Seven uberwanks that never made it (birthday gift for minnow_53)

[fera_festiva]

This is a somewhat very overdue birthday gift for the wonderful minnow_53, who requested uberwank outtakes. :D

Minnow, I don't know if this is the sort of thing you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. And I'm sorry it ended up being so late. The Other Thing we talked about is still in progress and will be even later, but it is on the way! ♥

Comments

[vickythefluffy]

First off: LOL.

The Worst Witch! What a glorious blast from the past. And it makes me wonder why I've never thought to contrast and compare my various wizarding-escapade-related favourites. I'm feeling that Wizardora might just be Tonks' LJ username...

Also, funny you should bring up Mr Men books. My friends and I ave been contemplating these recently. We're feeling a adult version of the series should be created, based upon Mr Tickle's excellent raping skillz and Mr Bump's sexual deviancy. I cannot believe that sentence just escaped the confines of my brain.

And as for the sheer preposterousness of natural colours and flavours... well, has anyone seen the new lime Tictacs? I didn't think they were meant to be vomit flavoured.

PS. Am going to be using 'twunt' an awful lot more now thank you.

[fera_festiva]

1) Thank you. ♥

2) I agree, Mr Tickle had... boundary issues, put it that way. Doesn't the book end on the ominous note that he is waiting around the next corner to tickle you? Ugh.

3) Twunt is a fabulous word, isn't it? It sounds rude and vitriolic and yet it is utterly OK to say at work. :D

[vickythefluffy]

i) My pleasure =)

ii) LOL, he did a bit. It's all a little alarming. I wish I knew where all my old Mr Men books were, I'd love to reread them with a more... er, critical eye.

iii) Haha, perfect!

[minnow_53]

For me? *does happy dance* *metaphorically: space at home is limited*

This is blatantly a million times more imaginative and far-reaching than my tentative prompt, and obviously I can’t fail to be impressed, as well as touched. I mean, who could ask for more than Mr Happy, the twuntish Tony Tiger (even though he only has a cameo), an acoustic guitar, Threepio and The Worst Witch? Not to mention Cho. And the beautiful, ironic self-insert at the end.

I don’t know if ‘thank you’ is adequate, but I’ll say it anyway. Unlike Little Miss Chatterbox, I’m rather lost for words at this total glory. And though nobody says I have to pick a favourite bit -- and it’s all glorious - I did LOL at the following:

*pastes whole text*

Much, much love. ♥

[fera_festiva]

For you! ♥ Much much love back. I'm so happy you liked it - as is so often the case, I spent ages worrying about how to use your prompt before this arrived in my brain. :P So I am really happy you LOL'd.

♥ and more ♥

[ivakas]

It is so good to parasite on other people´s birthday gifts!

Worst Witch gender bending - it cannot be a mere coincidence. Maybe Draco and Snape made a tunnel into a parallel world in order to escape to a better, happier AU - from giant snakes and premature baldness.

(Also, Man with the beard, acoustic guitar and flaccid penis, it sucks to be you.)

[fera_festiva]

It really does suck to be that guy. His hairline is receding and all around him, people are receiving the oral sex he will never experience. :D

[matt_writer]

The thing with your first Uberwank chapters is that they were very tentative. Personally, I find this a good thing because it lets you feel the growth/changing-its-purpose-ness of the project as it goes along. I was rereading said chapters not long ago and it had me all nostalgic -- you're doing it so differently now!

. . . and I quite love the rejected uberwanks' out-takes. :)

[fera_festiva]

Aww, thank you. That's very kind. All of it. :)

(BTW, I haven't forgotten about your birthday gift - should be up tomorrow or the day after.)

[matt_writer]

But I wasn't saying it to be kind! I'm not a monk, I swear! I am not a kind person! It's just the way the chapters are.

Er, forget the monk comment. I dunno where that came from. I need sleep, all right? :D

Yay! Looking forward to it. :]

[cristiline]

This was so awesome that I even laughed at things I don't know at all (namely four and one)! ♥

[fera_festiva]

Yay! I'm very pleased you liked it. :P