Fandom Radio, Monday January 10th
Hey. This is Lucas Lee, slumming it with yesterday's news for WTFH Radio. I know what you're thinking: "I live in a backwards town that's never had a Lucas Lee movie in its theater, but I understand you're a major movie star. What are you doing on the radio when we should be worshiping you at the movie theater?" Consider this to be reaching out to my public. I'm doing this for you, the people. Heh heh heh. No, no, that wasn't an evil chuckle. I would never lie to you guys about doing this for you.
Anyway, I have some notes here and now it's time for me to read them to you. Let's do this.
School
It's Sunday. What the hell were you people doing that would give me notes about the school on a Sunday? Huh. Apparently Sunday is library day. Jono was doing a crappy job with his duties over by books on demonic possessions, which I hope laughed at him for slacking off so bad. Raven stopped by and set up a booty call because she isn't sleeping well at night anyway and then they discussed things that somebody named Ariel doesn't know about. Rosalind came in and caught up with Jono and talked about the usefulness of demonic possession books - which I'm completely behind, especially if they bite people. Jacob found Rosalind there - because of course the library is where you look for people on a Sunday - so they could talk about how she hates all of her classes and how he wants to use popcorn to seduce her or something.
When the hell did libraries turn into a place to pick up chicks? I'm writing my agent a note, there's a romantic comedy in here somewhere. I've needed one of those to expand my audience a little.
Jacob also talked to Jono a little about stuffed animals and chicks, and then Karla came in to talk to Jono about a specific chick, Raven.
Heh, see what I did there? You're welcome for that great joke.
Wait, is that it? Okay, before we move on, kids, remember, you don't have to go to libraries and read on Sundays. That's what the rest of the week is for.
Dorms
In the second floor common room, Leo was making Southwest omelets for people. Hey, Leo, bring one to the radio station right now and I'll find one of your teachers and swap some extra credit for you with an autographed picture of me. Everyone wins!
Caroline was looking for some food, and basically made Leo her personal chef and then they talked about hot people and bitchiness. I can say that on radio, right? Eh, who cares. The FCC can bite me. Speaking of biting, Bod and Caroline talked about sex, vampires, and werewolves. They better not have been talking about movies, because I haven't starred in anything supernatural. Jacob snarled at Caroline, she whined at him, they talked about vampires and werewolves, who smells like what, and which of them is which kind of supernatural thing. Bob thanked Leo for cooking and then discussed roommates and whether or not the squirrels are watching you in the shower.
Huh. Do you? *chittering* Wow. I have no idea what you just said. Because you're a squirrel.
Jacob got some food, thanked Leo, blah blah blah family and timelines. Apparently people around here haven't figured out that you don't talk to the person making your food. You just tip them. Jacob met up with Bod and talked about Bod's breakup with Kate and how according to some people he's not moving on fast enough. You know what, it's time for a public service announcement.
High school romances can be rough. Sometimes a girl cheats on you, breaks your heart, stomps all over it, then rubs your nose in the fact that she's all cool and can move on. When that happens, turn evil. Trust me, it's a great career decision and it can get you some quality tail. Plus, someday you'll have a shot at revenge! Completely worth it. So hang in there and remember, Evil is a growth industry.
The more you know, people.
Bobby decided to talk to the help, too, introducing himself as a long-time student who was used to the goofy crap before taunting Bod about some message. But then he gave Bod some support over the break up. Remember: THINK EVIL. It's a lot more fun than just dealing with it!
Up on the roof this afternoon, Ender yelled at his laptop until people had to come by and tell him to be quiet. What? Why else would anyone go on the roof in January? Look, you're squirrels. I can't understand you if you're trying to correct me. Hinata yelled at him about her last trip home and collapsible chairs, and you can stop making that noise at me because you can't stop me from reporting it as a fight. It's the only thing that makes sense. Apparently he didn't stop making all that noise because Tony went up to yell at him about hacking and laser tag. Personally, I say keep it up, Ender. If they want you to keep the noise down, they'll have to make you do it.
