Fandom Radio: Friday, February 22nd, 2008
Willow: *sighs* Hello, Fandom, and welcome to what is possibly one of the worst days of the entire school year.
Xander: Whyfor, oh BFFiest BFF of mine?
Willow: Spring Break! An entire week of no classes! As though it's not bad enough that they don't offer us anything on the weekends either!
Xander: I like to refer to her as 'differently sane,' folks.
Willow: I mean sure there's homework and all but - but - can you hand me those tissues please?
Xander: You know I really don't want to know why the squirrels keep tissues in here.
Willow: Because they're wonderful and thoughtful. Unlike certain school calenders we could mention.
Xander: Cheer up! Spring Break means extra time for other things, y'know.
Willow: Like giving yourself practice final exams?
Xander: .....I was thinking maybe with a partner.
Willow: Oh! That's nice too. Much more fun than test-taking all by yourself.
Xander: Well, sometimes it's fun to watch.
*moment of horrified I said that on the radio, didn't I? silence*
The squirrels. As they hand us notes about what happened on this possibly worst day of the school year.
Willow: They are awfully cute with their wee notepads. Let's get to it!
School, which can start up again ANY DAY NOW
We find out that Eve Levine, John Sheppard, Karal Austreben, Liir Thropp, Teyla Emmagan, and Chad Sado all have detention with Vala tomorrow. At least they're lucky enough to be doing a school-related activity.
Xander: I'd argue that 'lucky' and 'detention' go together like ... oyster and Squishie, except I actually had fun at the one detention I ever got here.
Willow: The library was wide open today thanks to Karal. Liir came by with lunch and Karal asked why Liir had poor skin issues. No prize for guessing which one of the two scored higher in their manners classes.
Art History took their midterm, and I take several breaths to try to cut down on my envy. There was taking of tests and then cookies and I can only assume the TA portion of the class involved making signs that taunted me by name as that's clearly where the trend is going!
The Art of Cool had various Art of Cool related topics, but the important thing is that Ron gave Barney and Tink cookies and this is why Tink is a bird and Barney has a big tongue. The squirrels are now handing me a note about how they're sure Barney's girlfriend won't mind. Which I don't get at all because I thought Barney wasn't dating anybody.
Xander: You can't see it over the radio, but I actually brought my no-touchy stick this time. This is me not using it.
Willow: The class then talks about whether or not they did their homework. Except for Tink who presumably said "Tweet" and Barney who presumably said "Thhfttfh fhfhttt tthhhh!" Ron was smug and got gold stars from Reno and Robin. And then Ron mocked Barney and Tink after class. Possible methods include asking "Who let that cat in?" and asking Barney if he minds helping out with a book of stamps.
My Country worked on making their countries unique. The noble nation of Gremlinistan is unique in that it does not force its students to go entire weeks without some form of structured classes and/or grading. Truly it is a paradise.
Xander: You know, there are like, online tests you could take...
Willow: Gremlinistan would never force its beloved students into such a position. Speaking of beloved, the bestest boyfriend in all the land lead the Student Council meeting. Apparently there is going to be a trip. I have no idea when or where but it is upcoming, so be aware of that! Especially if it's the kind of trip where you don't notice something on the floor and then there's falling and lifelong embarassment.
Inappropriately Named Club meets. There is talking, which is ironically appropriate for the inappropriately named. Karal talks to Hoshi, and then Lana teaches him how to speak Crow. No word on if Tink flew in wondering where the long lost yet newly created relative might be. Liir talks to Hoshi. I don't know in what language so I'm going to go with Pig Latin. Andrew teaches Romeo a dead language. That'd be very useful if Romeo started working at Caritas. I'm sure the band would appreciate it. Naomi teaches Andrew Ktarian. Andrew, Karal, and Inara are there for anyone who needs them. John and Andrew discuss Spring Break plans. Mine involve being curled up in my bed with many pints of ice cream, if anyone's curious. And Bob the librarian is there.
Xander: See, my curling up plans involve the bestest boyfriend in all the land, US edition. Not that the ice cream is a bad idea.
Willow: Ice cream is rarely a bad idea. Unless you're fighting a monster who only grows stronger the more you throw ice cream at it. Then it's a bad idea, and also a very cruel twist of fate.
