four days, three weeks, five months, two years
Title: four days, three weeks, five months, two years
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: R
Word Count: 7375
Spoilers: Nothing. Its AU.
Disclaimer: © BBC
Companion Piece: two years, five months, three weeks, four days
A/N: For this piece I grabbed a few ideas from kinkme_merlin. Prompt #8: Arthur/Merlin, Facebook stalking. Prompt #8: Public kissing Merlin and Arthur are out shopping/walking around the city when a street preacher starts shouting in general about being 'saved' by God, and starts going on about homosexuality. Pissed off, Arthur kisses Merlin in front of him, and just keeps on kissing, attracting quite an audience. Or vice versa They can be in a relationship or not. It's up to the author.
year one, month eleven.
“Hi, is this Arthur Pendragon?” Arthur heard a woman speak to him through his mobile. He wasn’t familiar with her voice.
“Yes it is. Who’s this?”
“Oh Arthur, dear, this is Hunith. I’m Merlin’s mother.”
“Ms. Emrys? Is something wrong?” Arthur’s mind went into overdrive, thinking something bad had happened to Merlin.
“Oh, dear no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. Everything is fine,” she sounded genuinely sorry and he felt stupid for imagining the worst.
“Oh ok. I just thought…” he was having trouble calming down now that he’d already gotten so worked up.
“No, no everything’s fine. I just wanted to say hello. How has your day been?”
“I’ve been alright. Had a couple of classes today and a pick-up footy match with some mates.” He wasn’t sure where she’d gotten his phone number but didn’t think it was a good idea to ask.
“Well Arthur, I’ve been planning to come visit Merlin next weekend and since he’s dodged every chance to introduce us to each other I decided I’d take care of it myself. I think he’s nervous for me to meet you.”
Arthur said, “Yeah that’s probably true. But I would love to meet you, Ms. Emrys.”
“Oh please, Arthur, call me Hunith.” Arthur and Hunith made plans for when she would be in town and she made him promise not to talk to Merlin about it, which turned out to be more difficult than Arthur would have thought.
day two.
It was an unspoken custom that the moment you reached a computer after having met someone new, you had to look up his page on Facebook.
Even not knowing Merlin’s last name, Arthur found him easily enough because his first name was so uncommon. He knew that this Merlin Emrys was the bloke he was looking for, though he felt a frown crease his mouth when he saw Merlin’s profile picture invaded by a dark woman, with curly hair and a beautifully striking face. Arthur found that Merlin commanded the attention of the photo, though, with his bright eyes, dark hair and almost too pale skin in comparison. He wore a gray tee shirt with the phrase "Nerds Like it Wordy" sprawled across it in black Courier font. He felt himself smirk.
He clicked on Merlin’s profile picture twice so he could see the comments on it. The caption explained that this was his best mate, Gwen, who had terrible taste in films.
Gwen (Guinevere) Just because I don't like what you do
doesn't mean I've awful taste, Merlin.
Sat at 4:52pm
Merlin Emrys No self-respecting straight female denies the
shagability of Jude Law.
Sat at 5:14pm
Lancelot hey do when they've got someone like ME to shag!
Sun at 2:11pm
Lancelot they* also, emrys, you're really gay
Sun at 2:14pm
Merlin Emrys Cheers, Lance. At least I'm not failing calculus.
For the second time.
Sun at 3:32pm
Lancelot lies!
Sun at 9:51pm
Gwen (Guinevere) You're failing?!
Sun at 10:11pm
Arthur clicked on Gwen’s name and could see that she was in a relationship with this bloke, Lancelot, who was peeking up from behind Gwen in her picture and pretending to eat her head. Arthur laughed and for some reason he felt relieved that this woman was just Merlin’s friend, which was stupid because he’d already agreed to go on a date with him. Arthur clicked the back button until he could see Merlin’s profile information again.
Merlin’s current status proclaimed, “I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde.” His relationship status said ‘Single’ and he was interested in men. Arthur gave him credit for being honest about it, whereas his own page had no answer for that category. It wasn’t that Arthur was uncomfortable with people knowing he was bisexual, he just found that they would shy away from him when it was one of the first things they learned about him.
He asked himself why he had thought Merlin was gay to begin with, but couldn’t really put a finger on the answer. Merlin wasn’t flamboyant in any way, but something about him gave the impression that females were not his conquest. This did not bother Arthur in the slightest. After spending thirty minutes reading through Merlin’s wall posts, Arthur finally clicked on ‘send request’ and hopped into the shower.
month ten.
“…and then I left,” Arthur said, finishing the story.
“You did what?” Morgana replied almost immediately, making her ‘I can’t believe I’m related to someone as utterly idiotic as you’ face, which then twisted into a ‘it would be better for everyone if you just died’ look. “Are you trying to win the title of biggest wanker in the world or are you truly that clueless?”
Arthur considered his possible responses. Since he could only come up with ‘yes, I probably am,’ he decided silence was a better idea.
“Right,” Morgana said and she sighed. “Arthur, your reaction is fairly hypocritical when you are already aware that extrasensory perception exists. It kept you from breaking your arm once, if I recall correctly.”
“Yeah well, you enjoyed that one a little too much if you ask me,” Arthur mumbled weakly. She was right. Morgana had had the ability of precognition since she was a child and while it was creepy at first, it became a household novelty after so long.
“Do you love him?” Morgana asked seriously.
“Yes. I do. I did. I…don’t know.” He did love Merlin, but there was something boiling in his chest, something akin to duplicity. He felt like he should have been told about this, rather than finding out in a haphazard manner. Arthur was now running through the list of other times that Merlin might have used his ability around Arthur and been dishonest about it.
Apparently he was as transparent as cellophane, because Morgana said, “Arthur, don’t make this about you, you egotistical prat. Merlin didn’t tell you outright because if he had, you would’ve run off after the first date. He handled it exactly the way any person would’ve. People are more likely to accept something of this nature if they have had the chance to get to know the person properly. If not, you would’ve finished with him and that would be that.”
Arthur really wanted to argue that it was completely untrue, but he wasn’t so thick to believe such a lie. He said nothing, though he was certain that even if he had said something, Morgana would be annoyed with him regardless.
“You love him, Arthur, and letting him slip away because of something so small and basically harmless is ridiculous. If you’re going to give up on something you spent ten months building, you deserve to be alone and miserable and I will not feel sorry for you in the least.”
Arthur knew this to be the end of the conversation. Morgana had a way of letting you know that the words she said were final and discussion was no longer needed.
Morgana was a little too like their father for her own good.
year two, month two.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your beautiful bride.”
Arthur spent the entire ceremony staring at Merlin who was standing next to Lancelot. Arthur didn’t see Merlin smarten up very often but he really should because Arthur was pretty certain everyone at the reception could tell that he couldn’t keep his hands off his partner and really, who could?
After she danced with Merlin, Gwen asked Arthur to dance with her while Lancelot and Merlin raided the bar. Arthur and Lancelot had gotten close over the past two years so Arthur was happy for the both of them.
“Thank you, Arthur,” Gwen told him.
“For what?” Arthur asked, because he wasn’t aware of doing anything recently to warrant a thank you.
“For everything. For running into Merlin in the library and asking him out and loving him the way you do. I’ve never seen him so happy and I know it’s because you treat him the way that he deserves. And I’m so glad that he has you in his life.”
Arthur had heard this sort of thing from Hunith, but it sounded different from Gwen. It sounded urgent, with an edge. “Why are you saying this, Gwen?”
“We’re erm, Lance and I are moving to the States.”
“What? When?” Arthur narrowed his eyes. There was a reason she was telling him this and he had a feeling it was because she didn’t want to tell Merlin herself.
“A few months. Lance has gotten a good job over there. Great pay. We couldn’t turn it down since we’d be able to live better there than we would here.”
“You haven’t told Merlin. How long have you known?” He was a bit peeved with her just then.
“We found out a couple of weeks ago. Look, Arthur, I didn’t want to give him time to make a big fuss about it. And you know he will.” She eyed him, her eyes shining from guilt.
Arthur felt oddly protective of Merlin and he thought it was a little underhanded of Gwen to be trying to get Arthur to talk to her best mate for her. “Well I’m happy for you two. But I’m not telling him. He’s your friend, Gwen, and you need to tell him before you are packing to leave. You and Lancelot are the closest mates he’s had for the past five years and it’s going to be hard for him to see you both leave the country at the same time. I know you’re trying to spare him, but he really doesn’t need you to protect his feelings anymore. He’s a lot stronger than you think.” Arthur was pretty certain that Gwen still saw Merlin as the shy and reserved bloke he was two years ago, but Merlin had grown up a lot since he started dating Arthur and so had Arthur.
Gwen went to Merlin when the song ended and Arthur sat down and waited for them to be finished. When Merlin made his way toward Arthur he was downtrodden and Arthur smiled apologetically at him.
“This sucks,” Merlin stated and flopped down on the bench next to Arthur. Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his own and kissed the back of it before lacing his fingers with Merlin’s.
“Yeah. They’ll be here for a few more months though, so we can spend time with them before they go.”