Sov brought a radio and soldering iron to the third floor common room so there could be some modifications made with Tony, who hopefully calmed down by then. Ariel broke up the nerd party by checking out Tony's bag of supplies and telling Sov about her collection. I have no idea what it's a collection of. Hopefully my movies. Ariel also had a collection of Tony's angry faces because she messed up a radio on purpose. It sounds like it doesn't take much to make Tony mad. Ever thinking of turning to evil, Tony? It's fun! You get to yell at anyone you want!
Peter nerded it up even more by talking to Sov about AV clubs and how radios are obsolete... Then how am I talking to you right now? Once again, the cool guy beats the nerd. Yeah, me. Peter and Tony then nerded about their parents and chemistry and boobs... Wait, that part wasn't nerdy. Good job, boys. Chuck came by and nerded at Tony and Sov before finally making the place where all of you live in close proximity to each other half as sexy at the freaking library by flirting with Ariel. They talked about socks and Cheetos pizzas. Wow. You guys made the library look even better than it did before.
William's nerd sense was tingling, so he nerded at Tony. Then he and Sov nerded about wireless telegraph.
I'm starting to be glad you people have never seen The Game Is Over 1 or 2.
Jason showed up at Nico's room, wanting to talk about the spar Nico had with Percy, but it all devolved into some library-style stuff with ointment. Alex was smoking in his room - hey, is that guy evil? What? Smoking is a sign of evilness. Check the books, it's in there. Anyway, Effy showed up to pass along messages and talk about messages. And FINALLY the dorms move past the library with Karla and Warren getting freaky during an indoor picnic and Jono and Raven getting some action before Raven had a nightmare. Not that I care about teenagers doing things to each other, but come on, save it for your rooms, not the library.
Town
Reno showed up to his first day of work at Fixer-Uppers, but was too busy staring at the sign to do any work. Speaking of first days, Dolf walked into Turtle & Canary and got a job just for being there because Shunsui is a lazy ass. Blysse played with bananas at the Gig - again, that's nearly what the notes said - before Scully came in to talk about animals. Max and Cindy were on the beach for some flirting... the notes try to correct that as sparring, but we know what they were doing. John was stacking some glasses at Caritas. And Ellie was reading some medical journals at the clinic.
And Mitchell opened up the movie theater with some movie that doesn't star me. What are you waiting for, bro? You Just Don't Exist. Great movie. Get it in there so we can teach the people around here a thing or two about cinema.
That's it for me today. I'll be at my big mansion if anyone wants autographs.
Anyway, I have some notes here and now it's time for me to read them to you. Let's do this.
School
It's Sunday. What the hell were you people doing that would give me notes about the school on a Sunday? Huh. Apparently Sunday is library day. Jono was doing a crappy job with his duties over by books on demonic possessions, which I hope laughed at him for slacking off so bad. Raven stopped by and set up a booty call because she isn't sleeping well at night anyway and then they discussed things that somebody named Ariel doesn't know about. Rosalind came in and caught up with Jono and talked about the usefulness of demonic possession books - which I'm completely behind, especially if they bite people. Jacob found Rosalind there - because of course the library is where you look for people on a Sunday - so they could talk about how she hates all of her classes and how he wants to use popcorn to seduce her or something.
When the hell did libraries turn into a place to pick up chicks? I'm writing my agent a note, there's a romantic comedy in here somewhere. I've needed one of those to expand my audience a little.
Jacob also talked to Jono a little about stuffed animals and chicks, and then Karla came in to talk to Jono about a specific chick, Raven.
Heh, see what I did there? You're welcome for that great joke.
Wait, is that it? Okay, before we move on, kids, remember, you don't have to go to libraries and read on Sundays. That's what the rest of the week is for.
Dorms
In the second floor common room, Leo was making Southwest omelets for people. Hey, Leo, bring one to the radio station right now and I'll find one of your teachers and swap some extra credit for you with an autographed picture of me. Everyone wins!
Caroline was looking for some food, and basically made Leo her personal chef and then they talked about hot people and bitchiness. I can say that on radio, right? Eh, who cares. The FCC can bite me. Speaking of biting, Bod and Caroline talked about sex, vampires, and werewolves. They better not have been talking about movies, because I haven't starred in anything supernatural. Jacob snarled at Caroline, she whined at him, they talked about vampires and werewolves, who smells like what, and which of them is which kind of supernatural thing. Bob thanked Leo for cooking and then discussed roommates and whether or not the squirrels are watching you in the shower.
