on the road to motherhood

[sessiboy]

interesting nytimes article:

"So will she join the long tradition of famous Ivy League graduates? Not likely. By the time she is 30, this accomplished 19-year-old expects to be a stay-at-home mom."

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Comments

[ex_vega]

Ms. Ku added that she did not think it was a problem that women usually do most of the work raising kids.

"I accept things how they are," she said. "I don't mind the status quo. I don't see why I have to go against it."

There are so many things wrong with that mindset.

[mlfoley]

Why should she have to go against it if she doesn't wish to? My mother had this same problem - she wanted to stay home and believed that her role was a home-maker, and people told her she was wrong.

[ruggerdavey]

I think the original commenters point was less that Ms Ku wanted to stay at home and more that she say absolutely no problem withe the fact that the majority of childcare falls in the hands of women. At least, that's how I reacted to the comment.

[ex_vega]

I have no problem with mothers or fathers or grandparents staying home with children. But, I don't think that it should be assumed that mothers are automatically better care givers. I feel like it should be a discussion between all parties involved and not something decided on because it is the status quo.

[muliebrity]

Would you mind posting the text for those of us who don't want to register with the Times?

[moscowdisco]

bugmenot.com has plenty of free usernames/passwords if you don't want to register.

[nosmokegirl]

i would second that. i don't read the articles if i have to sign up or go through a bit of a hassle to get in. plus, my computer gets viruses like mad, so i can't go link-clicking all willy-nilly.

[outtajo]

Awesome.

Feminism doesn't mean that a woman MUST have a career and NOT be a full-time mom.

Feminism is giving her the opportunity to make that choice.

[ruggerdavey]

But are women really getting a real choice here? Why are they always the ones that choose between work and their kids? Why must we choose between the two? I.e. Why are there no really good part-time job opportunities in this country? Why, if you want a well-paying job, must you work more than 40 hours a week with little/no vacation time in comparison to other western countries? Why isn't there better childcare in this country?

I'm not saying that women shouldn't be able to stay at home if that's what they want, but if things were different, I question whether all of these women would feel they needed to be at home full time for the good of their kids.

[bestdaywelived]

Therein lies the problem.

*headcementblock*

[___flight_risk]

I have nothing against single moms, but the tone of this article pissed me off so much, you wouldn't know it!

"I've seen the difference between kids who did have their mother stay at home and kids who didn't, and it's kind of like an obvious difference when you look at it," said Ms. Abugo, whose mother, a nurse, stayed home until Ms. Abugo was in first grade.

Whoa, way to set feminism back, there! "Go to work and your child will be a deviant!" What is this, 60's propaganda?

And when she mentions the "obvious difference", I wonder if she's referring to real people or baddies she's seen on the news?

It is a complicated issue and one that most schools have not addressed. The women they are counting on to lead society are likely to marry men who will make enough money to give them a real choice about whether to be full-time mothers, unlike those women who must work out of economic necessity.Because women who truly enjoy their chosen professions and the power and pleasure of earning their own money are such anomalies as to not even

Re: *headcementblock*

[kleiosgirl]

"those women who must work out of economic necessity" My mother was one of "those women" because she DIDN'T go to college because a MAN was supposed to take care of her and that man BEAT her and SLEPT around. My oldest aunt didn't go to college because her husband was supposed to support her and he had a psychotic BREAKDOWN, wouldn't take his meds, BEAT her and left her with THREE kids to raise.

I wonder if the "obvious difference" she's talking about is my MA degree or my full fellowship to a doctoral program at USC? Perhaps it's my cousin's near perfect score on the SAT's at the age of 15 or her full ride to SCRIPPS? I'm sick and tired of people throwing around the "working mother" crap all the time. My other aunt (who does have a degree and a husband to support her) doesn't work and her kids are fucked up because she sends them to day-care all the time. And I know a lot of stay at home moms who spend their days ignoring their kids. There is something to be said for quality time.

[nerdy_kiki]

I loved the idea of the article and the thoughts behind it

just some of the phrasing ticked me off

[nerdy_kiki]

kk, to clarify, I loved how it showed that women believe they have a choice today, and that they aren't shunted to one end or the other

[krazyhippie]

Correction: middle- and upper-class women believe they have a choice today.