Merlin smiled sadly at him. “Yeah. Thanks. Gwen said that you are smarter than she thought.”
“Hang on! So what, she thought I was daft then?”
Merlin laughed. “No. She just said you had gotten to know me fairly well in two years. That you knew me better than she did sometimes.”
Arthur shrugged but he was smirking. “Well, I didn’t have much choice, did I? You basically tried to jump my bones in the library-”
“You have a selective memory, Pendragon.” Merlin kissed Arthur on the cheek.
“I saw you fucking me with your eyes, Emrys. You can’t deny it.”
“If you say so.”
Arthur huffed. “Well its no fun if you just give in!”
month three.
Arthur: Did i leave my jumper in ur room?
Merlin: Which one?
Arthur: Green & white striped 1
Merlin: Yeah, I think I saw it when I washed my shirts yesterday.
Arthur: U already doin my washing, mate?
Merlin: Don’t get used to it.
Arthur: I will bring the rest of my clothes over tonite
Merlin: If you don’t bring Chinese with, you can’t come in.
Arthur: Thats cruel. What if its cold?
Merlin: I’ll throw you out a Snuggie.
Arthur: U actually own 1?!
Merlin: No.
Arthur: Liar
Merlin: I hate you.
Arthur: Because i’m so fit?
Merlin: Because you’re a prat.
Merlin: …and fit.
Arthur: ;)
year one, month five.
“Ok I lied. You can’t bring all your shit to my place. You’ve got too much shit. You’re going to have to sell some of this.” Arthur was certain that even with the large size of his flat, Merlin’s 100 boxes of crap were not going to fit. “How did you even manage to fit this much stuff in your flat?”
“It’s called organisation, Arthur. It works well when you’re bright enough to know what to do.”
Arthur turned on him. “Did you just call me stupid, Emrys?” he didn’t let Merlin answer, rather he picked him up and threw him on the stripped mattress that was lying on the floor next to them. Arthur loomed over him, smirking and looking very pleased with himself. Merlin wasn’t a fool though and he’d hooked an ankle behind Arthur’s calf and tugged him forward before Arthur could even react, much less stop himself from falling forward.
It wasn’t the smartest idea, seeing as his head collided with Merlin’s stomach and he was pretty certain Merlin had just sprained his ankle from Arthur’s decent. Arthur shook his head as he rolled off of Merlin, who was groaning. “Who’s the idiot here again?” he asked crudely, but he rubbed Merlin’s stomach and checked out his ankle anyway.
“I’m starting to think you’re rubbing off on me.”
“Well there’s nothing bad about that. Besides, it looks as if my common sense trumps your organisational sense, so great job, mate.”
“You’re an arse, Pendragon.”
“I have got a rather nice one, haven’t I?” Arthur pretended to check out his own behind.
“Can’t argue you there,” Merlin agreed and Arthur kissed him to shut him up.
week two.
Merlin Emrys I’ve got a boyfriend. ;)
33 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon you better not have! i just asked you to be
mine!
29 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys Sorry about that mate. Plate's all full now. Better
luck next time!
27 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys is now in a relationship with Arthur Pendragon.
22 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon i knew you couldn't resist me
18 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys Well you have got loads of money...
16 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon Oi!
13 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys :P
7 minutes ago
Lancelot you two make me sick
5 minutes ago
Gwen (Guinevere) Shut up, Lancelot, it's cute. Congrats guys!
3 minutes ago
Lancelot i've just lost my lunch
1 minute ago
year two, month four.
“Do you think we should wait to leave?” Gwen asked Arthur quietly in the kitchen.
Arthur shook his head. “No, that wouldn’t help him any, Gwen. He would feel like he was holding you here and he’d never forgive himself for it.”
She sighed. “Well Lance could go ahead and I could stay for a couple of weeks so that-”
Arthur put a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry so much, Gwen. He knows you care and that’s really all he needs, besides time. I do need you to do something for me, if you could?”
“Of course, Arthur, what is it?”
Arthur gave her the information for Hunith’s memorial. “The papers need this and so does the funeral home. I’ve got most of it covered, but can you ring Will for me?”
“I will. Anything else?”
“Not that I can think of. I’ve got your number though. Thanks Gwen.” Arthur kissed her on the cheek. He began to pull back but she put her hand on his shoulder and hugged him.
“No Arthur, thank you. Thank you for taking care of him,” Gwen said quietly into his ear and then let him go.
Arthur nodded and smiled flatly at her. When she’d left, Arthur made Merlin a cup of tea and sat down next to him on the sofa. Merlin was wrapped up in blankets as though he were fighting against the cold, though it really wasn’t chilly in the flat. He had fallen asleep with a picture of Hunith and himself in his hands. Arthur took it and set it on the table and contemplated waking him up.
He hadn’t gotten to sleep until five in the morning and even then he was only asleep for two hours. Then he started fretting over Hunith’s funeral arrangements, which Arthur promptly took over and wouldn’t let him worry about. Hunith had left instructions on what she wanted after her death, so there really weren’t any decisions to make; Arthur was glad for that because Merlin was the only one to make them and he needed time to grieve.
Arthur leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, brushing back his hair, which was slick with sweat. He sighed and sat down the mug of tea and started to shake Merlin awake. “Merlin, you’re sweating in that thing.” Merlin blearily complied with Arthur, letting him unwrap his fortress of blankets before leaning into the blond and nuzzling at his neck. “Alright, let’s get you in the shower, love.”
He didn’t really have to, but Arthur helped Merlin undress and get into the shower and he washed Merlin himself, even though Merlin protested half-heartedly. Halfway through Merlin started to cry so Arthur pulled him close, rubbing one hand through his slick hair and the other pressed protectively at the small of Merlin’s back.
Merlin clung to Arthur’s shoulders, digging his nails into Arthur’s skin as though he were worried he’d fall or Arthur would let go of him. The dark haired man sobbed into the crook of Arthur’s neck and the blond continued whispering into his ear softly. “I love you so much, Merlin. And I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”
Ten minutes passed and Merlin’s cries turned into sniffles and he smiled sadly at Arthur when he pulled away. “Thank you, Arthur.”
The blond shook his head. “You don’t have to thank me.”
Merlin ignored him and asked, “Did I hurt your shoulders?”
“No,” Arthur lied automatically, but Merlin turned him around and sighed. Arthur stood there while Merlin fingered at the marks he’d made and then he was kissing Arthur’s shoulders and the blond couldn’t help but sigh at the feel of it. When he started to grow hard at Merlin’s caresses he felt so guilty he wanted to bang his head against the shower wall. But then Merlin wrapped his hands around Arthur’s waist from behind and Arthur could feel Merlin’s erection pressed against his backside and he could not hold in the moan that threatened to escape. He was going to go to hell.
Merlin slid his hand down Arthur’s front, about to wrap his slender fingers around Arthur, but the blond stopped him. “Merlin,” he said low and warningly.
“It’s alright, Arthur. I want to,” but Arthur did not believe him. Well, he didn’t believe it was right in any way, so he turned around in Merlin’s arms and kissed him deeply, fingering the wet locks on the back of his neck. Merlin pressed himself into Arthur and soon his back was connecting with the shower wall as Merlin rubbed rough friction between the two of them that made Arthur’s head spin with want. Before he really knew what was happening, he had hiked Merlin’s legs around his waist and was carrying him-wet and dripping-to the bed and he made love to him tenderly. Arthur kissed every part of Merlin’s body he could reach and whispered to him the whole while and was happy that Merlin could forget, even if only for a moment, about the pain in his heart.
year one.
Since Arthur had done such an amazing job with Merlin’s birthday present-Merlin’s words, not his own-Merlin insisted on planning their anniversary on his own. When they’d ‘finished’ in the library, Merlin drug Arthur by the hand down the street.
“Where are we going, Merlin?” Arthur whined, shrill and childlike, at him.
“I’m not going to tell you, so hush. And you call me the girly one...”
Arthur could not help himself-he barked out a laugh. “I know you are not trying to say that I am in any way feminine, Emrys.”
Merlin looked over at him and cocked one eyebrow. “Well…”
“Oh. Oh! This I’ve got to hear, Merlin. Please do tell me how you think I am in any way like a girl.” Arthur was smug because there was not a single thing about him that suggested femininity and he couldn’t believe Merlin of all people would say so.
“Well you have at least three different types of moisturizers and exfoliators. You take twenty minutes to get dressed, because you try on two or three full outfits. I’ve seen you stand in front of the mirror and muck around with your fringe for at least ten minutes-”
“Merlin. None of that is even remotely feminine. Pendragons are not as smooth and supple as the day we popped out of the womb, unlike some people. We actually have to work at it.”
“I am not smooth and supple!” Merlin replied, a bit too loudly, and received some strange looks from passersby.
Arthur laughed so hard he had to stop so he could breathe correctly. “Ok, that made up for the calling me a bird, Merlin, it really did.” Merlin gave him a faux pouty look and Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist. “Are we almost there yet, cause my feet are getting tired…”
“Yes, we’re here.” They were at a park and Arthur was a little confused.