Xander: Or a karmic punishment for being dumb enough to throw ice cream when you should be eating it.
Willow: Or not sharing it with the monster when it asked politely.
Xander: Or that. Which is why you should always have extra ice cream. Preferably Twinkie-flavored; Dawn and I are still working the kinks out of that one, but we think it's gonna be a big hit once we fix the moosh-factor. I might spend the non-curling parts of Spring Break working on that, actually.
Willow: Next up is office hours a-go-go. Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy starts us off. Then there's Vala who is visited by Bob the librarian who wonders what she finds funny. Monkeys maybe? Monkeys are funny. Biff has office hours and Vala stops by to talk to him about ideas for detention. Wait - does that mean she was playing hooky at her own office hours? Does she earn teacher detention for that? Do teachers even have their own special detention? They so should. It could keep them from forgetting to give out homework.
Later on Glitch has dinner in his office for some students. Liir and Andrew bring the food. Which is good as without it it's standing around awkwardly in Glitch's office while wondering if anyone can hear how much your stomach is growling. Karal is there and talks with Liir about detention. Ino is there and brings up Liir's skin problems again and yanno we are all teenagers here. Give the poor guy a break already. Finally there is eating and discussion of the upcoming trip to O.Z. I have no idea if that's related to the Student Council trip or not. If so, uh - oops? Retroactive spoiler alert, anyone?
Dorms where we're sure everybody's staying all week taking practice exams
Xander: In the dorms, it looks like a metric buttload of people -- I'm a professional, I have tools to measure these things -- are planning on spending their Spring Break someplace else, since Luke and Carmela were both packing, and Karal told Evey he's going on a trip, before he gave her a meditation lesson. Oh, well, okay, one person was reading, not packing - raise your hand if you're shocked it was Adah.
Willow: Good for her! In the common room that's one floor less cool than five Isabel has hot chocolate and Janice Dickenson. I hasten to add that the latter is on the TV. If she was in the common room she'd be forcing the boys to take their shirts off. So pretty much a normal co-ed day in Fandom, but it would be more fierce. Turtle joins Isabel for TV and discussion of evil Meg, Botox, and mooses. I'm a little scared to think of how all those were combined. A giant banana then walks in and starts singing about peanut butter jelly time. Or it was Sky forgetting to take off his work uniform. Possibly both. I don't know if Sky sings, or has a preference about songs that relate to sandwiches. Certainly he could've veered off into a bologna with a first name direction. You have to go wherever the muse takes you. Turtle's muse took her towards mocking Sky. Possibly by peeling him and tossing him on the floor so everyone else could slip on him. It's what Janice would do.
Xander: I'm thinking she might lose ice cream karma for that.
Town, Where Nobody Notices It's Spring Break Because We Never Have Class
Speaking of Sky, bet a bunch of people took off early for break, and that's why he didn't get much company at the banana stand today. Which I'm sure he's heartbroken about. Same with Sora, River, Jolee and Dr. Troy, at Turtle & Canary, the Arms, Caritas, and the clinic.
Willow: Maybe everybody's already staying home due to depression?
Xander: Apparently some people swallowed the pain, since Renee got a visit from Dale at the cop shop, and they talked cop talk as you do at the cop shop when you're talky cops. Jen had plenty of company at Pizza Planet: the boss man was there, and so were Adam who talked pizza and Sky who talked lonely banana stands. Rikku opened Wellspring Arms and Romeo stopped in to talk, possibly about R-names and how they're fun to reel off in a row. Like River who hit the junkyard after work, and Billy who... doesn't start with an R. So much for my streak.
Willow: Still, I'm touched that you attempted to celebrate alliteration just to cheer me up. Thank you.
Xander: Any time. Liir who also doesn't start with an R opened the Book Haven and got chatty with Mr. Glitch about detention and dinner, and Teddy about ... shininess. And comics. Possibly shiny comics? Oh, no, shiny Liir; we're back to the skin issues. Hang in there, kid; puberty really does end. Eventually.
Meanwhile, Chad opened Groovy Tunes and again with the handraising, if you're surprised Teddy was there, talking about... huh, whaddya know - detention and dinner, just like Liir and Mr. Glitch.
