055// bachelorette [keep fucking with my dignity remix]

[felinemystique]

Unfortunately, it looks like I'm in the market for a new personal chef/errand boy. Apparently, my current one is getting married, and didn't even have the courtesy to give me notice in person.

Serious applicants only, please. I'm feeling rather delicate, and can't take my emotions being toyed with any longer.

Comments

[handy_psychic]

Ahhh, how the heart can be broken so carelessly.

I can't cook much, but I CAN bake... that's a start, right?

[felinemystique]

More importantly, I know you're not the kind of man who'd leave for the first pretty face.

What are your best dishes?

[handy_psychic]

True, true. I'm just not the wandering type~ ♥

I make good cake! ... And a decent pie. And instant ramen. Oh, oh, and toast. I make many varieties of toast.

[felinemystique]

Cake and pie are definitely in demand in this house. I'll have to put you on the list.

[burntorangesky]

Allow me to extend my sincere condolences for your loss, as well as ask you to pass along my congratulations to the lucky man.

Alas, I am something of a mediocre chef at best, but I hope you find a taker soon.

[felinemystique]

Thank you, Fred. I should have seen it coming after the first time they ran off to do science-y things together.

Obviously that was the beginning of the end.

[burntorangesky]

But of course. How could we have missed such an obvious sign? It is clear now that this has been coming for some time.

[felinemystique]

Whatever will I do now? I can't imagine going back to buying takeout. Not to mention actually doing my own errands.

Pinged

[crownofsnow]

I'm an okay cook but I think Dash would be perfect for errands. You just have to pay him in donuts.

[felinemystique]

I hadn't considered getting two, but that might be more convenient all around. And donuts are easy enough to manage.

[crownofsnow]

Pizza can always be a special reward but, keep the booze away from him. He doesn't do too well running while he's drunk.

[felinemystique]

Good to know. After all, I can't have my employees making me look bad.

clearly you needed to put out more, girlfriend /snap snap

[man_genius]

I'll rent him back to you.

man cannot live on science alone. he'll come crawling back!!

[felinemystique]

There you are, you hussy. Adding pimp to your resume, now?

...that was prolly the wrong thing to say to him

[man_genius]

[Ouch.]

[felinemystique]

[You had him bring up renting people! XD there were very few places to go with that]

[snowburned]

Isn't that wonderful? You should throw him a bachelor party.

[felinemystique]

I don't know, I was looking forward to being all jilted and bitter.

[snowburned]

Nonsense. That's not a good look for you.

strikes very visible

[felinemystique]

It looks very liberating, though. A very adolescent dramatic way to blow off steam.