“Ok. Not quite as good as the first stop, Merlin,” but then Merlin lead him forward and to a picnic sitting in wait at which Arthur gawked. “Did you make all this?”
It was more of a feast than a picnic, but Arthur wasn’t going to complain about that. “Yeah, of course. I thought it would be nice.” Merlin smiled at him, genuine and beautiful and Arthur kissed him for rather longer than was needed in a public setting but it was well deserved.
month ten.
Arthur hadn’t talked to Merlin in a week and a half. Lancelot and Gwen, demanding to know why Merlin would not tell them what had happened and why he and Arthur were fighting to begin with, had already cornered him outside his room and threatened to have him publically beaten if he didn’t fix what he’d broken. Arthur had to defend himself if he hoped to make it through the rest of the week unscathed.
He had spent the last half of the week trying to figure out a way to apologise to Merlin for being an arse and also show that it really didn’t matter to him. It didn’t. He had been shocked by it initially, but like Morgana had told him, it wasn’t something he’d never seen before.
He came up with the perfect plan and after all his preparation, he was fairly certain he could sweep Merlin off his feet again and maybe even get make-up sex. The latter was a goal he was hoping to reach because a week and a half was a long time to go without sex, especially when the one he got to shag was Merlin.
Arthur made his way to Merlin’s room and knocked on the door. While he waited for an answer, he felt his hands start to sweat, which made him feel like a git and he considered fleeing to be a really great idea just then. He thought that Merlin wasn’t going to answer as three minutes ticked by, but finally a pathetic sight presented itself to him.
Merlin’s appearance made Arthur’s heart sink into his gut. Merlin’s clothes were wrinkled and dirty, like he hadn’t done his wash in a while. He wore an oversized dark green hoodie with worn wrists that looked like they’d been used as tissues more than once this past week. He had only boxers on beneath the sweatshirt and a pair of black socks that covered his ankles.
Arthur would not have thought this was so bad until he actually looked at Merlin’s face which looked abnormally pale-even for him-with dark circles under his brilliant blue eyes which looked bloodshot. The fact that it was Arthur’s fault that this man looked so pitiful and probably felt loads worse was a pretty hard slap in the face. Arthur wanted to forego his plan and just hold Merlin to his chest and rock him back and forth like a baby, but he had to do this to prove his feelings to Merlin, if he still could.
When Merlin recognised him, Arthur was afraid he’d start crying, but he didn’t. He also didn’t say anything, which the blond rightly deserved. Steeling his nerves, he looked into Merlin’s face and held up a piece of poster board between his two hands. He tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.
So I know this prat. (That's Me)
A while ago he met this really amazing bloke. (That's You)
When Arthur was satisfied that he had Merlin's attention and that he'd had enough time to read what he'd written, he moved on to the next poster board with his messy handwriting splashed across it in black marker.
This bloke charms Prat with his muscled physique, inane confidence, and dim wit.
muscled physique = lanky&skinny
inane confidence = awkwardly adorable
dim wit = smart as fuck
Arthur waited, wishing that Merlin would smile at him then, but he didn’t. He didn't look pissed, per se, but maybe he was too tired to conjure up the emotion. Arthur switched to the next sheet.
Charmer doesn't tell Prat, but he's actually a
member of the secret society called the X-Men.
He offered a smile to Merlin again and was surprised to see the dark haired man fighting a smile himself. It sent a rush of happiness through Arthur that he hadn't noticed was missing. The blond switched to the next sheet of cardboard.
But Charmer doesn't know that Prat's sister is actually
an X-(wo)Man too. She sees the future in her dreams and is
usually right (and smug about it).
Merlin was laughing now and Arthur thought about dropping the cards and embracing the git then and there, but he hadn’t actually apologised yet.
Prat is a douche and kind of a huge
wanker for leaving Charmer by himself on his birthday.
In fact, Prat is pretty certain he’s going to be making up for
that for a very long time.
Arthur produced the last sheet that he had made.
Though he doesn't deserve it, Prat would
like to know if Charmer will forgive him for
being an idiot and maybe let him snog him again.
And also, I didn't steal this idea from Love Actually, because
I'm fitter than that bloke was. And you're a lot sexier than Keira Knightley.
Arthur pouted his bottom lip and Merlin shook his head but grinned like a loon so Arthur moved forward and scooped the skinny man into his arms and spun him around in a circle, knocking Merlin’s ankle into the doorframe and postponing his snogfest until Merlin had iced his ankle. After ten years of waiting Arthur finally kissed Merlin tenderly and he was pretty certain he would’ve been lost without this man in his life.
“You will be,” Merlin said to him later and Arthur looked at him quizzically. “You’ll be making up for it for a long time.”
Arthur sighed but really, he couldn’t have been happier.
year one, month four.
Arthur felt the rush of adrenaline run through his body as he kicked and just squeezed the ball between the goalkeeper and the right side of the goal. His team began jumping and sliding around in the mud, rain pelting down the back of their jerseys but not caring because they’d won and just barely too.
They hoisted Arthur up sloppily and almost dropped him on his head, but caught him and were able to lift him and chant his name as they massed together on the field. Arthur beamed at everyone, crooked teeth shining like a beacon above his teammates, guiding them to the locker rooms. Arthur almost missed the flash of dark hair and pale skin in the bleachers, but he didn’t. He patted the men carrying him and asked them to put him down, which they did only begrudgingly and told him to meet them after for a pint.
Arthur jogged up into the stands, smiling at Merlin when he reached him. “What are you doing here, Merlin? It’s pissing it down!”
Merlin smiled. “Congratulations, Arthur. You did great!”
Arthur mirrored the grin and wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist. “Seriously, what are you doing here? Why would you sit in the rain to watch me play?”
Merlin gave an exasperated look. “You really have to ask, Arthur? You look positively radiant when you are playing and I like to see it-that joy and excitement that sits in your eyes and in your smile. Why wouldn’t I watch, really?”
Arthur sighed back at him. “You are so full of it, Merlin.”
Merlin looked put out. “Excuse me?”
“You are excused.” Arthur smirked.
“I am not full of it.”
“Yes, yes you are. You just wanted to see me get all soaking wet in my jersey-all muddy and slick so you could rub yourself all over me and not feel the least bit shameful.”
Merlin’s eyes practically rolled out of his head. “Right, Arthur. You really are the most egotistical prat in the world.”
“Hmm, but I am your prat, Emrys.”
Merlin laughed. “I suppose you are.”
“Well,” Arthur drawled, letting one of his hands slink down from Merlin’s waist and cup his arse, “don’t you want to snog me in the rain?”
Merlin jumped a little at the squeeze. “Erm, I guess so,” Merlin replied, trying to feign disinterest.
“Oh please, Merlin. You can barely keep your hands off me. Don’t try to be coy.”
“I believe it is you who is groping me inappropriately in public, in the pouring rain, in the stands of a muddy football pitch.” Merlin leaned into Arthur and contradicted his entire statement.
“You’re very observant, Merlin. Where’d you pick up those amazing skills to state the obvious?”
“It’s the magic. That’s why I generally know a lot more than you do. I do not fault you these shortcoming as I know you can’t help being more dim-witted than I, who so very obviously is-”
Arthur decided to make him shut up, as he did quite often, really, but he never heard a protest from Merlin about it, so he was only happy to fulfill the role. Arthur tugged at Merlin’s bottom while he kissed the man and felt Merlin melt into his touch entirely. He was fisting at the back of Arthur’s jersey trying to pull himself closer which was not at all possible.
Arthur pulled back with a smirk. “Wanna hit the showers?”
“Yes, please,” Merlin practically purred at him and Arthur’s grin grew. He was going to make a knob jockey of Merlin yet.
month two.
“I’m sorry, Merlin, I don’t think this is going to work out between us,” Arthur said, dead serious, as the two of them sat across one another eating breakfast.
Merlin practically choked on his coffee and barely missed spitting it all over Arthur. “W-what?”
Arthur shook his head slow and deliberate. “I don’t think I can date someone who thinks ninjas are better than pirates.” He was staring intensely into Merlin’s face as he spoke.
Merlin seemed to take this as completely serious because he looked paler and sicker than usual. “Arthur, are you serious?”
Arthur threw up his hands. “Of course I’m serious! No one can deny the fantastic that is the pirate! Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were pirates! It doesn’t get any better than that!”
“Arthur, all they did was play pirates in a film. They aren’t actually pirates.”
Arthur gasped overdramatically. “What? How can you say such a thing? Johnny and Orlando were the best pirates of all time!”
“Johnny and Orlando would be dead right now if they’d actually lived in the days of pirates and Orlando Bloom is famous for Lord of the Rings not Pirates of the Caribbean.”
“Why are you arguing about the best pirates that ever lived? Aren’t you supposed to be arguing that ninjas are better?” Arthur narrowed his eyes toward Merlin, who no longer looked pale but was not giving away much emotion at all.
“I don’t have to argue that.”
“Why not?”
“Because ninjas just are better. There is no argument to be had.” Merlin was trying to keep a straight face but Arthur could see him fighting a smirk.
