“You guys are the worst spies ever,” Pam announced, at the start of class. She was just getting that out of the way now ( Read more... )

“BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEEEEEEP,” enthused Pam, as she raced around the classroom, eyes wide. “BEEP BEEP BEEP WOOOOP WOOOOOOOOP WOOOOOOP ( Read more... )

Today, students would find that Cheryl and Pam had not actually managed to make the Danger Shop into anything. No, instead, they were in a normal classroom, but for a given value of normal, per usual.

For one thing, Cheryl and Pam being anywhere made it automatically not normal, especially given Cheryl's particularly glazed expression and the tube ( Read more... )

"Pam, let's think of things we'd rather do on a Friday morning than be here," Cheryl said thoughtfully. "I can think of...seventeen ( Read more... )

Class was certainly in for a treat today. And by "treat," of course, we mean "another life-scarring experience ( Read more... )

Happy Halloween! Your teachers hadn’t remembered to bring candy -- but really, wasn’t that a good thing? Considering Pam and Cheryl, they probably would have given you weird unlabeled pills and insisted they were SweetTarts.

Your teachers were, however, in Halloween costumes. Pam was wearing a blonde-tinted-down-to-pink wig, a black leotard with ( Read more... )

"Ugh, no, seriously, why are you here?"

Granted, Cheryl usually greeted the class that way, yes, but today she meant it for another reason.

"There is a fucking thingie you should all be at." She waved vaguely toward town. "Like, a wholesome fall thingie, right? And Pam's hungover, and I want to be hungover so ( Read more... )

When students filtered in today, they'd find Cheryl and Pam both rooting through the desk at the front of the room.

"Goddammit, I know I stuck them in a drawer in here," came one especially shrill voice, as Cheryl dug her hand deeper into the desk. "How long before gummy bears go bad, anyway? Do they go bad? I don't care ( Read more... )

Today, Cheryl was actually lying on the desk at the front of the room, her eyes shut with an ice pack over them. That would probably explain why she hadn't noticed that no one was there until she started talking.

( Hungover Teachers and an Empty Classroom )

Students today would be -- relieved? disappointed? mildly amused? -- to note that the well-dressed James Bund wannabe was no longer in front of class with the other two. But unfortunately for them -- or fortunately, if they took this class for the train wreck factor -- Pam and Cheryl were there like always.

( Stake-outs! )