Chapt.5- Get Drunk
Drink me up with your ice cold eyes.
Fill the glass to the brim
Let the red wine spill over that brim.
Allow me to clean it up
Eat, my love
You said unto me.
Yes, feast on the meat that I place before you
For no thing shall fill you up
As the flesh of your brother.
-Lord Voldemort to Percy Weasley
Five days after capture.
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In a cell I am kept.
Preparing for death.
Do I know not know how much time has been wasted.
All I know is that I have failed and waltzed straight into the arms of this man. All I know is that my body is covered in scars that I do not understand.
How did this happen?
Ah, I tried to play the hero.
Hero?
Hero. The sovereign that I am not. The hero that I was never to be.
Tell me again, how did this happen?
Alright. But just one more time.
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“Percy, did you get it?” I nodded and produced a folder.
All the information they asked me to get them in that folder. Tonks took it from my hand smiling as she sent it off to Dumbledore.
I felt the sudden urge to tell her that I could have done that. But I kept my mouth closed. I don’t want to have an argument. All I want to do is go to bed, and release myself of the guilt I felt.
Why didn’t you?
Ah, let me finish.
Sorry.
That’s OK.
A snowy owl came into the room and delivered a parcel to me. I recognized the beautiful creature as belonging to Harry. Hedwig, I believe it is called.
Thanking it I placed the small parcel in my pocket to shield it from a very curious Tonks.
Once I was safely in my room I opened it.
'Dear Percy,
We went to Hogsmeade a couple days ago and I found
something that you might like. I instantly thought that
it was you.
Yours,
Harry.'
The parcel was a little orb. It had a man bent over a desk in it writing furiously away. When I looked closer it the miniature man had flaming red hair, the colour I used to have. On the back of the desk was a symbol that only the Minister for Magic receives.
It was easy to detect that Harry was still bitter at me about the way I’ve been.
I wrote a small thank you note. With a ‘Love, Percy’, just to piss him off.
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The next day I prepared myself for another ‘mission’ for Dumbledore. A folder about the Department of Mysteries that only I, Minister’s Assistant would have access
to.
It was easy enough, just like all the other information I’ve been getting for the Order.
Though of what the information’s importance was, I still have no idea.
Everyday for the past three months has been the same.
Sneak out the folder, sneak it back in.
And so my life became ‘Perfect Percy’ once again. I lived at Grimmauld #12 for the entire time.
When did it go wrong?
A miscalculation on the Order’s part.
It wasn’t your fault?
I think that deep down I wanted it to go wrong.
Hmm…
It was at the end of November that I felt it. That absolute need. I was supposed to finish writing an invitation to the Asian Ministries. A banquet, to further the communications between the countries.
But, as my quill dipped into the inkbottle I felt the suffocation take over my lungs. I didn’t realize that as I worked I was thinking, dreaming about that sweet bitter taste of it. That I was dreaming of the sense of relief that I wasn’t ‘Perfect Percy’ as I swallowed that awful nectar down my throat.
I needed to get out. I looked up and found myself looking across my closet office into a mirror. I was the same as I had always been. The red hair far too bright for my untended skin. The lean body under nourished giving me a skinny gone to waste look. My eyes covered with horned rimmed glasses.
I didn’t want to see this. I didn’t want to feel this.
I stood up.
Madness taking me over, in my moment of need.
I left the quill dripping on the blank parchment and apparated out of the office.
I looked for the nearest bar I could find. I couldn’t stop the sense of reeling because I needed it that badly.
I admit that I wasn’t expecting the need and want to be so…
…out of control?
Yes, I didn’t think that it would be.
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I have no idea how long it was. How long I sat there drinking until the world began to blur, even through my eyeglasses. A whirl of emotions balled in my chest, as does happen when I drink heavily. My mind was perfectly numb. No damned useless information. No sudden realizations that the world was coming to an end for me.
Nothing.
And perhaps that is the way I have always wanted it for me. Perhaps ‘nothing’ is the way that things should be for me.
Another drink. The taste of it doesn’t bother me anymore.
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The world faded and all that mattered was the urge to throw up. No! I did not want to throw up.
There was a man right beside my already swaggering body. Putting his arm around me.
If I had been sober I would’ve been sickened to my core.
I allowed him to lead me to his house with promises of more liquor. Among other things.
I allowed him to take my clothes off as I drank deeply from an empty rum bottle.
I allowed him… many things.
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Awakening I looked to the other side of the bed.
Thinking of nothing, but that familiar pounding in my skull. The man in whom I allowed to take me as I was under influence was still sleeping.
Not too bad looking. Amazing that he could look like that, whilst I remembered nothing of last night’s events.
Light brown hair, tanned dark looking skin. Tall, but still shorter than I. Then again, most people are. And all he had to do was give you more alcohol…
Hell! With a deal like that, anyone would be in bed with me.
He was still sleeping despite my trying to get him up. So I finally grabbed a bed sheet and went in search of the bathroom. After relieving myself I took a shower.
Then I went back to the room and gathered my clothes, prepared to leave. I had no hopes that the man would wake up any time soon. Besides I needed to see if Mother was worried at all. Unlikely but there was always that chance.
Leaving the house I noticed how abnormally clean it was. Small and clean. Unusual but then again,
Who am I to define ‘Normalcy’?
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