“You’re going to hell, Merlin Emrys, for the blasphemy that you spout!”
“Oh well. I can always ninja my way out of hell. What can you do as a pirate? Sit on a boat and sing about rum?” Merlin was smug now. Damn him.
Arthur’s mouth dropped open and he stared exasperatedly at Merlin, closing and opening his mouth again, only a few words escaping his lips. “I-you-pirates-” Arthur stammered, sadly without any sort of retort.
“I think I rest my case,” Merlin said and leaned forward to kiss Arthur. Arthur could do nothing but gawk at him and kiss back because how had he lost this argument? He always won the ninja-pirate argument! Who was this strange man and how did he have these abilities to fight against Arthur so easily?
year two, month six.
Arthur walked alongside Merlin down the streets of London, hand in hand. They were spending a few days in the city to shop around and just generally relax. Not that Arthur was really the relaxing type, especially when on holiday. Who wanted to relax on holiday when there was so much to do and see? No one in his right mind, that’s who!
“We should get a 42 inch flat screen HDTV,” Arthur piped up as though they would have to pool together money to afford one, which was obviously not an issue. Merlin did like to be included in the expenses, even if he didn’t really need to help pay and even if Arthur did not mind paying on his own. It didn’t feel like a relationship to Merlin if Arthur was always using his money and Arthur respected that. At least he knew that Merlin wasn’t after his dowry. Wait, didn’t that make him the bird in the relationship?
“Because our 38 inch one is no longer sufficient?” Merlin laughed at him.
Arthur scoffed. “We can move that to the bedroom and keep the 360 in the living room on the big telly. Blokes never look better than when they are splattering their guts over 42 inches of high definition.”
Merlin shook his head and squeezed Arthur’s hand. Arthur squeezed back reflexively. “If you think that’s best, Arthur, I’m not going to argue with you.”
“You don’t agree? I mean, I’m looking out for you too. Imagine how shagable Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. will look together in their sexual tension-filled quote unquote ‘friendship.’” Arthur tried to make finger quotes in the air but only managed the left one since Merlin’s hand was in his right.
Merlin laughed at him. “They really are just friends, Arthur.”
Arthur gave Merlin his patented disbelieving eyebrow raise. “And I suppose you think Shawn and Gus are just friends too, eh?”
“For someone who is bisexual, you are pretty adept at finding gay relationships where there really aren’t any.” Merlin was grinning at him with his half dimpled smile that made Arthur want to lick his cheek. Merlin probably wouldn’t appreciate that in public though.
“I am not bisexual,” Arthur said indignantly.
“Since when?”
“Since I became Merlin-sexual. I am not attracted to anyone besides Merlin Emrys. Blokes and birds no longer have any effect on me.”
“Arthur, I am a bloke.”
“Yes, a Merlin bloke,” Arthur said and poked him in the cheek.
“You’re completely nuts,” Merlin replied and countered Arthur’s poke with his own poke to the ribs.
When they rounded the corner of a street they could hear a male voice ringing from further down the street. A man was standing at the corner of a shop with a few people surrounding him as he gave a speech he must have given hundreds of times before. He had signs propped up around him and pamphlets spread out on a box next to him on the ground.
“The Holy Bible states, in Leviticus 18:22, ‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.'”
Arthur rolled his eyes when the man’s words reached his ears. “Here we go again,” he said, glancing at Merlin who now looked entirely uncomfortable. Even though he didn’t believe the tripe these people spouted, Arthur could tell that Merlin took every word to heart. It hurt Arthur to see Merlin so unhappy, but it also pissed him off too. Why couldn’t these idiots just mind their own damned business?
“It is clearly writ in the Bible, by our Lord God’s word, that homosexuality is an abomination and a sin and anyone who practices it will burn in Hell.”
There were murmurs of agreement from some people, while someone else who was passing by shouted, “Shut the fuck up!” Arthur had half a mind to say the same thing, but he knew that Merlin would be a little disappointed in him if he did. Their pace slowed unconsciously as they passed the man, waiting to see what he and the others listening to him would say or do.
Arthur was gripping Merlin’s hand tighter than before, telling him that he was not going to let go of him or be ashamed to hold hands with his partner. He’d told Merlin before that if they let people like this get to them, then they were always going to come out the victors of this fight. If they succeeded in making them feel ashamed about their relationship, they were always going to have fuel to keep their fires burning. Arthur wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction.
Arthur slowed to a stop in front of the man, who hadn’t seemed to notice them yet. Merlin gave him a questioning look and Arthur could tell he was worried that the blond was going to do something rash and embarrass him. Merlin was half-right about that, but Arthur had a mission that he was now determined to carry out.
The man began to scan the smallish crowd around him and when his eyes skimmed past Arthur and Merlin, Arthur placed his free hand behind Merlin’s head and pulled the startled man to him and kissed him fully-and rather passionately-in front of the naysayer and the crowd on the street. Merlin was too shocked at first to reciprocate, but eventually he leaned into the kiss and Arthur felt more than a little smug. After a few moments dragged into a few minutes, Arthur began to hear gasps of surprise, a few wolf whistles, awwww’s, and some people even applauding.
When Arthur finally pulled away from Merlin, his pale cheeks were rosy and he had a small, embarrassed smile on his face that Arthur found so adorable he leaned forward and kissed the dark haired man on the forehead. Someone cried out, “Good for you!” and the man who had been preaching was stunned into silence. Arthur shot him a huge, shit-eating grin and tugged his partner along by the hand, back down the street where they had been heading in the first place.
When they were out of eyeshot of the crowd, Merlin stopped and pushed Arthur by the shoulder half-heartedly. “Arthur! That was really stupid!”
Arthur eyed him. “I didn’t hear you complaining when I was snogging you.”
“What if someone had thrown something at us? We could have gotten hurt!”
Arthur sighed. He had wanted it to be something fun and endearing but he should have known Merlin would overreact. “Merlin, we are fine; we didn’t get hurt. And I can promise you that I would never let anyone hurt you.”
Merlin’s eyes began to shimmer, brimming with tears. “Arthur. I know that you would never let something happen to me, but you aren’t with me all the time. There may come a day when I get hurt and there won’t be anything you can do about it.”
Arthur felt his heart speeding up. His stomach clenched beneath it making him want to double over and retch. He didn’t. “No, Merlin. I will always protect-”
“Arthur,” Merlin said slowly, placing a hand on Arthur’s forearm and squeezing. Arthur refused to look Merlin in the face because he knew that Merlin would be right, whatever it is he said, and he didn’t want to hear it. He never wanted to think of the possibility of Merlin getting hurt and him not being able to protect him from it. There were so many reasons people might want to hurt him: he was gay, he had some sort of extrasensory powers, he was pale and pretty. Arthur would never forgive himself if Merlin were to get hurt.
“Arthur, I need you to promise me something.”
“Merlin, I won’t-”
“You have to. Arthur, I will leave you right now if you don’t.”
Arthur never would have expected Merlin to say something like that. He finally looked up into his face and saw that he was being serious. He really would leave Arthur if he didn’t promise him this. It hurt Arthur more than anything he could ever imagine. “What is it?”
“If I ever get hurt, you cannot blame yourself. You can’t control the universe and you cannot prevent every bad thing from happening. I know you think you are invulnerable, Arthur, but you aren’t.”
“Merlin, please,” Arthur pleaded, feeling like Merlin was ripping out his heart from the inside. Merlin just kept staring at him with that intense gaze that would make Arthur agree to murder if Merlin really wanted him to.
Merlin finally took pity on him and pulled Arthur into a hug. Arthur clung to the man like his lifeline and in some ways, Merlin was. “I love you, Arthur Pendragon, and I will do my best to protect you just as you will for me. But you cannot blame yourself for things you can’t control and if I were to die-”
“No, no, no,” Arthur mumbled feebly, feeling tears prick his eyes as he whispered into Merlin’s neck. He didn’t want to hear this-any of it. He refused to believe that Merlin might die someday and leave him alone. He never wanted to have to deal with that.
“Arthur, if I were to die for whatever reason, you can’t wait around and pine for me. You will have to move on.”
Arthur pulled back and looked into Merlin’s face. “I could never move on, Merlin. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. Ever. I don’t think I could breathe if you weren’t by my side. You are the only person I ever will love, Merlin, and you can’t ask me to look for someone else when you are the only one I want. I will promise not to blame myself, but I can never promise not to love you for the rest of my life. You know if you ask me I will do it, but please-please don’t ask me to.”
Merlin was crying and Arthur felt awful for it, but Merlin was making him cry too so really, it couldn’t be helped. Merlin nodded finally. “Ok. Ok Arthur, you’re right. I won’t make you promise that. I’m sorry.”
Arthur placed his hands on either side of Merlin’s face and kissed him. “It’s ok,” Arthur spoke against his lips. “I love you, Merlin. I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.”
Merlin smiled through his tears. “I love you too, Arthur. I will enjoy spending the rest of my life by your side.”
They kissed once more and then pulled themselves together, laced their fingers together again and walked through the streets of London and into the rest of their days together.
