(no subject)
100 ways
by Elise
parts 29-32
Buffalo Sabres
Ryan Miller/Brian Campbell
29. Birth
Ryan rolled his eyes, holding the styrofoam cup full of bitter coffee. It was exactly like the movies. Sitting down, Ryan noted a few people talking and looking at him. There were a few sparks of recognition. Ryan’s face flushed red and he looked down. A woman next to him cleared her throat, quietly saying, “Hey, don’t mind them any. We should be used to celebrities by now.”
Ryan shrugged. “I’m not a celebrity. Just a guy.”
“With a problem. Like them. We’re no different.” She smiled, sitting back.
Ryan watched her and nodded. A man walked into the room, and everyone seemed to quiet down. He walked to the front and smiled, “Hello everyone! Some new faces, some familiar. Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous. How is everyone?”
There were a few murmurs and responses. Ryan remained quiet. The man smiled and said, “I’m Evan, for the new people. First off, it took a lot of strength to get here, so how about everyone give each other a round of applause?”
Ryan remained still watching as everyone began clapping. The woman next to him jabbed him in the side. Giving her a look, Ryan clapped. Evan smiled and Ryan wanted to wipe the smirk off the man’s face. Ryan felt that he would be better in practice, not a meeting. “Great, folks, great,” Evan said, “Alright, how about a round of introductions before we get to talking?”
The group nodded and one by one they introduced themselves. Ryan’s palms began to sweat as it was soon his turn. Once it was, he stood up and raised his coffee in a mock salute. “I’m Ryan Miller. I’m new.”
“Welcome Ryan.” Evan said, the group repeating him.
Ryan smiled weakly. “Thanks.”
“Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?” Evan prodded.
“Oh... there’s nothing to tell. Maybe later.” Ryan looked at his feet.
“You’re safe to speak here, Ryan, we all support you.”
Ryan nodded, “Well... I play hockey for a living and... And I have my own charity. I like music.”
“Why are you here?” Evan said, “You sound pretty accomplished.”
Ryan fidgetted, “Because... because I’m an alcoholic. I can’t necessarily handle the stress... in fact...” Ryan sighed, “I’m.. not good at much of anything.”
The group looked at each other, Ryan recieving some raised eyebrows. He ran a hand through his hair and said, “Can I sit now?”
“Sure, Sure,” Evan said, “IT takes a lot for you to admit that.”
The group immediately appploaded, the woman to Ryan’s right patting him on the leg. Ryan’s eyes burned with embarassment. Evan continued, “Did everyone see that? It was incredible. RYan admitted something very important. That is the first step. There is no shame in this.”
Ryan nodded as he listened to Evan’s words. “Those who take the first step,” Evan said, “Are reborn. It is a birth. You have recieved life.”
Ryan lifted his head, Evan’s words sinking in. He smiled lightly. He’d like that. He’s like that a lot.
30. Death
Buffalonews.com/blog
Before we jump on the Sabres for playing poorly the past few games - lets discuss the true reason behind their difficulties. One might think that its the loss of the captains, or the fact that we’ve had some injuries. Or maybe the team is not working as a team but as a group of individuals? Maybe these are all the reasons behind a certain All-star goalie’s alcoholism. That’s right folks, you heard it from me. Our sources say that Ryan Miller, star goalie of the Buffalo Sabres, has a drinking problem. Now, drinking problems aren’t new to hockey. Yet Lindy Ruff has let this one run wild. Our sources say that Ryan Miller was hospitalized, getting his stomach pumped. He also has decided to go to AA. He’s missed practices and has a rocky love life. He’s been picking up girls at bars, one night stands. Ryan Miller, our golden boy, is actually a train wreck. Will a life or death situation be the only way that Miller can beat his disease? No one knows for sure. The only thing we do know is that he is a role model and should think about his destructive actions, and the Sabres are in danger of not making it to the Stanley Cup this year.
Millergirl243 responds:
Leave Ryan alone. So he drinks a lot. Who in Buffalo doesn’t?
Brian_Matthews responds:
I don’t think its any of our business what Miller does. As long as he keeps making those incredible saves, I couldn’t care less how much alcohol is in his system.