Huh. Do you? *chittering* Wow. I have no idea what you just said. Because you're a squirrel.
Jacob got some food, thanked Leo, blah blah blah family and timelines. Apparently people around here haven't figured out that you don't talk to the person making your food. You just tip them. Jacob met up with Bod and talked about Bod's breakup with Kate and how according to some people he's not moving on fast enough. You know what, it's time for a public service announcement.
High school romances can be rough. Sometimes a girl cheats on you, breaks your heart, stomps all over it, then rubs your nose in the fact that she's all cool and can move on. When that happens, turn evil. Trust me, it's a great career decision and it can get you some quality tail. Plus, someday you'll have a shot at revenge! Completely worth it. So hang in there and remember, Evil is a growth industry.
The more you know, people.
Bobby decided to talk to the help, too, introducing himself as a long-time student who was used to the goofy crap before taunting Bod about some message. But then he gave Bod some support over the break up. Remember: THINK EVIL. It's a lot more fun than just dealing with it!
Up on the roof this afternoon, Ender yelled at his laptop until people had to come by and tell him to be quiet. What? Why else would anyone go on the roof in January? Look, you're squirrels. I can't understand you if you're trying to correct me. Hinata yelled at him about her last trip home and collapsible chairs, and you can stop making that noise at me because you can't stop me from reporting it as a fight. It's the only thing that makes sense. Apparently he didn't stop making all that noise because Tony went up to yell at him about hacking and laser tag. Personally, I say keep it up, Ender. If they want you to keep the noise down, they'll have to make you do it.
Sov brought a radio and soldering iron to the third floor common room so there could be some modifications made with Tony, who hopefully calmed down by then. Ariel broke up the nerd party by checking out Tony's bag of supplies and telling Sov about her collection. I have no idea what it's a collection of. Hopefully my movies. Ariel also had a collection of Tony's angry faces because she messed up a radio on purpose. It sounds like it doesn't take much to make Tony mad. Ever thinking of turning to evil, Tony? It's fun! You get to yell at anyone you want!
Peter nerded it up even more by talking to Sov about AV clubs and how radios are obsolete... Then how am I talking to you right now? Once again, the cool guy beats the nerd. Yeah, me. Peter and Tony then nerded about their parents and chemistry and boobs... Wait, that part wasn't nerdy. Good job, boys. Chuck came by and nerded at Tony and Sov before finally making the place where all of you live in close proximity to each other half as sexy at the freaking library by flirting with Ariel. They talked about socks and Cheetos pizzas. Wow. You guys made the library look even better than it did before.
William's nerd sense was tingling, so he nerded at Tony. Then he and Sov nerded about wireless telegraph.
I'm starting to be glad you people have never seen The Game Is Over 1 or 2.
Jason showed up at Nico's room, wanting to talk about the spar Nico had with Percy, but it all devolved into some library-style stuff with ointment. Alex was smoking in his room - hey, is that guy evil? What? Smoking is a sign of evilness. Check the books, it's in there. Anyway, Effy showed up to pass along messages and talk about messages. And FINALLY the dorms move past the library with Karla and Warren getting freaky during an indoor picnic and Jono and Raven getting some action before Raven had a nightmare. Not that I care about teenagers doing things to each other, but come on, save it for your rooms, not the library.
Town
Reno showed up to his first day of work at Fixer-Uppers, but was too busy staring at the sign to do any work. Speaking of first days, Dolf walked into Turtle & Canary and got a job just for being there because Shunsui is a lazy ass. Blysse played with bananas at the Gig - again, that's nearly what the notes said - before Scully came in to talk about animals. Max and Cindy were on the beach for some flirting... the notes try to correct that as sparring, but we know what they were doing. John was stacking some glasses at Caritas. And Ellie was reading some medical journals at the clinic.
And Mitchell opened up the movie theater with some movie that doesn't star me. What are you waiting for, bro? You Just Don't Exist. Great movie. Get it in there so we can teach the people around here a thing or two about cinema.
That's it for me today. I'll be at my big mansion if anyone wants autographs.