-fin-
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: R
Word Count: 7375
Spoilers: Nothing. Its AU.
Disclaimer: © BBC
Companion Piece: two years, five months, three weeks, four days
A/N: For this piece I grabbed a few ideas from kinkme_merlin. Prompt #8: Arthur/Merlin, Facebook stalking. Prompt #8: Public kissing Merlin and Arthur are out shopping/walking around the city when a street preacher starts shouting in general about being 'saved' by God, and starts going on about homosexuality. Pissed off, Arthur kisses Merlin in front of him, and just keeps on kissing, attracting quite an audience. Or vice versa They can be in a relationship or not. It's up to the author.
year one, month eleven.
“Hi, is this Arthur Pendragon?” Arthur heard a woman speak to him through his mobile. He wasn’t familiar with her voice.
“Yes it is. Who’s this?”
“Oh Arthur, dear, this is Hunith. I’m Merlin’s mother.”
“Ms. Emrys? Is something wrong?” Arthur’s mind went into overdrive, thinking something bad had happened to Merlin.
“Oh, dear no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. Everything is fine,” she sounded genuinely sorry and he felt stupid for imagining the worst.
“Oh ok. I just thought…” he was having trouble calming down now that he’d already gotten so worked up.
“No, no everything’s fine. I just wanted to say hello. How has your day been?”
“I’ve been alright. Had a couple of classes today and a pick-up footy match with some mates.” He wasn’t sure where she’d gotten his phone number but didn’t think it was a good idea to ask.
“Well Arthur, I’ve been planning to come visit Merlin next weekend and since he’s dodged every chance to introduce us to each other I decided I’d take care of it myself. I think he’s nervous for me to meet you.”
Arthur said, “Yeah that’s probably true. But I would love to meet you, Ms. Emrys.”
“Oh please, Arthur, call me Hunith.” Arthur and Hunith made plans for when she would be in town and she made him promise not to talk to Merlin about it, which turned out to be more difficult than Arthur would have thought.
day two.
It was an unspoken custom that the moment you reached a computer after having met someone new, you had to look up his page on Facebook.
Even not knowing Merlin’s last name, Arthur found him easily enough because his first name was so uncommon. He knew that this Merlin Emrys was the bloke he was looking for, though he felt a frown crease his mouth when he saw Merlin’s profile picture invaded by a dark woman, with curly hair and a beautifully striking face. Arthur found that Merlin commanded the attention of the photo, though, with his bright eyes, dark hair and almost too pale skin in comparison. He wore a gray tee shirt with the phrase "Nerds Like it Wordy" sprawled across it in black Courier font. He felt himself smirk.
He clicked on Merlin’s profile picture twice so he could see the comments on it. The caption explained that this was his best mate, Gwen, who had terrible taste in films.
Gwen (Guinevere) Just because I don't like what you do
doesn't mean I've awful taste, Merlin.
Sat at 4:52pm
Merlin Emrys No self-respecting straight female denies the
shagability of Jude Law.
Sat at 5:14pm
Lancelot hey do when they've got someone like ME to shag!
Sun at 2:11pm
Lancelot they* also, emrys, you're really gay
Sun at 2:14pm
Merlin Emrys Cheers, Lance. At least I'm not failing calculus.
For the second time.
Sun at 3:32pm
Lancelot lies!
Sun at 9:51pm
Gwen (Guinevere) You're failing?!
Sun at 10:11pm
Arthur clicked on Gwen’s name and could see that she was in a relationship with this bloke, Lancelot, who was peeking up from behind Gwen in her picture and pretending to eat her head. Arthur laughed and for some reason he felt relieved that this woman was just Merlin’s friend, which was stupid because he’d already agreed to go on a date with him. Arthur clicked the back button until he could see Merlin’s profile information again.
Merlin’s current status proclaimed, “I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde.” His relationship status said ‘Single’ and he was interested in men. Arthur gave him credit for being honest about it, whereas his own page had no answer for that category. It wasn’t that Arthur was uncomfortable with people knowing he was bisexual, he just found that they would shy away from him when it was one of the first things they learned about him.
He asked himself why he had thought Merlin was gay to begin with, but couldn’t really put a finger on the answer. Merlin wasn’t flamboyant in any way, but something about him gave the impression that females were not his conquest. This did not bother Arthur in the slightest. After spending thirty minutes reading through Merlin’s wall posts, Arthur finally clicked on ‘send request’ and hopped into the shower.
month ten.
“…and then I left,” Arthur said, finishing the story.
“You did what?” Morgana replied almost immediately, making her ‘I can’t believe I’m related to someone as utterly idiotic as you’ face, which then twisted into a ‘it would be better for everyone if you just died’ look. “Are you trying to win the title of biggest wanker in the world or are you truly that clueless?”
Arthur considered his possible responses. Since he could only come up with ‘yes, I probably am,’ he decided silence was a better idea.
“Right,” Morgana said and she sighed. “Arthur, your reaction is fairly hypocritical when you are already aware that extrasensory perception exists. It kept you from breaking your arm once, if I recall correctly.”
“Yeah well, you enjoyed that one a little too much if you ask me,” Arthur mumbled weakly. She was right. Morgana had had the ability of precognition since she was a child and while it was creepy at first, it became a household novelty after so long.
“Do you love him?” Morgana asked seriously.
“Yes. I do. I did. I…don’t know.” He did love Merlin, but there was something boiling in his chest, something akin to duplicity. He felt like he should have been told about this, rather than finding out in a haphazard manner. Arthur was now running through the list of other times that Merlin might have used his ability around Arthur and been dishonest about it.
Apparently he was as transparent as cellophane, because Morgana said, “Arthur, don’t make this about you, you egotistical prat. Merlin didn’t tell you outright because if he had, you would’ve run off after the first date. He handled it exactly the way any person would’ve. People are more likely to accept something of this nature if they have had the chance to get to know the person properly. If not, you would’ve finished with him and that would be that.”
Arthur really wanted to argue that it was completely untrue, but he wasn’t so thick to believe such a lie. He said nothing, though he was certain that even if he had said something, Morgana would be annoyed with him regardless.
“You love him, Arthur, and letting him slip away because of something so small and basically harmless is ridiculous. If you’re going to give up on something you spent ten months building, you deserve to be alone and miserable and I will not feel sorry for you in the least.”
Arthur knew this to be the end of the conversation. Morgana had a way of letting you know that the words she said were final and discussion was no longer needed.
Morgana was a little too like their father for her own good.
year two, month two.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your beautiful bride.”
Arthur spent the entire ceremony staring at Merlin who was standing next to Lancelot. Arthur didn’t see Merlin smarten up very often but he really should because Arthur was pretty certain everyone at the reception could tell that he couldn’t keep his hands off his partner and really, who could?
After she danced with Merlin, Gwen asked Arthur to dance with her while Lancelot and Merlin raided the bar. Arthur and Lancelot had gotten close over the past two years so Arthur was happy for the both of them.
“Thank you, Arthur,” Gwen told him.
“For what?” Arthur asked, because he wasn’t aware of doing anything recently to warrant a thank you.
“For everything. For running into Merlin in the library and asking him out and loving him the way you do. I’ve never seen him so happy and I know it’s because you treat him the way that he deserves. And I’m so glad that he has you in his life.”
Arthur had heard this sort of thing from Hunith, but it sounded different from Gwen. It sounded urgent, with an edge. “Why are you saying this, Gwen?”
“We’re erm, Lance and I are moving to the States.”
“What? When?” Arthur narrowed his eyes. There was a reason she was telling him this and he had a feeling it was because she didn’t want to tell Merlin herself.
“A few months. Lance has gotten a good job over there. Great pay. We couldn’t turn it down since we’d be able to live better there than we would here.”
“You haven’t told Merlin. How long have you known?” He was a bit peeved with her just then.
“We found out a couple of weeks ago. Look, Arthur, I didn’t want to give him time to make a big fuss about it. And you know he will.” She eyed him, her eyes shining from guilt.
Arthur felt oddly protective of Merlin and he thought it was a little underhanded of Gwen to be trying to get Arthur to talk to her best mate for her. “Well I’m happy for you two. But I’m not telling him. He’s your friend, Gwen, and you need to tell him before you are packing to leave. You and Lancelot are the closest mates he’s had for the past five years and it’s going to be hard for him to see you both leave the country at the same time. I know you’re trying to spare him, but he really doesn’t need you to protect his feelings anymore. He’s a lot stronger than you think.” Arthur was pretty certain that Gwen still saw Merlin as the shy and reserved bloke he was two years ago, but Merlin had grown up a lot since he started dating Arthur and so had Arthur.
Gwen went to Merlin when the song ended and Arthur sat down and waited for them to be finished. When Merlin made his way toward Arthur he was downtrodden and Arthur smiled apologetically at him.
“This sucks,” Merlin stated and flopped down on the bench next to Arthur. Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his own and kissed the back of it before lacing his fingers with Merlin’s.
“Yeah. They’ll be here for a few more months though, so we can spend time with them before they go.”
Merlin smiled sadly at him. “Yeah. Thanks. Gwen said that you are smarter than she thought.”