*squeakity-squeak*
Xander: Huh? Oh, missed that, sorry. They also talked about kisses. Which not so much like Liir and Mr. Glitch. Hopefully.
Willow: I'm sure we can all agree that student/teacher relationships should remain of the student/teacher variety. Otherwise it's very naughty. They give you special detention for that. So I'm told.
Xander: In Hell, I'm guessing. Speaking of , Giles opened the Magic Box, and Andrew stopped in to ask if they could step his lessons up to actually summoning things. Um. Giles, can we talk?
Over at the Arms, Mary called several people to tell them news about the wedding. There's a wedding? Oh em gee, why am I always the last to hear these things? I mean, besides the fact that you barely know me and I don't even know who you're marrying. But congrats, anyway.
Closer to home - my home, that is - my tenant Sheriff Roy was looking through books in his apartment, and Ed stopped in to see if Roy's heard from Al. Then Kerrigan brought Roy some whiskey, the gift that keeps on giving until you pass out.
Willow: Or drink it all. Though you could recycle the bottle. That part keeps on giving then.
Xander: You could build a ship in it. Or throw it at monsters instead of your ice cream, since you'll need that to keep up your strength when you spend Spring Break taking practice exams. Which is what the bestest boyfriend in all the land, US Edition and I are gonna be doing, you betcha. Yup. All the practice exams we can--
*squeakity-squeak squeak*
Xander: What? I didn't say anything the FCC could fine us for! You can't prove that was dirty!
*SQUEAK*
Xander: Oh, there's another note. Bridge turned into a ferret in the preserve. Gotcha.
*yet another moment of silence*
Xander: ...SON OF A--
SQUEAK!
Willow: Language! All of you! And eep! Go! Find Bridge! Let me know if he needs a pair of knitted ferret-sized gloves! Shoo!
Xander: [unintelligible mutterings that might include Good night, Fandom as he slams his way out the door, but probably not]
Willow: I said this was a horrible day but did anyone listen to me? No. Well the squirrels did. And all of you listening to this broadcast. And Xander. But still! *sigh* Oh well. Good night, Fandom! Try to do your best to survive through the week!
Xander: Whyfor, oh BFFiest BFF of mine?
Willow: Spring Break! An entire week of no classes! As though it's not bad enough that they don't offer us anything on the weekends either!
Xander: I like to refer to her as 'differently sane,' folks.
Willow: I mean sure there's homework and all but - but - can you hand me those tissues please?
Xander: You know I really don't want to know why the squirrels keep tissues in here.
Willow: Because they're wonderful and thoughtful. Unlike certain school calenders we could mention.
Xander: Cheer up! Spring Break means extra time for other things, y'know.
Willow: Like giving yourself practice final exams?
Xander: .....I was thinking maybe with a partner.
Willow: Oh! That's nice too. Much more fun than test-taking all by yourself.
Xander: Well, sometimes it's fun to watch.
*moment of horrified I said that on the radio, didn't I? silence*
The squirrels. As they hand us notes about what happened on this possibly worst day of the school year.
Willow: They are awfully cute with their wee notepads. Let's get to it!
School, which can start up again ANY DAY NOW
We find out that Eve Levine, John Sheppard, Karal Austreben, Liir Thropp, Teyla Emmagan, and Chad Sado all have detention with Vala tomorrow. At least they're lucky enough to be doing a school-related activity.
Xander: I'd argue that 'lucky' and 'detention' go together like ... oyster and Squishie, except I actually had fun at the one detention I ever got here.
Willow: The library was wide open today thanks to Karal. Liir came by with lunch and Karal asked why Liir had poor skin issues. No prize for guessing which one of the two scored higher in their manners classes.
Art History took their midterm, and I take several breaths to try to cut down on my envy. There was taking of tests and then cookies and I can only assume the TA portion of the class involved making signs that taunted me by name as that's clearly where the trend is going!
The Art of Cool had various Art of Cool related topics, but the important thing is that Ron gave Barney and Tink cookies and this is why Tink is a bird and Barney has a big tongue. The squirrels are now handing me a note about how they're sure Barney's girlfriend won't mind. Which I don't get at all because I thought Barney wasn't dating anybody.
