Recipe for sweet pan-fried crispy Jesus

[fenton]

1. Tenderize with 39 blows
2. Drag over a hard surface dusted with breading
3. Hang to dry for several hours
4. Take down and place in a cool, dark place to age for 3 days
5. Remove and place in a lightly oiled pan at proper heat, and flip into the air to turn over, as necessary.

Comments

[panteraonca]

*wipes water off her keyboard*

[risu]

What would you recommend for vegetarians? I understand that there's a wide variety of meat-free Christ alternatives (hosts, hufu, textured gnotein, & maybe Ritz crackers) but how do you prepare them so they don't come out crumbly?

Do you think there's any reason for concern that someone's personal savior might be tainted with Chinese-origin melamine?

Do you know any good ways to make a personal savior-based cream or gel? I have heard about couples coming together in Jesus but this dish seems very heavy and unspreadable for erotic play.

Vegetarian alternatives for salvation

[fenton]

What would you recommend for vegetarians? I understand that there's a wide variety of meat-free Christ alternatives (hosts, hufu, textured gnotein, & maybe Ritz crackers) but how do you prepare them so they don't come out crumbly?

I have been working on a recipe for a vegetarian (possibly even vegan, though I have my doubts) savior, but I have not been satisfied with the results, to date. Once I am, I will post the recipe here, of course.

Do you think there's any reason for concern that someone's personal savior might be tainted with Chinese-origin melamine?

While the dish itself is an ancient recipe hailing from the Fertile Crescent region, modern saviors are raised in all parts of the world, and I am not aware of any country that currently regulates their standards of care or feed composition. Thus, it is not safe to assume that someone's personal savior is untainted unless they can document that said savior has either been tested for melamine contamination, or has been feed from birth on strictly controlled sources which are