“Hang on! So what, she thought I was daft then?”
Merlin laughed. “No. She just said you had gotten to know me fairly well in two years. That you knew me better than she did sometimes.”
Arthur shrugged but he was smirking. “Well, I didn’t have much choice, did I? You basically tried to jump my bones in the library-”
“You have a selective memory, Pendragon.” Merlin kissed Arthur on the cheek.
“I saw you fucking me with your eyes, Emrys. You can’t deny it.”
“If you say so.”
Arthur huffed. “Well its no fun if you just give in!”
month three.
Arthur: Did i leave my jumper in ur room?
Merlin: Which one?
Arthur: Green & white striped 1
Merlin: Yeah, I think I saw it when I washed my shirts yesterday.
Arthur: U already doin my washing, mate?
Merlin: Don’t get used to it.
Arthur: I will bring the rest of my clothes over tonite
Merlin: If you don’t bring Chinese with, you can’t come in.
Arthur: Thats cruel. What if its cold?
Merlin: I’ll throw you out a Snuggie.
Arthur: U actually own 1?!
Merlin: No.
Arthur: Liar
Merlin: I hate you.
Arthur: Because i’m so fit?
Merlin: Because you’re a prat.
Merlin: …and fit.
Arthur: ;)
year one, month five.
“Ok I lied. You can’t bring all your shit to my place. You’ve got too much shit. You’re going to have to sell some of this.” Arthur was certain that even with the large size of his flat, Merlin’s 100 boxes of crap were not going to fit. “How did you even manage to fit this much stuff in your flat?”
“It’s called organisation, Arthur. It works well when you’re bright enough to know what to do.”
Arthur turned on him. “Did you just call me stupid, Emrys?” he didn’t let Merlin answer, rather he picked him up and threw him on the stripped mattress that was lying on the floor next to them. Arthur loomed over him, smirking and looking very pleased with himself. Merlin wasn’t a fool though and he’d hooked an ankle behind Arthur’s calf and tugged him forward before Arthur could even react, much less stop himself from falling forward.
It wasn’t the smartest idea, seeing as his head collided with Merlin’s stomach and he was pretty certain Merlin had just sprained his ankle from Arthur’s decent. Arthur shook his head as he rolled off of Merlin, who was groaning. “Who’s the idiot here again?” he asked crudely, but he rubbed Merlin’s stomach and checked out his ankle anyway.
“I’m starting to think you’re rubbing off on me.”
“Well there’s nothing bad about that. Besides, it looks as if my common sense trumps your organisational sense, so great job, mate.”
“You’re an arse, Pendragon.”
“I have got a rather nice one, haven’t I?” Arthur pretended to check out his own behind.
“Can’t argue you there,” Merlin agreed and Arthur kissed him to shut him up.
week two.
Merlin Emrys I’ve got a boyfriend. ;)
33 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon you better not have! i just asked you to be
mine!
29 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys Sorry about that mate. Plate's all full now. Better
luck next time!
27 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys is now in a relationship with Arthur Pendragon.
22 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon i knew you couldn't resist me
18 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys Well you have got loads of money...
16 minutes ago
Arthur Pendragon Oi!
13 minutes ago
Merlin Emrys :P
7 minutes ago
Lancelot you two make me sick
5 minutes ago
Gwen (Guinevere) Shut up, Lancelot, it's cute. Congrats guys!
3 minutes ago
Lancelot i've just lost my lunch
1 minute ago
year two, month four.
“Do you think we should wait to leave?” Gwen asked Arthur quietly in the kitchen.
Arthur shook his head. “No, that wouldn’t help him any, Gwen. He would feel like he was holding you here and he’d never forgive himself for it.”
She sighed. “Well Lance could go ahead and I could stay for a couple of weeks so that-”
Arthur put a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry so much, Gwen. He knows you care and that’s really all he needs, besides time. I do need you to do something for me, if you could?”
“Of course, Arthur, what is it?”
Arthur gave her the information for Hunith’s memorial. “The papers need this and so does the funeral home. I’ve got most of it covered, but can you ring Will for me?”
“I will. Anything else?”
“Not that I can think of. I’ve got your number though. Thanks Gwen.” Arthur kissed her on the cheek. He began to pull back but she put her hand on his shoulder and hugged him.
“No Arthur, thank you. Thank you for taking care of him,” Gwen said quietly into his ear and then let him go.
Arthur nodded and smiled flatly at her. When she’d left, Arthur made Merlin a cup of tea and sat down next to him on the sofa. Merlin was wrapped up in blankets as though he were fighting against the cold, though it really wasn’t chilly in the flat. He had fallen asleep with a picture of Hunith and himself in his hands. Arthur took it and set it on the table and contemplated waking him up.
He hadn’t gotten to sleep until five in the morning and even then he was only asleep for two hours. Then he started fretting over Hunith’s funeral arrangements, which Arthur promptly took over and wouldn’t let him worry about. Hunith had left instructions on what she wanted after her death, so there really weren’t any decisions to make; Arthur was glad for that because Merlin was the only one to make them and he needed time to grieve.
Arthur leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, brushing back his hair, which was slick with sweat. He sighed and sat down the mug of tea and started to shake Merlin awake. “Merlin, you’re sweating in that thing.” Merlin blearily complied with Arthur, letting him unwrap his fortress of blankets before leaning into the blond and nuzzling at his neck. “Alright, let’s get you in the shower, love.”
He didn’t really have to, but Arthur helped Merlin undress and get into the shower and he washed Merlin himself, even though Merlin protested half-heartedly. Halfway through Merlin started to cry so Arthur pulled him close, rubbing one hand through his slick hair and the other pressed protectively at the small of Merlin’s back.
Merlin clung to Arthur’s shoulders, digging his nails into Arthur’s skin as though he were worried he’d fall or Arthur would let go of him. The dark haired man sobbed into the crook of Arthur’s neck and the blond continued whispering into his ear softly. “I love you so much, Merlin. And I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”
Ten minutes passed and Merlin’s cries turned into sniffles and he smiled sadly at Arthur when he pulled away. “Thank you, Arthur.”
The blond shook his head. “You don’t have to thank me.”
Merlin ignored him and asked, “Did I hurt your shoulders?”
“No,” Arthur lied automatically, but Merlin turned him around and sighed. Arthur stood there while Merlin fingered at the marks he’d made and then he was kissing Arthur’s shoulders and the blond couldn’t help but sigh at the feel of it. When he started to grow hard at Merlin’s caresses he felt so guilty he wanted to bang his head against the shower wall. But then Merlin wrapped his hands around Arthur’s waist from behind and Arthur could feel Merlin’s erection pressed against his backside and he could not hold in the moan that threatened to escape. He was going to go to hell.
Merlin slid his hand down Arthur’s front, about to wrap his slender fingers around Arthur, but the blond stopped him. “Merlin,” he said low and warningly.
“It’s alright, Arthur. I want to,” but Arthur did not believe him. Well, he didn’t believe it was right in any way, so he turned around in Merlin’s arms and kissed him deeply, fingering the wet locks on the back of his neck. Merlin pressed himself into Arthur and soon his back was connecting with the shower wall as Merlin rubbed rough friction between the two of them that made Arthur’s head spin with want. Before he really knew what was happening, he had hiked Merlin’s legs around his waist and was carrying him-wet and dripping-to the bed and he made love to him tenderly. Arthur kissed every part of Merlin’s body he could reach and whispered to him the whole while and was happy that Merlin could forget, even if only for a moment, about the pain in his heart.
year one.
Since Arthur had done such an amazing job with Merlin’s birthday present-Merlin’s words, not his own-Merlin insisted on planning their anniversary on his own. When they’d ‘finished’ in the library, Merlin drug Arthur by the hand down the street.
“Where are we going, Merlin?” Arthur whined, shrill and childlike, at him.
“I’m not going to tell you, so hush. And you call me the girly one...”
Arthur could not help himself-he barked out a laugh. “I know you are not trying to say that I am in any way feminine, Emrys.”
Merlin looked over at him and cocked one eyebrow. “Well…”
“Oh. Oh! This I’ve got to hear, Merlin. Please do tell me how you think I am in any way like a girl.” Arthur was smug because there was not a single thing about him that suggested femininity and he couldn’t believe Merlin of all people would say so.
“Well you have at least three different types of moisturizers and exfoliators. You take twenty minutes to get dressed, because you try on two or three full outfits. I’ve seen you stand in front of the mirror and muck around with your fringe for at least ten minutes-”
“Merlin. None of that is even remotely feminine. Pendragons are not as smooth and supple as the day we popped out of the womb, unlike some people. We actually have to work at it.”
“I am not smooth and supple!” Merlin replied, a bit too loudly, and received some strange looks from passersby.
Arthur laughed so hard he had to stop so he could breathe correctly. “Ok, that made up for the calling me a bird, Merlin, it really did.” Merlin gave him a faux pouty look and Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist. “Are we almost there yet, cause my feet are getting tired…”
“Yes, we’re here.” They were at a park and Arthur was a little confused.
