Fandom Radio, Saturday, May 26
"Hello everyone, this is John 'I'm Not Wearing Any Pants' Crichton. Except I am. Wearing pants. Or am I? Pants or no pants, it's good to be back here on the radio. I'm sure you've all missed me. Last time we talked, I was but a wee little junior and I'm all graduated and they let me teach.
Yes, they let ME teach. I think the school exploding in a fireball of alien might've jarred the minds of our illustrious principal, and hey, John's a great name for a kid, boy or girl, and vice principal who got shot in the ass. Vice Principal Ass Shot!
Anyway, let's get on with all the news and views that you can use!
We Don't Need No Education
Detention today is held by two guys named Jerry. Sokka, Sam Winchester, who has great legs uh huh, Jim Ellison, and Hermione all attend and I'm sure they have fun!
The new dean, Dean Drax has office hours. You need a new name. Welcome to the school Dean Hubert!
Getting Back to Nature
So, we're back in cabins. That means no nookie! I mean it, Rory. Stop asking me to come play late night games of Chutes and Ladders with you. People can hear us! And I always win anyway.
Today, Dawn, Buffy, Molly, Katara and Annette headed off island. The notes say that's dirty but I don't see how unless they were going to a monster truck race. Trucker hats are kinda sexy on girls, dontcha know. Also, Katara could just dry them off with her power of water. Earth! wind! Fire...sorry, don't know where that came from.
Johnny offers to hang out with Savannah in her cabin since Savannah's got hurt in the showdown with that dude who wore the hockey mask. We could've used you when we had a hockey team, man!
Ronan picks up John Sheppard, cool name, from his alcove and they head out to town.
At the Kraken campfire, Seely drinks a cup of coffee and generally acts like a dork. Someone must've gotten their first season Factoids of Life DVD's in the mail! Seely tries to explain contraception to Zuko and he doesn't go a very good job. You could always ask GOB. He's an idiot but I'm sure he can help! Peter Pevensie asks for help from Zuko with the campfire, Seely's in a great mood and this kind of scares Peter. You guys just need to kiss and make up, seriously. COME ON, DO IT. John Sheppard meets Seely and they discuss Fandom's good points like PIE. PIE PIE PIE. Everyone should bring Pricipal Badass pie. I think she might need it. Seely appreciated Ronan's apology to Buffy but warns him of plans for revenge if Ronan screws up again. Yes, Ronan, no one wants to be subjected to Seely's stash of Dr Quinten, Medicine Woman. Aravis and Seely are adorable and Aravis asks about his pleasant dreams.
Robin is sad over at the Minotaur campfire. Adam stops by to say hello.
Today, the Pixie living room, which is just a really emasculating cabin name for a cabin with guys living there, Aeryn and I talked about games and then I stared at her. But, back to the name. I'm changing it. It's now called the Crabshack. No one has crabs though. I don't think. Let's just call it Cabin Full of Manly Men who Sometimes Dress Up as Girls to Show the Girls How It Should be Done.
Yeah.
At the Platypus cabin, Jim plays basketball with marshmallows. You're wasting food? DUDE. CRIME. Don't let the principal hear about you wasting food. She likes food right now. PIE. Pam accuses Jim of wasting marshmallows and he expresses disappointment when she tells him she didn't make cheerleading. We could start our own club, Pam! The Kick High Club! Gavin and Pam talk about the beach and this Gavin kid sounds kinda dumb. I don't know why. Just a vibe. Gavin and Jim meet and Jim tells Gavin that's he a cyborg. And I think Gavin believed. Jim's a cyborg? Will you be conquering Tokyo for your next trick? Jim and Willow discuss marshmallows versus Peeps. There's a big difference. Marshmallows will not come alive and KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP like Peeps will. Scary things. Willow meets Robin and there is flailing! Vi and Willow talk workshops, Robin and Jim meet and wonder what the campfire will look like when the fire goes out and Vi accuses Jim of wasting food. That's because HE IS. I hope the marshmallows come alive and throw you in the fire, dude.
