"well, my mother did it when she was pregnant with me, and look how I turned out"
My usual reaction to that would be "... er, yeah. See, that's why I'm not doing that." But I'm snarky.
It's good to hear this. The boy was so adamant that he's never seen this happen at all that I was beginning to think I must live in the worst place for pregnant women in the country.
Not only do people scrutinize and criticize every choice you make WHILE you are pregnant, this only intensifies the minute the baby is born. Everyone has an opinion on the following things and will subject those opinions to you whether you want them to or not:
and so on and so on. And if you don't make the choice THEY feel is appropriate, it's a never ending sermon.
THEN, when the baby is a little older, you get the really f*cking annoying question, "SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER?" "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO GIVE JUNIOR A BROTHER OR SISTER?" My daughter is five and I get that question from people I don't even KNOW. I hate it so much. None of your business, kthnx.
Of course people treat pregnant women differently! How do you ignore that a woman is about to have a miraculous experience? Pregnant women make me smile, so I probably appear more friendly to them.
When I was pregnant, people were extremely rude to me. Especially since I look very young (though I'm 30, was 28 at the time). One woman actually yelled at me because she thought I was in my teens and I didn't deserve to have a baby I couldn't take care of. I can give a lot more examples too. My sister is currently pregnant and she has a new story for me every day.
Yeah, my partner babysits her neice once a week, and I'm usually along for the ride - we get countless scornful glances, for looking like a lesbian couple with a child.
I was in agrocery store once and saw a woman pick up the toddler of another shopper she clearly did not know. all I could think is that if that'd been my kid she'd be explaining why she thought it was okay to pick up my child as she picked herself up off of the floor. people astound me with their self centered rudeness.
While I could TOTALLY understand this, I guess it's a cultural thing. I'm Latina and I KNOW Latin Americans, once they know that it's another Latin family their dealing with (in my experience) feel it's totally okay and natural to pick up/hug/talk to/etc children they have never seen before in a friendly/family-er manner.
I personally am not TOO fond of this but it has grown on me and I myself LOVE playing w/kids and do like having an environment where making a child smile does not label me a freak of pedophilic-nature. It also reminds me a lot of "community parenting" that a lot of feminists talk about.
However, the whole grocery store bit - I'd go off protectively too.
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My usual reaction to that would be "... er, yeah. See, that's why I'm not doing that." But I'm snarky.
It's good to hear this. The boy was so adamant that he's never seen this happen at all that I was beginning to think I must live in the worst place for pregnant women in the country.
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That's a major yuck on my part; I'd be smacking people for touching me.
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Yeah, I've noticed that too.
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circumsize/not
immunize/not
breastfeed/bottlefeed
cloth diapers/disposables
work/stay home/other arrangement
and so on and so on. And if you don't make the choice THEY feel is appropriate, it's a never ending sermon.
THEN, when the baby is a little older, you get the really f*cking annoying question, "SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER?" "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO GIVE JUNIOR A BROTHER OR SISTER?" My daughter is five and I get that question from people I don't even KNOW. I hate it so much. None of your business, kthnx.
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(subject you to those opinions, rather. *headdesk*)
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I can give a lot more examples too. My sister is currently pregnant and she has a new story for me every day.
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While I could TOTALLY understand this, I guess it's a cultural thing. I'm Latina and I KNOW Latin Americans, once they know that it's another Latin family their dealing with (in my experience) feel it's totally okay and natural to pick up/hug/talk to/etc children they have never seen before in a friendly/family-er manner.
I personally am not TOO fond of this but it has grown on me and I myself LOVE playing w/kids and do like having an environment where making a child smile does not label me a freak of pedophilic-nature. It also reminds me a lot of "community parenting" that a lot of feminists talk about.
However, the whole grocery store bit - I'd go off protectively too.
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