Barbara responds:
I think its a disgrace they let him play. what message is this to our children? I’ve been a school teacher for 23 years, and I’m tired of seeing my children look up to alcoholics, drug users and womanizers. Trade him and let Thibault play.
Jack_124 responds:
I never see him at bars! Hey Miller, if you read this, come on out!
Frogman responds:
It’s disgusting. Miller needs rehab for alcohol and the team needs rehab for their crap skills.
Mindy16 responds:
I love you Ryan! Even if you drink a lot!! You’ll always be my favorite sabre! I love you!
Ryan turned from the labtop and covered his face. Brian looked up from his book and said, “Ryan...? You alright?”
Shaking his head, he whispered, “I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you later, Bri.”
“Whoa...” Brian got up, walking to the goalie. “Talk to me.”
Ryan pushed Brian away and said, his voice angry. “I said, I’m going to bed.”
Brian watched Ryan go upstairs, hearing the room door slam. He walked over to the labtop, looking at the webpage that was still up. He read it through, his hand covering his mouth. “Oh, Ryan...”
31. sunrise
Ryan woke up with tears in his eyes. He turned to his window, the sun peaking over the Buffalo sky line. Standing up, he cracked his neck and moved out of his bedroom. Ryan paused, blinking a few times. Brian was curled into a ball by his door. Bending down, Ryan gently shook the man. “Bri, Bri wake up...”
Brian groggily opened his eyes. “Ryan?”
“Did you sleep there all night?” Ryan asked in disbelief.
Brian nodded sheepishly. “Your bed would’ve been more comfortable.”
Ryan nodded, and extended a hand, which Brian took. Helping Brian stand, Ryan led him to his bed, lying down. Brian laid down behind Ryan, tucking his arm around the goalie. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Too early.” Ryan said with a yawn, “Just watch the sunrise with me.”
Brian looked out the window and smiled, nodding. He pulled Ryan closer and whispered in his ear, “It’ll be ok.”
Ryan shuddered, “I don’t think it will be. Before it was my problem, now everyone knows.”
“We’ll get through it. This changes nothing.” Brian said, “You’ll still go to meetings, still work hard. I’ll still love you.”
Ryan turned in the bed, facing Brian. “All of my fears and doubts were thrown across the papers. It’s only a matter of time before it spreads further.”
Brian gently stroked Ryan’s face, leaning over to kiss him. Ryan kissed back and decided to show his thanks.
32. Sunset
Ryan raised an eyebrow, looking at Brian. He couldn’t tell if his ears were pink from the cold or from blushing. “OK, what are we doing here?”
Brian pointed at a few of the team members. They had formed a tight bond, the group. Jaro, Maxim, Thomas and Tim, standing proudly behind Brian. “We’re here to remember.”
Ryan looked down at his skates and sighed, moving back and forth. “I remember hockey. I’ve got a problem with alcohol, not memory loss.”
Maxim shrugged, “I came to play hockey.”
Shaking his head, Ryan moved towards the makeshift goal on the frozen pond. It was a good idea to find a secluded pond in Buffalo, remembering that they were playing a game, and games were fun. Tim stopped Ryan. “How about you take a break today?”
“Et tu, Connolly?” Ryan said, “I’m benched again?”
Laughing, Tim shook his head, “No, I’ve got goal.”
“You’re crap at goal.”
“There are no points to win today.” Tim said, skating off to the goal.
Ryan shook his head, a bit unsure. “Alright... I... forward?”
“Three on three.” Brian said, as he moved towards the other goal. “Connelly, first pick.”
Tim skated up behind Ryan and pulled his head in close, giving the star goalie a wet kiss on the cheek. “I got Miller.”
“Watch it, Connelly.” Brian said, laughing as Ryan wiped his face, “I’ll take Spacey.”
Spacek moved towards Brian. Maxim smiled as Tim picked him next, Thomas skating towards Brian. Brian yelled out, “So let’s forget the world, ok? Let’s play some hockey.”
Ryan looked up at Brian’s words and nodded. He focused on the puck then looked up into Thomas’ face. “You’re going down, Vanek.”
“Show me, don’t tell me.” Thomas said, laughing.
