When I was pregnant, people were extremely rude to me. Especially since I look very young (though I'm 30, was 28 at the time). One woman actually yelled at me because she thought I was in my teens and I didn't deserve to have a baby I couldn't take care of. I can give a lot more examples too. My sister is currently pregnant and she has a new story for me every day.
Yeah, my partner babysits her neice once a week, and I'm usually along for the ride - we get countless scornful glances, for looking like a lesbian couple with a child.
I was in agrocery store once and saw a woman pick up the toddler of another shopper she clearly did not know. all I could think is that if that'd been my kid she'd be explaining why she thought it was okay to pick up my child as she picked herself up off of the floor. people astound me with their self centered rudeness.
While I could TOTALLY understand this, I guess it's a cultural thing. I'm Latina and I KNOW Latin Americans, once they know that it's another Latin family their dealing with (in my experience) feel it's totally okay and natural to pick up/hug/talk to/etc children they have never seen before in a friendly/family-er manner.
I personally am not TOO fond of this but it has grown on me and I myself LOVE playing w/kids and do like having an environment where making a child smile does not label me a freak of pedophilic-nature. It also reminds me a lot of "community parenting" that a lot of feminists talk about.
However, the whole grocery store bit - I'd go off protectively too.
I'm Latina, also, so I can vouch for this! I'm not about to pick up a stranger's child, unless it's at a party full of Latinos and it's "normal" for the situation. But at the grocery store? Oh god, no.
Well, she told me that just the other day she was in a bagel shop and ordered a capuccino drink and some woman started lecturing her on too much caffiene while pregnant. She has had several women tell her that she MUST breastfeed if she really loves her child. This, I can relate to because I had so many people (even ones who admitted they never had kids) tell me that breastfeeding was the only way to go. The unwanted advice always irritated me (and her as well), but the worst is people just coming up and touching your belly without permission. My sister is extremely private and very unafraid to speak her mind and I can imagine that she has left several people in tears when they tried to pull that.
Just to add: I had equal number of men and women try to touch my belly while I was pregnant. For some reason though, only the women felt the need to hand out parenting advice.
I was 15 when my little brother was born (I am 17 now)... Whenever I go out in public with him, half the people I come across look disgusted and the other half seem very sympathetic.
I recall once I was actually in the waiting room for a psychiatrists office, and my mom was in the bathroom or something... So I was watching my brother. Some random woman actually came up and started rubbing my back and told me how brave I am.
i've gotten that disapproving "babies having babies" look, too, and i was just carrying my year-old niece around a suburban grocery store. it's sort of disgusting, really, how strongly people believe that everyone's business is somehow their business too by default.
I fear this, too.cash_or_creditOctober 30 2005, 05:32:59 UTC
People often think that I'm just entering high school. When I let them know how old I really am, most people are shocked, some are really embarassed. It's the same with my boyfriend, so I told him that, if we have kids, we should expect people being assholes, thinking we were irresponsible 12 year olds or something.
I can give a lot more examples too. My sister is currently pregnant and she has a new story for me every day.
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While I could TOTALLY understand this, I guess it's a cultural thing. I'm Latina and I KNOW Latin Americans, once they know that it's another Latin family their dealing with (in my experience) feel it's totally okay and natural to pick up/hug/talk to/etc children they have never seen before in a friendly/family-er manner.
I personally am not TOO fond of this but it has grown on me and I myself LOVE playing w/kids and do like having an environment where making a child smile does not label me a freak of pedophilic-nature. It also reminds me a lot of "community parenting" that a lot of feminists talk about.
However, the whole grocery store bit - I'd go off protectively too.
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Really? What are some of the things she's experienced?
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She has had several women tell her that she MUST breastfeed if she really loves her child. This, I can relate to because I had so many people (even ones who admitted they never had kids) tell me that breastfeeding was the only way to go. The unwanted advice always irritated me (and her as well), but the worst is people just coming up and touching your belly without permission. My sister is extremely private and very unafraid to speak her mind and I can imagine that she has left several people in tears when they tried to pull that.
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I was 15 when my little brother was born (I am 17 now)... Whenever I go out in public with him, half the people I come across look disgusted and the other half seem very sympathetic.
I recall once I was actually in the waiting room for a psychiatrists office, and my mom was in the bathroom or something... So I was watching my brother. Some random woman actually came up and started rubbing my back and told me how brave I am.
Yeah, I really wish people wouldn't assume.
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