up another shot but Ryan felt an impact on his side, the puck that he normally would have caught, flying into the net. Lindy blew his whistle and Ryan didn’t even have to look up to see that it was Brian. Brian yelled out, “Sorry, coach, I slipped.”
“What the hell are you doing? If you did that during a game, I’d throw you out!” Lindy yelled.
Brian skated off and Ryan stood up, shaking his head. Jaro glared and yelled, “Don’t hold back. Play for blood.”
Lindy rolled his eyes and sat down, asking himself why he even showed up some days.
a/n: I've got a bad case of writers block and I'm moving houses this week...so don't expect another update for a bit! Sorry!! I love you guys and I hope you're not TOO angry at me for the past chapters.
parts 34-38
by Elise
buffalo Sabres, Philly Flyers
ryan Miller/Brian Campbell
ryan/Danny Briere
Danny Briere/Alexandre picard
Ryan Miller/ SURPRISE
34. Not Enough
Brian woke up, eyes blinking into the morning sunlight. He cringed, shutting them, a headache forming. He laid there and did a mental check list. His muscles ached and his stomach was queasy. Licking his lips, Brian noted his dry mouth. He must have been quite drunk last night. Sitting up slowly, Brian walked to the bathroom, taking a shower. He felt a little better afterwards, or at the very least, more awake. The smell of breakfast met with Brian and he grabbed his stomach, simultaneously hungry and nauseated. Walking to the kitchen in only a towel, Brian said, “Max, you didn’t have to do this. I’m going to throw it up anyway.”
“I most definitely don’t miss the kind of morning that you’re having.” Ryan said.
Brian’s head snapped up and he saw Ryan, stone faced and silent, making some omelettes. The goalie had on one of Brian’s sister’s aprons that she had given him. Brian smirked for a moment, noting that Ryan looked cute. “Cat got your tongue, Bri?” Ryan said, walking to the table and serving himself the omelette.
Brian moved further into the kitchen, “When did you get here?”
“After Maxim dropped you off. He gave me a call, told me to watch you and remember.” Ryan trailed off a bit and said, “It’s shitty being on the other end.”
“I don’t remember last night.” Brian admitted.
Ryan looked up, his eyes sad, “Yeah... yeah it wasn’t pretty.”
“Danny didn’t mind you running over like this?” Brian said, trying to get the pressure off himself, and onto someone else.
Ryan sighed, grabbing an egg and cracking it in the pan. “No, I got a permission slip before taking care of your mess.” He retorted.
Brian rolled his eyes and moved to sit at his kitchen table. There was a pile of untouched mail, and things looked a bit dusty. He hadn’t been home in a long time. Brian grabbed some toast that Ryan had made. “So... what, am I going to get a lecture now?”
Ryan flipped his egg. He turned and said quietly, “Why are you being such an asshole?”
Brian’s jaw dropped open, “I am not.”
“You so are.” Ryan placed his egg onto his plate and sat down, getting ready to eat.
“I think I have a right to go out every now and then.” Brian said, “I’m a grown man and don’t need permission.”
“I was referring to Danny, but since you brought it up, yeah, last night was fucked up.” Ryan said, “You were fucked up.”
“I’m not an alcoholic like...” Brian paused and cleared his throat, “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Ryan put his head down and said quietly, his voice controlled, “I’m an alcoholic, you’re right. You can drink. That’s ok. But you shouldn’t get drunk because you’re jealous of Danny.”
“I’m not jealous.” Brian said, “I’m frustrated and afraid that he’s going to hurt you again.”
“He’s not going to take me away.” Ryan said, getting to the source of the problem, “I’m staying.”
“That’s not what I said.” Brian let out a frustrated growl, “Why don’t you listen to me?”
“What is your problem, Brian? Tell me.” Ryan said, “Why are you acting like this?”
Brian shook his head, his stomach flipping again. He stood up and went to his medicine cupboard, grabbing some aspirin and water. “I need a break.”
Ryan stopped entirely. His whole body froze. “What do you mean...”