Soon, the group of friends were playing. Ryan was skating around, trying to stay near his goal. Tim came forward, pushing Ryan. “Forward, implies that you go forward.”
With a glare, Ryan took the pass from Maxim and began to skate up towards Brian’s goal. His breath was fast, and he was sweating, but Ryan hadn’t had this much fun in ages. Jaro yelled out, “Lindy!”
Ryan froze, allowing Thomas to check him into Brian, and take the puck back. Ryan looked around, eyes wide in surprise, to see his friends laughing hysterically. “Haha,” Ryan said sourly, “Very funny.”
“It was.” Jaro said, holding onto his knees for balance from his laughter.
Tim looked away, biting a grin and Brian shrugged, smiling. Ryan threw his stick down and raced towards Jaro, leaping onto him. The two wrestled for a bit before breaking it up. Jaro, still laughing, said, “You don’t think Brian will be jealous, would you?”
Shoving him back down, Ryan grabbed his stick. “Again!”
Brian grinned and watched as Ryan laughed and smiled genuinely. This was a good idea. The boys played until sunset, before heading in for hot cocoa and dinner.
33. Too Much
Brian crossed his arms, glaring. His eyes were dark and full of distrust. Tapping his foot, Brian noted that his insides were twisting a bit, anxious. “Ryan.” He said.
Ryan looked up, nervous, then placed his hands up, “Let me explain.”
“I’ve heard that one before.” Brian said, “What the hell is he doing in our kitchen?”
“We’re patching things up.” Ryan said, “We’re resolving the past. It’s part... it’s part of the process, and its something I need to do.”
“Patching things up?” Brian said, “So step seven is invite your abuser into the house and serve him coffee?”
Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair, “He did not abuse me. Brian, don’t do this, you said you would help me.”
“Help you beat your disease, not help you fall into another one of his traps.” Brian pointed at the kitchen, “Don’t you see what he’s doing?”
“Brian, Danny and I are through. We’re just talking.” Ryan stood tall, trying to get Brian to see some reason, “Would you please just remember the good times and sit with me? Talk to him like a normal human being.”
“How can you?” Brian said, “He treated you so poorly.”
“Yeah, I know.” Ryan said seriously, “And we’re talking about it, because we’re adults. Please... remember that he used to be your captain. Come sit with us.”
Brian looked away, his face showing his hurt and frustration. He nodded, “Fine, it’s not like my opinion matters anyway.”
“That’s not fair.” Ryan said.
“No, what’s not fair is that no matter what I do, or how much I show you that I love you, he always comes back and everything is fine and dandy. Danny can get your heart in the snap of his fingers. I have to climb mountains.” Brian wanted to keep quiet, he wanted to keep his fears to himself. The words just kept spilling out, and he knew he was taking it out on Danny and Ryan.
“Why are you doing this? I love you, not him. I shouldn’t have to prove it.” Ryan retorted.
“Fine. Enjoy your talk with Danny. I have to go.” Brian turned, grabbing his jacket.
“Don’t leave, Bri, please.” Ryan said, “Just stay and talk with us. Danny is trying, I’m trying. Why can’t you?”
“Damn it, Ryan, I’ve been trying for months.” Brian shook his head, “I’ll just be out for a short bit. I’ll be back tonight.”
Ryan watched Brian walk out the door. He sighed and picked up his phone, dialing a friend. “Hey... yeah Max... Could you call Brian and watch after him... No... No, it wasn’t a fight. I mean, it might’ve been a fight. Yeah... Well, the thing is, Danny is over and... no... no, I’m not going to. Just... Max! Just call Bri, ok? Thanks. I gotta go.”
Ryan hung up and returned to the kitchen. He smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry, where were we?”
Danny looked awkward and embarassed, sitting at the table. He cleared his throat, “I could just leave.”
“Or we can figure out our lives.” Ryan said, “Brian and I will talk later.”
“Are you two... serious?” Daniel said, looking at his coffee.
Ryan paused. He and Brian had never put labels or levels of seriousness onto their relationship. It just was. “All I know is that I love him and I’m with him.”