Xander: You can't see it over the radio, but I actually brought my no-touchy stick this time. This is me not using it.
Willow: The class then talks about whether or not they did their homework. Except for Tink who presumably said "Tweet" and Barney who presumably said "Thhfttfh fhfhttt tthhhh!" Ron was smug and got gold stars from Reno and Robin. And then Ron mocked Barney and Tink after class. Possible methods include asking "Who let that cat in?" and asking Barney if he minds helping out with a book of stamps.
My Country worked on making their countries unique. The noble nation of Gremlinistan is unique in that it does not force its students to go entire weeks without some form of structured classes and/or grading. Truly it is a paradise.
Xander: You know, there are like, online tests you could take...
Willow: Gremlinistan would never force its beloved students into such a position. Speaking of beloved, the bestest boyfriend in all the land lead the Student Council meeting. Apparently there is going to be a trip. I have no idea when or where but it is upcoming, so be aware of that! Especially if it's the kind of trip where you don't notice something on the floor and then there's falling and lifelong embarassment.
Inappropriately Named Club meets. There is talking, which is ironically appropriate for the inappropriately named. Karal talks to Hoshi, and then Lana teaches him how to speak Crow. No word on if Tink flew in wondering where the long lost yet newly created relative might be. Liir talks to Hoshi. I don't know in what language so I'm going to go with Pig Latin. Andrew teaches Romeo a dead language. That'd be very useful if Romeo started working at Caritas. I'm sure the band would appreciate it. Naomi teaches Andrew Ktarian. Andrew, Karal, and Inara are there for anyone who needs them. John and Andrew discuss Spring Break plans. Mine involve being curled up in my bed with many pints of ice cream, if anyone's curious. And Bob the librarian is there.
Xander: See, my curling up plans involve the bestest boyfriend in all the land, US edition. Not that the ice cream is a bad idea.
Willow: Ice cream is rarely a bad idea. Unless you're fighting a monster who only grows stronger the more you throw ice cream at it. Then it's a bad idea, and also a very cruel twist of fate.
Xander: Or a karmic punishment for being dumb enough to throw ice cream when you should be eating it.
Willow: Or not sharing it with the monster when it asked politely.
Xander: Or that. Which is why you should always have extra ice cream. Preferably Twinkie-flavored; Dawn and I are still working the kinks out of that one, but we think it's gonna be a big hit once we fix the moosh-factor. I might spend the non-curling parts of Spring Break working on that, actually.
Willow: Next up is office hours a-go-go. Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy starts us off. Then there's Vala who is visited by Bob the librarian who wonders what she finds funny. Monkeys maybe? Monkeys are funny. Biff has office hours and Vala stops by to talk to him about ideas for detention. Wait - does that mean she was playing hooky at her own office hours? Does she earn teacher detention for that? Do teachers even have their own special detention? They so should. It could keep them from forgetting to give out homework.
Later on Glitch has dinner in his office for some students. Liir and Andrew bring the food. Which is good as without it it's standing around awkwardly in Glitch's office while wondering if anyone can hear how much your stomach is growling. Karal is there and talks with Liir about detention. Ino is there and brings up Liir's skin problems again and yanno we are all teenagers here. Give the poor guy a break already. Finally there is eating and discussion of the upcoming trip to O.Z. I have no idea if that's related to the Student Council trip or not. If so, uh - oops? Retroactive spoiler alert, anyone?
Dorms where we're sure everybody's staying all week taking practice exams
Xander: In the dorms, it looks like a metric buttload of people -- I'm a professional, I have tools to measure these things -- are planning on spending their Spring Break someplace else, since Luke and Carmela were both packing, and Karal told Evey he's going on a trip, before he gave her a meditation lesson. Oh, well, okay, one person was reading, not packing - raise your hand if you're shocked it was Adah.
