thinky thoughts

[fanbeatsman]

So yesterday I stole forthwritten away from the LGBT conference that brought her back up north and awesome times were had, even if there was a disappointing lack of genitalia-shaped flora. BUT, while it was brilliant to see forthwritten again, and all the new people she introduced me to were lovely, I still found myself left with that bizarre feeling of alienation I get

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[aphephobia]

I remember my sister, when she was IDing as a lesbian, said she felt really uncomfortable in the Queer Lounge because she'd actually been attacked by rabid militant lesbian feminists because she "looked too straight." (I remember going to a feminist conference and feeling similarly out of place because I felt like the one person wearing makeup and conservative-ish clothing and with conventionally-dyed hair.)

It's really difficult, and I hate to say it, but I've come across just as many arseholes and zealots amongst "my tribe" as I have elsewhere. When I was younger, I felt like I had to conform to their politics and ideals, and when I saw some of their meanness and asshattery and just condescending bullshit, I actively rebelled. The idea of being told how to think, or that I wasn't queer enough/needed to be out and vocal/etc, really pissed me off. And I'm a fairly assertive, snarky-arsed person.

It says something, like "YOU PEOPLE ARE MISSING THE POINT" when you're finding as a student that your interactions with the fucking Labor

[fanbeatsman]

*nods* I hear you on a lot of this. I mean, one of the things that prompted this post was the fact that the space I was in at the weekend was actually pretty awesome in terms of not policing identity and being tolerant and sensitive (so I was wondering why I still felt alienated, you know?) - but I have to say, I do very often have a lot of issues with the way activism manifests. I think it's so, so easy for it to descend into blinkered-ness, smugness, patronising-ness (yay I am eloquent this morning ¬_¬), and not actually listening to what the people they're trying to help want or need. I mean, I am really, really far left - I'm the sort of lefty that centre-left people sidle away from and promise "we're not all like that" :D But I find identity politics incredibly alienating, and my understanding of sexuality isn't exactly a popular one in most queer rights discourse, and I always always always find myself wanting to complicate and qualify things :/ Idk. I know a lot of people who are incredible activists, really sophisticated

[aphephobia]

Ack! I somehow C&Ped part of a response to someone else's LJ into yours... my apology-- but yes, would LOVE to see your meta. Sorry about that.

think it's so, so easy for it to descend into blinkered-ness, smugness, patronising-ness (yay I am eloquent this morning ¬_¬), and not actually listening to what the people they're trying to help want or need.

YES. I, um, recently said goodbye to a "friend" who was a hardcore activist, who was "educating herself" and "unlearning" and then who posted a who LJ entry about her internalised classism issues and how she couldn't deal with uneducated people. (I dropped out of school at 14). When I pointed out that she was talking about me, she went into this self-righteous rage where she then decided to attack me (and a novel I'd done the first draft for) out of the blue. (If she'd just gone "Oh shit, I'm sorry, maybe I need to rethink what I just said," I'd have been cool. Instead, she attacked and then needed her smug activist wanker buddies to pat her on the back and congratulate her for

[fanbeatsman]

Ohhh, I hear you. Classism is one of the things that I just want to scream about so so often in activist-y discussions (although it probably rings rather hollow, given that I've got a lot of class and educational privilege myself :/). I'm so sorry to hear that your friend was such an ass about it :( It's maddening when people think that navel-gazing about their privilege is all they have to do to gain activist points, instead of, you know, doing something about it and not hurting the people they're supposedly worried about. Yes, it's a helpful and necessary step to examine yourself and declare what your issues are, but it's not automatically cookie-time just because you've done it.

they don't recognise the privilege in being able to do a lot of the activisty stuff they're on about. I feel for folks with physical disabilities who can't easily access some of the queer lounges... and for the working class people who won't even get to the universities where the queer lounges are, for example, but it seems like a lot of activists miss

[forthwritten]

*big hugs

Followed the link from forthwritten's post,,,

[rosemary_sweet]

"I can stay awkward and shy and internally fuming in the face of oppression because my safety, wellbeing, and social agency are rarely threatened in an extreme, pressing way."
Wonderfully put, thank you.