At the Jackalope campfire, Dean attempts to roast marshmallows by fire. Sam who has great legs comes by to check on Dean's injured shoulder. Dean tell Turtle, MORTAL COMBAT, about the defeat of the killer in the woods and Valentine escorts Rikku to check on Dean. Charlie and Sam Winchester of the great legs, introduce themselves to each other. Turtle asks Charlie about her job and hopes Miss Valentine isn't Valentine in drag. NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE TOUCH OF THE FEMININE SIDE. Rikku tells Valentine about her evening fighting the dude in the woods, Rikku also apologizes to Dean for getting them hurt, and Charlie stops in to check on Dean.
Karal's cat brings him a bag. Karal, check the bag. Make sure the cat didn't bring you something icky. My mom used to have cats that would throw up in a shoe and think it was the best present ever.
Takin' You Downtown!
In town today, Roy Mustang and Aly talk about bombs and the Danger Room. Hey, Professor Aly Who Has No Last Name? I can teach you to dodge the bombs, if you need help? I'm pretty good. Also, you're not a natural blonde.
Leo opened the Photo Hut today. Karal, who I almost called Kraft Mac and Cheese, was down at the beach with Trenor, who I almost called Tenor. While down at the beach, Karal and Tori talk some, and Karal meets Chad. Chad tells Karal about his stabby wound and OW. And then Chad offers Karal the opportunity to poke it. I...hope that's not dirty.
John Sheppard and Ronan head to JGOB for some PIE. Yes, I did just shout that. I believe that pie is so sacred, it should be shouted, not just spoken. PIE PIE PIE PIE.
Moist, which is a very, VERY bad name, opens the Post Office and encounters some luggage trouble. Forget that, MOIST? What was your momma on? You are now...Ricardo. That's much better. And it doesn't make me think of words like undulate and throb. Ew.
Jude opened Luke's and took care of Rikku, one of my best students, while she was recovering from her injuries. Rikku, if you need to miss class, you can. Go annoy Vice Pricipal Ass Shot for me.
Adam goes rollarblading in the park where he meets Cassie.
Charlie, not Kawalsky opens Groovy Tunes! Namine comes in and she and Charlie talk about Blue Oyster Cult. I was always partial to Red Scalloped Coven myself. Adam also comes in and he and Charlie talk about their workshops so far. Yitzhak fingerwiggles at Charlie and maybe he's just not awake yet? Or he cursed Charlie. Charlie, if you wake up a man, it will be OKAY.
Alphonse opens the Book Haven. Alphonse and Namine talk of the islands secrets and mysteries. Turtle...MORTAL COMBAT. Ahem. Sorry, I don't know what that was. Anyway, Turtle opened Turtle and Canary today. John and Ronan come in to buy fooooooooood.
At the clinic today, Christian was on shift. Lana stoppped in to see Phoebe and Bel tried to get Phoebe and Anders sprung from the clinic. Hey guys? I've hung a sign on our cabin proclaiming the new name. So you's don't get lost! John Winchester and Principal Gotta Be Pissed Off come in to visit Dean. Wilson had the late shift and had one patient left.
Phoebe opened Caritas. Kenpachi, whose name totally names me think of a Barbie doll, sorry, came in for a bottle of teckeela. Anders and Bel were there to watch out for Phoebe and Mary is there in a new dress. Welcome to town, Mary!
Setsuna opened Devil's Nest and showing off with some fancy moves. Billy came in for a fruit punch. Mmmm, fruity.
Mel takes Molly on patrol and they talk about the dude in the woods and Molly's new bikini. Over at the Arms Hotel, Mary's new chef arrives. I hope he cooks PIE.
