Comments | fenrischained: Dancing On The Rainbow

fenrischained

Dancing On The Rainbow - for brigits_flame

Jan 21, 2009 17:50

Title: Dancing On The Rainbow
Genre: Um... ^-^' Sorry, my brain isn't really working today.
Warnings: Besides the ladlefuls of angst, not much. xD Mind you, angst seems to be pretty much par for the course with my stuff, so...

Summary: When a boy is fated to kill his brother, there's bound to be a few stresses. But there are other bonds, which ( Read more... )

mythology, baldr, brigits_flame, original fiction

Comments 10

cedarwolfsinger January 24 2009, 04:29:36 UTC

Fenris, this is magnificent. Thank you for sharing it. You give the brothers very human characteristics. Brilliant, especially the scene on the Rainbow Bridge... Good luck!

fenrischained January 24 2009, 13:17:19 UTC

Thanks!
Glad you liked it ^^

Edit - kind of long desert_rose January 25 2009, 02:16:32 UTC

Hi there ( ... )

Re: Edit - kind of long fenrischained January 25 2009, 02:28:36 UTC

Thanks!

I didn't notice the typos. ^-^' I was writing this straight into the LJ post from my one hard copy, so I think I just forgot to spell-check it. That accounts for the Hothr/Hodr typo, as well (I used a different romanisation in the original)

I'll consider the and/but thing. That sort of sentence structure seems to have a way of creeping into my work. -.-'

I'd have to disagree with the repetition of Loki thing, though. Honestly? I wrote that because I thought it worked, and I still do. And Loki isn't Baldr's brother, but I think that's just me not making things clear, isn't it? (God, that whole paragraph there sounds really rude. Sorry!)

Thanks, though! I really appreciate your input.

Re: Edit - kind of long desert_rose January 25 2009, 02:50:28 UTC

No, not rude at all! I make suggestions, knowing that there's a good chance the author will decide to stick with the way something is worded. I learn as much, if not more, from those I edit for as they do from me, and never take any disagreements with my suggestions to heart.

Keep up the great work!

Re: Edit - kind of long fenrischained January 25 2009, 02:56:39 UTC

Well, that's a relief. C=

Like I said, thanks a lot.

intermezzo_poet January 25 2009, 18:34:02 UTC

Wow. Nice work...

I really loved how the narrator felt such a strong tie with Hothr, and even seemed so defensive and concerned for him at times... when all the while, he was to be the death of him.

I liked the format of this piece--how the narrator described everything almost romantically, how he explained the past in great deal and then shot forward into the present, tying it all together the moment before his end.

Nice work!

fenrischained January 25 2009, 18:58:21 UTC

Thanks!
I'm glad you liked it. ^^

Editing week 3 cedarwolfsinger January 29 2009, 16:46:04 UTC

Hello, Fenris. Glad you made it to week 4! I am one of your editors this week. Since the piece is long, if my edits do not fit in one comment box, I will break them in two. Just so you know ( ... )

Re: Editing week 3 fenrischained January 29 2009, 17:09:52 UTC

Thanks! I will try to get an entry in this week... *is having MAJOR computer issues*
But thanks for the concrit, either way. Someday, I WILL fix those typos! -.-

I'm confused about the learnt/learned thing, though - I don't know if it's right, but I've always been taught to use 'learnt', not 'learned' in that sort of context - I didn't put it in as a structural thing at all. xD

That interests me quite a lot, actually. I assume you're American (ninety percent of the interwebz seem to be American) - maybe it's just one of those things that's different in different places?