Sure, there was inauguration highlights you could be watching. Sure, there was snow that could be played in. Sure, there was homework that could be done
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Adjusting the headset she'd somehow managed to procure, Temari held up the magical Shamwow. "It's a shammy, it's a towel, it's a sponge! Look how fast it works!"
Harvey watched this all with the excitement of a six year old girl who got a pony for Christmas. "ARE YOU TELLING ME I WON'T HAVE TO USE PAPER TOWELS ANYMORE?"
"Never again will you have to spend money on sponges or paper towels," Temari confirmed, kneeling down to press the Shamwow to the carpet. "Look at that, half the water is sucked up in one light pressing."
"THAT IS AMAZING!" Harvey got down close to the floor so he could see the magic of Shamwow. "BUT, VINCE, WHAT ABOUT THE LIQUID THAT GOT UNDERNEATH THE CARPET?"
"WRONG? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG, MY WET FRIEND!" Harvey said, practically bouncing over towards Jamie. "WE'RE HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME GREAT NEW PRODUCTS THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE!"
"Did you know the average person spends up to twenty dollars a week on paper towels? Not anymore!" Temari asked, holding up the Shamwow. "Not with this baby!"
It took him a few seconds to realise that after all this time, he might finally be seeing a gremlin bite. "Put it down," Ender advised. He was feeling a little thrown off-balance yet.
This kid wasn't nearly excited enough about these products! Maybe he needed proof of their cleaning power.
"ARE YOU TIRED OF STAINS ON YOUR CLOTHES? ARE YOU AFRAID THAT KETCHUP STAIN--" Harvey paused and looked down at Ender's shirt. There was no ketchup stain. Grabbing a ketchup bottle seemingly out of nowhere, Harvey decided to fix that problem. "THERE! ARE YOU AFRAID THAT KETCHUP STAIN WON'T COME OUT?"
Off to pillage the other common rooms for something better to drink, Cal found himself in the second floor one with a tilted head and an expression that lay somewhere between bewildered and oddly entertained from only just a few seconds of observation.
Cal faltered for a moment, desperately trying to keep down any indication of a laugh or a grin or anything. His head nodded slightly with the effort and he struggled for something to say.
"WOW IS RIGHT! THIS GUY GETS IT!" Harvey shouted excitedly. "AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S GREAT, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE CLEANING POWER OF OXYCLEAN! IT'S FROM THE MAKERS OF ORANGE GLO!"
"WE CERTAINLY ARE, SON! WE'RE PROTESTING STAINS! LIKE THE ONE ON YOUR SHIRT!" Again, he noticed that this was yet another kid who kept his clothes reasonably clean. So he took a glass filled with wine (or grape juice, whatever) and tossed the liquid at Priestly.
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He was also boggling at Harvey and Temari.
"What the hell is wrong with you guys?"
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She was behaving... oddly, so he poked his room into the common room. "Are you having a seizure?"
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It took him a few seconds to realise that after all this time, he might finally be seeing a gremlin bite. "Put it down," Ender advised. He was feeling a little thrown off-balance yet.
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"ARE YOU TIRED OF STAINS ON YOUR CLOTHES? ARE YOU AFRAID THAT KETCHUP STAIN--" Harvey paused and looked down at Ender's shirt. There was no ketchup stain. Grabbing a ketchup bottle seemingly out of nowhere, Harvey decided to fix that problem. "THERE! ARE YOU AFRAID THAT KETCHUP STAIN WON'T COME OUT?"
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"...Wow," was what he managed.
And he hadn't even used it yet.
But seriously. Wow.
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". . . Are you guys protesting something, too?"
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