And that's all from me, the future Mr Aeryn Sun. I beat you all to marriage...well, except for Professor Deadpool. Hey, did you wear the dress? You're whipped, not dirty, now? Congratulations! Until next time, this is John 'Now I'm Really Not Wearing Pants Yay Boxers' Crichton, signing off.
Yes, they let ME teach. I think the school exploding in a fireball of alien might've jarred the minds of our illustrious principal, and hey, John's a great name for a kid, boy or girl, and vice principal who got shot in the ass. Vice Principal Ass Shot!
Anyway, let's get on with all the news and views that you can use!
We Don't Need No Education
Detention today is held by two guys named Jerry. Sokka, Sam Winchester, who has great legs uh huh, Jim Ellison, and Hermione all attend and I'm sure they have fun!
The new dean, Dean Drax has office hours. You need a new name. Welcome to the school Dean Hubert!
Getting Back to Nature
So, we're back in cabins. That means no nookie! I mean it, Rory. Stop asking me to come play late night games of Chutes and Ladders with you. People can hear us! And I always win anyway.
Today, Dawn, Buffy, Molly, Katara and Annette headed off island. The notes say that's dirty but I don't see how unless they were going to a monster truck race. Trucker hats are kinda sexy on girls, dontcha know. Also, Katara could just dry them off with her power of water. Earth! wind! Fire...sorry, don't know where that came from.
Johnny offers to hang out with Savannah in her cabin since Savannah's got hurt in the showdown with that dude who wore the hockey mask. We could've used you when we had a hockey team, man!
Ronan picks up John Sheppard, cool name, from his alcove and they head out to town.
At the Kraken campfire, Seely drinks a cup of coffee and generally acts like a dork. Someone must've gotten their first season Factoids of Life DVD's in the mail! Seely tries to explain contraception to Zuko and he doesn't go a very good job. You could always ask GOB. He's an idiot but I'm sure he can help! Peter Pevensie asks for help from Zuko with the campfire, Seely's in a great mood and this kind of scares Peter. You guys just need to kiss and make up, seriously. COME ON, DO IT. John Sheppard meets Seely and they discuss Fandom's good points like PIE. PIE PIE PIE. Everyone should bring Pricipal Badass pie. I think she might need it. Seely appreciated Ronan's apology to Buffy but warns him of plans for revenge if Ronan screws up again. Yes, Ronan, no one wants to be subjected to Seely's stash of Dr Quinten, Medicine Woman. Aravis and Seely are adorable and Aravis asks about his pleasant dreams.
Robin is sad over at the Minotaur campfire. Adam stops by to say hello.
Today, the Pixie living room, which is just a really emasculating cabin name for a cabin with guys living there, Aeryn and I talked about games and then I stared at her. But, back to the name. I'm changing it. It's now called the Crabshack. No one has crabs though. I don't think. Let's just call it Cabin Full of Manly Men who Sometimes Dress Up as Girls to Show the Girls How It Should be Done.
Yeah.
At the Platypus cabin, Jim plays basketball with marshmallows. You're wasting food? DUDE. CRIME. Don't let the principal hear about you wasting food. She likes food right now. PIE. Pam accuses Jim of wasting marshmallows and he expresses disappointment when she tells him she didn't make cheerleading. We could start our own club, Pam! The Kick High Club! Gavin and Pam talk about the beach and this Gavin kid sounds kinda dumb. I don't know why. Just a vibe. Gavin and Jim meet and Jim tells Gavin that's he a cyborg. And I think Gavin believed. Jim's a cyborg? Will you be conquering Tokyo for your next trick? Jim and Willow discuss marshmallows versus Peeps. There's a big difference. Marshmallows will not come alive and KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP like Peeps will. Scary things. Willow meets Robin and there is flailing! Vi and Willow talk workshops, Robin and Jim meet and wonder what the campfire will look like when the fire goes out and Vi accuses Jim of wasting food. That's because HE IS. I hope the marshmallows come alive and throw you in the fire, dude.
