18 newspaper articles

[fearnoanvil]

...
bluh bluh, huge evil lord!!

this might be a little late but there is really no good time to say this other than just spitting it out.

today when i was watching armageddon, my dad was reading the daily prophet and he looked at me and said he was not proud of what is happening to the world today. normally i would just ignore him but today i paused

Comments

[magicalmiracles]

pOeTrY iN mOtIoN, jOhNbRo. :O)

[fearnoanvil]

ha ha, thanks.
i am not very good with words but someday i hope i can deliver a speech as awesome as the presidents in my movies.

[alohac]

if you trail animal crackers down my abs ill eat them

[ Yeah no he's...taking it all in, seriously. It's a good speech. John's a good kid. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that he's not going to grow up and do great things because shit like this happens. There's a few dots of ink and then: ]

no matter what happens its probably not gonna change anything
people always kill people thats the way it works
too bad movies dont exist id love to find a princess and get rich

[fearnoanvil]

wow, that is the gayest thing.
besides if i were ben affleck and if you were liv tyler, you would be too busy crying in my manly arms to eat my super romantic animal ab crackers.

no way, dude, people are inherently good, and there might be a princess out there for you.
you just have to look, you lazy fuckass.

[alohac]

well at least i got a nice rack
and im not going to cry tears for anyone
last time i looked i think you were the crying one

nah
theres too much net to surf
too many fans to ironically appease with my mad skills in verbosity and drawing

[fearnoanvil]

yeah it is very flat like kansas.
you will cry from how hard i will romance you.
oh shit.

and that is bs.
i so don't cry. well, i mean when we are not watching con air.

maybe one of your "hundreds" of fans is a princess that likes verbosity and shitty drawings!

[vampauxiliatrix]

A Truly Inspiring Speech John Egbert Even Though I Fail To See How Our Current Situation Could Be Related To Extraterrestrial Creatures Or Men Perforating Holes In Celestial Debris Which In Turn Would Make Them Rise To Hero Status

Also
What Is The Significance Of Trailing Animal Crackers On A Significant Others Abdomen
Is It A Muggle Thing

[fearnoanvil]

well, i meant they were heroes!
people are heroes! all of us, if we try!

pff, yeah, kanaya.
it is a very important muggle ritual.

[vampauxiliatrix]

Hmm
Do You Honestly Believe That
It Seems Far Too Idealistic To Me

Somehow I Find Myself Doubting The Sincerity Of Those Words

[fearnoanvil]

i dont think it is because it's true!

no, it is true!
it is the ultimate act of muggle love.
forget proposals, everyone is waiting on getting an animal cracker on their stomach.

[wrestlingwitch]

[...that's actually pretty good, Egbert. Color Lauren impressed. And thoughtful. But she doesn't do sappy stuff, not really, so she's going to go for something else]

You would include a Con Air reference.

[fearnoanvil]

con air always gets the point across, duh.
did you spot the other ones??

[wrestlingwitch]

I got the Star Wars and Deep Impact ones. I feel like I should've gotten the one with the animal crackers, though.

[fearnoanvil]

armaggedon!
and nope, it wasn't star wars.
(hint: will smith and dolphins!!)

(voice)

[italianscanspar]

[[ Here, have a voice response just so you can hear Firo clapping very, very appreciatively. ]]

(voice)

[fearnoanvil]

Haha, what!