“I mean, I think we shouldn’t see each other for a bit. You’re clearly not over Danny, and I can’t compete.” Brian sipped his water, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Ryan stood up, leaving his dishes, “Why don’t you say the real reason, Bri? This has nothing to do with my feelings for Danny, it has to do with you struggling to deal with me.”
“I am not struggling.” Brian said.
“Fine. Have it your way.” Ryan left the kitchen, “I’ll see you in practice.”
Brian turned to the kitchen sink and hit it with his hand, swearing loudly. He was an idiot.
35. Sixth Sense
Brian skated around the rink. He had blocked out some time, renting the rink for himself. The air was cool in his chest, and his body ached from staying awake the night prior. He ignored it, his mind elsewhere. When Brian had gotten home to find Ryan and Daniel in the kitchen, his brain had flatlined. Looking at his feet, Brian wondered when he’d ever be good enough for the young goalie. Daniel was smooth, and accomplished. He had experience and a family. Brian looked at himself as an ugly, inadequate boy next to Ryan’s personal hero.
It had been a rough few weeks for him. Brian loved Ryan, that was obvious, but it was also tiring. Ryan’s recovery was a rough one, hospital visits aside. They still haven’t reached the center of Ryan’s problems. He wasn’t born addicted to alcohol, he learned it. He used it to escape something. Brian kicked the boards.
He slowed down his skate, hand trailing to his stomach. It was twisting and he knew Ryan was stuck in his home, numb. He trusted Ryan, he did. He knew Danny was still in the house. Ryan forgave too easily. Brian gripped his tshirt. Ryan needed him right now, he had a feeling, and instead he was off thinking selfishly. He knew that taking care of himself was important. If an athlete didn’t eat or exercise correctly, they would suffer in all areas. Brian spun a few times and pulled out his phone.
Ryan rolled over in bed. He covered his face and sighed. Getting out of bed, he made his way downstairs. Danny was sitting on the couch. He looked up as Ryan came in. “Hey...”
“Mornin.” Ryan yawned.
“So... you going to call him?” Danny said, looking Ryan in the eye.
Ryan scrunched his face up and made his way to the kitchen. Danny rolled his eyes and followed. “Listen, ok? I’ve never seen you like this. Not with me, not with anyone.”
“Danny... I cannot take love advice from an exboyfriend, ok? Especially an exboyfriend I only just forgave less than 72 hours ago.” Ryan said, “Thanks for trying to help.”
“You helped me, let me help you.” Danny tried again.
Ryan gave Danny a pointed look, “I did not have to help you with Alexandre, your petit chou chou.”
Danny’s face flushed, “I do not say that.”
Ryan started laughing, “You totally do.”
“Besides, I don’t even know if Picard likes me. He’s such a hard ass.” Daniel shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, “Then why does he call you all the time? Or the fact that he convinced you to come back here and tie things up?”
“How did you...?” Daniel said, eyebrows creased.
Sitting down with a sigh, Ryan said, “Because I know you, and I know that you were willing to be an ass to get me mad at you and disregard you for the rest of your life. You wanted me to cut it off. I was going to. I was ready to never speak to you again.”
Danny moved towards the fridge, “Ok fine, yea it’s easier that way.”
“Chicken shit.” Ryan retorted.
“Hey, have you called Campbell yet?” Daniel shot back.
Ryan flicked him off. “No, and I’m not going to.”
“You should.”
“why? So he can be jealous and awful again?” Ryan sighed, “I mean, can’t he just get over it?”
“Right,” Daniel said, “You forgot to tell your boyfriend that your exboyfriend was staying for the weekend. I’m sure he’ll get on that.”
Ryan rested his head on his hand, “I don’t know. I just... I can’t do this without him. I need him.”
“The alcohol issue?” Danny said quietly.
Ryan looked at Danny and nodded. Danny shrugged, “You can do it. Just call him.”
Ryan bit his lips and grabbed his stomach. His fingers balled his tshirt. He had this feeling in his stomach, that Brian was off somewhere, letting off some steam. He was isolated, not asking for help, like usual. Ryan felt the guilt twist. He should be helping Brian, not driving him insane. Danny stood up and said, “Ok, how about this... If I call Alexandre and ask him on a date, will you call Campbell?”
Ryan stood up and shook his head, “I just... I can’t. I’m nervous.”