At the Jackalope campfire, Dean attempts to roast marshmallows by fire. Sam who has great legs comes by to check on Dean's injured shoulder. Dean tell Turtle, MORTAL COMBAT, about the defeat of the killer in the woods and Valentine escorts Rikku to check on Dean. Charlie and Sam Winchester of the great legs, introduce themselves to each other. Turtle asks Charlie about her job and hopes Miss Valentine isn't Valentine in drag. NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE TOUCH OF THE FEMININE SIDE. Rikku tells Valentine about her evening fighting the dude in the woods, Rikku also apologizes to Dean for getting them hurt, and Charlie stops in to check on Dean.
Karal's cat brings him a bag. Karal, check the bag. Make sure the cat didn't bring you something icky. My mom used to have cats that would throw up in a shoe and think it was the best present ever.
Takin' You Downtown!
In town today, Roy Mustang and Aly talk about bombs and the Danger Room. Hey, Professor Aly Who Has No Last Name? I can teach you to dodge the bombs, if you need help? I'm pretty good. Also, you're not a natural blonde.
Leo opened the Photo Hut today. Karal, who I almost called Kraft Mac and Cheese, was down at the beach with Trenor, who I almost called Tenor. While down at the beach, Karal and Tori talk some, and Karal meets Chad. Chad tells Karal about his stabby wound and OW. And then Chad offers Karal the opportunity to poke it. I...hope that's not dirty.
John Sheppard and Ronan head to JGOB for some PIE. Yes, I did just shout that. I believe that pie is so sacred, it should be shouted, not just spoken. PIE PIE PIE PIE.
Moist, which is a very, VERY bad name, opens the Post Office and encounters some luggage trouble. Forget that, MOIST? What was your momma on? You are now...Ricardo. That's much better. And it doesn't make me think of words like undulate and throb. Ew.
Jude opened Luke's and took care of Rikku, one of my best students, while she was recovering from her injuries. Rikku, if you need to miss class, you can. Go annoy Vice Pricipal Ass Shot for me.
Adam goes rollarblading in the park where he meets Cassie.
Charlie, not Kawalsky opens Groovy Tunes! Namine comes in and she and Charlie talk about Blue Oyster Cult. I was always partial to Red Scalloped Coven myself. Adam also comes in and he and Charlie talk about their workshops so far. Yitzhak fingerwiggles at Charlie and maybe he's just not awake yet? Or he cursed Charlie. Charlie, if you wake up a man, it will be OKAY.
Alphonse opens the Book Haven. Alphonse and Namine talk of the islands secrets and mysteries. Turtle...MORTAL COMBAT. Ahem. Sorry, I don't know what that was. Anyway, Turtle opened Turtle and Canary today. John and Ronan come in to buy fooooooooood.
At the clinic today, Christian was on shift. Lana stoppped in to see Phoebe and Bel tried to get Phoebe and Anders sprung from the clinic. Hey guys? I've hung a sign on our cabin proclaiming the new name. So you's don't get lost! John Winchester and Principal Gotta Be Pissed Off come in to visit Dean. Wilson had the late shift and had one patient left.
Phoebe opened Caritas. Kenpachi, whose name totally names me think of a Barbie doll, sorry, came in for a bottle of teckeela. Anders and Bel were there to watch out for Phoebe and Mary is there in a new dress. Welcome to town, Mary!
Setsuna opened Devil's Nest and showing off with some fancy moves. Billy came in for a fruit punch. Mmmm, fruity.
Mel takes Molly on patrol and they talk about the dude in the woods and Molly's new bikini. Over at the Arms Hotel, Mary's new chef arrives. I hope he cooks PIE.
And that's all from me, the future Mr Aeryn Sun. I beat you all to marriage...well, except for Professor Deadpool. Hey, did you wear the dress? You're whipped, not dirty, now? Congratulations! Until next time, this is John 'Now I'm Really Not Wearing Pants Yay Boxers' Crichton, signing off.