“Ok. Not quite as good as the first stop, Merlin,” but then Merlin lead him forward and to a picnic sitting in wait at which Arthur gawked. “Did you make all this?”
It was more of a feast than a picnic, but Arthur wasn’t going to complain about that. “Yeah, of course. I thought it would be nice.” Merlin smiled at him, genuine and beautiful and Arthur kissed him for rather longer than was needed in a public setting but it was well deserved.
month ten.
Arthur hadn’t talked to Merlin in a week and a half. Lancelot and Gwen, demanding to know why Merlin would not tell them what had happened and why he and Arthur were fighting to begin with, had already cornered him outside his room and threatened to have him publically beaten if he didn’t fix what he’d broken. Arthur had to defend himself if he hoped to make it through the rest of the week unscathed.
He had spent the last half of the week trying to figure out a way to apologise to Merlin for being an arse and also show that it really didn’t matter to him. It didn’t. He had been shocked by it initially, but like Morgana had told him, it wasn’t something he’d never seen before.
He came up with the perfect plan and after all his preparation, he was fairly certain he could sweep Merlin off his feet again and maybe even get make-up sex. The latter was a goal he was hoping to reach because a week and a half was a long time to go without sex, especially when the one he got to shag was Merlin.
Arthur made his way to Merlin’s room and knocked on the door. While he waited for an answer, he felt his hands start to sweat, which made him feel like a git and he considered fleeing to be a really great idea just then. He thought that Merlin wasn’t going to answer as three minutes ticked by, but finally a pathetic sight presented itself to him.
Merlin’s appearance made Arthur’s heart sink into his gut. Merlin’s clothes were wrinkled and dirty, like he hadn’t done his wash in a while. He wore an oversized dark green hoodie with worn wrists that looked like they’d been used as tissues more than once this past week. He had only boxers on beneath the sweatshirt and a pair of black socks that covered his ankles.
Arthur would not have thought this was so bad until he actually looked at Merlin’s face which looked abnormally pale-even for him-with dark circles under his brilliant blue eyes which looked bloodshot. The fact that it was Arthur’s fault that this man looked so pitiful and probably felt loads worse was a pretty hard slap in the face. Arthur wanted to forego his plan and just hold Merlin to his chest and rock him back and forth like a baby, but he had to do this to prove his feelings to Merlin, if he still could.
When Merlin recognised him, Arthur was afraid he’d start crying, but he didn’t. He also didn’t say anything, which the blond rightly deserved. Steeling his nerves, he looked into Merlin’s face and held up a piece of poster board between his two hands. He tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.
So I know this prat. (That's Me)
A while ago he met this really amazing bloke. (That's You)
When Arthur was satisfied that he had Merlin's attention and that he'd had enough time to read what he'd written, he moved on to the next poster board with his messy handwriting splashed across it in black marker.
This bloke charms Prat with his muscled physique, inane confidence, and dim wit.
muscled physique = lanky&skinny
inane confidence = awkwardly adorable
dim wit = smart as fuck
Arthur waited, wishing that Merlin would smile at him then, but he didn’t. He didn't look pissed, per se, but maybe he was too tired to conjure up the emotion. Arthur switched to the next sheet.
Charmer doesn't tell Prat, but he's actually a
member of the secret society called the X-Men.
He offered a smile to Merlin again and was surprised to see the dark haired man fighting a smile himself. It sent a rush of happiness through Arthur that he hadn't noticed was missing. The blond switched to the next sheet of cardboard.
But Charmer doesn't know that Prat's sister is actually
an X-(wo)Man too. She sees the future in her dreams and is
usually right (and smug about it).
Merlin was laughing now and Arthur thought about dropping the cards and embracing the git then and there, but he hadn’t actually apologised yet.
Prat is a douche and kind of a huge
wanker for leaving Charmer by himself on his birthday.
In fact, Prat is pretty certain he’s going to be making up for
that for a very long time.
Arthur produced the last sheet that he had made.
Though he doesn't deserve it, Prat would
like to know if Charmer will forgive him for
being an idiot and maybe let him snog him again.
And also, I didn't steal this idea from Love Actually, because
I'm fitter than that bloke was. And you're a lot sexier than Keira Knightley.
Arthur pouted his bottom lip and Merlin shook his head but grinned like a loon so Arthur moved forward and scooped the skinny man into his arms and spun him around in a circle, knocking Merlin’s ankle into the doorframe and postponing his snogfest until Merlin had iced his ankle. After ten years of waiting Arthur finally kissed Merlin tenderly and he was pretty certain he would’ve been lost without this man in his life.
“You will be,” Merlin said to him later and Arthur looked at him quizzically. “You’ll be making up for it for a long time.”
Arthur sighed but really, he couldn’t have been happier.
year one, month four.
Arthur felt the rush of adrenaline run through his body as he kicked and just squeezed the ball between the goalkeeper and the right side of the goal. His team began jumping and sliding around in the mud, rain pelting down the back of their jerseys but not caring because they’d won and just barely too.
They hoisted Arthur up sloppily and almost dropped him on his head, but caught him and were able to lift him and chant his name as they massed together on the field. Arthur beamed at everyone, crooked teeth shining like a beacon above his teammates, guiding them to the locker rooms. Arthur almost missed the flash of dark hair and pale skin in the bleachers, but he didn’t. He patted the men carrying him and asked them to put him down, which they did only begrudgingly and told him to meet them after for a pint.
Arthur jogged up into the stands, smiling at Merlin when he reached him. “What are you doing here, Merlin? It’s pissing it down!”
Merlin smiled. “Congratulations, Arthur. You did great!”
Arthur mirrored the grin and wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist. “Seriously, what are you doing here? Why would you sit in the rain to watch me play?”
Merlin gave an exasperated look. “You really have to ask, Arthur? You look positively radiant when you are playing and I like to see it-that joy and excitement that sits in your eyes and in your smile. Why wouldn’t I watch, really?”
Arthur sighed back at him. “You are so full of it, Merlin.”
Merlin looked put out. “Excuse me?”
“You are excused.” Arthur smirked.
“I am not full of it.”
“Yes, yes you are. You just wanted to see me get all soaking wet in my jersey-all muddy and slick so you could rub yourself all over me and not feel the least bit shameful.”
Merlin’s eyes practically rolled out of his head. “Right, Arthur. You really are the most egotistical prat in the world.”
“Hmm, but I am your prat, Emrys.”
Merlin laughed. “I suppose you are.”
“Well,” Arthur drawled, letting one of his hands slink down from Merlin’s waist and cup his arse, “don’t you want to snog me in the rain?”
Merlin jumped a little at the squeeze. “Erm, I guess so,” Merlin replied, trying to feign disinterest.
“Oh please, Merlin. You can barely keep your hands off me. Don’t try to be coy.”
“I believe it is you who is groping me inappropriately in public, in the pouring rain, in the stands of a muddy football pitch.” Merlin leaned into Arthur and contradicted his entire statement.
“You’re very observant, Merlin. Where’d you pick up those amazing skills to state the obvious?”
“It’s the magic. That’s why I generally know a lot more than you do. I do not fault you these shortcoming as I know you can’t help being more dim-witted than I, who so very obviously is-”
Arthur decided to make him shut up, as he did quite often, really, but he never heard a protest from Merlin about it, so he was only happy to fulfill the role. Arthur tugged at Merlin’s bottom while he kissed the man and felt Merlin melt into his touch entirely. He was fisting at the back of Arthur’s jersey trying to pull himself closer which was not at all possible.
Arthur pulled back with a smirk. “Wanna hit the showers?”
“Yes, please,” Merlin practically purred at him and Arthur’s grin grew. He was going to make a knob jockey of Merlin yet.
month two.
“I’m sorry, Merlin, I don’t think this is going to work out between us,” Arthur said, dead serious, as the two of them sat across one another eating breakfast.
Merlin practically choked on his coffee and barely missed spitting it all over Arthur. “W-what?”
Arthur shook his head slow and deliberate. “I don’t think I can date someone who thinks ninjas are better than pirates.” He was staring intensely into Merlin’s face as he spoke.
Merlin seemed to take this as completely serious because he looked paler and sicker than usual. “Arthur, are you serious?”
Arthur threw up his hands. “Of course I’m serious! No one can deny the fantastic that is the pirate! Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were pirates! It doesn’t get any better than that!”
“Arthur, all they did was play pirates in a film. They aren’t actually pirates.”
Arthur gasped overdramatically. “What? How can you say such a thing? Johnny and Orlando were the best pirates of all time!”
“Johnny and Orlando would be dead right now if they’d actually lived in the days of pirates and Orlando Bloom is famous for Lord of the Rings not Pirates of the Caribbean.”
“Why are you arguing about the best pirates that ever lived? Aren’t you supposed to be arguing that ninjas are better?” Arthur narrowed his eyes toward Merlin, who no longer looked pale but was not giving away much emotion at all.
“I don’t have to argue that.”
“Why not?”
“Because ninjas just are better. There is no argument to be had.” Merlin was trying to keep a straight face but Arthur could see him fighting a smirk.