“Think about it?” Danny said, more confident and comfortable as a friend than as Ryan’s lover.
“I’ll think about it. You still should call your petit chou chou.” Ryan said.
Danny frowned at Ryan, a slight glare in his eyes. Ryan laughed and took out his phone.
Max smiled as the masseuse worked out some of his knots. His phone began to buzz and he picked it up. He grinned, seeing that both Ryan and Brian had texted him, telling him to check up on the other to see if they were ok. Maxim shut his phone off and then shut his eyes. They’d be back together in no time. Hopefully.
36. Smell
Ryan walked into the dressing room, cracking his neck. He walked to his locker, scrunching his nose. It smelled pretty bad. Looking around, he noticed that some of the players weren’t making eye contact with him. Ryan shut his eyes and sat down, lifting up some of his knee pads. “Fuck...” he muttered under his breath.
Sticking to the bottom of his knee pads were eggs, and not just any eggs, but days old eggs. Shoving them back down, Ryan stood up, angry. “What the hell is this about?”
The team looked up. Jaro looked over, grimacing. “That’s what that awful smell was... what did you do that for?”
Ryan’s jaw dropped, “I didn’t do it, asshole. Who did this?”
No one spoke up and Ryan threw his knee pads down. “Fuck... It leaked into the pads... fuck whoever did this.”
Ryan stood up and began to walk towards the exit, to see Lindy. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Drew Stafford was smiling. Ryan paused, the back of his neck prickling. He turned, walking towards the forward. Ryan knew that Drew had a good forty pounds on him, but he shoved him anyway. Ryan was not in the mood today. He was testy and sleep deprived. He missed Brian and it was making him snappier than usual.
At the sound of contact, the team stood up, voicing their concerns. Ryan’s fingers gripped Drew’s shirt. “What the fuck are you thinking?”
Drew pushed Ryan off of him. “I didn’t do anything. Why are you going after me?”
“I could ask you the same.” Ryan hissed, swinging at him, but his arm was stopped.
Ryan looked back, seeing Jaro holding his arm. “Stop it, Ryan.”
Drew got into Ryan’s face at this point and said, “Why don’t you just go home, Ryan. You’re not much use here. You have a lot of nerve doing what you just did.”
“Nerve? You want to talk about nerve?” Ryan hissed out, eyes glaring, shooting daggers.
Drew hissed, “Yeah, let’s talk about nerve. Hows Briere?”
Brian had remained in the background during the entire incident. He stayed away from the conflict, focusing on dressing. He heard the statement and yelled out, “Cool it, guys, and get on the ice.”
Ryan jerked Jaro off of him and stormed from the lockerroom. Drew called after him, “Go ahead, go run to Lindy who lets you do anything poor Ryan wants.”
“Shut it, Stafford.” Jaro said, “Don’t disrespect him like that.”
Drew lowered his voice and said to Jaro, “Maybe he shouldn’t disrespect Brian, Spacek.”
Jaro sighed and returned to his locker, the team now tense.
37. Sound
Ryan angrily paced his house. Jason Pominville watched, hand over his mouth. “Listen,” Jason said from his seat on the couch, “Why don’t you just sit down, ok?”
“Why is the team splitting over this? It never should have happened.” Ryan whispered, “Whose business is it anyway?”
“No one’s.” Jason said softly, “You don’t deserve any of this crap. You’ve worked too hard to let this get to you.”
Ryan stopped pacing and nodded, “It just makes it so difficult. The entire world knows I’m an alcoholic, and now there’s no one to run to. I don’t need Stafford and his goons to be messing with me.”
“If it makes you feel better, Brian’s jock strap was frozen this morning by someone.” Jason smiled, trying to look into Ryan’s face.
Shaking his head, Ryan said, “He doesn’t deserve it either. I mean, its funny, but he doesn’t deserve it.”
Standing up, Jason walked to Ryan, placing his hands on the other’s hips. “Ok, so heres what you’re going to do. Continue on with meetings, keep working on the fashion show for Steadfast, and relax. You’ve got a week left of being benched. It’s time to relax.”
“I can’t.” Ryan said, “I’m mixed up.”