Daniel smiled and nodded. “I know that feeling. It’s a good one. Don’t lose it. Or mess it up by being a jerk.”
Ryan smiled sadly, “You’ll find someone one day, Danny, you just have a lot of bullshit to get through.”
Shrugging, Daniel sipped his coffee. “We’ll see.”
Maxim raised an eyebrow as he watched Brian take a shot. “Ok, now I told Millsy that I’d watch after you, but I didn’t say I’d babysit a drunk.”
“I can drink, Ryan can’t.” Brian sighed, “They’re in our house.”
“Ryan’s house. Ryan invited his friend to the house that he owns.” Maxim corrected, “I’m sorry but you’re just going to have to trust him.”
“I think I’m justifiably worried.” Brian said, “I mean, think of the last time that hurricane Briere swept into Ryan’s life.”
“Yeah,” Maxim said, “He ran to you.”
Brian nodded, taking Maxim’s words to heart. He ordered a beer and said, “I just want to have fun tonight, Max. It’s been so hard. Between practices, and my sister in law still being sick, and Ryan... it’s like three full time jobs. I feel like i’m cracking.”
“You are. You’ve taken care of Ryan a lot, and deserve a break.” Maxim sipped his own drink, “You need to take care of yourself too.”
Brian snorted, “fat chance.”
“Yeah well,” Maxim sighed and leaned back, “I knew you two were idiots the second I laid eyes on you.”
“Thanks, Max, that’s touching. Kick a man while he’s down.”
“It’s my job to kick your ass.” Max said, with a smile, “You need it. Keeps you young.”
Brian flicked off his friend, recieving his beer and drinking it. He finished half of it in one gulp. Max glared, “Slow down. I’m not returning you to Ryan drunk.”
“I’m staying at my place tonight. I’m getting drunk.” Brian said, “I need it.”
Maxim rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine. If you mess up Millsy though, I’m going to kill you.”
“It’s just a bit much right now,” Brian said, “Too much.”
“That’s ok. Let off some steam and start again tomorrow.” Max raised his beer.
Brian smiled, relieved, his shoulders relaxing, “To tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” Max said.
by Elise
parts 29-32
Buffalo Sabres
Ryan Miller/Brian Campbell
29. Birth
Ryan rolled his eyes, holding the styrofoam cup full of bitter coffee. It was exactly like the movies. Sitting down, Ryan noted a few people talking and looking at him. There were a few sparks of recognition. Ryan’s face flushed red and he looked down. A woman next to him cleared her throat, quietly saying, “Hey, don’t mind them any. We should be used to celebrities by now.”
Ryan shrugged. “I’m not a celebrity. Just a guy.”
“With a problem. Like them. We’re no different.” She smiled, sitting back.
Ryan watched her and nodded. A man walked into the room, and everyone seemed to quiet down. He walked to the front and smiled, “Hello everyone! Some new faces, some familiar. Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous. How is everyone?”
There were a few murmurs and responses. Ryan remained quiet. The man smiled and said, “I’m Evan, for the new people. First off, it took a lot of strength to get here, so how about everyone give each other a round of applause?”
Ryan remained still watching as everyone began clapping. The woman next to him jabbed him in the side. Giving her a look, Ryan clapped. Evan smiled and Ryan wanted to wipe the smirk off the man’s face. Ryan felt that he would be better in practice, not a meeting. “Great, folks, great,” Evan said, “Alright, how about a round of introductions before we get to talking?”
The group nodded and one by one they introduced themselves. Ryan’s palms began to sweat as it was soon his turn. Once it was, he stood up and raised his coffee in a mock salute. “I’m Ryan Miller. I’m new.”
“Welcome Ryan.” Evan said, the group repeating him.
Ryan smiled weakly. “Thanks.”
“Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?” Evan prodded.
“Oh... there’s nothing to tell. Maybe later.” Ryan looked at his feet.
“You’re safe to speak here, Ryan, we all support you.”
Ryan nodded, “Well... I play hockey for a living and... And I have my own charity. I like music.”
“Why are you here?” Evan said, “You sound pretty accomplished.”
Ryan fidgetted, “Because... because I’m an alcoholic. I can’t necessarily handle the stress... in fact...” Ryan sighed, “I’m.. not good at much of anything.”
