Introduction and Rant (as per usual!)

[awolfcalledskya]

Be warned: This will probably be long, so skim read if necessary.

I've never had the opportunity to be part of a fibromyalgia group of any type before, so this is a very new experience. I'm both extremely excited to be a part of one, and a little unsure of where to begin.

Comments

[shesfearless]

My husband and I have both been dealing with it since childhood/adolescence, among other health issues.

I have cut contact with people who are toxic for my health. Some of them have straightened out and are now okay for me to have relationships with them.

[awolfcalledskya]

Amazing! It is nice to meet another that has been dealing with it from such a young age.

That's what I'm hoping might occur in the case of this relative, but I'm not holding my breath. Either way, I just don't want her around.
I've cut most of the negative influences out of my life, but I must say that I've still got a very large hole in my local social group because of it. I'm hoping by being in two bands, I'll develop some new relationships and more confidence in myself as a person. Music tends to pull me out of my worries better than many things (though writing trumps all!).

[shesfearless]

Yeah, it seems to be a small group of us out there.

I had to stop talking to my mother for a while because she just would not accept my illness. She's never been able to accept how sick I am and have always been. She's still pretty ignorant but is better about not making it my problem.

I have a hand full of friends even though I do go to college. It's just difficult to make friends when your own life is messy, depressing and incomprehensible to a lot of people.

[awolfcalledskya]

Yeah, my parents were similar with the onset, especially my father. But on my worse days, they soon discovered no amount of emotional distress they could inflict on me had any effect on getting me out of bed and to school. Eventually, after all the yelling and screaming matches, they came to accept the fact that I wasn't just playing hooky, and that it was real and it was severe. They've been amazing ever since

[nissedragon]

Could you please place this behind a lj cut? It's a bit long on my friends list.

Thank you. :)

[awolfcalledskya]

I would do it if I know how. Could you explain it so I can? (I'm a complete newbie to livejournal)

[nissedragon]

FAQ #75 explains it best.

[awolfcalledskya]

Thank you! And fixed. =)

wow

[ashenphoenix]

and that's unfortunately, the *bad* wow. I salute you for just keeping going, with all the negativity around you, and hope your current goals work out.
I have always believed that there are 2 kinds of family - the ones you're born into, and the ones you choose. And, lacking in tact and other social skills; I refuse to fell obligated/be nice to someone who - if they weren't somehow bold kin - I would not associate with. So I don't. YMMV. But I hope you are able to find the emotional support that should be your right...even if it's only on this list. My personal LJ is basically MY place to vent, so I don't explode around those I love. But I think most of us just have to rant in a group of our peers from time to time - and it sounds like you've had a long time to build up!
May you have more positive experiences to post about soon, and many spoons!

Re: wow

[awolfcalledskya]

Thanks; and yes, it's been a bit of a miracle, to say the least, that I have kept going. There were more negatives, but I left them out because of how long it was getting. (for example: while I was being intially diagnosed and dealing with it, I had moved schools and was dealing with some pretty extreme emotional bullying, and lost the majority of my friend group from the previous school. and I didn't make new friends for another year and a half, when I entered the highschool. This has lead me to be pretty shy, and it takes a while before I can truly trust someone without suspecting a hidden motive of some sort

[nightshade1972]

I refer to my parents as the Parental Units, and my inlaws as Mom and Dad. My parents made it clear, from the moment I was old enough to understand, that they didn't want a handicapped daughter (seizures/hydrocephalus, the FM came later) and wished they hadn't gotten one. The Maternal Unit was diagnosed with FM at about the same time I was. Yet she's the brave martyr and I'm the lazy malcontent. I could go into a lot more detail about what a dysfunctional family I grew up in, but suffice it to say I know where you're coming from. And I'm a firm believer that "family are the people you choose". Hubby, his parents and my MIL's extended family have welcomed me as one of their own from day one. So I've basically disowned myself from my own parents. And I'm much happier and less stressed as a result, which has helped ease my FM symptoms as well.

[awolfcalledskya]

Aaah, "parental units". That is a handy definition. I often refer to mine as "The parents", which confuses most people. I dunno, it just kind of stuck after saying it once.
Perhaps I'll tear a page from your book and call my grandmother the "elderly unit" or some such.

Yes, family are definitely the people you choose and who choose you.

And good for you! I'm happy that you've improved after getting away from the "parental units".

[nightshade1972]

Hubby's looking at several job opportunities, which might necessitate our relocating out of state. We would probably happily invite my inlaws to move with us. But I don't think we'd say anything to the Parental Units until we'd already pulled up stakes.

I think "Parental Units" just sounds better than "egg/sperm donor". When the Maternal Unit starts railing about what an "evil, stupid, selfish, worthless bitch" I am, and the Paternal Unit basically just sits by and lets her do it...they're not my parents, in the truest sense of what the term is suppposed to mean.

:-)

[awolfcalledskya]

Agreed. That's just awful. You really begin to wonder what possesses some couples to have children when they aren't prepared for things "going wrong" in some form or another (aka, that they don't end up "perfect"). Personally, I might adopt down the road, but I'm not at all interested otherwise.

Good for your hubby! Best wishes he finds a good job in a good state. =)

[kitrona]

I cut my mother off for almost a year; it took that long for her to realize I wasn't putting up with her crap any more and I was NOT going to come crawling back. Best of luck to you. *hugs*

[awolfcalledskya]

Thank you. -hugs- and I hope things have worked out well, now, between your mother and yourself?

[kitrona]

They're cordial, and she occasionally sounds like she actually cares, but she has her own issues and I know not to trust the situation. We can be in the same room for some time without sniping, which is good, but I had to basically go "scorched-earth" on her to get to this point.

I wish you well, and I hope that if it has to go that far for you, that you have support enough to handle it.

[awolfcalledskya]

Aaah, yes.

Thank you, and the same to you! =)