“You’re going to hell, Merlin Emrys, for the blasphemy that you spout!”
“Oh well. I can always ninja my way out of hell. What can you do as a pirate? Sit on a boat and sing about rum?” Merlin was smug now. Damn him.
Arthur’s mouth dropped open and he stared exasperatedly at Merlin, closing and opening his mouth again, only a few words escaping his lips. “I-you-pirates-” Arthur stammered, sadly without any sort of retort.
“I think I rest my case,” Merlin said and leaned forward to kiss Arthur. Arthur could do nothing but gawk at him and kiss back because how had he lost this argument? He always won the ninja-pirate argument! Who was this strange man and how did he have these abilities to fight against Arthur so easily?
year two, month six.
Arthur walked alongside Merlin down the streets of London, hand in hand. They were spending a few days in the city to shop around and just generally relax. Not that Arthur was really the relaxing type, especially when on holiday. Who wanted to relax on holiday when there was so much to do and see? No one in his right mind, that’s who!
“We should get a 42 inch flat screen HDTV,” Arthur piped up as though they would have to pool together money to afford one, which was obviously not an issue. Merlin did like to be included in the expenses, even if he didn’t really need to help pay and even if Arthur did not mind paying on his own. It didn’t feel like a relationship to Merlin if Arthur was always using his money and Arthur respected that. At least he knew that Merlin wasn’t after his dowry. Wait, didn’t that make him the bird in the relationship?
“Because our 38 inch one is no longer sufficient?” Merlin laughed at him.
Arthur scoffed. “We can move that to the bedroom and keep the 360 in the living room on the big telly. Blokes never look better than when they are splattering their guts over 42 inches of high definition.”
Merlin shook his head and squeezed Arthur’s hand. Arthur squeezed back reflexively. “If you think that’s best, Arthur, I’m not going to argue with you.”
“You don’t agree? I mean, I’m looking out for you too. Imagine how shagable Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. will look together in their sexual tension-filled quote unquote ‘friendship.’” Arthur tried to make finger quotes in the air but only managed the left one since Merlin’s hand was in his right.
Merlin laughed at him. “They really are just friends, Arthur.”
Arthur gave Merlin his patented disbelieving eyebrow raise. “And I suppose you think Shawn and Gus are just friends too, eh?”
“For someone who is bisexual, you are pretty adept at finding gay relationships where there really aren’t any.” Merlin was grinning at him with his half dimpled smile that made Arthur want to lick his cheek. Merlin probably wouldn’t appreciate that in public though.
“I am not bisexual,” Arthur said indignantly.
“Since when?”
“Since I became Merlin-sexual. I am not attracted to anyone besides Merlin Emrys. Blokes and birds no longer have any effect on me.”
“Arthur, I am a bloke.”
“Yes, a Merlin bloke,” Arthur said and poked him in the cheek.
“You’re completely nuts,” Merlin replied and countered Arthur’s poke with his own poke to the ribs.
When they rounded the corner of a street they could hear a male voice ringing from further down the street. A man was standing at the corner of a shop with a few people surrounding him as he gave a speech he must have given hundreds of times before. He had signs propped up around him and pamphlets spread out on a box next to him on the ground.
“The Holy Bible states, in Leviticus 18:22, ‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.'”
Arthur rolled his eyes when the man’s words reached his ears. “Here we go again,” he said, glancing at Merlin who now looked entirely uncomfortable. Even though he didn’t believe the tripe these people spouted, Arthur could tell that Merlin took every word to heart. It hurt Arthur to see Merlin so unhappy, but it also pissed him off too. Why couldn’t these idiots just mind their own damned business?
“It is clearly writ in the Bible, by our Lord God’s word, that homosexuality is an abomination and a sin and anyone who practices it will burn in Hell.”
There were murmurs of agreement from some people, while someone else who was passing by shouted, “Shut the fuck up!” Arthur had half a mind to say the same thing, but he knew that Merlin would be a little disappointed in him if he did. Their pace slowed unconsciously as they passed the man, waiting to see what he and the others listening to him would say or do.
Arthur was gripping Merlin’s hand tighter than before, telling him that he was not going to let go of him or be ashamed to hold hands with his partner. He’d told Merlin before that if they let people like this get to them, then they were always going to come out the victors of this fight. If they succeeded in making them feel ashamed about their relationship, they were always going to have fuel to keep their fires burning. Arthur wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction.
Arthur slowed to a stop in front of the man, who hadn’t seemed to notice them yet. Merlin gave him a questioning look and Arthur could tell he was worried that the blond was going to do something rash and embarrass him. Merlin was half-right about that, but Arthur had a mission that he was now determined to carry out.
The man began to scan the smallish crowd around him and when his eyes skimmed past Arthur and Merlin, Arthur placed his free hand behind Merlin’s head and pulled the startled man to him and kissed him fully-and rather passionately-in front of the naysayer and the crowd on the street. Merlin was too shocked at first to reciprocate, but eventually he leaned into the kiss and Arthur felt more than a little smug. After a few moments dragged into a few minutes, Arthur began to hear gasps of surprise, a few wolf whistles, awwww’s, and some people even applauding.
When Arthur finally pulled away from Merlin, his pale cheeks were rosy and he had a small, embarrassed smile on his face that Arthur found so adorable he leaned forward and kissed the dark haired man on the forehead. Someone cried out, “Good for you!” and the man who had been preaching was stunned into silence. Arthur shot him a huge, shit-eating grin and tugged his partner along by the hand, back down the street where they had been heading in the first place.
When they were out of eyeshot of the crowd, Merlin stopped and pushed Arthur by the shoulder half-heartedly. “Arthur! That was really stupid!”
Arthur eyed him. “I didn’t hear you complaining when I was snogging you.”
“What if someone had thrown something at us? We could have gotten hurt!”
Arthur sighed. He had wanted it to be something fun and endearing but he should have known Merlin would overreact. “Merlin, we are fine; we didn’t get hurt. And I can promise you that I would never let anyone hurt you.”
Merlin’s eyes began to shimmer, brimming with tears. “Arthur. I know that you would never let something happen to me, but you aren’t with me all the time. There may come a day when I get hurt and there won’t be anything you can do about it.”
Arthur felt his heart speeding up. His stomach clenched beneath it making him want to double over and retch. He didn’t. “No, Merlin. I will always protect-”
“Arthur,” Merlin said slowly, placing a hand on Arthur’s forearm and squeezing. Arthur refused to look Merlin in the face because he knew that Merlin would be right, whatever it is he said, and he didn’t want to hear it. He never wanted to think of the possibility of Merlin getting hurt and him not being able to protect him from it. There were so many reasons people might want to hurt him: he was gay, he had some sort of extrasensory powers, he was pale and pretty. Arthur would never forgive himself if Merlin were to get hurt.
“Arthur, I need you to promise me something.”
“Merlin, I won’t-”
“You have to. Arthur, I will leave you right now if you don’t.”
Arthur never would have expected Merlin to say something like that. He finally looked up into his face and saw that he was being serious. He really would leave Arthur if he didn’t promise him this. It hurt Arthur more than anything he could ever imagine. “What is it?”
“If I ever get hurt, you cannot blame yourself. You can’t control the universe and you cannot prevent every bad thing from happening. I know you think you are invulnerable, Arthur, but you aren’t.”
“Merlin, please,” Arthur pleaded, feeling like Merlin was ripping out his heart from the inside. Merlin just kept staring at him with that intense gaze that would make Arthur agree to murder if Merlin really wanted him to.
Merlin finally took pity on him and pulled Arthur into a hug. Arthur clung to the man like his lifeline and in some ways, Merlin was. “I love you, Arthur Pendragon, and I will do my best to protect you just as you will for me. But you cannot blame yourself for things you can’t control and if I were to die-”
“No, no, no,” Arthur mumbled feebly, feeling tears prick his eyes as he whispered into Merlin’s neck. He didn’t want to hear this-any of it. He refused to believe that Merlin might die someday and leave him alone. He never wanted to have to deal with that.
“Arthur, if I were to die for whatever reason, you can’t wait around and pine for me. You will have to move on.”
Arthur pulled back and looked into Merlin’s face. “I could never move on, Merlin. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. Ever. I don’t think I could breathe if you weren’t by my side. You are the only person I ever will love, Merlin, and you can’t ask me to look for someone else when you are the only one I want. I will promise not to blame myself, but I can never promise not to love you for the rest of my life. You know if you ask me I will do it, but please-please don’t ask me to.”
Merlin was crying and Arthur felt awful for it, but Merlin was making him cry too so really, it couldn’t be helped. Merlin nodded finally. “Ok. Ok Arthur, you’re right. I won’t make you promise that. I’m sorry.”
Arthur placed his hands on either side of Merlin’s face and kissed him. “It’s ok,” Arthur spoke against his lips. “I love you, Merlin. I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.”
Merlin smiled through his tears. “I love you too, Arthur. I will enjoy spending the rest of my life by your side.”
They kissed once more and then pulled themselves together, laced their fingers together again and walked through the streets of London and into the rest of their days together.
-fin-