Chapt. 6- Get Drunk
I Feel
I feel it in the tide of the wind. The absolute coldness of Nothing… I can almost taste the blade that they want to put to my skin.
I feel it in the stir of the air that passes through my lungs.
Something evil is going to happen soon… I know it.
I can feel the earth eat itself and split itself in two.
I want to die.
There is coldness in this dark cell that I now abide in. I cannot see the blackness consumes me, eating my insides with sharp black talons. My eyes are staring to
sting. My breathing has become laboured. I feel myself falling apart. My mind is no longer as strong as it once was.
Will you continue the story?
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I felt the traitorous son that I am, after my encounter with that man in the bar. I suppose most would call it ironic. I mean, over a year ago I abandoned and disowned my family.
When I was sitting in the kitchen, with my mother it made my whole existence seem so…surreal. Like none of what has happened in the past actually happened. As though I were still attending Hogwarts and that we were just having a normal, breakfast.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream for Bloody Mary to hear me. I wanted to rush out of that room and strip down nude, allowing any to touch me. Allowing any to defile me.
I wanted to stop the insanity that was going through my mind. I wanted to be able to breathe without being forced to.
I wanted to just feel.
My brothers and Tonks came into the room. Charlie and Bill conversing with Mother as if I wasn’t gracing the room as well. However that was never quite unusual.
I was always the odd one out.
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I spent that morning in my room. Lying on the hard uncomfortable mattress, thinking of what a terrible waste my life has become.
Thinking of all those years I put into my intelligence only to find out that I was doomed. That I could obsess over grades and become the best I could possibly be…
My brothers believe I was, a prat. A know-it-all prat, who cared only about his reputation.
And I was.
I can admit it. I knew the way they looked at me when I was ten up until I was 20… the rolling of their eyes when I accomplished something that I wanted. I know that they hated me. Loathed being in the same room as me.
But I didn’t care. They didn’t know me back then, as they don’t know me now.
They didn’t see the darkness that consumed me when I was a child. The way that only burying myself in my studies, soothed that odd emptiness inside me. That their obsession with Quidditch, is the same as mine with books. They have no hope in knowing.
The way that I couldn’t stop the tears at night when I, in vain, tried to sleep. They could feel the pain and despair that insomnia placed on me.
They just didn’t see me. I was invisible in my own circle of small defeats. I knew it, always did.
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The next morning I went to the Ministry only to find myself unmotivated. I found myself staring out of the fake window, seeing the false sunlight. Bored to the extent that I now sympathized with Fred and George when they sat in a class that they didn’t care about.
One of the stupid flying memos came towards me that day.
I wanted to rip and tear it into shreds. I wanted to throw things around, destroying every little particle of it.
I did realize that that would’ve been one of the most childish actions that I probably have done.
The memorandum in itself said that the Minister wanted to see me. I, of course was only too eager to see the Minister about some work for me to do. Considering that if I allow myself to stay unoccupied, I tended to let myself think about it.
So you’re an alcoholic?
But of course…
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When I opened the door to the Minister’s office I found myself staring at the head of a blonde man. Very blonde, and with him there was some people who looked as if they
hadn’t showered for days. Or more like weeks considering one of the men was shedding some black char that marred his skin.
I suppose my first rational thought was that ‘this has got to be a joke’. I half- way expected Fred and George coming out of the cabinet and screaming surprise.
But it was real.
The blonde man had his wand raised to the Minister’s face. Pointing it at that pudgier man’s nose. I was in shock. Though no more that Minister Fudges’ if he was just going to sit there. When the curse was spoken I didn’t hear it. All my senses were taken up by the green flame, which erupted from the wand.
Only when the brown eyes’ dimmed and the head rolled on the shoulder blades, did I realize that the door behind me had closed, and the Death Eater’s were now interested
in me.
Snippets of their conversations caught my ear. Debating from what I could understand. It reminded me of that Muggle childhood story that Father used to tell us as a kid.
The one where the evil witches’ debate on how to cook the little child.
Ironic, really.
It wasn’t until the blonde man turned around was I able to recognize him. The same man that insulted my father in front of a bookstore years back…. Malfoy, if the last name is correct.
I remember the other faces. Nott, Goyle, Crabbe, MacNair… two of those people had been Ministry employees.
“Take him to our Master! Are you insane? He’s a filthy Mudblood lover, he is a Blood Traitor… A Weasley!” The blonde man was hissing as though he could speak Parselmouth.
“Exactly. After the Dark Lord gets through with him, than he’ll leave him as a present to Dumbledore!” Nott was speaking to him. The only one of the four who
seemed to have the intelligence to do so.
It was only then did I realize that I was lying on the floor. How I got there was a mystery to me. I attributed it to the shock I was still feeling.
They had decided…
Blackness filled my world once more…
Darkness that would later be filled to the brim, with these burning gut retching red eyes.
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