[1st Portal] Enter the Moron

[chattersphere]

[There's a thud and a new arrival is unceremoniously dumped right in the middle of one of the lovely grassy plains.

The newcomer is quite unusual in appearance, he looks much like an over-sized beach ball made of metal with two handlebars at opposite sides. In the middle of his body is a large digital eye, complete with eyelids.

He appears to have

Comments

[soulpaths]

[Hello strange, talking, metal beach ball suddenly in the middle of this field we're wandering through.

Have an Urotsuki giving you a slight nudge with her foot rather than replying to anything you just said]

[soulpaths]

[...So that was a no, then. She frowns slightly, but she dismisses the chainsaw and it disappears, that way it was no longer out and worrying the odd metal ball.

ooc: No worries, it's all good. o/]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley visibly relaxes as she puts the chainsaw away, never mind how she does so.]

Ah, yes, thank you for sparing my life, I do honestly appreciate it. I've had enough near-death and death experiences for my fill, though I do expect there may be more along the way, she always has nasty surprises for people.

But, at least this time, we may actually have the upper hand! It'll be hard for her to do much to us without the turrets and neurotoxin, but I imagine she'll be able to come up with something horrible for us.

[OOC: Thanks! :D]

[soulpaths]

...She? [Urotsuki looks confused as she still isn't sure who you're talking about...but hey, at least this girl has finally said something now! Even if it was one word in comparison to your...hundred or so.]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley looks delighted at this, showing his excitement by rolling his eye frame around in a complete circle.] Oh! So you can talk! This is great! You probably don't have brain damage after all!

As for her, she is honestly, truly awful. She was built to run the facility, but guess what? When she was turned on, she tried to kill everybody! All the scientists and the test subjects, well, to be honest, the scientists were most of the test subjects, anyways, they had to shut her down to put a stop to that.

They tried some different things and thought they had her under control, so they turned her back on. Do you know what happened then? She actually succeeded in killing everyone!

Well...not quite everyone. There were some test subjects stored away and guess what? One of them actually defeated her. Took her out just like that. I wouldn't have expected it from a human. But there you go.

And you know what? I found that human! It turned out to be the brain damaged lady. I don't know if she had the brain damage before

[soulpaths]

... [Urotsuki was listening with a kind of morbid fascination at first...up until you started talking about getting crushed. Suddenly she's reminded of those nightmares of clowns and pillars crushing her into nothing more than a stain on the ground...

So yeah, needless to say, she looks a tad uncomfortable now with all this talk of killing and crushing.]

[chattersphere]

[He's not quite the best with human expressions and all, so he doesn't really realize her discomfort.]

But, I was lucky! There was a bird, I would have never guessed that a bird, of all things would be so useful! If it wasn't for that bird, I would have never gotten back on the Management Rail. Saved my life, it did, that bird.

Had an um...issue with another bird, but that didn't taint my memory of the lovely, glorious bird that kept me from dying.

Birds, don't you just love 'em?

[soulpaths]

[Okay, birds were easier to think about rather than crushing death, so she gives a nod in response. Birds could be nice sometimes, though her friend Madotsuki occasionally seemed to think otherwise. :|a]

[chattersphere]

Oh good! You do like birds! I've heard that some humans don't. It's a shame, that is. They're missing out on a great thing. Ah, birds.

[soulpaths]

... [There are occasionally birds around here too if that makes you happy, Wheatley, but Urotsuki ends up not saying anything about them.]

[chattersphere]

We're outside, so I'm guessing there'll be birds here too. Birds had gotten into the facility, since it was in a um...bit of disrepair. But, I'm not complaining, like I said, if it wasn't for the bird, I wouldn't even be here right now!

Wherever here is, anyways. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, as long as she's not here, it's wonderfully fine by my book.

[OOC: Sorry for this and any other slow replies, I have a bit of a cold.]

[soulpaths]

... [Urotsuki kneels slightly as if hoping to get a better look at you. You keep talking about facilities and labs and are clearly some kind of machine, but...] ...What are you, exactly?

[ooc: No worries, things happen! I hope you feel better soon. ^^;;]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley looks quite please with himself as he tells her about him.] I'm an Aperture Science Personality Core! I was built by the scientists to help oversee the facility, along with the other cores. I've held uh...several jobs throughout the facility, such as assistant to the guy who oversees the neurotoxin button, watching over the um...humans in the Relaxtion Vault, and working on a nanobot team that repairs part of the facility. However, um...I no longer hold that last position.

[OOC: Thanks! <3 I'm feeling quite a bit better than I was! :D]

[soulpaths]

...Oh. [Hmm. She's never heard of an "Aperture Science Personality Core" before, but at least that's better than constantly referring to him as "talking metal beach ball"]

[chattersphere]

There were quite a lot of cores at first, but now, there aren't so many. The facility's been around for ages. I'm one of the lucky ones, still being alive and all. Some got corrupted others just disappeared. Nobody knows what happened to them. Maybe they got lost. Wouldn't blame them if they did, Aperture is a huge place and we can't even access all of it!

[soulpaths]

... [Urotuki doesn't say anything, but she's still listening, kind of curious about this Aperture place even though it sounds like a really dangerous area to be in. :|a]