Jason began to rub small circles in Ryan’s sides. “Let me help you.”
Eyes widening, Ryan began to feel uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and looked down, “Listen... Jay... I’m still with Brian.”
“No, you’re not.” Jason said, “You’re a free man. You need someone to help you out. I’m not looking for anything more. No pressure.”
“I can’t...” Ryan bit his lip and looked into Jason’s face. The forward’s eyes were full of lust and he shivered.
Jason reached up, sweeping Ryan’s bangs aside. “There’s nothing wrong with two friends finding comfort in each other.”
Ryan leaned into the touch as Jason gently cupped Ryan’s face. Jason lightly brushed his lips across Ryan’s. Ryan opened his mouth in surprise, then more surprisingly began to kiss back. Jason took the lead, aggressively pulling Ryan to him, walking back towards the couch. Despite his nerves and his conscience telling him not to, Ryan slid his hands beneath Jason’s shirt and moaned into the kiss. “That’s right...” Jason whispered huskily, “Come and relax...”
“Jason.. what about...” Ryan began to protest again.
“Shh... it’ll be our secret, if you want. Just loosen up...” Jason trailed a hand down Ryan’s chest, fingers dipping below his pants.
Ryan arched his back and nodded, sliding his shirt off.
Brian’s hand rested firmly against Ryan’s door. His eyes were shut, and tears were leaking out. He heard everything, and recognized the voices. Clenching his fists, Brian turned away, returning to his car, heart broken.
38. Touch
Ryan was allowed into practice that day. The pranks were temporarily shelved for the day, after Lindy threatened fines and suspension. Ryan started his regular ritual by circling the rink. They were going to start off with a mock game. Thibault was already at the other end, stretching. Ryan turned, nodding at Jason and Spacek, who were talking in the corner. Immediately feeling nervous, Ryan skated a bit faster, trying to calm himself. The team dynamic was still tense, and Ryan was still hating himself over what he had done the night prior. Suddenly, Ryan felt his body slam into the boards, his breath leaving him. He looked up, shocked. Brian skated away, with a flippant apology. Standing up, Ryan watched as Stafford patted Brian on the back. Ryan’s eyebrows creased and his stomach felt like it was going to burst. Brian knew.
Before Ryan could retaliate, Lindy blew his whistle, yelling for everyone to get to their places. “Alright, guys, I want you to play like its the playoffs. Each one of you have something to work on, and the team needs to work on being a team. SO play this game with that in mind.”
Ryan skated to his goal, being stopped by Jaro. Ryan looked up, “What?”
“I saw what Campbell did.” Spacek said, “I’m sorry... did something happen between you two more than the break up?”
“We were never together.” Ryan said bitterly, “So there’s no break up.”
“Fine.” Jaro said, a bit annoyed, “The question still stands.”
“You don’t know?” Ryan said, whispering, his eye catching Jason’s.
“Would I ask? Stop messing with me.” Jaro said, exasperated.
Ryan looked sad and shook his head, “I made a big mistake and I think he found out. Let’s just play, ok?”
Jaro nodded, skating to his position. The game began and he watched as Maxim took the puck immediately, skating faster than he should. It wasn’t before long that the puck was in his territory, his eyes following the puck. Maxim passed it to Connelly, who passed it back. Ryan caught the puck after Maxim’s slapshot. He let it go, but it was picked up by Connelly again. Ryan watched as he listened to his team mates try to get possession of the puck back. Connelly set up another shot but Ryan felt an impact on his side, the puck that he normally would have caught, flying into the net. Lindy blew his whistle and Ryan didn’t even have to look up to see that it was Brian. Brian yelled out, “Sorry, coach, I slipped.”
“What the hell are you doing? If you did that during a game, I’d throw you out!” Lindy yelled.
Brian skated off and Ryan stood up, shaking his head. Jaro glared and yelled, “Don’t hold back. Play for blood.”
Lindy rolled his eyes and sat down, asking himself why he even showed up some days.
a/n: I've got a bad case of writers block and I'm moving houses this week...so don't expect another update for a bit! Sorry!! I love you guys and I hope you're not TOO angry at me for the past chapters.