The group looked at each other, Ryan recieving some raised eyebrows. He ran a hand through his hair and said, “Can I sit now?”
“Sure, Sure,” Evan said, “IT takes a lot for you to admit that.”
The group immediately appploaded, the woman to Ryan’s right patting him on the leg. Ryan’s eyes burned with embarassment. Evan continued, “Did everyone see that? It was incredible. RYan admitted something very important. That is the first step. There is no shame in this.”
Ryan nodded as he listened to Evan’s words. “Those who take the first step,” Evan said, “Are reborn. It is a birth. You have recieved life.”
Ryan lifted his head, Evan’s words sinking in. He smiled lightly. He’d like that. He’s like that a lot.
30. Death
Buffalonews.com/blog
Before we jump on the Sabres for playing poorly the past few games - lets discuss the true reason behind their difficulties. One might think that its the loss of the captains, or the fact that we’ve had some injuries. Or maybe the team is not working as a team but as a group of individuals? Maybe these are all the reasons behind a certain All-star goalie’s alcoholism. That’s right folks, you heard it from me. Our sources say that Ryan Miller, star goalie of the Buffalo Sabres, has a drinking problem. Now, drinking problems aren’t new to hockey. Yet Lindy Ruff has let this one run wild. Our sources say that Ryan Miller was hospitalized, getting his stomach pumped. He also has decided to go to AA. He’s missed practices and has a rocky love life. He’s been picking up girls at bars, one night stands. Ryan Miller, our golden boy, is actually a train wreck. Will a life or death situation be the only way that Miller can beat his disease? No one knows for sure. The only thing we do know is that he is a role model and should think about his destructive actions, and the Sabres are in danger of not making it to the Stanley Cup this year.
Millergirl243 responds:
Leave Ryan alone. So he drinks a lot. Who in Buffalo doesn’t?
Brian_Matthews responds:
I don’t think its any of our business what Miller does. As long as he keeps making those incredible saves, I couldn’t care less how much alcohol is in his system.
Barbara responds:
I think its a disgrace they let him play. what message is this to our children? I’ve been a school teacher for 23 years, and I’m tired of seeing my children look up to alcoholics, drug users and womanizers. Trade him and let Thibault play.
Jack_124 responds:
I never see him at bars! Hey Miller, if you read this, come on out!
Frogman responds:
It’s disgusting. Miller needs rehab for alcohol and the team needs rehab for their crap skills.
Mindy16 responds:
I love you Ryan! Even if you drink a lot!! You’ll always be my favorite sabre! I love you!
Ryan turned from the labtop and covered his face. Brian looked up from his book and said, “Ryan...? You alright?”
Shaking his head, he whispered, “I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you later, Bri.”
“Whoa...” Brian got up, walking to the goalie. “Talk to me.”
Ryan pushed Brian away and said, his voice angry. “I said, I’m going to bed.”
Brian watched Ryan go upstairs, hearing the room door slam. He walked over to the labtop, looking at the webpage that was still up. He read it through, his hand covering his mouth. “Oh, Ryan...”
31. sunrise
Ryan woke up with tears in his eyes. He turned to his window, the sun peaking over the Buffalo sky line. Standing up, he cracked his neck and moved out of his bedroom. Ryan paused, blinking a few times. Brian was curled into a ball by his door. Bending down, Ryan gently shook the man. “Bri, Bri wake up...”
Brian groggily opened his eyes. “Ryan?”
“Did you sleep there all night?” Ryan asked in disbelief.
Brian nodded sheepishly. “Your bed would’ve been more comfortable.”
Ryan nodded, and extended a hand, which Brian took. Helping Brian stand, Ryan led him to his bed, lying down. Brian laid down behind Ryan, tucking his arm around the goalie. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Too early.” Ryan said with a yawn, “Just watch the sunrise with me.”
Brian looked out the window and smiled, nodding. He pulled Ryan closer and whispered in his ear, “It’ll be ok.”
Ryan shuddered, “I don’t think it will be. Before it was my problem, now everyone knows.”