Willow: Good for her! In the common room that's one floor less cool than five Isabel has hot chocolate and Janice Dickenson. I hasten to add that the latter is on the TV. If she was in the common room she'd be forcing the boys to take their shirts off. So pretty much a normal co-ed day in Fandom, but it would be more fierce. Turtle joins Isabel for TV and discussion of evil Meg, Botox, and mooses. I'm a little scared to think of how all those were combined. A giant banana then walks in and starts singing about peanut butter jelly time. Or it was Sky forgetting to take off his work uniform. Possibly both. I don't know if Sky sings, or has a preference about songs that relate to sandwiches. Certainly he could've veered off into a bologna with a first name direction. You have to go wherever the muse takes you. Turtle's muse took her towards mocking Sky. Possibly by peeling him and tossing him on the floor so everyone else could slip on him. It's what Janice would do.
Xander: I'm thinking she might lose ice cream karma for that.
Town, Where Nobody Notices It's Spring Break Because We Never Have Class
Speaking of Sky, bet a bunch of people took off early for break, and that's why he didn't get much company at the banana stand today. Which I'm sure he's heartbroken about. Same with Sora, River, Jolee and Dr. Troy, at Turtle & Canary, the Arms, Caritas, and the clinic.
Willow: Maybe everybody's already staying home due to depression?
Xander: Apparently some people swallowed the pain, since Renee got a visit from Dale at the cop shop, and they talked cop talk as you do at the cop shop when you're talky cops. Jen had plenty of company at Pizza Planet: the boss man was there, and so were Adam who talked pizza and Sky who talked lonely banana stands. Rikku opened Wellspring Arms and Romeo stopped in to talk, possibly about R-names and how they're fun to reel off in a row. Like River who hit the junkyard after work, and Billy who... doesn't start with an R. So much for my streak.
Willow: Still, I'm touched that you attempted to celebrate alliteration just to cheer me up. Thank you.
Xander: Any time. Liir who also doesn't start with an R opened the Book Haven and got chatty with Mr. Glitch about detention and dinner, and Teddy about ... shininess. And comics. Possibly shiny comics? Oh, no, shiny Liir; we're back to the skin issues. Hang in there, kid; puberty really does end. Eventually.
Meanwhile, Chad opened Groovy Tunes and again with the handraising, if you're surprised Teddy was there, talking about... huh, whaddya know - detention and dinner, just like Liir and Mr. Glitch.
*squeakity-squeak*
Xander: Huh? Oh, missed that, sorry. They also talked about kisses. Which not so much like Liir and Mr. Glitch. Hopefully.
Willow: I'm sure we can all agree that student/teacher relationships should remain of the student/teacher variety. Otherwise it's very naughty. They give you special detention for that. So I'm told.
Xander: In Hell, I'm guessing. Speaking of , Giles opened the Magic Box, and Andrew stopped in to ask if they could step his lessons up to actually summoning things. Um. Giles, can we talk?
Over at the Arms, Mary called several people to tell them news about the wedding. There's a wedding? Oh em gee, why am I always the last to hear these things? I mean, besides the fact that you barely know me and I don't even know who you're marrying. But congrats, anyway.
Closer to home - my home, that is - my tenant Sheriff Roy was looking through books in his apartment, and Ed stopped in to see if Roy's heard from Al. Then Kerrigan brought Roy some whiskey, the gift that keeps on giving until you pass out.
Willow: Or drink it all. Though you could recycle the bottle. That part keeps on giving then.
Xander: You could build a ship in it. Or throw it at monsters instead of your ice cream, since you'll need that to keep up your strength when you spend Spring Break taking practice exams. Which is what the bestest boyfriend in all the land, US Edition and I are gonna be doing, you betcha. Yup. All the practice exams we can--
*squeakity-squeak squeak*
Xander: What? I didn't say anything the FCC could fine us for! You can't prove that was dirty!
*SQUEAK*
Xander: Oh, there's another note. Bridge turned into a ferret in the preserve. Gotcha.
*yet another moment of silence*
Xander: ...SON OF A--
SQUEAK!
Willow: Language! All of you! And eep! Go! Find Bridge! Let me know if he needs a pair of knitted ferret-sized gloves! Shoo!
Xander: [unintelligible mutterings that might include Good night, Fandom as he slams his way out the door, but probably not]
Willow: I said this was a horrible day but did anyone listen to me? No. Well the squirrels did. And all of you listening to this broadcast. And Xander. But still! *sigh* Oh well. Good night, Fandom! Try to do your best to survive through the week!