“We’ll get through it. This changes nothing.” Brian said, “You’ll still go to meetings, still work hard. I’ll still love you.”
Ryan turned in the bed, facing Brian. “All of my fears and doubts were thrown across the papers. It’s only a matter of time before it spreads further.”
Brian gently stroked Ryan’s face, leaning over to kiss him. Ryan kissed back and decided to show his thanks.
32. Sunset
Ryan raised an eyebrow, looking at Brian. He couldn’t tell if his ears were pink from the cold or from blushing. “OK, what are we doing here?”
Brian pointed at a few of the team members. They had formed a tight bond, the group. Jaro, Maxim, Thomas and Tim, standing proudly behind Brian. “We’re here to remember.”
Ryan looked down at his skates and sighed, moving back and forth. “I remember hockey. I’ve got a problem with alcohol, not memory loss.”
Maxim shrugged, “I came to play hockey.”
Shaking his head, Ryan moved towards the makeshift goal on the frozen pond. It was a good idea to find a secluded pond in Buffalo, remembering that they were playing a game, and games were fun. Tim stopped Ryan. “How about you take a break today?”
“Et tu, Connolly?” Ryan said, “I’m benched again?”
Laughing, Tim shook his head, “No, I’ve got goal.”
“You’re crap at goal.”
“There are no points to win today.” Tim said, skating off to the goal.
Ryan shook his head, a bit unsure. “Alright... I... forward?”
“Three on three.” Brian said, as he moved towards the other goal. “Connelly, first pick.”
Tim skated up behind Ryan and pulled his head in close, giving the star goalie a wet kiss on the cheek. “I got Miller.”
“Watch it, Connelly.” Brian said, laughing as Ryan wiped his face, “I’ll take Spacey.”
Spacek moved towards Brian. Maxim smiled as Tim picked him next, Thomas skating towards Brian. Brian yelled out, “So let’s forget the world, ok? Let’s play some hockey.”
Ryan looked up at Brian’s words and nodded. He focused on the puck then looked up into Thomas’ face. “You’re going down, Vanek.”
“Show me, don’t tell me.” Thomas said, laughing.
Soon, the group of friends were playing. Ryan was skating around, trying to stay near his goal. Tim came forward, pushing Ryan. “Forward, implies that you go forward.”
With a glare, Ryan took the pass from Maxim and began to skate up towards Brian’s goal. His breath was fast, and he was sweating, but Ryan hadn’t had this much fun in ages. Jaro yelled out, “Lindy!”
Ryan froze, allowing Thomas to check him into Brian, and take the puck back. Ryan looked around, eyes wide in surprise, to see his friends laughing hysterically. “Haha,” Ryan said sourly, “Very funny.”
“It was.” Jaro said, holding onto his knees for balance from his laughter.
Tim looked away, biting a grin and Brian shrugged, smiling. Ryan threw his stick down and raced towards Jaro, leaping onto him. The two wrestled for a bit before breaking it up. Jaro, still laughing, said, “You don’t think Brian will be jealous, would you?”
Shoving him back down, Ryan grabbed his stick. “Again!”
Brian grinned and watched as Ryan laughed and smiled genuinely. This was a good idea. The boys played until sunset, before heading in for hot cocoa and dinner.
33. Too Much
Brian crossed his arms, glaring. His eyes were dark and full of distrust. Tapping his foot, Brian noted that his insides were twisting a bit, anxious. “Ryan.” He said.
Ryan looked up, nervous, then placed his hands up, “Let me explain.”
“I’ve heard that one before.” Brian said, “What the hell is he doing in our kitchen?”
“We’re patching things up.” Ryan said, “We’re resolving the past. It’s part... it’s part of the process, and its something I need to do.”
“Patching things up?” Brian said, “So step seven is invite your abuser into the house and serve him coffee?”
Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair, “He did not abuse me. Brian, don’t do this, you said you would help me.”
“Help you beat your disease, not help you fall into another one of his traps.” Brian pointed at the kitchen, “Don’t you see what he’s doing?”
“Brian, Danny and I are through. We’re just talking.” Ryan stood tall, trying to get Brian to see some reason, “Would you please just remember the good times and sit with me? Talk to him like a normal human being.”
“How can you?” Brian said, “He treated you so poorly.”
“Yeah, I know.” Ryan said seriously, “And we’re talking about it, because we’re adults. Please... remember that he used to be your captain. Come sit with us.”
Brian looked away, his face showing his hurt and frustration. He nodded, “Fine, it’s not like my opinion matters anyway.”
“That’s not fair.” Ryan said.
“No, what’s not fair is that no matter what I do, or how much I show you that I love you, he always comes back and everything is fine and dandy. Danny can get your heart in the snap of his fingers. I have to climb mountains.” Brian wanted to keep quiet, he wanted to keep his fears to himself. The words just kept spilling out, and he knew he was taking it out on Danny and Ryan.
“Why are you doing this? I love you, not him. I shouldn’t have to prove it.” Ryan retorted.
“Fine. Enjoy your talk with Danny. I have to go.” Brian turned, grabbing his jacket.
“Don’t leave, Bri, please.” Ryan said, “Just stay and talk with us. Danny is trying, I’m trying. Why can’t you?”
“Damn it, Ryan, I’ve been trying for months.” Brian shook his head, “I’ll just be out for a short bit. I’ll be back tonight.”
Ryan watched Brian walk out the door. He sighed and picked up his phone, dialing a friend. “Hey... yeah Max... Could you call Brian and watch after him... No... No, it wasn’t a fight. I mean, it might’ve been a fight. Yeah... Well, the thing is, Danny is over and... no... no, I’m not going to. Just... Max! Just call Bri, ok? Thanks. I gotta go.”
Ryan hung up and returned to the kitchen. He smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry, where were we?”
Danny looked awkward and embarassed, sitting at the table. He cleared his throat, “I could just leave.”
“Or we can figure out our lives.” Ryan said, “Brian and I will talk later.”
“Are you two... serious?” Daniel said, looking at his coffee.
Ryan paused. He and Brian had never put labels or levels of seriousness onto their relationship. It just was. “All I know is that I love him and I’m with him.”
Daniel smiled and nodded. “I know that feeling. It’s a good one. Don’t lose it. Or mess it up by being a jerk.”
Ryan smiled sadly, “You’ll find someone one day, Danny, you just have a lot of bullshit to get through.”
Shrugging, Daniel sipped his coffee. “We’ll see.”
Maxim raised an eyebrow as he watched Brian take a shot. “Ok, now I told Millsy that I’d watch after you, but I didn’t say I’d babysit a drunk.”
“I can drink, Ryan can’t.” Brian sighed, “They’re in our house.”
“Ryan’s house. Ryan invited his friend to the house that he owns.” Maxim corrected, “I’m sorry but you’re just going to have to trust him.”
“I think I’m justifiably worried.” Brian said, “I mean, think of the last time that hurricane Briere swept into Ryan’s life.”
“Yeah,” Maxim said, “He ran to you.”
Brian nodded, taking Maxim’s words to heart. He ordered a beer and said, “I just want to have fun tonight, Max. It’s been so hard. Between practices, and my sister in law still being sick, and Ryan... it’s like three full time jobs. I feel like i’m cracking.”
“You are. You’ve taken care of Ryan a lot, and deserve a break.” Maxim sipped his own drink, “You need to take care of yourself too.”
Brian snorted, “fat chance.”
“Yeah well,” Maxim sighed and leaned back, “I knew you two were idiots the second I laid eyes on you.”
“Thanks, Max, that’s touching. Kick a man while he’s down.”
“It’s my job to kick your ass.” Max said, with a smile, “You need it. Keeps you young.”
Brian flicked off his friend, recieving his beer and drinking it. He finished half of it in one gulp. Max glared, “Slow down. I’m not returning you to Ryan drunk.”
“I’m staying at my place tonight. I’m getting drunk.” Brian said, “I need it.”
Maxim rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine. If you mess up Millsy though, I’m going to kill you.”
“It’s just a bit much right now,” Brian said, “Too much.”
“That’s ok. Let off some steam and start again tomorrow.” Max raised his beer.
Brian smiled, relieved, his shoulders relaxing, “To tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” Max said.